Chapter 82
The Count's Secret Maid - Chapter 82
Translation: godsn
However, it wasn't long before he handed me the letter. I bowed deeply once more and expressed my gratitude. The letter in my hand felt strangely heavy. It was the very letter I had been waiting for so desperately, yet now it only weighed on me. When I pressed it against my chest, I could feel my heart pounding wildly.
"If you have nothing further to say, may I go inside now? I'd like to deliver it to the Young Master as soon as possible."
"One more thing."
"Yes."
"That person you mentioned meeting. By any chance......"
"......"
"Was she... a woman?"
My eyes, which had been fixed on the floor, widened abruptly. My lips trembled as something surged up my throat, but I swallowed it back down. Then, with great effort, I managed to force out my voice.
"No. It was a man."
"...... I see. If you find out where you got it from, report it to me immediately."
"Understood."
Only then did Vincent step aside. I immediately entered Robert's room. That brief moment—brushing past him and closing the door—felt longer than any other.
Before the door could fully close, a large hand suddenly shot out. The tip of a shoe wedged into the gap, preventing the door from shutting. Vincent spoke urgently.
"Anything, even the smallest detail. If you find out, tell me."
"......"
"I'm counting on you."
"...... Understood."
The hand holding the door fell away. The shoe retreated. As the door slammed shut, the strength drained from my legs. I staggered, nearly collapsing, then jolted in alarm—afraid he might have noticed my tension. Crawling forward on unsteady limbs, I only managed to clutch at my trembling heart once I had put some distance between myself and the door.
Damn it. Had my tension already faded? I told myself to be careful. It seemed my nerves, once sharp, had dulled in the false comfort of peace. I lamented the mistake I had made, too preoccupied with the thought of making Robert happy. I had overlooked how even the smallest trace could bring forth so much.
I thought back to Vincent, who had been interrogating me earlier. What had he wanted to know? Could it be......
"If he's looking for me."
No way.
Really, no way.
I let out a hollow laugh. There was no chance. Even face to face like this, he hadn't recognized me. I shouldn't delude myself. No matter the circumstances, I was just a maid who had fled the Count's household. Nothing more than an employer and employee. He had no reason to look for me. Was he afraid I might reveal his secret? But that secret was useless now.
Unless someone told him, he could die and be reborn without ever knowing who I was. No—even if someone told him, would he even believe it?
The words I spat out stabbed at my chest. There must be another reason.
But... if he really was looking for me, would I have been happy? I wasn't sure. My conflicting desires—wanting it to be true and not wanting it at the same time—clashed painfully. I pressed a finger firmly against my chest. What would I even do if he was looking for me? Nothing would change.
When I lifted my head, Robert was still asleep. After all that waiting, I had finally brought the letter, only to...
"I'll give it to him later."
As a surprise gift when the child woke up. He'd be overjoyed. That was enough for now. I squeezed my eyes shut, suppressing the emotions threatening to burst forth.
Darkness pooled on the floor. It crept upward, coiling around my ankles. Running was pointless.
In the pitch-black void where even moonlight couldn't reach, only the sound of shallow breathing echoed. It wasn't mine. Though I was clearly alone, the sound came from somewhere.
Following it, I took a step forward. The moment I did, a pale hand shot out from the darkness and seized my ankle.
Startled, I jerked away, and it released me without resistance. The fallen hand vanished back into the shadows.
From the impenetrable darkness, a hoarse voice echoed once more.
'......
The breathing grew ragged.
"Fo... Ah..."
A voice, broken by labored breaths, mumbled incoherently. It was too fragmented to make out. I strained to listen, focusing intently on the sound.
Then, in an instant—
"Paula."
A clear voice rang out, and moonlight poured in.
My vision brightened. Only then did I realize someone was sitting before me. Their shoulders slumped heavily, head bowed low.
Who are you? I asked, but there was no response. I bent forward and sat down in front of them.
Hey. I grabbed their shoulders and shook them. At that, they reacted—snatching my hand and shoving me away with surprising force. I toppled backward from the impact.
Startled, I steadied myself and quickly scanned the figure before me. Slowly, they lifted their head.
The moment I saw their face, my eyes widened in shock.
You're...
"Gasp!"
My eyes flew open. Frantically, I glanced around as if searching for something. Darkness. Darkness. More darkness. Nothing but pitch black. Unable to bear it, I sat up.
My fingers brushed against the sheets, and as my eyes adjusted to the dark, I swiftly scanned the room. Only when I recognized where I was did the trapped breath finally escape my lungs.
Panting, I tried to steady my breathing when something struck the back of my head. A pillow tumbled down beside me.
"Shut up."
