The Value of a Life
“A picture...?”
“Yes, a picture. Do you think that’s out of nowhere?”
Judging by that sly expression, she wasn’t really asking because she didn’t know.
Just from the way she said we should learn to paint together, I could roughly guess what the princess was thinking.
It was a childish idea, but she must have thought that doing the same thing would make us close, so she’d brought it up.
“I suppose so.”
But people didn’t come to understand one another just because they shared the same actions.
That was the truth of it.
If simply doing the same things were enough to understand each other, then in my past life I should have been close to my younger sister, and if not then, I should at least have been close to someone in this life.
We didn’t need to be the sort of people who could read each other’s hearts; even a simple exchange of concern should have been possible.
When I’d flown into a rage, torn all my clothes apart, and starved myself, someone should have worried.
The maids did that much for one another when their periods came.
But I had never had anything like that.
Even if we shared the same thing, I wouldn’t have that kind of bond with her, and I could say with certainty that the princess and I would never have it either.
“Hmm. Yes, I can see why you’d think that. But I hope you’ll understand that I’m making the effort because I hold you in high regard.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you were the sort of person who carelessly begged to be killed, I would have had no intention of taking your life. Really, what sort of life would it be, wasting mine to bear the burden of some spoiled child’s existence?”
“That’s absurd. A normal person would do anything to live even a little longer.”
“Then it seems royalty doesn’t count as normal people.”
“......”
“Haha. You look disappointed. It was meant to be a joke, you know.”
“Sigh.”
“Politically speaking, I’m weighing my life against the price Blium House would owe me. Honestly, it’s a delicate matter. No matter how valuable a royal’s life may be, Blium House is one of the four great houses of our Poltia Empire, so taking the lives of two heirs from that house would be a little too heavy a burden.”
“Ah.”
That did make sense.
“Even if a princess isn’t counted among the heirs, once I’ve killed one, I’ll still need to offer something in return. Loyalty only exists when repayment follows. And among all possible methods, the most valuable and the simplest is marriage.”
“To one of the princes and the princess...?”
“Yes. Marriage to royalty. I’d need to bear at least three children.”
“......”
“A woman born into the royal family can’t avoid an arranged marriage. I know that well enough. No matter which sex I’m attracted to, I’ll marry a man and bear two or three children. Still, if I married this way, it would be difficult for me to take a concubine. I’d have to live my whole life giving up love.”
The princess spoke with complete indifference about being a lesbian, about killing me, and about what would happen if she were forced to marry as compensation.
Her brazenness left me speechless for a moment, but if I thought about it, it wasn’t actually so strange.
Marriage into the royal family meant entering the very heart of this country’s power.
Whether one could make use of that was another matter, but it would certainly open a secure path, and if the princess merely gave birth to heirs, whether she dated someone else or not probably wouldn’t matter much.
That would have been the case if this were an ordinary marriage.
If the princess took my life and then used a potion made from a Lump of Flesh—nothing but a mass of flesh that spewed healing magic—to restore me, then she wouldn’t be able to take a concubine.
No, concubines were only an example; what she meant was that it would become difficult for her to take part in the family’s affairs.
Even if she wouldn’t be reduced to being used outright, she would still owe the house a debt.
And that debt would only grow if the princess continued to shine ever more beautifully.
Something like, We spared this person’s life, so pay us back even more.
If she failed to live well, then she wouldn’t be worth the price of a prince’s life; if she did live well, then they would say she’d been saved at the family’s sacrifice, so this was only fitting.
Her life would be held hostage.
It was exactly the kind of situation the princess had described.
“If I believed I’d taken the life of someone worth that much, then I’d accept that sort of life. Besides, personal freedom would still be sufficiently guaranteed, and I’d still be able to do my current work of patronizing artists, so as long as I can bow my head and make a few unhappy appeals to others, I can manage that much. Though if the princess isn’t as beautiful a person as I think she is...”
“Then I’ll regret my choice for the rest of my life, and I’d hate a life like that.”
“You’re wise for your age, Princess.”
...It was an understandable explanation.
