I Used to Be a Man

I used to be a man. That infamous iljin girl from high school—she was still terrifying even years after graduation. And because my rent kept piling up, I ended up borrowing money from her of all ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠people. Ever since that day, Jiyeon would show up at my one-room apartment whenever she got the chance. Pounding on the door, spewing curses, scaring the shit out of me. That's how I've been living, day by day, hounded by her debt collection.

Thud, thud.

"Hey, Yurin! Get your ass out here. You deaf or what?"

"Hand over the money you borrowed, now."

Right now, Jiyeon's hammering away at the front door from outside. I huddled there, not daring to step out of the room.

Bang, crash.

"If you don't come out, I'm fucking breaking this door down?"

"Just come out nice and quiet."

I can't hear you. I can't hear a thing. Plugging my ears, I buried my head between my knees and tuned out her voice. With only 50,000 won to my name, how the hell am I supposed to pay her back?

Bang.

"Fuck, if you don't pay up tomorrow, I'm busting in for real."

"Yurin. I'm coming back tomorrow, you hear me?"

With that, Jiyeon finally walked away. Is she gone for real? I stood up, cracked open the door, and peered through the peephole to check.

"Phew, she's finally gone."

I let out a sigh of relief and slumped against the front door. What if she really shows up tomorrow? It might not end with just knocking this time. The money I owe her already exceeds a month's rent. And with just 50,000 won in my pocket, I have no way to pay it back. I can't just sit here like ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this. I need to find a part-time gig, right now. A day job, something quick.

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through job postings. That's when I spotted an absolute goldmine.

A clinical trial part-time job? My life's already fucked—what do I have to lose? I know it seems sketchy. But it's still better than Jiyeon kicking down my door tomorrow. And get this—they're paying 5 million won per shot. I only owe her about 2 million, so I'd even have cash left over. I dialed the number from the ad without a second thought.

Ring, ring—

"Hello, I'm calling about the job posting."

"Yeah, that's right."

"Got it, heading over now."

Click.

No interview or anything—just come right away? Total jackpot. I rushed through a quick wash, threw on some going-out clothes, and bolted outside.

After a long walk, I arrived at the place the woman on the phone mentioned. Ah, this must be it. I stood in front of the building and looked up. A perfectly normal-looking four-story officetel loomed there. Yeah, this seems legit enough to drop the suspicions. I headed straight inside.

A counter came into view right away, with a female employee seated there.

"Hello. What brings you here?"

"Uh, I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠came for the clinical trial part-time job."

"Ah, you're the one who called earlier."

The female employee scanned me up and down, blatantly sizing me up like she was dissecting me piece by piece.

"Someone else was just here. We're setting up the experiment now, so have a seat and wait a bit."

"Oh, sure. I'll wait."

They told me to hurry, but now I'm waiting? Anyway, who was that other person? Figuring there are plenty of desperate folks like me, I let it slide. After that, I just sat in the chair, watching time drag on. Man, how long do I have to wait? Over 20 minutes passed, and the female employee who'd gone up in the elevator still hadn't come back.

How much longer? Then the elevator doors slid open. Out stumbled Jiyeon, wobbling unsteadily. Her face was redder than usual, her breathing a little ragged.

"What the hell? Running into you here?"

I tried to bolt, but the iljin girl spotted me and came over.

"Fuck, bumping into you like this? Why'd you ignore me when I was knocking earlier?"

"No, that's..."

"Answer me. Why haven't you paid up your overdue debt?"

"I swear, I don't have any money..."

"How much you got?"

"50,000 won..."

"I said if you don't pay tomorrow, you're done for, right?"

"Please, just this once... Jiyeon... I'm here for the clinical trial job, so I can pay you for sure today. Okay?"

"Hah... You too, huh?"

"Huh...?"

"Must be real desperate for cash to come to a place like this."

"You too... you here for this?"

"Do what you want."

Jiyeon smirked evasively.

"I'm out. Do the trial good, see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah..."

Something felt off, but for now, I was just grateful the iljin girl was leaving my side. The moment she was gone, the female employee came down in the elevator.

"We're all set now. You can come up."

"Okay."

I went up to the fourth floor with her. We headed straight into what looked like a lab room. Inside, there was just a chair, a desk with a syringe and vial on it.

