Where Did My Dick Go?
The sky over Labyrinth City Astaroth was gray today, just like every other day.
It was because of the magical residue that leaked from beyond the Black Gate, pooling in the air like clouds.
Black Gate Square—the entrance leading into the labyrinth.
Right beside it, tens of thousands of paper slips clung to the massive black gate, fluttering weakly in the wind.
Every single one carried the same predictable wishes.
Strike it rich.
Restore lost honor.
Cure a family member's illness.
Bring a lover back from the dead.
Fifteen years ago, I had added my own slip of paper there too.
Now I could barely even remember what I'd written.
It was probably rotting away in some corner, moldy and forgotten.
+++++
Inside the labyrinth, in the Poison Mist Forest.
I crossed the boundary between Sector 2 and Sector 3 of the second stratum with practiced ease.
The air grew hazy in the distance.
“Looks like the poison mist is about to roll in.”
The mist enveloping the entire forest was laced with deadly neurotoxins.
My wallet didn't allow for the luxury of purification potions.
Instead, I pressed a pre-soaked towel over my mouth.
This was how a D-rank explorer survived.
Using your body instead of expensive gear.
‘Today’s goal is two hundred silver coins.’
The Midas Financial Union’s interest repayment deadline was right around the corner.
If I didn't come up with the money today, I'd be out on the street tomorrow.
“Labyrinth entry tax? What a load of bullshit. Slapping taxes on top of everything. Those Midas bastards are real pieces of shit.”
No money? You can't enter the labyrinth.
Can't enter the labyrinth? You can't pay the interest.
Can't pay the interest? You starve to death.
A fatal vicious cycle.
Astaroth wasn't a city where dreams came true.
It was a slaughterhouse that slowly chewed up and devoured humans enslaved by their own desires.
That was when I heard a rustling sound up ahead.
“…A Poison Plant?”
I adjusted my grip on the worn dagger at my waist.
Rustle.
A Poison Plant extended its stem from between the tree roots.
I lowered my stance and slipped past the stem.
Slice!
The dagger cleanly severed the plant's base.
The green sap that burst out corroded the ground.
I immediately leaped backward, preparing for the next attack.
Every movement had to be efficient.
To survive this hellish labyrinth, mana management was essential.
I had no talent.
It would've been nice if I could use skills freely, but I'd sealed away my unique skill, , a long time ago.
An A-rank rare skill.
When I first awakened it, I thought my life had completely turned around.
The ability to copy other people's skills?
I wasn't the protagonist of some novel, but still.
But.
“What’s the point of copying them if I don't have the mana to use them?”
Thanks to that, I never got to touch high-grade skills. Even using a mid-grade body reinforcement skill made me feel like my heart was about to explode from the pain.
And so I spent fifteen years scraping the bottom as the 'Explorer Without Skills.'
Still, what could I do?
If I wanted to keep food in my mouth, I had to endure with sheer grit and spite.
+++++
I pushed through the poison mist and ventured deeper into the forest.
My current location was Sector 3 of the second stratum.
Normally I would have avoided this area, but today an eerie sight unfolded before me.
The mist was parting on both sides, forming a path.
It looked like an artificial corridor, as if inviting someone in.
In the fifteen years I'd been coming in and out of this forest, I'd never seen anything like it.
‘It’s a trap.’
In the labyrinth, seeing something for the first time was practically synonymous with death.
“Today’s harvest hasn’t been bad. Maybe I should just call it quits here?”
But then the image of the Midas debt contract flashed through my mind.
I had to pay eight hundred silver coins this month alone.
That was eight gold coins.
A few bundles of poisonous herbs wouldn't even make a dent.
If there was even a single gold coin at the end of this dangerous path, my life could be extended by a few more days.
“…Damn it.”
I gripped the dagger tightly.
What scared me more than danger was the poverty waiting for me tomorrow.
“Fine. Let’s go. If it gets dangerous, I can just run.”
With that, I cautiously stepped into the parted mist.
+++++
At the end of the path lay a quiet clearing.
In the center sat a single old chest engraved with faded patterns.
I couldn't sense any monsters or traps near it.
At first glance, it might seem safe, but in the labyrinth, that usually meant it was even more suspicious.
“Anyone can see this is a trap.”
I stopped three meters away from the chest.
Based on fifteen years of experience rolling around in the labyrinth, the smart move was to leave it alone.
I'd seen too many colleagues who tried to check the contents and ended up melting into liquid.
I had no desire to join them.
“Ugh, what a waste of time.”
I turned around to head back the way I came.
That was when it happened.
“Grrrrrrr…”
An unpleasant sound came from beyond the mist.
A wet, phlegmy growl.
It wasn't just one or two.
This cry definitely belonged to…
“Poison Hounds?!”
Three pairs of violet eyes glowed within the mist.
“Shit!”
They really were Poison Hounds.
