Settling the Pecking Order
The set of Special Task Force 808.
They had definitely run the mock shoot in this very place, and yet the set felt to Sua like a world of an entirely different order.
The real shoot. Vivid past any comparison with before.
Well, the differences were obvious at a glance. It had been day then, and it was night now; the building that had stood there bare had its lights on; every actor wore the makeup that belonged to their role. Because of all of it, Sua felt as if she were passing through some other world. As if she had truly fallen into the world called Special Task Force 808.
Yeah. Just like when I experience a script.
And it was not only the actors who were busy. Crew members hauled equipment she had never seen in her life; the props team tended set pieces in every corner; cameras were going up on all sides; and the people carrying things that looked like scripts were the directing team. Sua was startled all over again by the sheer number of them.
What is this, an amusement park...?
People wandering an amusement park at least looked as if they had time to spare. This place brimmed with nothing but desperation. The mock shoot that had rattled her so badly now felt, by comparison, like a game.
Which meant—
I'm supposed to play Kim Yu-han in the middle of all these people, in an atmosphere like this...?
Thump. Thump.
Sua's heart began to pound. She could feel herself maturing compared to the past, but even granting that, the situation made her shake. Today, once again, she had to overcome herself and prove it.
Lee Sua. Don't tremble. Don't tremble.
She promptly moved to slap her own cheeks. No—she stopped short of it and simply folded her arms. She had stumbled onto the trick by chance, the day she crossed her arms because she had no bra on: hold the pose with all your strength, and the nerves died down a little. The Sua Fold.
An arctic fox doesn't tremble...
The self-brainwashing came as a bonus. In truth, even an arctic fox probably had its moments of nerves, but in Sua's head the creature was already something close to a sacred beast.
That was when it happened.
"Sua, did you find some kind of flaw?"
Two people approached as she stood quietly looking up at Team 808's headquarters: Park Dohui, and the luxury supporting actor Hwang Myung-pil.
Sua shook her head.
"Not really. This much is fine."
"Oh, that's a relief. You looked uncomfortable about something..."
Watching Sua quietly shake her head, Park Dohui thought, What is that face makeup? Why is there no uncanny feeling at all? No—past that, he's actually pretty handsome. And if they lay CG over this...
In the midst of it, Hwang Myung-pil spoke.
"Sua, how's your condition? I'm counting on you for today's shoot."
He smiled wide, because he secretly wanted to get closer to her. It was only natural for him. He lived and died by ad-libs, and an ad-lib meant nothing unless the other person played along. Getting close to Sua ahead of time could only work in his favor.
It was then that Sua turned her head and looked at him.
"...My condition?"
"Never mind. That was a foolish question. Even at my age, I always get the shakes before a real shoot. But one look at you and I can tell. You aren't nervous at all."
Sua nodded.
"My role doesn't come with any direction that says to be nervous."
Never had there been a lie quite like it.
But after she answered, an exclamation point rose in her before she knew it.
...!
Sua thought about it. Hadn't that answer just now been pretty cool? Wasn't that arctic-fox of her? She decided this technique deserved a name. Sua Swagger.
Park Dohui let out a sudden sigh.
"...The more composed you are, the more nervous I get. I was truly sorry about the last shoot. Today I'll really do my best."
"Okay."
After a few more exchanges, the three of them reached the set.
Whoaaa!
And then Sua's gasp of wonder. Police cars were parked in a neat row, and to her there was no grander sight. The very fact of using cars in a shoot was already astonishing, and these were police cars on top of that. Of course she was amazed.
"Sua!"
Writer Lee Geumsuk came over as if she had been waiting for Sua alone.
"Sua, you're here? Shall I set a chair out for you? In honor of the first day of the real shoot, I went and wrote about two more volumes of script."
"Yes. Give them to me."
The writer's face went perfectly blank. Then, all at once, she burst into enormous laughter.
"Sua, it was a joke! A joke!"
"Huh?"
"Handing someone two volumes of script on the day of the shoot is how you get rocks thrown at your head! But your comeback game is no ordinary thing. You actually flustered me for a second. I even wondered whether you'd really take them."
