Chapter 17
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 17
Chapter Title: Who Installed a Poison Vending Machine in the Imperial Palace?
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"Your Highness, congratulations. The funds that Consort Wei... well, decided to send have arrived."
Nokhui held out the bill of exchange with a bright smile on her face.
More than that, ripped out? I could see she was starting to pick up the lingo, even though she never used words like that before. Somehow, it made me proud. What good is it if people just spout rigid, high-minded nonsense all the time?
Nokhui needed to understand the way of expediency, too.
Expediency: handling matters flexibly according to the circumstances to achieve your goals.
If you always stick to the straight and narrow, change will slip further and further away. Sometimes, to bring about rapid transformation, you have to pull even unorthodox methods into play.
Anyway, putting that aside—seven thousand taels of silver incoming.
This was Lord Wei's lifeblood, a beautiful slip of paper soaked in Consort Wei's blood and tears.
"Perfect. Use this to distribute materials for the Sunken Mat Foundation technique across the thirteen provinces. We're not stopping at the Yellow River anymore—fix up the Yangtze and Huai River basins, too, top to bottom."
I picked up my brush, humming a little tune.
Having money made the work enjoyable. The afternoon sun was warm, and the office felt peaceful.
"Your Highness, it's time for your afternoon snack."
An inner eunuch approached and set down a teacup along with an elaborate tray of sweets. Normally, Soso would have taste-tested them first, but she had stepped out for a bit today.
A few days ago, her inkstone had shattered. Probably from using it too roughly, but she said it was so familiar in her hands now that it was fine. No helping it, then—she'd gone to get a new one.
"Oh, what's this? Nice color on it."
"It's raisin cake from the Western Regions, sent by Consort Wei as an apology for the other day's incident."
"An apology? From her?"
I chuckled.
This was less an apology and more a bribe saying, "Eat this and buzz off." Or maybe, "Choke on it and die." The thought made me chuckle again.
Still, she'd paid up handsomely, so I could overlook whatever intentions lay behind a bit of cake. The investigation was ongoing anyway—I figured I'd pin more on her later and squeeze out even more. Thinking along those lines, I picked up a piece without a second thought and popped it in my mouth.
Sweet and tasty. But...
Zing.
A faint numbness prickled the tip of my tongue. At the same time, a sharp scent rose to my nose. Faint, bitter almond.
'Huh?'
I froze mid-chew.
Warning lights from the knowledge in my head were blaring like mad.
Almond scent. Cyanide. Or concentrated amygdalin. In this world, they called it Jade Dust...
The moment I realized it was mixed into some cocktail poison...
"Ptoo!"
I spat it straight onto the floor. I'd let my guard down, never suspecting poison in food sent in her own name.
But a small amount had already slid down my throat with my saliva.
"Cough! Gack!"
Damn it—an emergency.
I scanned the room frantically and spotted a jar that had held lamp oil. I yanked out the wick and chugged it down.
To block absorption of the ingested poison as much as possible, coat the stomach lining with any available oil.
Even with the emergency measure, agony burned through my esophagus, and my heart started pounding wildly. My vision tinted yellow, my breaths came ragged. I wasn't dropping dead on the spot only thanks to the internal energy I'd built since childhood and the quick first aid.
But I couldn't hold out forever. If I didn't do something soon...
"Y-Your Highness?!"
Nokhui rushed in, startled by the weird noises. The eunuch was trembling in the corner.
"Soso—get Soso, quick..."
"Soso? What hap—"
"Hurry! Before I die!"
Nokhui bolted outside in a panic. I racked my brain for some way to buy time, but nothing came to mind.
I lay there enduring it until I couldn't hold back anymore and hurled.
"Urk... Blech!"
Vomit mixed with oil and god-knows-what splattered the floor.
Even so, a hot surge rose in my body, like it was fighting something off. I felt like I wouldn't die right away.
After the stomach-churning pain subsided, my breathing slowly steadied.
"Haa... haa..."
I lay spread-eagled on the floor, glaring at the ceiling. I couldn't die like this.
Then the door flew open, and Soso dashed in. She clutched a brand-new top-grade inkstone.
"Your Highness! What happened? I smell blood..."
Soso's face went pale at the sight of me collapsed and the mess on the floor. She'd instinctively clocked the poison.
She sniffed the vomit, pulled something out, and hurriedly fed it to me.
After swallowing and waiting, my mind cleared bit by bit, the pain easing.
I'd really brushed death.
Without modern knowledge, I'd have shaken hands with my ancestors across the River Jordan.
Once things stabilized, Soso's gaze locked onto the trembling eunuch in the corner.
"Was it you?"
Killing intent poured from Soso's eyes.
"N-No, it wasn't! I was just following Consort Wei's orders..."
Crunch!
The eunuch's excuse cut off. Soso's inkstone smashed his shoulder to pulp.
As she drew her dagger to slit his throat, I raised a hand to stop her.
"Hold... Soso. Don't kill him."
"Your Highness! He poisoned you! We kill him now—no need to dig for accomplices!"
"No. It wasn't him."
I staggered to my feet.
I wiped my mouth and picked up the remaining cake from the tray.
"From Consort Wei? No, she's not that stupid. It's a gift in her own name. She already paid up big—why spike the cake and leave a trail? That fox?"
Consort Wei was power-hungry, not suicidal.
Poison the Crown Prince? The Emperor wouldn't sit idle. Her entire Wei clan would be wiped out.
