Welcome, Customer (Please Kill Me)
“Okay, try it again♡”
Mina flashed a bright smile and blew a kiss.
“Welcome, dear customer~”
“Please kill me, dear customer.”
“Hey! Can’t you do it properly?!”
“…Wel…come… dear customer…”
I genuinely wanted to die.
“Oselot… Appraisal Shop… at your service…”
“Yes♡ That’s it! You look absolutely adorable?!”
“Fuck…”
I stared into the large mirror placed beside the display shelves.
Inside it stood Nixie Oselot, dressed in a maid outfit, staring blankly back at me.
This can’t possibly be real…
The cat-ear-shaped ribbon decoration. Not to mention the exposed shoulders.
A wave of shame that felt like it was digging into my flesh washed over me.
Ding-ling—
“Hey there, Mina. You open for business?”
Today’s first customer pushed open the door and stepped inside.
Judging by Mina’s expression, he was a regular.
“Oh, welcome! What are you here to have appraised today?”
“Uh, nothing special… and……”
His gaze locked onto me where I stood in front of the display shelves.
“…What the hell is this cute thing?”
My blood pressure spiked.
“What did you just—”
“Nixie Oselot.”
Mina looked at me and smiled coldly.
I could feel the killing intent.
“Didn’t I teach you how to greet customers?”
“……”
I clenched both fists tightly, forced the most gentle smile I could manage, and spoke.
“Wel…come, dear customer…!”
“Kgh… So cuuuute!!!”
The man’s face flushed bright red.
Please, stop making that face.
Inside this body is a dirty old man who’s thirty-five years old, you know.
Ding-ling— Ding-ling—
“Mina, take a look at this longsword for me!”
“You’re opening a bit late today. Oversleep?”
After that, customers poured in one after another.
Every single one of their reactions was identical to the first guy’s.
“Huh…?”
“Whoa. Is that a new assistant?”
Their eyes widened instantly.
“The shop’s whole vibe just got way better. She’s seriously pretty.”
“Hey, if you’re free tonight, want to grab a beer?”
“Ah, haha……”
I forced a smile and gradually played along with their teasing.
Mina simply watched from behind, barely holding back her laughter while glaring at me.
This is way too much, isn’t it…!!!
I curse you, Mina Oselot.
I am Nix Grave.
I’m not the kind of man who sits quietly after suffering this kind of humiliation.
But I had no choice.
I was in no position to be picky right now, so I had to swallow this shame and repay the debt I owed Mina.
“I heard a super pretty part-timer started working here?”
“Whoa, Mina. Who’s that girl? Someone you know?”
“Look at those pale shoulders… hehehe……”
Whether they knew what was going on inside me or not, the shop was five or six times busier than usual.
And the customers who showed up were anything but ordinary.
“Hey, see those guys sitting in the corner?”
When I subtly gestured with my eyes from behind the counter, Mina glanced over.
“Oh. Those are information agents from Black Star Morgana.”
“And the ones next to them are Midas lackeys.”
The equipment they were carrying.
Even someone like me, who knew nothing about appraisal, could tell they were nothing but worthless scraps of junk.
So they’re observing me.
It was probably because of all those gift boxes that had been pouring into Mina’s shop since yesterday.
They were here to see whether I’d opened the gifts or if I was wavering toward any particular guild’s offer.
These bastards can smell money like bloodhounds.
I’d stuffed all the boxes into the basement storage of Mina’s house.
Without opening a single one.
“I’m not an idiot. I’m definitely not using them.”
“Sure, sure. What a stubborn one you are.”
And then, the shop door opened once again.
Along with the familiar chime of the bell, a familiar face appeared.
“N-Nixie…?”
It was Lucia.
Her gaze fixed on me standing in front of the display shelves.
…Wearing the maid outfit.
“Nix…ie…”
The staff she was holding slipped from her fingers and clattered to the floor.
Clack. Roll.
Lucia’s face turned tomato-red in an instant.
Her large, round eyes scanned my entire body.
“You’re… so cute…!”
“What?!”
“You look just like a doll! Like a noble young lady!”
She eventually covered her mouth with both hands and let out a scream.
And Mina, who had been watching the entire scene, collapsed onto the floor and burst into roaring laughter.
“Ahahaha! Did you hear that, Nixie? She said you look like a doll! A doll! Ahahahahaha!!!!”
I hung my head low.
I covered my face so no one would see the tips of my reddened ears peeking through my hair.