Sua thought, What? I wasn't joking.
"I wasn't joking."
"Aigoo, you really do say the loveliest things. All right. The passion of treasuring my script like that is moving enough on its own. Anyway, there's no additional script today, so give the shoot everything you've got!"
In the end Sua only nodded. The other woman was plainly delighted, and that seemed like enough.
Just then a small-statured woman joined the group. Two large hairpins fastened her bangs, and even now she looked, to Sua's eyes, every bit a young girl: Kim Iseo, CEO of Mystic Entertainment.
Writer Lee Geumsuk greeted her warmly.
"Well, look who it is. The CEO has come down in person?"
"Of course. You're using three Mystic actors. And Sua is still a rookie, so I have to keep an eye on her."
At that, Lee Geumsuk laughed.
"Sua, a rookie. Right. Sua is a rookie. Why does that sit so strangely? The word just doesn't suit her."
"I know. Honestly, for me this feels less like caretaking and more like sightseeing."
"Well, well, CEO. Only now do you show your true heart."
Only after a long conversation did the writer return to Sua's side. This time, though, her hands were not empty. Script in hand, she began pointing out this and that and laying out the day's schedule.
"Sua, the Kim Yu-han makeup was rough, wasn't it? So today we're going to batch as many of the Kim Yu-han scenes as we can."
"I understood that to mean I'll be busy."
"That's right. And your partner, Seonil, will be just as busy along with you."
Scene numbers ran from S#1 all the way to S#??. That was only how it looked from a viewer's seat. An actual drama was not shot that way. You filmed in whatever order let you spend time and movement as efficiently as possible, and edited afterward.
...So this is why actors are incredible.
Sua felt it anew. Actors were amazing. To shoot scenes at random meant, in other words, that you had to equip yourself just as fast with emotions just as random. She was beginning to grasp how enormous a task waited in front of her.
Once the explanation was finished, Lee Geumsuk went over Sua's face inch by inch, the way one might examine a jewel.
"My goodness. My goodness. The makeup is truly perfect. You've manifested exactly as I imagined. Just act well for me."
"Okay."
Around then Lee Geumsuk noticed Park Dohui standing at Sua's side, and seeing her brought back the fact that Director Go Taemin had arrived as well. But for some reason, Lee Geumsuk quietly lifted the corners of her mouth and folded her arms.
Hold on. Don't tell me the one actually falling for Sua is...?
Now, with the real shoot upon them.
Kim Seonil remained alone in the van. But the reason he had stayed was neither to settle his emotions nor to look over the script. His devotion to Special Task Force 808 ran deeper than most, yet this once, the reason was different.
"Oppaaa. Oppaaaa."
Kim Seonil was on a video call with someone.
"Oppa, they start filming today? They gonna film you?"
"Yeah. It starts today."
What the phone screen held was a very young girl. Even at a glance, she did not look well. She was skin and bones, her complexion so pale she seemed ready to collapse at any moment, and the hospital gown wrapped around her already told the story of her condition.
"Oppa, you're gonna be on TV again!"
"That's right."
"You gotta show up lots and lots! So Mom can find us!"
"...Yeah. Right."
This time his answer came slowly. His little sister still believed that if they just held out for ten more nights, their mother would come back. Kim Seonil knew better. A mother who had left her two children behind was never coming back. That would never happen.
It was still vivid. Their mother, telling them to wait at the entrance once they finished bathing at the public bathhouse—that had been the last he ever saw of her. At first he thought he had done something wrong. Maybe she wasn't coming because he still wasn't clean enough. So he washed, and washed, and washed again. But no matter how many times he washed, it was the same. Their mother never appeared, and only long afterward did Kim Seonil understand. They had been abandoned by their only parent.
It was a fairly old story by now.
"Oppaaa. Oppaaaaa."
At the sound of his sister's voice, he pulled free of the thought.
"Yeah. I was listening."
His little sister was squirming, twisting her whole body, and Kim Seonil knew exactly what that meant. The thing she always did whenever she had a favor to ask.
