Ah, Let Me Explain

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Kim Seonil caught himself drumming his nails against the desk.

The cause was Lee Sua's face. Something dissonant had settled over her features, and it passed into him as a nameless unease.

"...What, did you find one you like?"

A single line, dragged out of him because he couldn't endure the silence.

Sua didn't answer aloud. She only came closer and stacked the scripts on the desk in a neat, deliberate pile, as if the order had been decided well in advance.

"I think this is the sequence. Is it right?"

At a glance, it was practically an answer to a different question. He'd told her to pick the best script, and here she was discussing ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠order. Ridiculous, wasn't it? And yet there was certainty in Sua's expression.

"All five of them are scripts from a single drama, aren't they?"

"..."

Kim Seonil's brow twitched.

Each script was different enough to pass for another genre entirely, and the character names were nothing but letters of the alphabet. Had Sua not possessed the Special Privilege, she would have made a spectacular fool of herself. It was a trap designed with a single purpose: to catch her.

Except Sua came with a variable. The Special Privilege.

"So this only counts as having seen one script. Please give me the next."

She said it as politely as she could manage.

Naturally, the words landed on Kim Seonil with an entirely different weight. He had taken a clean hit, and the smile was already gone from his face.

...How?

Questions crowded his head. The scripts had been edited with exquisite care. Genre, characters, even the setting—every one of them felt like an entirely different drama. If Sua had connected even two, he would have called it impressive. Three, and he would have been openly astonished.

But the answer Lee Sua produced belonged to another order entirely. Right in front of him, as if daring him to watch, she had arranged all five in the correct order. A genius no simple description could capture.

The edits can't have been sloppy.

No. Impossible. Even Kim Seonil, the first time he looked them over, had taken them for scripts from separate dramas.

Which left only one meaning.

She really has an eye that good? A nobody with not a single credit to her name, who claims she only acts as a hobby?

He had no choice but to admit it. Lee Sua's eye was on another level.

"Your eye is exceptional. Calling it professional-grade doesn't even cover it."

"That's a relief."

"This is well past a relief..."

Kim Seonil didn't finish. He had nearly said something about a once-in-a-millennium gift, and only just managed to swallow it.

"...You might even be better than I am."

"You said your eyes weren't good. That could be it."

"..."

Sua only wanted to end the moment with a polite reply. To Kim Seonil, of course, it arrived as something else entirely, and sank in without mercy.

"Haha!"

Laughter burst out beside them.

"See? Didn't I tell you Sua was different? Watching you take a hit that clean makes me feel better all the way down."

Sua barely swallowed the gasp that tried to escape. Astonishingly, the voice belonged to Seo Yeon-ju.

Their eyes met—Sua still somewhat flustered—and Seo Yeon-ju smiled, bright as anything. Sua thought she looked like a lively rabbit that had taken human shape. A brightness without edges. An innocence without a stain. Looking at Seo Yeon-ju, those were the things you felt.

The others made no effort to hide their surprise ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠either. Jung Soyen and writer Lee Geumsuk studied the arranged scripts for a long while, then came over and cautiously patted Sua's shoulder, her arm, their faces pure shock.

"Sua, you must have been so thrown, weren't you? The rest of us were all against it, but Seonil is just that particular. Though I think I'm the one who's more thrown. How did you get the order right, too?"

"We stood by and watched, so we aren't without blame. Allow me to apologize. We were curious what kind of eye you had. And we are genuinely astonished. It's uncanny."

Sua could only feel dazed.

Wait. They weren't all in on it together?

The air wasn't Kim Seonil's at all. It was people worried only for Sua, people busy soothing only her. Quite different from what she had expected.

It must have shown. Seo Yeon-ju asked.

"Sua, what's wrong?"

"No, it's just..."

Sua worked her lips, then answered.

"...It just hit me that there isn't a single person on Kim Seonil's side."

"What?"

The judges traded a look.

"Hahaha—!"

A very large laugh broke loose. Sua was simply bewildered. Huh. She ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hadn't said it to be funny.

Seo Yeon-ju slipped an arm through hers.

"Of course not. Who would take that garbage's side? People call him Classy Trash, but honestly, take the acting away and trash is the right word. He's useless."

Sua held her breath. Whoa. Seo Yeon-ju had linked arms with her.

Physical contact with a heavyweight actress came with far more tension than she had expected. She couldn't do a thing but pour cold sweat, and in the meantime writer Lee Geumsuk spread out a different set of scripts.

