Goblin Head Soup 1
I love your face and the saintly vibe you give off once in a blue moon, but could you please do something about your atrocious taste in food?
"Excuse me? I don't get why you guys are so hung up on this! What's wrong with me eating what I want to eat?!"
Streamer, I'm begging you. Please eat normal food. Buy some chicken with this.
"Thanks, DieHanzoScrub. I'll use this hundred thousand won to buy tons of sugar, salt, and MSG to develop some brand-new recipes."
I feel so much regret and despair knowing this is what my money is going toward...
"Oh, you're in despair? Maybe I should sing a song for you guys before I end the stream."
"Just to be clear, singing isn't my main content. The Association actually told me not to do it too often."
"Isn't it common knowledge that a saintess can grant buffs just by singing? I think that's why. They said my stream could be classified as broadcasting psychoactive waves..."
Watching the holographic chat window scroll rapidly, I couldn't help but smile at the camera.
"No comment on the hunter license. I stream because talking to you guys is fun. It makes me feel like I'm not eating alone."
"Anyway, that's why the Association asked me to refrain if possible. But... their warning is just a recommendation. I think they're worried someone might target and exploit me. Still, singing a few songs for my tired and struggling viewers is perfectly fine."
"It's fine, it's fine. Delusion is free. You can do whatever you want in your imagination, right?"
"Ah, how did you know?"
Ignoring the flood of question marks in the chat, I pulled out a bowl.
For the record, this was a brand-new bowl I bought just for today's stream.
It was a proper earthenware pot, the kind specifically used for hot stone soups.
"I heard earthenware pots are the best for soup, so I bought one at the convenience store down the street."
When it comes to food, the ingredients, freshness, and cooking process are all important, but the most crucial aspect of the final result is the presentation.
Even heavenly food looks unappetizing if it's served like dog food. Conversely, even mediocre food becomes much easier to enjoy if the plating is beautiful.
First, I just need to place the goblin head nicely in the pot...
"Ah! It crumbled."
No, it's because I simmered it for too long.
What can I do if the head crumbles like powder at the slightest touch of a ladle?
"Can't be helped. We're changing the menu from Goblin Head Soup to Goblin Head Meat Soup."
"Hey, quiet down. I need to concentrate."
"Right now, yes."
First, I placed a portion of rice in the pot, then transferred the crumbled meat on top.
Next, I poured in the broth that had been simmering for hours.
For the record, I put a lot of effort into this broth.
I boiled radish, dried herring, whole garlic, onions, hot peppers, and even a few slices of pear for six hours straight.
Since I boiled it using a fire fueled by holy power, the heat was guaranteed to be intense.
Then, I mixed in a spoonful of seasoning paste I bought from a local soup restaurant and topped it with finely chopped green onions...
"There, plating complete. Doesn't it look pretty good?"
"No, that's the problem. The goblin head needs to be visible so people know it's Goblin Head Soup, but it crumbled because I boiled it too much."
I smiled as I looked at the chaotic chat window.
"Hehe, but eating while talking to you guys makes me feel like I'm not alone."
Still, I was satisfied with the presentation.
"Anyway, it's mealtime. Anyone want to join?"
If you eat all of that within 10 minutes and make it look delicious, I'll send another 300,000 won.
Finish it in 10 minutes and say "Fuck yeah~" for an extra 50,000 won.
"Oh? A sudden mission?"
"We'll have to see, won't we?"
You guys picked the wrong opponent. You think I made this bizarre food just to terrorize my viewers' eyes...
But I am always sincere when it comes to food and cooking.
My body was forced into this state at first, but now it's entirely a matter of personal preference.
And this much? Just eight servings of soup? Piece of cake.
"Alright. We're starting now, right? No backing out."
"Then, begin...!"
Clang!!!!
Just as I was about to start eating, I felt something blunt strike my head.
"Huh...?"
An arrow? It was an arrow.
Unfortunately for the archer, my skin density is tough enough to withstand bullets even without reinforcing it with holy power.
An arrow couldn't even leave a scratch on my skin.
However, because my skin and body are so tough, the arrow bounced off my head with a powerful recoil...
Crash!!!
It struck my earthenware pot. The pot flew out of my hands along with the arrow and shattered on the ground.
Naturally, the arrow's momentum hadn't decreased at all, pinning itself into the floor while the pot I bought yesterday shattered into pieces. The goblin head soup I had spent hours preparing was now being miserably absorbed into the dirt.
"........."
"........"
Gurgle!
Screech!
Skreeee!
After staring blankly at the broken pot, I heard noises in the distance.
It was the sound of goblins.
I thought I had killed them all, but they must have crawled out from somewhere like cockroaches.
May the god of variety shows bless our sister.
I burst out laughing during overtime because of you, and now everyone is looking at me weirdly...
Lol the mission failed but here's a donation anyway. I laughed so hard.
Although the chat and donations were exploding with laughter, I couldn't laugh at all.
My gaze remained fixed on the spilled soup.
I had spent hours preparing the ingredients, got help from a soup restaurant owner, boiled the broth, and bought a new pot. I had even blessed, healed, and purified the goblin head and meat with holy power so the viewers wouldn't find it disgusting, all before simmering it.
And it wasn't just any normal goblin meat.
It was a hobgoblin.
They aren't hard to kill, but finding one is extremely rare.
And now, the Mother of Earth was absorbing my hobgoblin head soup before I could even taste it.
'Gulp, that was delicious, Saintess.'
I felt like I could hear the Mother of Earth whispering in my head, satisfied.
".........."
Unable to hold back any longer, I stood up.
Miracle: Holy Body Descent
Crack!
With a slight twisting sensation in my spine, the flesh along my back began to boil. The bubbling flesh repeatedly regenerated and decayed, quickly forming massive, tentacle-like shapes. Sharp, snapping teeth lined the tentacles, clamoring in hunger.
It was far from a saintly appearance, but it was my favorite ability.
There was a certain contrasting charm to having grotesque, writhing flesh tentacles and teeth behind the beautiful, pure appearance of a saintess. Plus, it gave me extra limbs to work with.
"...Everyone, I'm sorry, but it seems we'll have to change today's broadcast from a mukbang to something else."
Snap, snap, snap!
The tentacles emerging from my waist began to snap their teeth, demanding food as if they had caught the scent of meat nearby.
And as their host, I twisted my lips in anger and hunger, glaring toward the source of the goblin noises.
"Today's broadcast is... a dungeon sweep. I trust you will understand."
1,000,000 won if you clear them all within 30 minutes.
However, I could no longer see the chat, the donations, or the missions.
My only thought was to chew off the head of the goblin that shot the arrow and ruined my meal.