"What, is there something you want?"
"Nooo."
"Should I move you to a better hospital?"
"Nooo."
"Then? I thought there was something you wanted."
"Yeah. There is something. I want."
Only then did she nod. Kim Seonil turned it over. Not something she wanted to have, but something she wanted. What on earth could that be? Unexpectedly, what came back from her a moment later was a question of barely a single phrase.
"Oppa, you doing that again today? Like, killing people?"
"No. It's a different role."
"Wow! So now you can finally be a different person?"
She even clapped, delighted. Right. So she really had hated that he only ever played criminals. After taking on major villain roles, Kim Seonil had earned the nickname Classy Trash from the public and even gained a fandom, but from a young sister's point of view, it made sense that she wouldn't like it. It could not have been welcome.
It was not the first or second time she had asked whether this time, finally, it would be a different role, and from the start he had aimed to see Special Task Force 808 through to completion in order to grant that wish. That was why he had worked so hard. Here, at least, the role he had been given was a police officer. A good guy.
Kim Seonil nodded.
"This time I'm a cop. A good person. If there's a bad person, my job is to arrest them and set them straight. You don't have to worry."
"Huuh? A cop? A nice person?"
But it was then that she tilted her head.
"Nuh-uh. That stuff doesn't matter at all."
"Hm?"
"It's not about what Oppa does."
By then Kim Seonil had no choice but to tilt his head as well. Hadn't she disliked him playing villains? He had never considered any other possibility.
"Then?"
"Oppa always looks unhappy. You're not happy."
"...Unhappy?"
Unhappiness and happiness. Those were things Kim Seonil had never once considered. No—if pressed, he thought of himself as happy. Even if only within villain roles, his acting had been fully acknowledged, and he was earning money beyond any comparison with the past. But a child's words have a way of looking like nothing at all, and still striking, with perfect innocence, at the exact center. Finding it strange, he listened.
"Yeah! Every time Oppa's on TV, you don't look happy. It's always been like that. That's why Mom's scared and won't come find us."
"It's because the roles are serious ones. That's all."
"No! It's different from that! Oppa, this time you have to be happy! Then Mom will be glad too and come back quick!"
"Mm, for now..."
Somehow he could not keep listening. It felt as if a needle were pricking at some spot in his chest, again and again.
"...It's time. I'll call you when the shoot is over."
That was the end of it. He hung up in a hurry, and for a long while he sat with it.
"Unhappy. So I look unhappy..."
If his sister had simply wanted a different role, he had already granted that wish. He, who had always played criminals, had transformed into Lee Kang-cheol, a principled police officer. But if what she had spoken of was his character itself, that was a realm he could not grant. A stickler for principle. Coldness. His acting was, in the end, trapped inside that spectrum.
Kim Seonil gazed for a moment at his own reflection in the van's black window, then slowly let out a sigh and shook his head.
"...Enough useless thoughts."
Right. Right now, the priority was to be faithful to the role he had been given.
Once he had emptied himself completely of useless thoughts, Kim Seonil resolved to think of nothing but the role he had been given: Lee Kang-cheol. As a result, his eyes were now more serious than anyone's. It was only natural. Setting aside the unsettled feeling left by the call, Special Task Force 808 was the work in which he played the lead, Lee Kang-cheol. He had to do well. Without fail.
Nothing but my best. Mistakes are obviously not allowed.
He steeled his resolve again and again.
Lee Sua is a lead just like me, and she's good. But the upper hand is mine.
The acting she had shown during the mock shoot had been overwhelming, and he was not unaware of it. It was simply that he stood in a position where he could never afford to be outdone. This was not merely a matter of pride.
What we're shooting today is the early Lee Kang-cheol. And the early Lee Kang-cheol never accepts Kim Yu-han. He loathes him.
For the sake of the work's completeness alone, it was an extremely important matter. In the early story, Lee Kang-cheol treats Kim Yu-han with something close to hatred. Only natural, when Kim Yu-han shatters every last principle there is. So he absolutely could not lose in acting. The moment he did, it would look as if Lee Kang-cheol could not control Kim Yu-han and had come to accept him to some degree. That would amount to a collapse of the character itself.
