Chapter 63: Happiness Is Not Pure
The editing team of the short film Sword was still immersed in the aftertaste.
Director Park Joon let out a deep breath.
"Haahaaa..."
A new sense of emotion. It was because it had been so difficult for so long.
But the editing of Sword did not include the difficulty that Park Joon felt. Even though this work was particularly difficult, it was so exciting that it made him forget all the fatigue and work with full commitment.
However.
'I was tired. Really tired.'
The thing that made Park Joon feel truly tired was the moments when he had been walking down the slope after one hit drama. And finally, now, the rope of curse was in his hand.
Coincidentally, with the title Sword.
The editing team's reactions to Sword with Park Joon weren't much different; their faces were strangely similar. Expressions of relief just because they had completed it. Some had red eyes.
"Director Park, it's perfect. You've really worked hard."
"It will definitely please Sua's heart!"
They then shared a long afterglow, and after a while, the conversation topic changed to something else.
"By the way, Director Park, did you see it? The short film festival this year has several changes, they say. It's said to be changed a lot."
"Yeah. I was about to say that too. Let's all watch it together after gathering."
The editing team started looking into the differences that the Busan International Short Film Festival this year holds, and soon they had a lot to say.
"After all, Director Kim Jungi is out. Who will they replace as the main judge? I heard something about Director Go Taemin."
"Eh? If that's the case, isn't it good for us?"
Park Joon listened to their words and thought quietly.
'Director Go Taemin...'
And soon shook his head.
"No. Winning an award for us would actually make it harder."
"Why is that?"
"Director Go is very fair, and moreover, he's connected to the Bareungil group with me. To avoid any noise, he'll judge Sword with several times stricter standards."
"Ah..."
Everyone nodded, but Park Joon's face had no anxious expression. The surroundings were the same.
There was reason for that.
"But."
Park Joon said with a smile instead.
"We have the confidence to win an award even under several times stricter standards. We have a trump card. Right?"
"That's right!"
The editing team agreed in unison.
The basis for their confidence was naturally Sword. Even if the result was different from expectations, at least there was no better result than what they could see with their own eyes.
An employee said with an excited voice.
"Sua's acting is so great, and with this, I think we can aim for the award. So, this change is perfect for us right now, isn't it?"
"What change?"
"This part. Increasing the number of awards."
"...Is that so? There were several more added besides the work award?"
Park Joon quickly scanned the content.
It was easy to understand. Unlike the past where only works received awards, now awards are given to directors and actors too.
Another editing team employee tilted their head.
"Why add awards?"
"It must be an order from above. There has been a sign that they're pushing short films. The interest in short films compared to recent commercial films is pitiful. That's not a good phenomenon."
"Ah..."
"Anyway, we should understand it like this."
Park Joon adjusted his hat once.
"This short film festival has an unprecedented amount of water flowing in, and we might have prepared the sturdiest ship. That is..."
"...It would be enough if we don't sink. No, is Sua a motor?"
"It's definitely not ordinary. Expectations are already high."
Then the employee with a bright face said.
"Should we keep this expectation to ourselves? Or gather the stakeholders and hold a small screening?"
"Of course, we have to do a test screening. We might see the flaws that weren't visible to our eyes, and most importantly, we need Sua's final approval. Nothing is more important than Sua's wishes."
"That's right. It's a movie made by Sua."
Park Joon immediately took out the phone in his pocket.
Calling. The other party is naturally Mystic Entertainment CEO Kim Iseo.
Almost at the same time as calling, Kim Iseo answered the phone.
─Hello?
"Ah, CEO. How have you been?"
─Of course.
"Sword editing is finished. We want to hold a test screening by gathering stakeholders, so please let us know how Mystic will handle it. We'd like Sua to come if possible..."
"I see. I'll bring Sua for a short visit."
"Ah, what about Seonil and Yeonju? Are they busy too? They contributed a lot to the work."
"Yeonju is busy, and Seonil is..."
Kim Iseo pondered for a moment.
Currently, Kim Seonil is rushing to the hospital to check on his younger sister's condition. However, this is not something easily said, so Kim Iseo pondered a different answer.
"...Seonil is also busy. As always."
After a while, after hanging up the phone, Kim Iseo thought quietly.
'Is it okay? Today's climax filming...'
Today.
The climax filming of Special Task Force 808 was scheduled.