“…Fuck.”
A short curse slipped from my lips.
“I survived…”
The long day had finally come to an end.
I flipped the “Closed” sign on the shop door and locked it tight.
“Mina… I’ll never forgive you…”
I slammed my forehead against the counter and let out a long sigh.
The sensation of the dress hem dragging across the floor still grated on my nerves.
Lucia had collapsed like she’d fainted onto the chair beside me.
“So… tired…”
Her face was exhausted from helping with customer service.
The beads of sweat on her forehead told the full story of her grueling day.
“Good work, my cute little assistants.”
Mina walked out from the kitchen carrying a tray.
“Today’s business was an absolute jackpot. Can I ask you two to help again next time?”
“No…”
“Me neither…”
She grinned and set the tray down on the counter.
On it were muffins piled high with white cream and plenty of chocolate cookies.
Lucia’s eyes sparkled instantly.
“Waaah…! Looks delicious…”
She reflexively grabbed a cookie and popped it into her mouth.
“Mmm… mmmph…!!! I-it’s so good…!!!”
With her cheeks puffed out like a hamster, Lucia wore an utterly blissful expression.
Then Mina shoved a muffin right in front of my nose.
“You eat one too. Nothing beats something sweet when you’re tired.”
“No thanks. I hate sweet stuff.”
I, Nix Grave, absolutely refuse sweet foods.
“Just bring me a cold beer. I’m dying of thirst.”
“Hate it all you want. You’re eating it anyway.”
But Mina was persistent.
She roughly pushed a piece of muffin between my lips.
“Mmph…!! I said I won’t—”
I reflexively tried to spit it out.
…But something was strange.
“—Mmm… nom… nom nom……”
For some reason, the sweet cream and moist bread texture went down without any resistance today.
“…It’s good.”
“Right? Your big sis put her heart and soul into making these.”
“…Maybe I do like sweet things.”
Or perhaps this body had a constitution that went crazy for desserts.
My soul was that of a thirty-five-year-old explorer, yet my body was a pretty girl whose brain flooded with dopamine at the sight of dessert…
“…Can I have another one?”
“Ufufu, eat as many as you like.”
Mina rested her chin on her hand, smiling sweetly as she watched me.
“Want some cocoa too?”
I swallowed the muffin in my mouth and clung to the last shred of my pride.
“Give me some.”
For about two seconds?
But what could I do when my brain wanted it?
A person should be true to their instincts.
…Or so I tried to comfort myself for a moment.
Mina smiled brightly and handed me a warm cup of cocoa.
I wrapped both hands around the mug and took a sip.
It felt like my whole body was melting.
“It’s really good.”
“…Shut up.”
I ignored Mina’s mischievous teasing, sipped my cocoa, and changed the subject.
“By the way, did you hear what the customers were talking about earlier?”
“What about?”
“Signs of a flood. They were hoping some decent artifacts would drop on the city outskirts during this flood.”
Mina’s previously calm eyes grew slightly heavier.
“Ah… So hunting season is already coming around again.”
Lucia, who had been diligently munching cookies beside us, tilted her head.
“H-hunting season? What’s that, Miss Nixie?”
“You don’t know? Have you not been here that long?”
“Um… I’ve been here about a year, though.”
“Ah. Then it makes sense you might not know.”
I set down my mug and showed off the knowledge befitting a fifteen-year veteran.
“Labyrinth floods happen every two years. It’s basically… a kind of self-purification process.”p>
The natural healing ability of the labyrinth to break down and purify contaminants, returning itself to its original clean state.
“Self-purification?”
“Yeah. There are periods when the monster population inside the labyrinth explodes. The ones that lose the territorial fights get forced up to the higher floors.”
I pointed at the floor with my finger.
“As a result, the overflowing monsters from the upper layers break through the black gates or weakened cracks throughout the city and crawl out of the labyrinth.”
She nodded with a slightly frightened expression.
“That’s why during hunting season, the number of mandatory subjugation requests issued by the guilds increases dozens of times over.”
It was dangerous, but for bottom-tier explorers, it was also a chance to strike it rich in one go.
Mina crossed her arms and added quietly.
“The appearance of a harpy original species on the first floor not long ago was most likely an omen of the coming flood.”
“I thought so too, but……”
I could somewhat accept that, yet the uneasy feeling refused to go away.
The appearance of a sixth-floor harpy original species on the first floor was completely unprecedented.