"Sua, this is pure curiosity on my part, but what about these? Would you pick the one you like best?"

"Hmm..."

Sua looked through the scripts one by one. And of course she didn't forget to turn the pages at a reasonable pace, pretending to read. Judge by touch alone, and she'd look like a shaman.

The appraisal didn't take long. Around then, she also found a trick.

Oh? I can experience these as an extra, too?

Even an extra role that ended in a single line of dialogue registered as a completed experience if she chose it. A neat little method for reading a script's grade in an instant.

There were four in all, but three of them didn't so much as catch her eye. The reason was obvious.

Grade 1? It says Grade 1?

A Grade 1 was different from the notification onward. Did the thing just flash? Sua pointed at it without a moment's hesitation.

"I like this one."

Admiration burst from across the table at once.

"Oh? She picked this writer's next project dead on?"

"She's insane. Insane...! It has to be fate...!"

"...This is truly uncanny. How is this possible?"

But unlike the others, who only grew more delighted, Sua's face turned gradually strange. No—honestly, she was a little disappointed.

"...Um. Is the good opportunity over with this?"

She asked out of genuine curiosity. They had said they would give her a good opportunity, and all they kept doing was making her look at scripts.

The reaction was larger than she expected. Every one of them went wide-eyed, and then pale.

"Ah, Sua. That's—"

"Sua, that isn't—"

Sua went on, perfectly calm.

"It's nothing else. If we're done, I was just going to go home."

A brief silence.

"Sua, wait. Sua!"

Out of nowhere, Seo Yeon-ju wrapped both arms around Sua's waist.

"Of course this isn't the end! If anything, the real beginning starts now. Come on, sit with me first."

"...Eh?"

"You're not going anywhere. I'll hold on tight."

Seo Yeon-ju dropped back into her seat, and Sua came down naturally onto her thigh.

A thought flickered past—was this really all right?—while a plush give and a clean scent tickled the tip of her nose.

"That's right. Up to now we've only been feeding our own curiosity. From here on, we'll be giving you a tremendous reward."

"Sua, just stay a moment."

It wasn't only Seo Yeon-ju. Every judge was holding onto her. An experience Sua was having for the first time.

"Y-yes?"

Her brain shorted out. She sat frozen, stammering, for a long while, until writer Lee Geumsuk spoke.

"Since it's come to this, let's get to the point. The script you just said you liked—you remember it?"

"Yes."

"That's a major work we're honing right now. Script, direction, casting. We're throwing everything we have at it."

"It seemed like it."

The notification itself had been sparkling like mad. Grade 1, no less.

And a moment later, writer Lee Geumsuk said something she could not believe.

"We want to cast you."

"Cast me?"

"Yes. Cast you. You take one of the roles, stand in front of the camera, act, and it airs as a drama."

"Ack."

Sua bit her own tongue. At the same time, every movement stopped. From the outside she looked ice-cold, but in truth she had simply broken down completely.

Cast me? Me? They're casting me in a Grade 1 script?

A beat late, her hands began to tremble.

Just like that? This suddenly?

Sua's head creaked as it turned toward writer Lee Geumsuk. Fortunately, the other woman didn't read the awkwardness in it.

"A casting in this writer's drama.... That's.... Wasn't that something you only get by winning an audition...?"

"You don't need one. You proved it right in front of us. And you made a show of it."

"Uh..."

Sua lost her words.

When she had dropped out of the audition, she had set a great many things down. She had meant to build her filmography carefully, from the ground up—and this was how it went? Really? Actually?

Sua rose quietly from her seat.

"...I'll just step out to the restroom."

For now, that was the best she could do. She felt ready to start bouncing in place, and the sensation of sitting on Seo Yeon-ju's thigh was strange besides. She needed to get her head together.

The restroom. Sua raked a hand back through her hair, again and again.

"Auuu.... I'm losing it. I'm shaking. I'm shaking."

The chance to join writer Lee Geumsuk's next project was a hope so fierce it was almost violent. Fierce enough that she wanted to jump in place right there.

Then, suddenly, something occurred to her.

"But why is everyone being weirdly nice to me?"

Looking back through her memories, praise had been a rare thing.

Right. That was all she had ever heard.

What she had been living through lately was completely different. The Snack Movie people showering her with praise. Seo Yeon-ju treating her with an odd, easy closeness. And now a room that tried to physically stop her from leaving, when all she had done was say she was going home.

"Yeah. They're definitely thinking well of me."

She turned the difference between then and now over in her mind. Turned it, and turned it again.

