Broadcasting? Me? Why? Part 2
"…That’s a pretty heavy question."
"I’m sorry. I know it must be unpleasant… but it’s the most essential question, so I’d appreciate it if you could answer honestly."
Chief Evaluator Choi Bo-mi watched Sia’s reaction, trying to maintain her composure while hiding her tense inner thoughts.
She had already guessed to some extent that Sia had killed or eaten people.
Sia had lived in that other world for a whopping sixty-four years.
No matter how much someone wanted to preserve their humanity and morality, no human was completely flawless.
Of course, the same went for other returnees.
All returnees were survivors of their previous worlds.
They had to do whatever it took to survive.
Murder, robbery, assassination, combat. For most returnees, it was a matter of killing to avoid being killed.
Because of this, many returnees were well-accustomed to the sight of blood.
While analyzing the power of the Deceased Saintess Lee Sia, the Hunter Association had realized she was terrifyingly skilled in combat and killing. They had reached the conclusion that she must have taken multiple human lives in her previous world.
Naturally, killing people was a horrifying and terrible thing.
However, what mattered was whether it had been justified.
And, more importantly, whether she still possessed enough humanity and morality today to integrate into modern society.
"……"
"Sia? If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to force yourself. All returnees have the right to remain sil—"
"No. I just needed a moment to think."
A saintess must not lie.
Regardless of the god she believed in, refusing to lie was a rule and a belief she had imposed upon herself.
Even if she had to sew her lips shut to maintain silence, she would never tell a lie.
It was a penance and a rule that Sia had carried out ever since she became the Deceased Saintess.
Coincidentally, Menelapie, Theresa, and everyone else around her had hated lies as well.
After all, no one truly liked a liar.
Thus, the Deceased Saintess Sia hated lies too.
"This is going to be a bit long."
"…Pardon?"
Having sorted out her thoughts, Sia closed her eyes.
"…Actan Loran. Eldest son of the Loran Count family. A twenty-eight-year-old male. After losing his succession rights to his younger brother, he harbored a grudge and colluded with the Demon King’s army. Sentenced to death for neglecting and causing the deaths of 6,392 territory residents."
Starting simple.
With the death row convicts…
"Kalts Ivan. A thirty-one-year-old male. Sentenced to death for raping nineteen minors."
"Meiran Stasia. A forty-two-year-old female. Assassin. Sentenced to death for the attempted assassination of the imperial family."
"Alitier Krings. A fifty-eight-year-old male. Wealthy merchant. Sentenced to death for supplying strategic weapons to the Demon King’s army and exposing the location of the Imperial Army."
"Iris. A commoner. Orphan. A twelve-year-old girl who was locked in prison for a day as discipline for stealing bread."
"Rosimia Maltaris. Stripped of his title as Knight Commander and sentenced to death along with his entire family for colluding with Actan Loran and the Demon King’s army. A thirty-nine-year-old male."
"Milis Maltaris. Rosimia’s wife. Also sentenced to death for colluding with the Demon King’s army. A forty-year-old female."
"Gluttia. A thirty-two-year-old female. Head warden of the imperial palace dungeon. Died while trying to restrain the Deceased Saintess during a hunger fit."
"Zvie. A twenty-nine-year-old female. A notorious seductress. Died at the hands of the Deceased Saintess while awaiting trial after being accused of swindling multiple men."
"Slaesh. A seventy-three-year-old male. Accused of researching forbidden black magic. Died at the hands of the Deceased Saintess while awaiting trial."
"Moritier Ananta. A forty-four-year-old female. Accused of eighteen counts of fraud and instigating blackmail. Died while awaiting trial."
"Ah…"
Milione, Norvand, Olivia, Hakdas, Nvidia, Florance, Malibu…
Sia kept speaking.
The number of people she named surpassed ten… then fifty.
Yet she did not stop, continuing to recite name after name.
Fifty became a hundred, and still, Sia did not stop listing them.
Sia’s closed eyes slowly fluttered open the moment she spoke the hundred and fiftieth name.