"Please have a seat here."

"Oh... sure."

Half-doubting, I sat down anyway.

"Roll up your T-shirt sleeve."

"Got it."

"We're injecting the drug—it'll sting, so try not to flinch."

"Y-yeah."

As she filled the syringe, I started getting nervous for no reason.

"Nngh."

"This one's gonna hurt more than most shots."

"Y-yeah..."

"I'll inject it slowly. Tell me right away if you feel anything off."

"Y-yeahh..."

She started pushing the drug in very slowly after my response. Once it was all in, she pulled the needle from my arm.

"Press here with this cotton for hemostasis. Here's your 5 million won."

"Th-thanks."

"If you feel hot or weird tonight, it's a normal reaction—don't worry too much."

"Okay, got it."

One shot for 5 million won? Holy shit, this is even better than I thought. Staring at the thick stack of 50,000-won bills in my hand, happiness welled up naturally. I stood to head home in high spirits, but... huh? My body wouldn't hold steady—I started staggering.

"You might feel wobbly on the way home. It's nothing, don't worry."

"Oh, okay..."

"Take care."

"Th-thanks."

I took the elevator down, left the building, and headed home. The moment I got there, I called Jiyeon first thing. I'd only ever gotten her debt calls before—this was the first time I was calling her.

Ring—

"Jiyeon, I got the money, so come by tomorrow. Hehe."

Click. What? Does she hate that I'm paying her back? Well, I guess after over a year of dodging, it's fair. If it weren't for this trial, that iljin girl might've half-killed me someday. Thinking about it just gives me a headache. Whatever—time for dinner. Glancing at the clock, it was already mealtime. I hadn't eaten all day—finally. I grabbed ingredients from the fridge, prepped them, whipped up a simple meal. Nice. I set it on the table and muttered softly.

"Let's eat."

I picked up some side dish with chopsticks and shoved it in my mouth. Chew, chew. Gulp.

"Urp."

The second I swallowed, something surged up from my stomach. I clapped my hand over my mouth, but it was no use. Dry heaves wouldn't stop, and the food I'd just eaten splattered onto my palm. I bolted to the bathroom and hunched over the toilet.

"Urrgh."

"Urrrggh."

Stomach acid burned my throat like fire. Tears streamed out on their own. Pressure rushed to my head, vision spinning dizzily. Why is this happening? I can't even swallow one bite. Something's wrong with my body. Now my head's heating up, cold sweat breaking out all over.

"Nngh..."

I flushed the vomit down and staggered to bed. No energy left to clean up the food on the table. No money for meds beforehand either. What do I do? My whole body's scorching—hard to even take a step. The employee did say side effects like this could happen during the trial. But not this bad. She said it'd be fine. Maybe I'll sleep it off and wake up okay. Yeah, crash for the night and see how I feel. Dragging my aching body, I lurched to the bed and collapsed onto it. Sleep took me instantly.

The next day. I checked my body first thing upon waking. No fever. Dizziness seems gone too. But that's not the issue. Looking down, long hair draped into my view.

"What the hell?"

I tugged at it—my scalp hurt for real.

"Did I turn into a girl overnight?"

"No way this is real?"

"My dick's gotta still be there... right?"

I pulled up my T-shirt, bit the hem, grabbed my chest with one hand. Soft, squishy... Then I dropped my pants and checked below.

"Where's my dick?!"

I stared down—nothing but smooth skin where it should be.

"Hnnngh... What the fuck is this? This can't be real?"

No, I was a man! Panicking, hands groping my breasts and pussy, when—someone pounded on the front door.

Bang, bang!

"Hey, Yurin! Open the damn door quick...!"

"I'm in a hurry."

What now? If I face Jiyeon like this, she'll spot the change for sure. I froze, holding my breath, hoping she'd leave. But today was the day she swore she'd get her money.

"Hey, I said I'd break in today, right?"

"Just you wait."

Click.

She's seriously forcing her way in? I scrambled to stand and hide somewhere, but Jiyeon was faster. She jimmied the door and flung open my room door.

"Hey, you said you'd pay today, fuck."

"Why aren't you—wait, what?"

She burst in, saw me, and froze in shock. Our eyes met. Shit. Busted. And by her, of all people.