Hey, Lee Sua, Fuck

She was blank. Not a single thought would come.

She was learning firsthand that a scream was something you could only manage under a moderate shock. She had just gone and lived through a strange miracle, and her body could do nothing but lock like a stone statue — as if time itself had stopped.

Only long after could Sua retrace, step by step, what she had been through, still carrying an enormous weight of the unfamiliar.

"Again. Again... just one more time..."

She set her hands on the keys once more. Do, mi, sol. Her fingers came down with aching slowness, stiff with awkwardness — ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and yet every note that was born rang perfectly clear.

It was strange. Sua knew she had a tin ear. So how, now, did she know the sound was clear?

Dah-rah-rahn— The playing went on. She had no need of sheet music. The moment she tried to draw the feeling inside her out into melody, her fingers moved without a snag, and a warmth gathered soft around her ears.

Sua had never properly learned an instrument. More precisely, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠she had gone to a piano academy once, hunting for some aptitude, only for her fingers to lock stiff as a robot's; she had quit on the spot. Now was different. Her ten fingers seemed to possess ten separate selves. On the keys, striped like a crosswalk, ten snow hares poised upon her nails went hopping, hopping along.

"...Ha."

A bead of sweat slid down from beneath her ear. It would have been a lie to say she had expected nothing at all. She had even set a figure on it, privately. But what had been given to her now was a result that overran every estimate — the thing people, as a rule, called a miracle. A great, aching fullness rose in Sua's chest.

"The sound... it's really pretty..."

She murmured it as if spellbound. A fruit someone else might spend a lifetime carving and polishing lay in her grasp. Her ears, turned keen in so short a span, kept whispering: set down among music majors this very moment, she would not fall short.

A Special Privilege. They don't call it a Special Privilege for nothing.

Before long Sua stopped playing and checked the new information.

"Ugh, hang on. There's just... so much crammed in my head..."

Sonatas. Hanon. Czerny 30. Scores meant to hone the weapon called the keyboard had seated themselves, perfect, inside her mind. And was that all? As if something else were moving her hand, Sua snatched up a blank page and a ballpoint pen from beside her. Too much was surfacing. She had to write something down.

The staff and its ledger lines, treble clef and bass clef, the names of the notes, accidentals, bar lines and measures — all of it took form with a near-perfect exactness, as if measured by a ruler. At some point she had become a thorough master of the theory as well.

Sua's whole body was soaked through with sweat. Every joint shuddered. It did not come from fear. This, too, was only a kind of thrill.

"...This can't be real."

It had begun as an idle question. Just how far would experiencing a script reach into the body? Now she knew. The reach was enormous. A perfect implementation.

"So this is what injection meant."

Of course, Sua had not come by the result for free. To secure this gain, she had been forced to live the life of the genius Ryu Hyeon-a hundreds of times over — a span of years close to an eternity, most likely. But that was all right. Once an experience ended, it felt like an instant anyway. For a result like this, it had been worth bearing.

Her hands no longer shivered. Only the corners of her mouth drew a quiet arc.

I can take on every kind of genre. The road ahead feels wide open.

What she had to do had grown clearer, too. Meet still better connections, and through them take still better scripts into her hands. That was the foothold that had lifted her.

Imagining the shape of herself a few years on, Sua quietly licked her lips. The thought alone had dried them to paper.

"Any other scripts around?"

She wanted another script, and she wanted it soon. Action, comedy, cyberpunk, fantasy — the world was not short on genres. She wanted every last one of them injected into her body.

And then her phone rang. ♩♪♬

The caller was writer Lee Geumsuk. Once, the name alone would have startled her. What snagged the Sua of now was something else.

Annoying.

The sound spilling from the speaker struck her as raw, unrefined noise — enough that her brow drew tight before she noticed. Somewhere along the way, even her ears had improved.

Turning several impressions over at once, Sua answered, and writer Lee Geumsuk's voice came through bright with expectation.

At last, the time had come to begin principal photography.

Director Kim Jungi's production office was always red. The lighting saw to that from the start, and the posters of the director himself, plastered in every corner, set the final stroke on it. Every one of them was provocative. Every one was an actress, and every one looked as if her clothes had merely been draped across her — and even then, she was holding a provocative pose.

But the room that ought to have been sweltering with heat was, at this moment, bitterly cold. Chief Seo Jae-woo had only just finished a call with Kim Iseo, CEO of Mystic. The substance of it had, of course, been a refusal. Mystic's rookie, Lee Sua, had turned down the audition for the role of a chaebol family's youngest daughter.

Kim Jungi, who had been openly staring at the ass in one of the posters, spoke.

"So."

"A rookie saw the script of my film and still turned it down?"

"I'm sorry."

"No. Answer what I asked. She turned it down. That's what you're saying."

"...Yes. She did."

Chief Seo Jae-woo might as well have been standing barefoot on a road of ice.

