There Are Different Kinds of Losing Consciousness
There are different kinds of losing consciousness. Falling asleep is one form, and passing out is another. Losing your reason in a surge of intense emotion, your vision turning white—that could be called losing consciousness too, if you think about it. When Ma Yu-hyeon's spear pierced my side and I vomited blood, I lost consciousness as well. My eyes closed softly, as if drifting off to sleep, and then awareness vanished completely. It was a terribly sweet, seductive slumber. Since the Holy War, I hadn't slept so deeply or peacefully. Not even dreams came.
"Ugh, ack...!"
"Mom, you scared me!"
I jolted awake with a scream. I had no idea where I was, how much time had passed, or how I'd even fallen asleep. I shot up, whipping my head around. I was lying in some tent, and beside me sat an unfamiliar teacher staring at me in bewilderment. From her attire, she seemed to be a healing priest. She looked vaguely familiar, maybe from the infirmary.
The healing priest pressed a hand to her chest, closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then spoke. "You startled me. Screaming like that out of nowhere..."
"Where am I?" I cut her off without listening.
She looked at me like I was some weirdo. "Where? This is the temporary healing station. We set it up to treat students injured during the exam."
She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Healing station?
"What about the exam?"
"It's over. You were fine just a bit ago—why the sudden freakout? You even walked in here on your own two feet."
"Fine just a bit ago... Wait, the exam's over?"
"Yeah? It's been done for a while now."
I glanced at my wrist. The electronic watch I'd worn for the exam was gone. Peering through a gap in the tent flap, I saw outside. The blazing sun I'd seen before blacking out was nowhere in sight. Only faint traces of its glow lingered scattered in the sky. It was somewhere between evening and night.
"What about the others?" I asked the healing priest as I scrambled to my feet.
She eyed me curiously. "The other students? Either getting treated here or waiting on the buses. Ah, they might be about to head out."
"I'll go. Thanks."
"Huh? No need to rush. Another bus is coming soon..."
I ignored her and bolted from the tent. I took a deep breath. The summer night air was thick and heavy. Far off, bus headlights shone like beacons. Like a lost ship, I followed the light blindly. I had to get on a bus quick. I didn't even know which one. I'd forgotten the assigned vehicle number. Among the throng of students boarding, I spotted Jeong In-ah. She stared at me blankly, then averted her eyes awkwardly and hurried onto a bus. I boarded the same one. We'd come on it together, so following her should be fine. Even if it was the wrong bus, no big deal. Even if that wasn't Jeong In-ah but some other girl, it wouldn't matter. I had one goal right now.
Ma Yu-hyeon.
I had to find Ma Yu-hyeon.
"Knew it was you, Cult Leader."
*
Jeong In-ah boarded the same bus she'd taken to get here, sat in the same seat she'd used on the way, and stared blankly out the window just like before. Well, staring out the window was pretty much all she could do. Do Seon-woo was sitting next to her.
"......"
The bus was quiet. No one opened their mouth. The spark in the kids' eyes that had burned so fiercely before the exam was gone. Part of it was exhaustion from the test itself, and part was the unsettled mood from whatever had gone down during it. While checking headcounts and tallying tokens after the exam ended, Ha Ye-jin and Kim Bok-dong—along with two students from Patience Class—had been loaded into ambulances. No one knew exactly what happened, but the kids figured it couldn't be good.
"Satanists came for revenge..."
"What loyalty do Satanists have? It was probably just..."
"Why bring that up again? Can we drop it now...?"
Some guessed it was Satanists again. Since one who'd caused a ruckus at Florence had been executed, maybe others came for payback... A few kids spun wild theories excitedly, while others cringed at the mere mention of Satanists. Florence students were worn out. Too many threats in too short a time.
While the kids chattered on their own, Jeong In-ah kept her mouth shut. She didn't want to think anymore. She'd gotten through the practical exam decently enough, and with that, testing was done. Time to rest a bit.
"......"
But the guy next to her nagged at her mind. He'd definitely betrayed her during the exam. Still, that was in the exam. Looking back, it wasn't worth getting mad over. No need to drag it up now and stir up pointless conflict after the test. That would be... too immature.
So, forget the exam stuff. The problem was Do Seon-woo's condition—it was off. Not good, not bad. His eyes were open, but he might as well have been asleep; he didn't stir. His breathing was so faint he looked on the verge of death. She'd hoped he'd speak first, but he seemed in no state for it.