"Ah?"

Something clicked.

Come to think of it, I've never actually been good at anything.

Wherever she went, a pretty face bought her goodwill, but the time she got to enjoy that popularity was always short. In the end, all that remained was everyone growing afraid of Sua, or avoiding her.

"But I'm pretty good at acting now, aren't I?"

Then—

"Wait. Is this...!"

Sua's eyes went wide.

The her of now had a clear strength besides her looks. Maybe that was why the sharp cast of her face was working as an advantage. Three Special Privileges had locked together in harmony.

So from here on, could she push a little? Ask for what she wanted the moment she wanted it? Try acting tough?

Would that actually count as a strength?

Sua set both hands on the sink with a thunk.

"What if I just commit, and go all in with this vibe?"

This script was Grade 1. Grade 1, no less. Pull it off properly, and it was a life turned around.

She promptly tapped her own cheeks. Tap, tap, tap.

"...Yeah. Let's push it for real this once. Act well when it's time to act, and be the kind of bitch who doesn't look easy to handle."

In her head, she drew a picture of herself succeeding.

...Whoa. Just thinking about it felt good.

All at once she remembered the boxing film among the scripts she had just experienced. Facing the mirror, she threw punches, wild and fast.

Shk. Shk-shk.

Was the script rubbing off on her a little? She felt like she was actually good at this. Sua let the thrill out by punching empty air.

"This isn't me actually about to make it, is it? Standing shoulder to shoulder with the big actors someday, winning awards...?"

Shk! Shk-shk!

Pop, pop. Happy fantasies went off in her head like fireworks.

"My own fan club. Press conferences..."

Sh-sh-shk! A hard uppercut.

That was when it happened.

A sudden prickle of wrongness turned her head.

"..."

Another customer from the café was standing there. Their eyes met.

Sua hid both hands behind her back at once.

"Ah, let me explain."

A brief silence. It felt as if someone had a hand around her throat.

"I'm an aspiring actress. This is... a boxing movie..."

"Ah—ah, no, I'm sorry...!"

They didn't even give her room to finish. They simply slipped away and fled.

Left alone, Sua quietly froze. Very quietly. Without so much as a twitch.

Only her deeply bowed face was red enough to burst.

Meanwhile, the ones left behind were busy discussing Sua.

"Sua's a tough one, just as I expected. I didn't think she wouldn't accept my next project on the spot."

At writer Lee Geumsuk's words, Seo Yeon-ju nodded.

"Sharp eyes, good acting, and a spine of steel. You saw it, didn't you? She doesn't give an inch, even in front of Kim Seonil."

"Haha. To think we'd end up watching a rookie's mood..."

The awe at a monstrous newcomer was real enough, but the actual point under discussion was something else. Lee Sua's role.

Each of them had plenty to say.

"Doesn't this role fit? The personality and all."

"Then it gets too obvious. I think this one's better."

"Among the women's roles, this is still the..."

The difference of opinion refused to close. Even so, far ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠from anyone getting angry, smiles were everywhere.

"Whatever she does, I'm looking forward to it. It's been a long time since I looked forward to something like this."

"Same here."

That was when Sua appeared.

Had it been hot in there? Her face was quite red.

Jung Soyen spoke.

"Sua, could you act any bit of the Kim Hyo-jin role for us?"

"Ah. Yes."

Sua took the script without much thought and nodded.

Ack.

A moment later, she had no choice but to quietly bite her tongue.

There wasn't one. No completed experience for the role of Kim Hyo-jin.

Rustle. Rustle.

Sua kept pretending to look through the script, but in truth the cold sweat was pouring off her. This was a test set on a Grade 1 script, no less. She absolutely had to pass, and no matter how she looked, that role was not there.

Seo Yeon-ju smiled, bright and easy.

"Sua, you can keep it light. Light!"

Rustle. Rustle.

But Sua was only troubled.

Why, of every role there was, did it have to be that one? They had probably handed her something with fairly little weight out of consideration for a newcomer, and for Sua that was poison.

Give up?

No. No.

She had just decided, moments ago, to live as a crazy bitch!

At last, finished deliberating, Sua stopped looking at the script. In the same instant, she tossed it to the floor with a thud.

Nothing for it. This really was the only way.

"I have no intention of keeping it light."

"...?"

Sure enough, every face showed surprise. Fair enough. A newcomer had just thrown the script. Sua herself wasn't certain this was right, but with every eye on her, she went on as if nothing were wrong, doing her best to hide a body that felt ready to shake apart.