After arriving at the set, Kim Seonil received the greetings pouring toward him. Not as Kim Seonil, though. As Lee Kang-cheol. He had already finished putting the role on. He also wondered what Sua, playing Kim Yu-han, might be doing around now, but there was no need to go looking. Even with this many people around, Sua alone stood out at a glance.
As he approached her, he thought, That face is already Kim Yu-han. The makeup, and the expression too. And he even greeted her first.
"Looks like you're ready."
"You too."
"Well. Yeah."
His reply came a beat slow. Looking at the utterly solid set of her expression, he felt, if anything, as if he were less prepared than Sua, the rookie.
Ridiculous. The other person is a rookie.
Straightening his uniform, he said, "Today's the real shoot. Let's give it everything."
"I plan to do it the way I always do."
"The way you always do?"
"Practice like the real thing. The real thing like practice. Like that."
A short exchange. But Kim Seonil felt it. Just as he stood here wearing Lee Kang-cheol, Lee Sua was the same. She sat here having become Kim Yu-han.
"You... I really can't figure you out."
"That's my favorite thing to hear."
What Lee Sua really was, he could not even begin to guess. But even now, one thing felt certain. Namely, that she was an actor he wanted to understand more and more. She was different from the people who seemed to be hiding so much that you eventually started avoiding them. How to put it—a subtle sense that Sua herself, the person in question, was not hiding a single thing.
Suddenly Seo Yeon-ju's words came back to him.
Something she had said after the shoot for Sword, chattering that acting alongside Sua had made her feel as if she had awakened out of nowhere. He was curious. Could he feel something like that too? The duty of having to do well because he was the lead, the unexpected task he had received from his little sister, the anticipation of acting with Lee Sua... Just as his head was growing hopelessly complicated—
"Kim Yu-han, Lee Kang-cheol, standby right now!"
A crew member suddenly bellowed.
"The real shoot starts this instant! Let's move in!"
Kim Seonil and Sua both started walking without either needing to be told. Once again Sua said nothing in particular, and Kim Seonil broke the silence.
"Let's clash. Both of us, with everything we've got."
Sua answered, as always, with the Sua Nod-Nod. Honestly, acting was just something you had no choice but to give your best at, and looking up at Kim Seonil right now, only one thought occurred to her.
No matter when I look, he really is insanely tall...
The real shoot had begun. Everyone took their places according to the roles they had been given. At last, the efforts of everyone involved bore fruit. An environment had been completed in which the actors could concentrate on nothing but acting.
Meanwhile, PD Choi Heewon had his gaze stolen by the monitor. He watched as if spellbound, then moved his hand, zooming in on Kim Yu-han and Lee Kang-cheol—visible down to about the chest—until only their faces showed. And then the two faces filled the screen.
...This two-shot is visually perfect.
Even their faces alone were exact opposites. Lee Kang-cheol, solid-faced, black hair neatly swept back, set against Kim Yu-han, languid, white hair covering his bangs. Their appearances were perfect. From here on, only acting would decide it.
Meanwhile, Sua climbed into the passenger seat of the police car and drew a deep breath.
An arctic fox doesn't tremble. An arctic fox doesn't tremble.
Makeup aside, she even had several pieces of tracking gear stuck to her body for the CG. Every single element that had not existed during the mock shoot was now a reason for her fear.
...No. Actually, wouldn't an arctic fox tremble at least once?
The real thing. The real shoot. The tension soaked into the air was no joke. The crowd that had reminded her of an amusement park would, from this moment, be watching her act. On that point, she could not breathe. Sua wondered whether a day would come when she got used to this too. A day when she would not so much as blink, even in front of an enormous crowd.
But I won't give up. This is the last chance of my life.
In the end she firmed her will. There was no other possibility in her life besides acting anyway, so this time too she intended to find a way through, somehow. Yeah. The way she always had, ever since she started acting.