It was clearly the sort of thing that would decide the rest of her life, so of course she had to be careful.
And even if she survived, if the quality of that life turned to absolute filth, then surviving wouldn’t really count as living.
“I understand now how important this choice is to you, Princess.”
“Do you?”
“But is it really all right to solve something like that with a painting? I’ve never drawn a picture in my life.”
If I included my past life, I had drawn things in school art class, but even my notebooks had needed to serve as study aids for my younger sister, so I’d never even doodled in the margins.
And it wasn’t as if I had any talent, so if someone told me to paint, I was certain I wouldn’t even be able to draw a straight line properly.
And naturally, I couldn’t possibly paint the picture the princess wanted.
There was no way I could persuade her.
When I stared at her as if to say she knew that very well, the princess let out a small laugh and patted my head, saying she wasn’t asking for that much.
“Even adults find that difficult if they don’t have talent. What I’m trying to do is understand the way you see the world.”
“The way I understand the world?”
“Yes. Art must contain a way of living.”
“Is that so?”
“Let me give you a precise painting as an example. Can you look at a military operation and think it’s pretty, or beautiful? Ah, well, in a typical military operation the target is a fortress or a nest of monsters, so perhaps you’d think it was grand, or something like that?”
“If I were a soldier, I don’t think I’d think that.”
“Exactly. No matter how realistically it’s painted, all you feel from it is that it’s useful, or something like that. The way the painter understands that scene is nothing more than how to kill what must be killed while keeping casualties to a minimum, so that’s only natural. But what if the same scene were painted with absolute realism by someone who had gone there to admire the castle?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Right. Unlike the scout’s painting, you wouldn’t know. That’s what I mean. If an adventurer felt the castle was beautiful, then even with the same brushstrokes the painting would turn out differently. When dozens, hundreds of those lines gather together, they become a picture—but would the feeling be the same? Even if the composition were identical, it would feel different.”
“Hmm...”
“And if you talk about and share those differences, you can get a rough sense of what kind of person the other is.”
“So that’s why people sponsor artists while paying absurd amounts of money?”
“Haha! Well, that too. And money laundering, of course.”
“The royal family helps launder money?”
“Because we’re royalty, we can. It’s legal money laundering through the tax office. The royal family gets useful information from the dust on nobles’ robes, and the nobles get to receive bribes legally.”
“......You keep the details secret?”
“Well, yes. No one knows exactly who received what. But...”
“It would depend on whose painting was bought. If it’s a painting meant for processing bribes rather than decorating an interior, then you’d buy the patronized artist’s work.”
“You really don’t act like a child at all.”
The princess smiled and stroked my hair.
As I walked beside her, blinking at her touch, I asked what sort of information could even be gleaned from a conversation like this, and after looking at me for a moment, the princess smiled and answered.
“Well, for one thing, I can tell you’re not pretending to be kind because you don’t know any better.”
“...Was I acting kind? All I can remember in front of you, Princess, is having a fit and threatening to kill Blium House’s servants.”
“That was because Blium broke its promise, wasn’t it? They told you for ten years that you were born to be killed, raised you telling you to die, and then suddenly said you must live your whole life carrying the curse. It wouldn’t be strange to get angry. I’m tolerant enough to understand that much.”
“......”
“And if you were truly an evil person, you’d simply commit a crime. If you did something worthy of execution, then no matter what Blium did to cover it up, you’d still die. But you didn’t do that.”
The princess looked at me quietly with her blue eyes.
“That doesn’t mean you’re so ignorant that you can’t even imagine doing wrong. You’ve been shut away for ten years, and yet you still have the wit to bring up money laundering and the like right away. Whether that’s because of the curse or something else... What matters is that even with that knowledge, you still don’t do evil things.”
“So what kind of person am I, then?”
“I don’t know. But I do know what you don’t do. Not because whatever you did would be swept away by Blium anyway, and not because you’re refusing evil for some grand reason—but because you choose not to do it of your own will. That much, I know. And that’s enough. You are not a villain. Just a child who wants to die, isn’t that right?”