I sniffed the cake again.
"And this poison... it's too cheap."
"Cheap?"
"Yeah. Tasted it—almond stench everywhere. You think experts wouldn't notice? Not pro work. Slapdash amateur stuff."
I approached the eunuch. He writhed in agony from his shattered shoulder.
"You—where'd you get this?"
"Fr-From Consort Wei's quarters... A senior court lady gave it to me..."
"Anyone you met on the way? Handed off the package for a bit?"
"N-No one... Ah! I ran into a kitchen maid on the way. She said it was cold and offered to swap for warm ones..."
There it was. Switched midway.
Someone framing Consort Wei, or a third party just wanting me dead.
Nokhui arrived late with the imperial physician.
"I heard from Soso and brought the physician."
The physician heard my situation and Soso's report, then started treatment.
I seemed clear of immediate death. A while later, as I downed his prescribed medicine, footsteps pounded closer.
"Your Highness! Big trouble!"
A guard burst in from outside.
"A maid from Concubine Park's quarters in the rear palace dropped dead! And poison victims in the eunuchs' quarters too!"
"What?"
Not just me. Simultaneous poison killings.
Word was, Concubine Park's maid had died with her face twisted in grotesque laughter. Three Laughs Powder—the one that kills you giggling madly.
The eunuch had turned blue all over. Azure Scale Poison—skin scales up like a snake's and you die.
Different from my Jade Dust.
"Ha... would you look at that."
I let out a hollow laugh.
"Three Laughs Powder, Azure Scale Poison, Jade Dust... All varieties in one day? Since when did the palace turn into Poison Central?"
Soso's expression grew grave.
"Your Highness. This is no joke. Rare poisons flooding the palace at once... But too scattered to pin on one faction."
"Agreed. Hard to call it targeted."
I crossed my arms and muttered.
"This is distribution crime."
"Distribution?"
"Someone's supplying poison all over the palace willy-nilly. Not 'we'll kill for you'—it's 'buy the tools to kill' sales pitch."
The palace brimmed with grudges.
Concubines against each other, eunuchs scheming, officials plotting. They'd held back for lack of means.
Now someone handed them easy murder tools, so everyone stocked up and unleashed on rivals or enemies.
I just got caught in the crossfire.
"Demand creates supply. And what a massive hole."
I clicked my still-tingling tongue.
"Soso. Who could flood the place with this variety? Jianghu poison crews, right?"
"Sichuan Tang Clan or Five Poisons Cult... But top suspect is Ten Thousand Poisons Sect. They sell anything for the right price."
Ten Thousand Poisons Sect. Never heard of 'em.
I sent Soso and Nokhui to dig, and they came back quick. Upstream from the Poison Snake Sect I'd crushed on the Yellow River. They paid tribute, apparently.
I'd unwittingly cut their funding downriver.
Instead of dumb revenge with swords, they flooded the palace market to rot it from inside. Cocky enough to think they wouldn't get caught? Attacking the palace out of pride?
"Ha, these bastards dare set up an illegal stall in my turf?"
I'd nearly crossed the Jordan because of it.
Rage gripped my fist. Damn. Time to crush 'em.
My stomach still reeked of oil, turning it.
Dared make me guzzle oil? Disrupt my work time?
I could stomach the bad experience, but stealing my sleep by messing with my schedule? Unforgivable.
"Soso. Starting a poison trail investigation."
"Poison trail?"
"Trace the source. Raid the palace supply depot. Sniff out every weird-smelling herb or spice shipment lately. Can't import this volume otherwise. Not via smuggling."
"Understood."
With her sharp senses, she'd pinpoint by scent easy.
Two hours later. Palace supply warehouse.
"Your Highness, found it."
Soso pointed to small wooden crates stacked in the corner. Outside labels read Western spices, even stamped in Hanja.
But Soso wrinkled her nose from afar.
"Fishy snake-scale stink... mixed with that almond your Highness tasted."
I cautiously pried open a crate.
Inside, packed tight with colorful poison powders disguised as spices. Bottles even had friendly tags.
[One Zhang Crimson - Excellent for skin care]
[Seven Steps Pill - Rat killer extraordinaire]
[Jade Dust - Recommended! Tasty and fast-acting]
"Whoa... insane. They straight-up made a menu. 'Recommended'? This the one I ate?"
I was floored. Checked the supplier name.
[Thousand-Li Fragrance Merchant Group]
First I'd heard. But beat up the right people for answers.
Grilled the logistics manager, and he spilled easy.
"Recently, an eunuch came saying he scored great spices, so we took delivery. B-But was there a problem...?"
Problems? Overflowing. This turned the palace into hell.
The Gold Guard listening outside swarmed in and dragged him off. No seeing him again.
"Heh, this sloppily breached?"
Bribed or just dumb? Hard to say yet. One thing clear: manager was an idiot.
Back at the East Palace, waited a while till Gold Guard reported.
"Ruled a lapse by the dimwit manager. No leads up the chain."
Haa. Couldn't hide the sigh.
Turned out he was just stupid. Dead end for tracing. What now?
Suspected culprit, no path to them.
One way: deploy people. Buy poison undercover, tail the seller.
So I called the East Palace Chief Eunuch, briefed him on the poison spree. Ordered him to quietly procure some and track the source.
"I'll report the moment we find something."
Now we wait.
Something's gotta bite the hook.