But why the hell were they here?
These monsters were supposed to live deep in the second stratum!
“Grrrrr…”
“Krrrk…! Krrrrk!!!”
Three Poison Hounds closed in, tightening their encirclement.
There was nowhere to run.
Behind me was a thicket that might as well have been a cliff, and in front were the monsters.
“…God damn it! I knew I shouldn't have come in here!”
I swallowed hard and took a combat stance.
Poison Hounds.
If it was just one, even a D-rank like me might have a chance. But three? That was crossing the line.
My instincts screamed that I might die a dog's death here.
“But I’m not going down without a fight!!”
The first one kicked off the ground and leaped at me.
I thrust my dagger up under its jaw.
Squish—!
At the same time, I twisted my body, narrowly avoiding its venomous claws.
With a yelp, one hound tumbled across the ground.
But the other two charged at me simultaneously.
I hurriedly activated .
A memory from several years ago flashed through my mind—the low-grade sword skill that I'd stolen from a C-rank explorer.
I forcibly squeezed out the mana pooled inside my body to trigger the skill.
Pain like my entire body was being shredded washed over me.
Still, it was far better than dying like a dog.
Whoosh!
The dagger sliced through the air and severed a hound’s throat.
“Ugh… damn it!”
The price was steep.
My mana bottomed out, and my whole body felt as heavy as lead.
“Grrrrr!!!”
The last hound opened its maw toward my face.
But I no longer had the strength to dodge.
“Fuck!!!”
And then, the entire world began to slow down.
Ah, so this is that thing people talk about before they die. The flashback or whatever.
Those teeth are definitely going to hurt.
Like, hurt enough to kill me.
Actually, I might just die outright.
Is that why I’m seeing this?
“What a shitty life. Never thought it’d end here.”
That was the moment.
The chest behind me opened with an unpleasant noise and poured out a mechanical voice.
“…What?”
Immediately after, something alien shot out of the chest with a popping sound.
It looked like a black orb, or maybe a human pupil. Whatever it was, it burrowed into my body at terrifying speed.
Shwooo—!
“Wh-what the hell?!”
I didn’t even have time to think.
A burning pain suddenly erupted in my chest.
My breath caught in my throat and my mind grew feverishly hot.
And then the same mechanical voice I’d heard from the chest rang inside my head.
“Wha… what?!”
In that instant, explosive energy erupted from within my body.
My vision sharpened.
Mana I thought had run dry now surged through my entire being.
‘What the hell is happening?!’
The Poison Hound lunging for my throat suddenly moved in slow motion.
It was practically frozen.
‘I don’t know what caused this, but I’m not missing this chance.’
I kicked off the ground and leaped, slamming my foot directly into the top of its head.
“Dieeeeee!!!!!”
Crackkkkk!!!!
The sensation of its skull shattering traveled up my leg.
One hit.
A level of power I could never have imagined as a D-rank.
“Haa… haa… What the hell just happened?”
I panted heavily as I looked down at the monsters sprawled across the ground.
“…Is this the power of the crest?”
A crest.
A top-grade passive skill that even B-rank explorers and above rarely ever saw in their lifetime.
And now I was using such an absurd skill.
“…I don’t know what’s going on, but at least I survived.”
But that relief didn’t last long.
“…Soul output values? Flaw in the vessel? What the hell does that mean?”
Thump!
“…Ugh…!!!”
My heart suddenly began pounding like it would burst.
This wasn’t the usual pain from overusing mana.
It felt like my bones and flesh were being torn apart and reassembled.
<………>
“Kr… AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
A scream tore out of me.
The agony of my body curling inward.
Crunch! Crackle!
The sound of bones being shaved down rang in my ears.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”
And so, lost in excruciating pain and confusion, I lost consciousness.
+++++
How much time had passed?
The cold forest mist tickled my cheek.
‘…What? Did I pass out for a bit?’
I slowly lifted my heavy eyelids.
The clearing was quiet.
The chest had shattered into pieces, and the area around it was littered with the corpses of Poison Hounds.
‘Damn it… what the hell happened?’
I staggered to my feet.
“…What? Why does it feel like this?”
Something felt off.
The leather armor I was wearing felt loose.
My field of vision was about a handspan lower than usual.
“…And what’s wrong with my voice?”
I was startled by the sound that came out of my own mouth.
It was a thin, delicate girl’s voice.
With trembling hands, I felt my body.
My hands were small.
My skin was smooth.
And on my chest…
Had my chest always had this kind of curve…?
“…???!!!?!”
Like a madman, I shoved my trembling hand between my legs.
“…It’s gone.”
All I felt was smooth skin.
The big, magnificent thing that had once been there had vanished without a trace.
“What the… where did it go…!!!”
My pride.
My dignity.
My life.
My best friend who had been with me for thirty-five years.
“Fuck! Where the hell did my dick gooooooooo!!!!!”