Lend Me Your House
My cock just wouldn't get hard.
I'd been watching porn and gripping it tightly with my right hand, jerking off until I came in no time, but the moment I tried to put it inside a woman's pussy, it went limp like a wilted reed.
It wasn't that the woman lying naked on the bed, ass raised and face down, didn't turn me on. She was a urologist four years older than me.
The situation itself was exciting enough, yet the second I tried to push inside her, my cock completely deflated.
I frantically grabbed it and shook it, trying to force it upright, but it was useless.
I couldn't see her expression, but I could feel the aura of irritation radiating from her.
Seo Ji-hyun, who had been lying prone, let out a deep sigh while staring at the pillow, then rolled over and sat cross-legged in front of me.
The slight furrow in her brow and the tired look in her eyes revealed exactly how she felt. Strands of hair that had come loose framed her slender face softly.
Her sharp features and smooth skin made it hard to believe she was already over thirty—she looked far younger.
She grabbed my wrist as I kept shaking myself and spoke.
"Stop. It's fine."
"Shit. This is so weird. I don't usually have this problem… seriously…"
"I said it's fine. You always say that, so what do you mean you don't usually have this problem?"
I stopped my hand, which had been desperately shaking my cock.
It was already infuriating that I couldn't get hard, and this woman always managed to get on my nerves.
Still, I held it in and decided to ask her for advice.
"Okay. As a urologist, what's wrong with me, noona?"
In this embarrassing and pride-wounding situation, her first words were calm and professional.
"Jun-young, I hate to say this, but have you been under a lot of stress lately? Work, relationships, anything like that?"
I kept my eyes fixed on the floor and answered dryly.
"I don't know. Hospital work is always like that. I don't think I'm more stressed than anyone else."
Seo Ji-hyun nodded quietly at my words.
Then, as if treating an outpatient, she continued carefully.
"There are many possible causes of erectile dysfunction, but given your age and current physical condition, the psychogenic factor is probably the biggest. Especially for sensitive people like you, tension or pressure often causes temporary erectile dysfunction."
"So it's a psychological problem?"
My voice kept growing sharper.
I would have preferred if she'd said it was physical, but she calmly delivered the answer that wounded my pride the most.
"Yeah. Maybe you were nervous today, or I made you feel pressured, or maybe fatigue and lack of sleep recently are affecting you. Erections are closely tied to psychological stability, after all."
"Isn't that too textbook? I'm a doctor too."
I couldn't stop the irritable tone from slipping out.
Ji-hyun fell silent for a moment, then placed her hand gently on my shoulder and spoke more affectionately.
"I know. I wasn't looking down on you. What I'm saying is that you might be unconsciously feeling pressure, or there could be psychological burden in your sexual relationship."
"I feel psychological burden?"
My voice rose again. I continued, agitated.
"Then what am I supposed to do?"
She hesitated briefly at my sharp reaction, but soon resumed her explanation in the composed tone of a urology specialist.
"First, you need to manage stress, and it's important to ease tension before sex. If necessary, you can combine it with light medication. Trying something like a PDE5 inhibitor is one option."
"You're telling me to take Viagra?"
She frowned slightly at my reaction but maintained her rational demeanor.
"Jun-young, PDE5 inhibitors aren't shameful drugs. They're just a treatment, like the ones you prescribe to patients in the anal surgery department. There's no need to feel embarrassed."
"I'm not embarrassed, I'm just in a bad mood. It feels like I've become a patient myself."
I spat the words out sullenly and shook off her hand. Ji-hyun didn't get angry at my sulking attitude and simply patted my shoulder quietly.
"I just want to help. Don't take it so sensitively."
I realized that her calm, composed attitude only wounded my pride further.
Because here I was, an anal surgeon, reduced to nothing more than a 'patient' in front of her as she gave urological advice.
"Fine. I'll figure it out myself. I'll consider what you suggested."
I stood up without another word and headed for the bathroom. The soft sigh I heard from behind only soured my mood more.
Feeling petty, I slammed the bathroom door shut.
While showering, I thought to myself.
The date this morning had been perfect, but the ending was terrible. I decided to just leave her place and go home.
There was still some time before sunset, but I didn't want to stay here any longer.
My behavior felt selfish, but in the end, she was the one who would miss me, not the other way around.
Seo Ji-hyun was now thirty-two, four years older than me, and she thought of herself as a woman who had missed her prime marriageable age.
She had an excellent job as a urology specialist, yet she seemed to believe a woman's value was determined by her age.