Some had committed crimes worthy of death.
Some were completely innocent.
Some had committed minor offenses, while others were not criminals at all, but knights and wardens guarding the imperial dungeon.
Their ages varied, and their genders were all different.
"Tia Lauria. Commander of the 3rd Division of the Imperial Knights. A thirty-one-year-old female… She was eaten in place of her subordinate while trying to stop the Deceased Saintess during a hunger fit. She was… someone who marched to the Demon King’s castle with me. I had known Tia… ever since she first joined the Imperial Knights. When she joined, I was in the middle of fighting the Demon King’s army alongside Menelapie… When that young girl grew up to become the commander of the 3rd Division, it felt so surreal, and I was as happy as a mother watching her daughter graduate elementary school… But I ended up eating her."
Chief Evaluator Choi Bo-mi realized it clearly.
Those names were all tombstones engraved inside Sia’s mind.
"In total, 192 people. That is the sum of the people who died in the imperial palace dungeon during the Deceased Saintess Lee Sia’s first hunger fit."
"…Ah, ugh… *hic*… *sob*…"
"As for the rest, well… I don’t know. Are there no more? Or is it that I want to remember them, but simply can’t? I’m not sure myself…"
They were all humans who had been eaten by Sia.
Sia opened her eyes and looked at Choi Bo-mi.
"Ugh, uu… *hic*… *sob*…"
Choi Bo-mi’s shoulders trembled as she listened blankly to Sia’s words.
These were not her own emotions.
They were the emotions currently felt by the Deceased Saintess Sia.
Yet Sia’s face remained serene.
No, rather than serene, her eyes were frozen like those of a doll.
Though her face was fixed in a smile, she looked as if she could burst into tears at any moment.
"I’m sorry. Are you okay?"
"…Ugh, *hic*… *sob*…"
Ironically, the one who burst into tears was Choi Bo-mi.
Sia and Choi Bo-mi were still connected through Thought Share.
Choi Bo-mi’s Thought Share was not a mind-reading ability that directly read thoughts.
It merely activated the subconscious realm to make it easier to understand the target's psychology.
However, by connecting with the Deceased Saintess Sia, Choi Bo-mi had been deeply submerged in her psyche.
It felt as if the memories of the moments right before Sia devoured those humans were unfolding before Choi Bo-mi’s eyes like a movie.
Every time Sia spoke the name of someone she had eaten, Choi Bo-mi could feel the sheer depth of the guilt Sia carried for that person.
It was not a simple, superficial emotion like, 'It's a pity they were eaten by me. I'm sorry.'
Sia remembered every single human she had eaten.
Among those death-row criminals, there were those who had mocked the Deceased Saintess.
'They mocked… me… the Deceased Saintess who saved the world from the Demon King…'
Even so, Sia did not harbor a single shred of ill will toward those criminals.
She had no desire to harm them.
She forgave them and did not get angry.
But unfortunately, after killing the Demon King, Sia could no longer consume evil nature.
With the Demon King dead, all those who possessed evil nature perished. The more peaceful the previous world became, the more Sia starved and suffered.
The sheer horror of the hunger Sia experienced as the Deceased Saintess was also indirectly transmitted to Choi Bo-mi through their connection.
To Sia, pain meant hunger, and hunger meant the loss of reason.
Since she could not consume evil nature after defeating the Demon King, Sia’s hunger became a disease and a fit. It was not something she could control.
And Sia had suffered a fit in the imperial dungeon, where she had gone to guide the criminals and heal the wounds they had received during their arrest.
Far from resenting those who insulted her, the Deceased Saintess prayed and apologized to them for eternity, her guilt turning into self-directed fury.
She resented and raged at herself for eating them, sometimes screaming in agony.
When she finally regained her senses and saw the blood and pieces of human flesh on her hands, how must she have felt…?
'Ah, ah…… Ah, ah…… Aaaaaaaah!!!! You piece of trash, you deserve to die!!!!!'
What Choi Bo-mi felt was not just the depth and sincerity of Sia’s guilt.
