Chapter 93
Translator 8uhl
Chapter 93
Chapter Title This Is My Last Chance
It was the first time anyone had ever seen Chae Eungyu make that kind of face.
Yoo Minha flinched at his icy glare and started stammering.
Ah, uh. Wwhat I meant was.
This was the midevaluation, and all thats left is the final live broadcast. What the hell do you mean by next time? After the live show? After this program ends?
Nno, thats not what I meant.
You guys have a next time! This isnt the end for you!
A voice louder than any of us had ever heard came from Chae Eungyus mouth.
Words filled with rage echoed off the quiet hallway walls.
Even if you dont debut this time, even if this program ends, its not over for you, right? You think you can just find another chance, so thats why it comes out so casually. But not for me!
We couldnt say a word.
No one had predicted a situation like this.
And no one had imagined Chae Eungyu would be the one screaming in neardesperation.
This is my last shot. Im really at the end of the line, with nowhere else to go. Ive only got one chance left, so how am I supposed to do better next time? Even if Ive done well so far, screwing up the finale means its all over. What more am I supposed to do!
After pouring out everything hed been holding in, Chae Eungyu took a few ragged breaths.
Then, as his eyes met oursshocked expressions staring back at himhe flinched.
Ah, what did I just...
His rationality seemed to return.
Chae Eungyu looked mortified and took a small step back.
Soon, he bumped into the hallway wall and shook his head.
......Sorry.
With a low apology, Chae Eungyu hurried away from the practice room hallway.
......
......
The remaining team members fell into a heavy silence.
Yoo Minha, in particular, seemed the most shaken.
......I didnt mean it like that at all.
A small voice leaked from his lips.
His wide eyes looked ready to burst into tears any second.
The thing I was worried about finally happened.
I sighed inwardly and gripped Yoo Minhas shoulder firmly.
One mentally broken trainee was enough.
If the rest collapsed here, the whole team could sink into a slump.
Everyone knows. Minha, you meant we shouldnt dwell on the midevaluation results and just do better in the next practice.
......But Eungyu hyung...
He knows better than anyone. Its just that a bunch of bad circumstances lined up, so he snapped without meaning to. You knew it too, right? That being the leader put a ton of stress on Eungyu hyung.
Yeah. He was always trying so hard to lead us...
That pressure clashing with the judges feedback probably made him say things he didnt mean. Eungyu hyung absolutely knows you didnt intend it that way. So dont beat yourself up.
Yoo Minha closed his eyes and took a deep breath at my words.
His trembling shoulders finally stilled.
Eungyu hyungll be okay, right?
Of course. You know what kind of guy he is. Hell probably come back apologizing first and smooth things over, so dont worry too much.
Your heads probably a mess right now too, hyung... Lets give it a little time, Minha.
Fortunately, Kwon Daehyun and Kang Donghwi added calm words.
Even the silent Ji Yooncheol chimed in quietly.
......Eungyu hyungs got his own worries, so its probably best to wait until he sorts his thoughts.
Yeah, yeah.
Good job, Yooncheol.
This managed to somewhat refresh the teams mood.
But...
The real problem is over there.
I recalled the active status ailment on Chae Eungyus status window.
A combination of factors, I figured.
The immense pressure of the Idol Training Simulation finale.
Having led as leader all this time, the need to prove himself to the end.
Then facing team discord and judges criticism in that state.
The impatience of knowing time was running out for him.
And most recently, dropping from the unshakable Top 3 spot.
The lower his rank fell, the more he probably whipped himself to do better.
All of it piling up must have left Chae Eungyu with an indescribable burden and anxiety.
It was understandable, but we couldnt afford to let that status ailment stay active.
I had to get him back to normal and rebuild our teamwork somehow.
Otherwise, our finale stage really would go down the drain.
Guess Ill have to talk to him.
After the midevaluation, we took a break and agreed to regroup.
On the way back to our cells, Kang Donghwi sidled up and lightly tapped my shoulder.
......Take care of it.
Leave it to me.
He didnt specify, but I understood immediately.
Asking me, his cellmate, to check on Chae Eungyu.