◇◇◇◇◇
"What's going on?"
Hospital.
Kim Seonil asked the two doctors opposite him.
The doctor opened his mouth with a somewhat serious expression.
"It's the same as usual. Again, sudden high fever."
"So? Is it still serious?"
Fortunately, the doctor shook his head.
"Since we did rapid cooling measures, it should be fine. Of course, having high fevers frequently isn't a good thing, but at least it didn't spread to something bigger. For now, it's okay."
A sign that the crisis was well overcome. Kim Seonil finally wiped his face with his palm. His face was sweaty.
"...What is the cause exactly?"
Kim Seonil asked seriously, more than ever.
Seonil's younger sister, Kim Yu-jin, has been in the hospital for quite some time.
Actually, being in the hospital itself wasn't a big problem. Humans get sick sometimes, and sometimes need to go to the hospital.
So, the problem was separate.
"What is the cause that makes her constantly suffer from high fevers?"
The exact cause of the high fever couldn't be pinpointed.
Kim Seonil could do anything for his sister, but this situation where nothing helped was just frustrating. Because she had frequent high fevers, his sister couldn't leave the hospital.
"That's..."
At that moment, the doctor hesitated for a moment and opened his mouth.
"Do you know about a phenomenon called Yips?"
"...Yips?"
Kim Seonil nodded.
"I know. Isn't it like a mental illness?"
"Yes. Athletes often experience it. After recovering from a big injury, they can't move their bodies bravely. The memory of the injury keeps holding them back."
A pianist can't move fingers due to mental blockage, a racing driver can't turn the steering wheel boldly like before...
Yips is like that. A mental obstacle.
Kim Seonil had seen it in scripts.
He had worked on several sports-related works during filming. Yips was a common story among them.
But Kim Seonil couldn't understand.
"Is it that my sister is suffering from Yips?"
"Probably."
"...I don't understand. She's not even someone who uses her body."
"No. You should look at Yips broadly. Pay attention to the fact that a sick mind manifests symptoms in any way. It seems the symptom for Yu-jin is high fever."
"..."
Kim Seonil pondered for a moment.
And shook his head again.
"Then I don't understand even more."
He looked at the doctor with serious eyes.
"Doesn't the start of Yips have two things? Suffering a very big injury or thinking that the cause of some failure is oneself and festering."
"That's right. You understand it very accurately."
"My sister has never suffered a very big injury, and she hasn't tried failing at anything. It doesn't make sense."
The causes of Yips that Kim Seonil knew were two.
After suffering a big injury, the horrific memory from back then keeps coming up and preventing proper movement. That's the first.
Or, the mind festers and rots because one thinks the cause of failure is oneself. That's the second. The mind that tries to find the cause of failure and grow actually eats away at oneself.
According to Kim Seonil, his sister didn't fall into either category.
At that moment.
"Ah, about that part..."
The woman in a gown next to the doctor opened her lips. She was not a doctor but a counselor.
"Yu-jin often talks about her brother."
"Yes."
"She says her brother doesn't look happy. Because of herself."
"...Yes?"
"She seems to be a bit self-blaming about that part."
Kim Seonil's expression twisted involuntarily.
He didn't think the counselor's words were absurd.
But because he didn't know why he was appearing unhappy from all sides.
He couldn't understand at all.
Why he was appearing unhappy.
And what exactly his sister was blaming herself for.
"Two people."
Kim Seonil quietly looked at the two in front of him.
"...Am I really appearing that unhappy?"
Of course, no appropriate answer came back.
Kim Seonil, feeling heavy-hearted, headed to his sister's hospital room.
.
.
.
.
Inside the hospital room.
"Oppa..."
She had only held his hand, but she probably guessed his identity. His younger sister greeted Kim Seonil without hiding her joy.
But the situation wasn't good.
Kim Yu-jin's body was as hot as if it were a hot pack, and currently she couldn't even open her eyes. Sweat beads forming on her forehead suggested the girl's condition.
"..."
It was natural for Kim Seonil's expression to become serious.
Until now, Yu-jin was a lively and cheerful child.
But now she had become a child who seemed like it would break if he let go. When did this start?
"Phew.... Phew..."
His younger sister breathed heavily several times.
Just looking at it, her breathing was labored, and her eyes couldn't even open.
Even if she opened her eyes, she couldn't recognize the surroundings. With high fever, her vision would be completely blurry and hazy.