As soon as she regained her senses from the hunger fit after devouring the prisoners and criminals, Sia had actually attempted suicide.
She had tried to crush her own head and self-harmed until her fists were covered in blood.
But she could not die.
Because she was a Deceased Saintess who had already been banished by death.
Even if she crushed her head, snapped her neck, twisted it, and shattered her bones, the Deceased Saintess Sia, banished by death, would not die.
And there were too many people who would be saddened by her death.
In the end, the Deceased Saintess Sia could not even choose death for herself.
Suffering and self-harming out of guilt, she was not even permitted the mercy of death.
'How… how on earth has she managed to stay sane until now…?'
As if stopped time had suddenly begun to flow again, Choi Bo-mi gasped for breath.
It was like a single thread of life returning to a dead, barren land.
Like a sprout blooming in a dry desert, Sia’s mental world was just like that.
Though her mind had died and withered away long ago, a small oasis still remained, and around it, the Deceased Saintess still craved humanity.
Lee Sia was no longer human.
She was a Deceased Saintess.
Yet she wanted to be human forever, craved to be human, and wanted to prove to herself that she was human.
"Ha, hu… Haa… Ugh…"
"Are you okay?"
Choi Bo-mi, who was crying against her will due to the aftereffects of looking too deeply into Sia’s emotions, raised her head at the cool touch on her cheek.
Sia was the one who should be sad, the one who should want to go mad from self-loathing, yet ironically, she was the one comforting Choi Bo-mi.
She could have been angry at Choi Bo-mi for stealing a look at her thoughts without permission.
"It’s okay. It’s okay. Everything is okay."
"Hic, ugh… Ah, I’m… Haa… Haa…"
Sia patted Choi Bo-mi’s head like a child, reassuring her.
"Yes, I’m the one who deserves to die. Don’t worry, it’s okay."
It took ten minutes for Choi Bo-mi to control her emotions.
But her heart was beating louder than ever before.
"I-I’m sorry… *hic*… I showed you an embarrassing sight… *sniff*…"
"Those weren't your emotions. I’m the bad one. I’m sorry."
"No. It’s… *sniff*… absolutely not your fault, Sia."
Regardless of her will, tears kept streaming down her face. Choi Bo-mi did her best to clean up her messy face with a handkerchief.
A moment later, Choi Bo-mi, who had barely managed to compose herself, gathered her documents and left the room. Soon after, news reached Sia that the second ethical evaluation was over.
Sia checked her expression in the mirror to make sure she didn't look too terrible, then went to Yeonhwa, who was waiting in the next room.
Since Yeonhwa had also been watching Sia and Choi Bo-mi’s ethical evaluation, she had a troubled look on her face.
"They said they’ll let us know the results by today…"
"I see."
Honestly, Sia was not optimistic about the situation.
She could have lied and claimed she had never eaten a human, but Sia simply could not bring herself to lie.
There was a high probability that the broadcast or whatever it was would not be approved.
If the Hunter Association was sane, they would never allow a crazy, cannibalistic Deceased Saintess who had eaten over a hundred humans to broadcast with the Hunter Association’s official certification mark.
"……"
"……"
Silence hung between the two sitting on the chairs for a long time.
Yeonhwa was probably having similar thoughts.
The number of humans Sia had eaten was 192.
And there might be even more victims that Sia couldn't remember.
The silence felt resentful.
Sia couldn't even guess what Yeonhwa would think of her suddenly revealed past, but she could feel Yeonhwa’s agitation through the air.
It was a natural reaction.
Hearing that someone might eat people was one thing, but hearing the direct experience of someone who actually had eaten people was entirely different. It was like pouring rust into an unshaped mold, producing a completely different result than before.
"Yeonhwa."
"Yes…?"
"It’s okay if you find me disgusting. It’s only natural."
"…What did you say?"
"192 people. That’s just the number of people I remember, the ones I’ve set up tombstones for in my head. If I lost my reason to the point of completely losing my memory… I might have killed… no, eaten even more than that. It’s only natural for you to feel disgusted by me."