As always, Jeong In-ah playfully punched his shoulder with her fist. "Hey. Got nothing to say to me?"
She asked gruffly on purpose. A bit of teasing might lighten the awkward air.
No reply.
After a long silence, feeling a tad hurt, she pouted and glared at him.
"......Huh?"
Do Seon-woo finally responded, sensing her gaze. If you could call it that. His voice held no emotion, no meaning. That emptiness saddened her. Right now, he wasn't even registering her feelings.
"......"
She almost got annoyed at his attitude but reined herself in. She wasn't considering his mood either. She'd been focused on her own feelings, subtly scolding him. Maybe that's why he looked down.
"Hey."
She mustered her courage and spoke. Expecting him to read her mind was selfish and childish. If you don't say it, they won't know. If you're upset, say it straight—that's best for both.
"Honestly, I was kinda pissed earlier. You tricked me."
"......"
"But I messed up too. It was the exam and all, but I made it obvious I was mad... Still, I really was upset."
She paused there. He needed time to think of a response.
Silence stretched for seconds, minutes. No words passed, just the awkward hush from their first meeting.
"......Just... yeah."
She broke it with something meaningless. No reply again. She turned to the window. Too dark to see anything.
"Who am I even talking to..."
She muttered petulantly. No answer, of course. Thinking back, aside from that first time when he'd suddenly spilled his family story, Do Seon-woo had rarely opened up. Never about his mood or worries—not even small talk. Usually, she'd start, and he'd chime in.
Suddenly, she recalled sitting alone on that secluded school bench, stargazing together. She gazed at the sky beyond the window. Pitch black. No stars, no moon.
"......"
Maybe we're not as close as I thought, Jeong In-ah mused abruptly. I thought we were friends, but maybe he doesn't see me that way. That subtle distance I've always felt... maybe that's why.
Who knew.
*
On the bus, Jeong In-ah talked to me. What did she say? I don't remember. Maybe I didn't hear. My head was filled with Loa voices—Legba's, Baron Samedi's, Granbwa's, Bosu's, Sobo's, Bade's, Dan Wedo's, Marinette's, Damballa's... At first, I could tell them apart, know who was saying what. But eventually, it all blurred—who was who, what they meant. No way Jeong In-ah's words could get through. I couldn't even track my own thoughts.
Just one: Find Ma Yu-hyeon. And a familiar dread, like something I'd endured before, flooding my mind with anxiety and terror.
Suddenly the bus stopped. I got off and wandered aimlessly, searching for him. Visibility was poor. Everyone's faces looked melted, blurry.
Thud.
"Do Seon-woo?"
I bumped into someone. My breath caught. Someone called me. Students and teachers who'd gotten off the buses stared. I was stranded alone in the crowd.
I scanned their faces. No expressions. They wore iron masks. Inquisitors smashing innocent Voodooists' heads with iron maces, chaining my father and dousing him in oil before lighting him up, dragging my mother away, tormenting her in my dreams, laughing at her agony in pain.
Among them in iron masks and robes, I was tiny. They'd crush me without resistance.
I backed away, looking around frantically. Run. But everywhere—iron masks, robes, inquisitors. No escape.
The more I retreated and scanned, the smaller I shrank. Soon, even their faces vanished. Only their threatening feet, ready to stomp me.
I knew it was a hallucination. But I couldn't escape. That's what terrified me most. If you know it's fake but can't break free, how do you get out?
I plugged my ears, shut my eyes, curled up. Run, I have to run, I want to run...
Tap.
Someone touched my shoulder. The hallucination shattered absurdly. Iron masks fell from faces, crumbling to ash. Finally, I saw the world clearly, their expressions. Students and teachers alike stared, faces etched with confusion.
And in the crowd's center: Ma Yu-hyeon. Smiling slyly, hand extended to me.
"......"
I hesitated to take it. This could all be a ploy. Before I went berserk with Loa powers and spells, a safer way to capture me. The kids watching? His accomplices. Teachers too. The inquisitors? Maybe not hallucination. No guarantee one wasn't hidden here. I'd mistaken hallucination for reality—or vice versa.
Impossible to know.
"It's just you and me for now."
When I didn't grab it, Ma Yu-hyeon whispered so only I could hear.
I looked up. He gazed down, hand out. Instinct told me what he meant to say.
"Wanna go somewhere? Looks like you've got a lot to say."
This pissed me off.
(To be continued in the next chapter)