Only then did Kim Jungi, who had been raking the provocative posters with a hungry stare, turn slowly to look at him.

"Chief Seo. You ran your mouth so hard about finding a jewel in the rough that I shut down every other actor begging to audition. That's right, isn't it."

"That's right."

"And now, if I call them one by one — this role's still open, come audition — what are they going to think? 'Wow, heaven's luck found me. Is there an actor alive as lucky as I am?' You think they'll even get that far?"

"..."

"No. 'Ah, he must've been lining somebody else up and it fell through, so he called me.' You're telling me they won't think ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that?"

"They will."

"Then the thought just runs on by itself. 'Well, well. Director Kim Jungi, after all he's eaten, still getting turned down wherever he goes. So that was all he amounted to?'"

"..."

"And they look her up and she's a nobody? 'Oh-ho. So Director Kim Jungi gets dumped even by nameless kids?' Will that thought hit them, or won't it."

"..."

"Answer me. Does it, or doesn't it."

"I would never think that, not ever, but some actors might... they might think that way..."

"Then you knew, you bastard!"

Thwack—!

A bundled stack of scripts slammed into Chief Seo Jae-woo's head.

"You either bring me the rookie you were so sure about, or you don't open your mouth about her at all. One of the two, and you make it certain. You dare handle my business like this?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

Chief Seo Jae-woo bowed and bowed, but Kim Jungi's mood was already spoiled past saving.

A moment later, dragging a palm hard down his face to swallow the anger, Kim Jungi spoke.

"Jae-woo."

"Yes, Director."

"Let's hear why she refused. What did she say?"

"Well..."

Seo Jae-woo tested the air, then decided to be honest. It was not a room in which a lie could live.

"She said, since she's a rookie, she'll focus on the project she's already doing..."

"What?"

"That she's grateful for the offer, and she hopes the film does well..."

"Bullshit."

Kim Jungi let out a hollow laugh, dumbfounded — the face of a man told that the moon had risen in broad daylight.

"I'm not even locking her into my film, am I? At best I'm offering her a chance to audition. And what — she won't even show up for that, because she's focusing?"

At Kim Jungi's level, there were plenty of actors who came to show their faces even when rejection was a certainty. It was to look good for the director. They visited on purpose, building an atmosphere of this audition is packed. The more visitors, the larger the director got to feel.

And yet some rookie had dared refuse even to take part in the audition — on the grounds that she would focus on her own work.

"Unbelievable. A rookie, and she can't see what's in front of her?"

"Sir?"

"She's confident that the second she shows up, she's cast. That's why she won't even come to the audition."

Turning a few things back over, Chief Seo nodded.

"She is quite good at acting. I saw it myself..."

"Does that matter right now? You think actors who can act are rare? What matters is she thinks my film is a dick. What's her name."

"Ah, yes. Lee Sua. She's with Mystic."

"Mystic? Where Kim Seonil and Seo Yeon-ju are?"

"That's right."

Kim Jungi rubbed at his temple.

"CEO Kim Iseo. I didn't have her pegged for this. She used to have a decent eye, that one. Now that Kim Seonil and Seo Yeon-ju have gone up a weight class, has her head gotten big? Her judgment's off."

Kim Jungi snorted.

"Stabbing me in the back just to inflate her own rookie? A monster rookie who even turned down a Kim Jungi film — she wants to spin a headline like that and step on me to get there?"

"I don't think that's it. The refusal itself was very polite..."

"Manners aren't words. They're actions. If she had any manners on her, that rookie would've come and shown me her face ages ago, wouldn't she!"

At Kim Jungi's shout, Seo Jae-woo shut his mouth.

"This is already the second time Mystic's given me the cold shoulder. Seo Yeon-ju did the same thing last time. Acting all expensive, the nerve of her..."

"Yes."

Seo Jae-woo nodded.

Kim Jungi's previous film had been all but certain to cast Seo Yeon-ju, until, in the middle of talks to raise the rating from fifteen to adults-only, she had pulled out without hesitation. And the Kim Jungi that Chief Seo knew nursed a longer grudge than any director alive.

"Arrogant little shits. There's a directors' gathering soon anyway. I'll go and say my piece. Tell them not to take these worthless bastards. With nerve like this, what living do they think they're going to keep."

At those vicious words, Chief Seo bowed his head low.

"I'm sorry. Because of me..."

"For the time being, you do the work you're given, and don't get any ideas about doing things your way. Understood? And the chaebol youngest-daughter role — give it to whoever's got the biggest name."

"Yes."

"So it looks like we brushed off a nobody because someone was already locked in. What matters is that no matter the situation, we look like the ones on top. And we are the ones on top, aren't we?"

"Yes!"

After that, publicity for Director Kim Jungi's new film began without delay. Aside from the chaebol daughter, every preparation had already been finished; it could not have been anything but fast.

The new film of a director who had scored a hit with everything he put out was on its way back. Reason enough to set the internet ablaze.