After finishing my shower, I reached for a towel on the rack to dry myself and spotted Seo Ji-hyun's black silk panties.
The moment I saw them, I got hard instantly. My body was full of vigor at times like this, so why wouldn't it work when I actually tried to have sex…? Maybe she was right that it was psychogenic.
I wiped the water from my body with the towel and, without thinking, picked up her panties. It wasn't like I had a stealing habit.
Yet, strangely, I didn't want to let go of them. It felt like an instinctive impulse. I quietly slipped them into my pocket.
Even if she noticed, I could just pretend I didn't know anything. Steam poured out as the bathroom door opened.
"I'm heading home first."
At my words, she looked at me with surprised eyes and quickly continued.
"I'll go with you. You bought a new place last week, right?"
I spoke as soothingly as possible.
"I haven't even moved all my stuff from my parents' house yet. There's only a bed right now. Once I finish arranging the furniture, I'll definitely call you first. Don't worry. Tomorrow's Monday anyway. I'll see you at the hospital, noona. See you tomorrow!"
"Hey! Kim Jun-young!"
She called after me, but I hurried out of her house.
Just thinking about getting another lecture from her tomorrow already made me tired.
Maybe I should just break up with her for good.
Even if it wasn't 'Seo Ji-hyun,' I was already dating 'Cho Soo-jin,' a high school teacher.
I was two-timing, but I planned to sort things out with one of them soon and keep seeing the other.
Thanks to my indecisive personality, though, this situation had dragged on for quite a while.
Fortunately, my thorough and calculating nature meant I hadn't been caught yet.
Being calculating yet indecisive… even I found my own personality frustrating.
I tried to calculate everything perfectly, but when it came time to make a decision, I always hesitated. Anyone would say this kind of personality was the worst.
The moment I got home, I collapsed onto the bed. The apartment felt empty and hollow.
This newly built officetel on the twentieth floor was something I'd bought by taking out a loan I could barely afford.
The wallpaper and flooring still carried the scent of a new house, and the large studio-style officetel contained nothing but a bed, a wardrobe, and a computer.
Only a few days' worth of clothes hung in the wardrobe; the rest of my belongings were still at my parents' house.
Because I hadn't bothered to move everything properly yet, the place still looked exactly like it had right after moving in.
The computer sat alone in one corner of the room, but without even basic furniture like a desk or chair, the apartment felt even more desolate.
I stared up at the empty ceiling and closed my eyes again.
But I couldn't sleep because something was bothering me. The fact that I couldn't get hard was really weighing on my mind.
It was a problem I'd only recently become aware of, and since Seo Ji-hyun, a urology specialist, had said it was psychogenic, she was probably right.
I'd considered trying Viagra, but it still felt too early to rely on medication.
I decided to try something else first. That something was the Aneros.
The Aneros was a device inserted into the anus to directly stimulate the prostate, a product related to men's prostate health management.
It had originally been developed for prostate treatment and massage, but later became widely known for sexual pleasure as well.
In short, it was an anal masturbation device.
I wanted to use it to treat my erectile dysfunction. Of course, if I could feel that dizzying pleasure at the same time, that would be killing two birds with one stone.
Since I was an anal surgeon, I was using the Aneros because I wanted to study the anus.
'I'm definitely not doing anal masturbation,' I told myself as an excuse, then opened the drawer and carefully took out the Aneros.
After carefully cleaning my anus, giving myself an enema, applying a generous amount of high-viscosity lube to the Aneros, and injecting some into my anus with a syringe, I inserted the now-sticky device inside and lay comfortably on the bed.
Strangely, even after some time passed, I didn't feel anything special.
I'd been told to focus all my attention on the prostate and on the foreign sensation inside my anus, but I didn't feel any pleasure at all.
Was the stimulation not enough? I brought Seo Ji-hyun's stolen panties to my nose and tried concentrating on the Aneros and my prostate again.
I kept the Aneros inside my anus for about two hours, focusing hard to feel something good, but there was no progress.
In the end, I pulled the Aneros out of my anus and let out a sigh. Maybe it took practice to reach extreme anal masturbation pleasure?
Oh right, I wasn't trying to feel pleasure through my asshole—I was just doing this out of curiosity as an anal surgeon, and to treat my erectile dysfunction.
I brainwashed myself like that. After stuffing Seo Ji-hyun's panties, the Aneros, and the lube into the nightstand by the bed, I decided to just go to sleep.