In such a situation, his younger sister said.
"Oppa.... How much time has passed...?"
"Time?"
Kim Seonil quickly checked the time on his phone.
"That day, the day we talked on the phone, did the filming go well...?"
The younger sister wanted to ask something else.
It seemed she was curious if Kim Seonil had finished filming well on the day they did video call.
Kim Seonil nodded immediately.
"Yeah. It went well."
Up to here was fine. However.
"Oppa acted the best?"
"...Of course."
The answer that came out involuntarily.
It was a lie. On the day they fought over the steering wheel, Kim Seonil didn't think he had done as well as Sua.
But he didn't want to disappoint his younger sister who was speaking with high expectations even in this painful situation.
─Yips, probably caused by the mind.
Because he heard the doctor's words, especially that. If he didn't hear the desired answer, there was concern that the situation might worsen.
The girl's thin hands tightly held Seonil's hand.
"Oppa, I'm not asking about your skills."
"Then?"
"The best move?"
"Yeah. That's obvious too."
"Ei, it sounds like a lie..."
"It's not a lie."
Kim Seonil immediately answered.
"My happy appearance is recorded anyway, and the drama production team is all here now. They want to see Seonil's brother. They're curious who has a sister who acts so happily."
"Really? Really...? I want to see you..."
"So, you have to get better soon. You have to see it."
Kim Seonil urged him. Impatiently.
"Oppa, really the best move?"
"Yeah. I said so. Stop asking now."
"...Ara, still, it's fortunate."
His younger sister smiled thinly amid her sweaty face.
"Our oppa, now the anger will be gone."
"Anger? What anger."
"My doll. Did oppa get angry?"
Kim Seonil's gaze finally turned to a corner of the hospital room.
An old teddy bear was sitting there as if to say 'look at me'. Then, his younger sister had such a doll.
Why had he completely forgotten? It was something his sister cherished.
Kim Seonil tilted his head.
"Oppa..."
"Yeah."
Kim Seonil's voice became slightly brighter involuntarily.
The younger sister's voice he heard just now sounded much better than before. When he touched her forehead, the fever had decreased a lot.
Now, drowsiness was pouring out belatedly.
His younger sister said in a sleep-talking manner.
"...I want to see the scene where oppa did the best."
"You can see it when you wake up."
"I want to see the best move too."
"Yeah. That too."
"I want to see the people oppa brought... Can I see it when I wake up? Can you wait here?"
A childish, absurd request.
But Kim Seonil nodded.
"Yeah."
And with that lie, his sister seemed relieved.
"Okay. Oppa.... I'm sleepy..."
"Go to sleep."
"When you wake up, I'll really check..."
"Yeah."
How much time had passed like that.
Snore— snore—
Soon his younger sister fell asleep.
"Phew..."
Kim Seonil let out a sigh of relief.
But that relief didn't last long.
"Haa..."
This sigh was full of worry, and Kim Seonil wiped his face with a heavy expression.
Because he had spewed too many lies to his sister.
First, it was good that he had comforted his sister and put her to sleep.
Yeah, that was good.
However.
'I don't know how to handle this.'
The sister who wakes up will face reality.
The problem was that the sister who was disappointed by the reality different from what she heard might suffer a worse fever. Yips manifests as a severe symptom when the mind is greatly hurt.
Uung— uung—
The phone in his pocket started vibrating.
The call from CEO Kim Iseo. Even without answering, the content was obvious.
Actually, today was an especially important day for Kim Seonil and the Special Task Force 808 production team. It was the day the most important part of the scenario was filmed, the climax filming.
However, Kim Seonil didn't answer the phone and was lost in thought.
The lie that he acted the best.
The lie that he was happy.
First, these two lies are too big.
'The only way not to disappoint his sister...'
To capture such a scene in today's filming.
To show it to the awakened sister as if to say 'look'.
An absurd story.
Actually, an impossible story.
Uung— uung—
The phone kept ringing.
Eventually, Kim Seonil answered the phone.
"Yes. I'm coming now. It shouldn't be late."
The steps that started moving soon were quite heavy-hearted.
'Can I act that scene?'
The scene where he shines the most, the happy scene.
He had to make it. But at the same time, he wasn't confident.
The Special Task Force 808 climax filming today.
Today's opponent for Kim Seonil was none other than Lee Sua.