Even without him saying it, I was going to step up.
Still, it felt good knowing the other teammates felt the same.
The cell Chae Eungyu and I shared was pitch black.
Even though it was still daytime, the drawn curtains blocked all light.
At the far end, on the bed, I saw a shadowy figure sitting blankly.
Are you feeling a bit better?
When I spoke, the figure twitched slightly.
No reply came, so I flipped on the light without delay.
......Too bright, Karis.
We need the light to talk.
Chae Eungyu looked gaunt, like hed lost weight in that short time.
The shadows on his face made his usual vibe even darker.
I sat beside him with the most serene expression I could muster, and he let out a wry chuckle.
How do you always look so calm? Teach me your ways.
Trade secret.
Thats cold, man.
I couldnt exactly say to dive into a game and grab a system.
Brushing it off lightly, I cut to the chase.
You know better than anyone that holing up in here like this solves nothing.
......Yeah.
Then whyd you bolt like you were fleeing and sit here in the dark like the world ended?
Chae Eungyu dropped his head between his knees.
......Maybe Im just not cut out to be leader.
Mind if I ask why you think that?
Losing control of my own emotions and yelling at some kid who did nothing wrong? Thats not what a leader does. Common sense.
Hmm, fair point, to an extent.
But exceptions exist depending on the situation.
Even leaders are just people. And theres no such thing as a perfect person in this world. Even the leader of Koreas top idol group isnt a saint every second of every day, Id bet.
......Still.
If a situation reminiscent of past trauma hits again, anyones judgment clouds for a moment. I cant stay calm in every scenario either, so today was just one of those for you.
My trauma?
Chae Eungyu snapped his head toward me.
Then, remembering something, he let out a short sigh.
Ah. Right. You were there too.
I get how much resolve it took for you to even join Idol Training Simulation. And the mindset youre approaching it with. Youre chasing your old teammates because you truly see this as your last chance, right?
Old teammates... not anymore, though.
Chae Eungyu had probably just recalled Music K Showdown in his head.
The moment his former agency colleague approached us.
That idol had poked at Chae Eungyus sore spots on purpose back then too.
That mightve been when the extra pressure started piling on.
Its been ages since I left that agency.
Either way, youre chasing them. To debut and stand on stage with your head high, right?
That thoughts always crammed in my head. Thats why... Im getting more desperate. If I dont debut this time, there is no next for me. My age, multiple past debut failureswhod want someone like that? I have to treat this as my absolute last shot, but.
That pressure boiled over with the midevaluation, leading to words you didnt mean for the team. That about it?
Chae Eungyu nodded.
I really... did something unforgivable. As the eldest, as the leader, I couldnt even control my own damn feelings.
The point is to shake off that selfblame. Like I said, no ones perfect. Everyone has bad memories they cant avoid, and burying emotions only makes them fester.
But I shouldnt have said it like that. To kids who didnt do anything.
Hyung.
I took a breath.
Closed my eyes, picked my words carefully in my head, then spoke quietly.
We dont hate your painful memories. We worry. We want to know what torments you, what hurts you. That way we can understand, and trust grows. If you bare those hidden feelings without hesitation, thats proof you truly trust us.
But thats my burden to bear.
A team isnt the leader suffering alone. A real team efforts together. Theyll thank you for it. Hearing your thoughts, why you felt that pressureitll make them understand naturally, and theyll all say its fine.
Chae Eungyu mustve thought this to the end.
That his bad memories and traumas fallout were his to carry alone.
Hed blame himself entirely for snapping, drowning in guilt.
But thatd break him and shatter team trust.
Open up. Theyll get it. Why you snapped, why the pressure hit so hard. Show you trust them enough to spill it all. The teamll bond even tighter.
My words slowly settled in the air.
In the corner of my vision, a notification appeared.
Skill, Master of Eloquence C activates.
Chae Eungyu listened silently.
After mulling it over in his head for a while, he broke into a faint smile.
......Thanks. I think I know what to do now.
Good to hear.
Feels like Im always leaning on you. Sorry.
I grinned at that.
No need to apologize to me.