The Black Mage Loves Fake Listings (1)
“Uh…”
For some reason, at that moment, Salamandine thought of Sargasso. The way he’d massage his temples every time the other Heavenly Kings said something. His body was made of materialized mana, so it wasn’t like rubbing his temples would actually ease a headache like it would for a human. She had no idea why he bothered with such a pointless gesture.
Now she got it. When you heard something frustrating and utterly ridiculous, you just wanted to do something, anything.
“Then why the hell are you going out of your way to meet that shady creep?”
Inian let out a soft huh and smiled. In truth, she’d already realized that Salamandine’s wariness toward Raban wasn’t because he was some beastly black mage unfit for human society. It was because the scam he’d explained to her last night had finally clicked.
‘Pretending to be a mascot, or something like that?’
“Because it’s a being that lets you connect directly to the highest-quality negative emotions in this city, sawayo.”
“…Don’t underestimate the mascots. They’re not something you can just overpower with brute strength.”
As expected, Inian’s true nature was that of an otherworldly monster. Salamandine slowly explained the mascots’ traits.
“They use magic that defies all norms, just like how they warped you into that form. Their mana source is unnatural from the ground up.”
“You mean that ‘Mother’ being, sawayo?”
“The way the Mother Fairy sources mana. She draws it from the dreams and hopes of people across the entire world, right?”
“…What kind of insane nonsense is that, sawayo?”
Inian was genuinely shocked. Black magic did harvest mana from emotions like pain and despair, but it wasn’t that simple. Black mages didn’t develop torture spells as a casual hobby. To boost the conversion rate from negative emotions to mana even slightly, you needed magically pure agony. And hatred had to be specific, vivid—targeted at a particular object—for the yield to be worthwhile.
Yet they claimed to extract enough mana from vague, fuzzy things like dreams and hopes to reshape the body of a demon lord? That was impossible without something like a brainwashing beam forcing humanity’s desires into a uniform shape. Or it would have to be some entirely new kind of magic that even demons, who meddled across countless worlds, had never witnessed.
“Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? But it’s true. Their power source is dreams and hopes, and the mana they generate from the sense of accomplishment after defeating a monster outweighs what they use to beat it—making it infinite energy or whatever.”
The demon lord wanted to clutch the back of her neck. What kind of karmic debt had that black mage scum Raban racked up to end up stranded in this dimension of all places?
“That’s why you need to be careful. The mascots you’ll face are insidious snakes slithering in the grass. Avoid negotiating if you can.”
“I still have to check out the counseling room, sawayo.”
“You sure about that?”
“The mascots’ protection is concentrated inside the school, right, sawayo?”
In other words, scout the students likely to harbor negative emotions, then strike outside where the mascots’ eyes couldn’t reach. Dine felt an inexplicable surge of disgust.
‘Is it because it’s such a cowardly tactic?’
“…Fine. Have it your way. Since I’m escorting you into a danger zone, I’ve got one request too.”
“What is it, sawayo?”
“Let’s meet after school. Like you said, outside, their fluffy gazes can’t reach us.”
Squish, squish. The two girls stood before the counseling room door.
Raban was brewing a perfect cup of black tea using his ever-improving skills at “borrowing” counseling room supplies. Normally, he’d only make enough for himself, grumbling and tossing out an extra cup only when a student whined, “Teacher, you’re the only one drinking?” But today was different.
Today’s peer counselor on duty was Nai Hyun.
“I Hyun-ah, here’s yours.”
“Huh? Didn’t you always carry your own herbal tea in a thermos, old man?”
“That’s for health. Gotta have proper tea sometimes too.”
“No wonder it tasted so bitter—it was health supplements?”
Nai Hyun gazed at Raban with the pitying look you’d give a stray dog. Raban shrugged and slid the tea toward her.
“Enjoy.”
“Not mine, so thank the school.”
As they chatted idly over sips of tea, Raban recalled Inian’s plan. Lure Salamandine here and extract her negative emotions—a brilliant reversal.
‘Good idea in theory, but no way an enemy exec walks right into the lion’s den…’
Footsteps echoed down the hall. Sounded like two people approaching.
Inian had actually brought Dine along. Raban was floored. How the hell did this work?
“What’s there?”
“Students here for counseling. Heard the footsteps outside.”
Nai Hyun nodded. Sharp ears for a guy chugging health supplements. No need to jump up and open the door—overly eager service could feel oppressively heavy to kids seeking counsel.