A secret party room in a club.

"Unnies, it's been forever!"

"Wow, how long has it been for all of us?"

"God, it's been ages since we actually took a day off stream."

Five women had gathered in a warm, easy mood.

Neo Live was a corporate VTuber group that had gathered talents of every stripe and was hauling in enormous popularity. All five members already held a solid number of subscribers. They had hustled like mad through the tide of viewers pouring in of late, and right now their stock was running hot.

Hot enough that a video of B reacting to A, a video of C reacting to B reacting to A, a video of D reacting to C reacting to B reacting to A — you could loop nothing but those and still rake in serious money. It helped that Neo Live had yet to stir a single controversy. While other companies blew apart over personality scandals and politics, Neo Live stayed clean, and viewers flooded in without a hitch. In the end, it had become a major corporation.

Today those five had taken a group day off from streaming and gathered in the secret party room, to sweat the stress out and play. And the one the room was watching hardest, now as always —

Ko Eunbi.

"Eunbi, you're insane today, too."

"Why does Eunbi even bother being a VTuber..."

"Right? Her real face is so much prettier..."

The other members, masks hiding the lower half of their faces, had spilled it out almost in one voice.

Ko Eunbi showed her face without a shred of hesitation — twin tails, a Dear My Love dress, long nails blazing with ornate art. Great ribbons crowded her from collar to hem, the look people online usually called menhera.

"Eunbi's Red Pill still hasn't dropped? It'd actually be good for her."

"Right? Should I just blow it open?"

It was hardly the first time she had heard praise like that, and Ko Eunbi's reaction was indifferent. She gave no particular answer, only swept a glance around the room, then parted her lips.

"Save the compliments. More than that — unnie, you look like you're in a good mood today. Before, you looked like someone about to drop dead."

The woman in the black mask went quiet for a moment. That was when the other members all tilted their heads at once.

"Oh. You're right. Unnie's not crying today?"

"She cried every time we saw her for a while, and today she's smiling?"

The woman in the black mask considered it, and then — as if she had reached some decision — she finally spoke.

"Something I've been tearing myself up over for ages finally looks like it's going to be resolved. I thought about it, and I think I can tell you now."

At the weight in her voice, the others killed the music in a hurry. Every one of them filled a glass and pressed on.

"What, what? I thought I was going to die of curiosity this whole time."

"First — I told you that before I debuted as a VTuber, I was aiming to be an actress, right? I practiced acting all day, too."

"Yeah. You talked about that on stream."

"The truth is, the reason I quit was one director. You'd probably know him if you heard. The guy who made that film — 'the real thing among real things'..."

"'The real thing among ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠real things'? I know it. The cruel, sexy one!"

The woman in the black mask nodded.

"Right. But it actually started as a fifteen-rated film. Then later he changed his tune to adults-only. Turns out that's just the kind of director he is. He always flips it to adults-only after the fact."

"Mm. Did a lot change once it went adults-only?"

"Yeah. Out of nowhere, he told me to take my clothes off."

"...What?"

A brief silence.

Before the members, eyes gone wide, the woman in the black mask went on, careful and slow.

"I didn't have a choice. I had to do what he said. He demanded it like it was the most natural thing in the world, and before I knew it I was wondering — is this something I'm supposed to do?"

Her breath came shorter and shorter.

"But what he asked for kept growing. Later he'd make me meet him in private and strip, saying he had to see how it looked on camera before he could know, and he forced the filming, too..."

"That's insane! He made you do that?"

"...If it had only been the filming, maybe. But every single time, he'd say the same thing. What I'm doing right now is me looking for a way to lift you up, a nobody. You ought to be grateful."

"Wow..."

"In the end he demanded I sleep with him. Dropping other celebrities' names, saying those girls had all walked through the same process, so I should relax and just do it..."

As the director's garbage unfolded out of her mouth, the others clicked their tongues, faces twisted shut.

"How is trash like that still working?"

"Someone ought to just cut him down."

"Isn't there a way to destroy him? He's a real piece of shit, isn't he? A guy like that gets to work and be called a director?"

The woman in the black mask nodded.

"That's why I was always such a mess. But it's finally been taken care of."

"Really? How?"

"There were so many victims besides me. We've already filed a tip with an investigative program, all of us together. It'll go public soon. They say it's already reached the reporters, too. I'm a little shaky, but..."

"Unnie won't get hurt over this, right?"

"Don't worry. Some people only suffered the injustice, like me — but there are others who gathered every last piece of evidence."

"Whew. Good. What's that piece-of-trash director's name?"

The others patted the black-masked woman's shoulder, telling her she had been through hell. Ko Eunbi only shook her head, quiet, and the mutter came with it.

"...That actually gives me chills. Good thing I'm a VTuber."

Even as she said it, her eyes were nailed to her phone. Tap, tap — her long nails struck the screen.