Not to mention the abnormal mutation of the second-floor venom ant that had twelve cores.
And the poison hounds that normally only appeared in the deep zones of the second floor showing up in the third sector.
“There are simply too many things that defy common sense to write it off as just a simple flood……”
Just as my thoughts began to spiral, I heard it.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The sound of someone lightly knocking on the shop door.
Mina frowned and walked toward the entrance.
“We’re already closed for the day~ If you’re a customer, please come back tomorrow morning……”
Before Mina could even undo the lock, the door slowly began to open inward.
Creeeeak—
A unique, fragrant scent of grass mixed with the breeze that flowed through the gap.
“Huh…?”
“…You are…?”
The moment we saw who had entered, both Mina and I froze in place.
A small figure wearing a green silk robe.
Shoulders hunched as if frightened, fingers fidgeting nervously.
“…Hello.”
The S-rank representative of Green Star Gaia and the Priest of the Root.
It was Iris Belforest.
“No… What brings someone as esteemed as you to such a humble place……”
Without thinking, I bowed deeply and used the most respectful tone I could muster.
Mina, standing beside me, mercilessly smacked me on the back.
Smack—!
“Ow! What the hell!”
“Humble?! What’s so humble about it?! This is the fairly prestigious Oselot Appraisal Shop, I’ll have you know!”
Mina glared at me, fuming.
I rubbed my stinging back and grumbled.
“You could’ve just said it with words. Why’d you have to hit me……”
Iris, who had been watching our childish squabble, shrank her shoulders and lowered her head.
“…This place has a very comforting atmosphere.”
Her voice was as thin as a mosquito’s buzz.
But the aura she gave off was unmistakably that of an S-rank.
Lucia had already glued herself to the corner of the table, barely daring to breathe.
To ordinary low-rank explorers, S-ranks were godlike beings they couldn’t even dream of meeting.
I straightened my clothes roughly and asked.
“Miss Iris. What brings you here?”
Iris pulled out a small green leaf ornament from her sleeve and fiddled with it.
“The Guardian Star… asked me to deliver a message.”
“The Guardian Star?”
That mysterious entity called the Guardian Star had something to tell me?
Suddenly, it felt like the temperature in the room had dropped sharply.
“Wait a second. Like I said last time, what exactly is this Guardian Star……”
“Nixie. Shh.”
Mina covered my mouth and whispered quietly.
“Huu……”
Iris took a deep breath and slowly closed her eyes.
The flow of mana around us began to ripple strangely.
And then—
“What a strange child.”
“Ugh…!!! So… heavy…!!!”
“N-Nixie…!!! What is this…?!”
“Kghhh…!!! Mina… sis! Nix…ie…!!!”
An overwhelming pressure bore down on our bodies.
We couldn’t even breathe.
This was different from when we faced Kamiris of the Red Flame.
It was heavier.
No—an overwhelming mana that even she could not approach.
It opened its mouth once more.
“A child who struggles to reclaim what was lost.”
“……!!”
Her timid atmosphere evaporated in an instant.
It felt as if she had become an entirely different person.
“You possess the roots of a human, yet you breathe the breath of the labyrinth.”
“……?”
Possess the roots of a human yet breathe the breath of the labyrinth.
What on earth did that mean?
“The day we stand together is something I look forward to.”
And right after that.
Shuuuuuuuuuu———
The transcendent weight that had been crushing the room receded like the tide.
“Haa…!! Haa…!!!”
I clutched the wall and gasped for air.
“Haa, haa…!”
“Hng…!!! Haaaa……”
Both Lucia and Mina beside me were on their hands and knees, shoulders heaving.
The bizarre resonant sound that had scraped at our eardrums had vanished without a trace.
What the hell was that just now…
Could it be that the Guardian Star called Gaia had descended using Iris’s body as a medium?
Just what was the intention behind going to such lengths just to meet me?
“……Ah.”
Iris slowly opened her eyes.
Life gradually returned to her previously unfocused dark eyes.
She stared blankly at her own palm for a moment, then lifted her head and looked straight at me.
“…This has never happened before.”
“What…?”
“This is the first time Gaia has manifested directly through my body.”
She quietly studied my face and body.
Her eyes were thick with unconcealable reverence and fear.
“Just… what kind of person are you?”
I couldn’t give her any answer.
My mind had gone completely blank. I could only stare blankly into Iris’s dark eyes.