Yeonhwa bit her lip as Sia smiled as if it were nothing.
"Sister……"
"Yeah, whether you want to cut ties or whatever, I’ll accept it, so just say it."
"…It’s true that I was flustered to suddenly hear such a serious story. But did you really think I would cut ties with you just because I found you disgusting and repulsive?"
"Is that not it?"
"Of course not! I told you on the first day! The Yeon family never forgets a debt of gratitude!"
Sia was taken aback by the passionate, far-from-cold reaction.
I just told you I eat people, you know?
It’s not something you can just accept so easily.
"Returnees are survivors. Do you know what the first social promise our society made to accept returnees was? It was to embrace all those who had to kill to survive, even if they didn't want to. Of course, there were crazy returnees who enjoyed killing. That’s why the ethical evaluation system was created in the first place!"
"Killing a person and eating a person are different. You know what I’m trying to say, Yeonhwa…"
"Then you should know what I’m trying to say too! You still want to be human despite all that, and you think I’m going to ignore that?"
"My wishes and my hunger fits have nothing to do with each other."
Despite Sia’s words, which seemed to push Yeonhwa away, Yeonhwa did not budge.
Unlike her ability to control ice, Yeonhwa’s eyes were currently as warm as a spring breeze.
"Do you know what my nickname was at the academy?"
"Nickname…?"
"Changwi."
"…Changwi… That’s an unfitting nickname."
"Because the people around me always ended up hurt or dead."
She had been a cold and distant child, earning the nickname Changwi at the academy, but right now, Yeonhwa was worrying about Sia more sincerely than anyone else.
"I’ve always lost the people I wanted to keep close. My family, my friends, everyone… But I don’t want to lose anyone anymore. It’s only been about a month since you and I met, but that doesn't change the fact that you saved my life, and it doesn't change my desire to cherish you."
"……"
"Let me make this clear. I don’t find you disgusting, and I never will. And I have no intention of letting anyone else do so either. Whether you intended to or not, you’ve already saved me, and as a member of the Yeon family, I will never forget your grace."
"…This is embarrassing."
"Let me tell you one more thing while we’re at it. If you ever feel so disgusted and repulsed by yourself that you want to commit suicide, I will stop you by any means necessary."
Her way of worrying was quite eccentric.
"You were the one who saved me and reached out to me when I was just a Changwi."
Sia smiled softly.
"I guess I’m lucky."
In her previous world, she had met Menelapie and Theresa.
And in this world, she had met Yeonhwa.
Hearing things like that made it impossible to think of anything else.
"Let’s stop talking about such depressing things and go eat. Eating is the best thing to do when you’re in a bad mood. We can just check the results via text later anyway…"
"…I’ll buy today."
At those words, Yeonhwa finally let her lips curl upward.
"Where would you get the money to do that?"
"I got about 700 million won for catching the wyvern. I have enough to buy our Binggu some food…"
Beep!
"Returnee Lee Sia? And her legal guardian, Yeonhwa?"
Just then, the waiting room door suddenly opened, and someone walked in.
In their hands were various documents and a small silver plaque.
"Approval has just been granted by Minister Kim Si-hyun."
"Pardon?"
"So quickly?!"
Yeonhwa realized something in her mind.
Ah, those Hunter Association bastards, including the minister… Did they really plan to make Sia broadcast or something even before I suggested it?
It was more than just a suspicion; the fact that things were moving this fast was definitely suspicious.
"As of this moment, Returnee Lee Sia is officially permitted to act as a licensed hunter. Although an official hunter rank has not been assigned yet, by the minister’s authority, Hunter Lee Sia is now allowed to broadcast with the association’s official certification mark."
"Is it possible to enter dungeons without a hunter rank…?"
"Under Minister Kim Si-hyun’s direct authority, Hunter Lee Sia will be allowed to enter all dungeons except for a few S-grade dungeons. The minister’s direct authority will take effect in one hour, at 13:30. We would appreciate it if you could visit the Returnee Management Bureau once a month to renew this authority."
This was way too fast.