That was when it happened. A crew member cuffed her right hand as she sat in the passenger seat, fastening it to the handle above. Yeah. From here, it really began. With her still-free left hand, Sua looked over the script.
The two of them succeed in their first arrest.
But the atmosphere is cold beyond measure.
Because Kim Yu-han brought the man in while ignoring every principle.
Lee Kang-cheol grips the wheel, fury barely contained.
They return with the feeling that he has arrested Kim Yu-han as well.
Assigned to Department 808, Kim Yu-han and Lee Kang-cheol set out to arrest a criminal for the first time. They manage, somehow, to catch him—but they realize, to the bone, that they are complete opposites. And neither one yields. In other words, their contest of wills is at its peak.
Sua began to lay this scene over herself.
Sssss—
I am Kim Yu-han. I am Kim Yu-han. I am...
Focusing her mind, it was not difficult. She had experienced this script over a hundred times, and her script proficiency had risen by just as much.
...Kim Yu-han.
And then, a moment later, she somehow felt like humming a little tune. The feeling of her right hand bound by the cuff to the passenger handle, freedom lost; the sensation of a contest of wills so tight it was hard to breathe...
"...Heh."
Because the things that would have been nothing but unpleasant to an ordinary person came to Kim Yu-han as nothing more than amusements. Everything surrounding Sua felt simply delightful.
Thud—!
Right on cue, Kim Seonil climbed into the driver's seat, and at the same moment PD Choi Heewon's voice came through the radio.
"All right, are you both ready? We're going!"
"Action!"
Lee Kang-cheol stomped the accelerator, as if to give his surging emotions a shape. Lee Kang-cheol at the wheel, Kim Yu-han cuffed in the passenger seat. As the two of them headed back toward 808 headquarters, Lee Kang-cheol spoke.
"Mad dog, mad dog.... So there was a reason."
He had realized that the partner assigned to him was not normal, and his head was in a thoroughly complicated state.
"Go on. Make some excuse. Why did you do it?"
His voice sounded as if the emotions were being pressed down hard, but Kim Yu-han only tilted his head. Less as if he were ignoring the words, and more an expression of simply finding them hard to understand. He rolled his eyes as if he had thoughts of his own, and that movement was being caught on camera, vivid and wickedly alluring.
"Can't you hear me? Say something. Anything."
"Mm."
At last Kim Yu-han parted his lips.
"We arrested the criminal, didn't we? What's the problem."
"...You're asking because you don't know?"
For an instant Lee Kang-cheol could not overcome his anger, and he shot Kim Yu-han a glare. Kim Yu-han was merely sightseeing out the window. It was something Lee Kang-cheol's mind could not comprehend. Starting from the flippant attitude, to stealing his car keys out of nowhere and heading out on a whim, all the way to beating the criminal down far past what principle allowed and arresting him that way.
"You must never break principle. No matter what happens."
"Aha. Understood."
Suddenly Kim Yu-han reacted as if he had realized something.
"Mr. Kang-cheol, you're always the type who only warns people with words, aren't you? That's no good. You're exactly like a dog. A detective who barks loud lets the criminal get away."
"Don't play word games. I'm not in the mood."
"I'm not playing right now, though?"
For the first time Kim Yu-han turned his head with the smile gone from his face, and Kim Seonil, glancing at that expression, felt a chill. The words Lee Sua had thrown out did not feel like acting at all.
"...We'll finish this after we reach headquarters."
"No need. We can settle it for sure right now."
Kim Seonil thought, What?
At the same time Sua's left hand moved as naturally as flowing water, and in a split second it was resting on the wheel he held. And the answer to the question—
And in the next instant, strength entered Sua's arm, visible even to the eye, and she tried to wrench the wheel he was gripping. Hard.
Lurch—!
The vehicle rocked violently once. Of course it did. The car had been about to veer completely off its line, and Kim Seonil had caught it only barely, with every ounce of his strength.
"...!"
At the same time he whipped his head around in bewilderment.
"You—what are you—!"
But the words could not finish. One look at the other face, and it was certain.
Lee Sua—no. Kim Yu-han.
He fully intended to flip the car.