‘Most who come these days are just here to see the old man anyway, so probably fine.’
Nai Hyun waited languidly for the door to open.
“Pleased to meet you, sawayo.”
“The transfer student wanted to check out the counseling room, so I’m just showing her around.”
And the languor vanished the instant Dine stepped through the door.
Dine was one of the Ivory Tower’s Four Heavenly Kings.
‘What the hell is she doing here?!’
Meanwhile, Raban was just as thrown.
‘No way! Of all times for my prime negative-emotion supplier to show up, a Heavenly King decides to raid now!’
He’d figured Inian’s charm would fail nine times out of ten with Dine. But no—right when the Nai Hyun event popped up, she’d succeeded in reeling in a Heavenly King.
Raban’s mind raced.
“Oh, you’re that student from lunch. No tummy ache?”
Inian fought back a visceral rejection at Raban’s friendly tone but endured with demon-lord grit.
“Thanks to you, I ate well, sawayo.”
Raban smoothly pulled out teacups for them both.
“What brings you? Old man usually hates doing dishes, sticks to paper cups.”
“She’s a transfer student. Gotta be nice.”
Raban shrugged. Plausible small talk. On the surface, it was cheerful high-school banter.
Nai Hyun tensed at the sudden Heavenly King intruder. Dine tensed, unsure what the mascot was scheming. Raban tensed, dreading what the Heavenly King might do to Nai Hyun.
But Inian, the one who’d thrown them all into panic, savored the tea’s aroma with a smug I did it! grin.
“Ah, Dine.”
“Y-Yes…?”
Salamandine swallowed hard. Naturally, the mascot had clocked that “sawayo” tic as belonging to the Black Forest monster.
“Got a minute? There’s something I want to talk about.”
Interrogation about dragging a monster here? Dine inwardly clicked her tongue. You’re the ones who brought the monster to school.
“Of course.”
But inwardly was one thing; the act was another. Dine kept her cool and headed to the inner room.
Cold sweat beaded on Nai Hyun’s cheek. Dine played the diligent student well, but she was still a magical girl’s arch-nemesis—a Heavenly King. Who knew if the old man might suddenly turn monster and burst out.
Inian tilted her head at Nai Hyun sweating bullets.
“Something wrong, sawayo?”
“N-Noooothing?”
“You’re sweating a lot, sawayo.”
“It’s just my constitution!”
Nai Hyun wrenched her gaze from the inner room. She couldn’t transform and throw down with Dine right here. Shaking her head, she looked at Inian.
“We’re in the same class, right?”
“Yes, sawayo.”
Inian’s eyes scanned Nai Hyun. Indeed. Just as Raban said—dense negative emotions. While Raban hooked Salamandine inside, she’d rattle Nai Hyun a bit.
Click. The inner room door shut. Silence, cut off from the outside, filled the cramped space.
Salamandine glared ferociously at Raban.
“…I’m warning you first—I didn’t approach her. You saw it at lunch too.”
“Heavens, no. That’s not why I called you.”
“What?”
A flicker of confusion crossed Salamandine’s face.
“I’m not in charge of that. There’s a separate department for surveilling shady secret meetings.”
“What? Then why’d you summon me?”
“Do you remember Magi White’s ‘wish’?”
Her red eyes flashed. Fury, contempt, doubt, and some emotion Raban couldn’t place.
“That arrogant vow to befriend us? Ha. Impossible as long as she’s your mascot’s lackey.”
“I can’t ignore my magical girl’s wish, so I’ve arranged this private chat.”
“What?”
“Friendship starts with talk, doesn’t it? I doubt we can bridge the gap between the Ivory Tower and us easily, but debating the impossible before dreams and hopes is shameful.”
“What drivel. I’m leaving.”
As Salamandine rose and reached for the doorknob—
“If talk feels burdensome, think of it as a deal.”
Raban spoke in a silky tone.
“A deal?”
“Once a week. If you open up and share your thoughts.”
“Hmph. No matter what you offer, we won’t fall for—”
“I’ll share the Ochan detection alert with you all.”
Dine’s face twisted in shock. That meant…
“The shadow mage is still alive!?”
“Unfortunately. The alligator beast didn’t devour him completely.”
Raban shrugged. As expected, that’d hook her. The Ivory Tower’s Heavenly Kings had swallowed their pride to propose an alliance against the shadow mage. News that the monster panicking both magical girls and the Tower hadn’t fully perished? They’d come running in terror.
‘Alive? Right in front of your eyes, breathing.’