Alicia turned over in irritation, her back now facing me. I stared blankly at her before clutching the sheets. After swallowing hard a few times, I curled into myself.
Again. This dream again. This nightmare again. My entire body felt clammy, as if drenched in cold water. The old nightmare had dredged up sensations I'd tried to forget. Whispers echoed in my ears—Run. Run away. Please, just go.
I have to leave.
The thought struck me abruptly. The tension I'd loosened coiled tightly around me once more.
When I realized I'd returned to this place, I was terrified. So utterly terrified that for days, I trembled under the sheets every night, paralyzed by fear. There was nothing else I could do. The sudden reality was too much to bear.
I was afraid of this place. Beyond the warm memories lurked terror. I had seen someone who had been kind to me bleed out and die. Someone had tried to kill me, too.
This was the place that taught me a lavish life didn't guarantee happiness. Even now, the memories of that day resurface vividly, as if demanding I never forget.
Countless times, I considered running away. But the surroundings were nothing but dense forest, and with no sense of where it began or ended, getting lost would be disastrous. It was far too dangerous to venture out recklessly.
Not that there was no way at all.
That place—the hidden path in the woods.
Long ago, Vincent had taken me there just once. A secret passage, he'd called it. If his words were true, it was the only way to escape the mansion unnoticed.
It must still be there.
But reaching it would be difficult. If I disappeared for too long, someone would notice. And wandering the woods alone was fraught with danger. The only consolation was the probationary period. Once it ended, maybe then I could leave?
At first, it was for my own safety. But as I grew accustomed to life here, the suffocating fear gradually faded. Perhaps, unlike what I'd imagined, there was no real threat to me. Complacent as it might be, without danger, fear dulled.
Living here, I hadn't seen the butler, Isabella, or even the few servants I'd occasionally noticed. No one in this mansion knew me. That realization, both eerie and oddly comforting, made me think—just one more day.
And then I met Vincent. I learned that he was living well. They say he can see now. That's good. What a relief.
But what about the others? I was curious. If I stayed just one more day, wouldn't I be able to find out? Wouldn't I get to see them too?
Just one more day, one more, until the temporary employment period ends. Because when that time comes, even if I want to stay, I'll have to leave. It would give me a reason to leave.
But... after meeting Vincent yesterday, my mind changed. What if they discover I'm that maid? I can't imagine any good outcome coming from that.
It's not the punishment for running away that scares me. The butler who tried to kill me was frightening, but even that I could endure. My life is more accustomed to death anyway. What truly terrifies me...
Is disappointing him.
That's why I didn't want to stay long. The reason I suppressed my swelling expectations was because of that.
"Get a grip."
There's not much time left now. I slapped both cheeks sharply to pull myself together.
"Hey, are you going to keep doing that?"
"Doing what?"
From the morning, Alicia had been huffing irritably. As I rubbed my stinging cheeks and gave her a questioning look, she grabbed a pillow and threw it.
"You're so noisy every night! If you're going to groan, go outside! You ruined my sleep! You're making my skin worse, you're so annoying!"
Alicia peered at her reflection in the mirror. She grumbled about her ruined nails.
I stared blankly at Alicia like that. Honestly, I found it impressive how she never skipped her morning routine. Unlike me, counting down the days until I could leave, Alicia seemed to grow more determined to stay here.
At first, she threw all kinds of tantrums, but at some point, Alicia began adapting well to life here. Now she obediently did her assigned tasks and no longer caused accidents by losing her temper.
Not only that, but she'd also learned to subtly cater to Audrey and Joelli's whims. This was the first time I'd seen Alicia try to please anyone other than Father. The unfamiliar sight was almost frightening.
Alicia was a girl who knew exactly how to win people over. Not long ago, I'd seen her laughing and chatting with the housemaids. From their conversation, I realized Alicia was gathering information about Vincent. 'But Alicia, have you ever seen the master of this estate?' 'I heard he's incredibly handsome.' 'Of course. I see him often. In fact, I know him very well.' Alicia smiled haughtily. The surrounding maids looked puzzled. 'What do you mean, you know him well?' 'Well... let's just say we might have had a connection in the past.' Tossing her long hair behind her ear, Alicia lifted her chin. Though the maids pressed for more details, she didn't continue, seeming to enjoy their curious gazes.
Listening to that conversation, I was so dumbfounded I lost my words. Anyone hearing this would think she had some special relationship with Vincent. Clicking my tongue at her shameless lies, I avoided the scene. Since then, I'd often spotted Alicia mingling with other maids and attendants.
"Did you find out anything good?"
I bluntly asked while watching Alicia focus on her reflection. She glanced at me through the mirror and suddenly smirked.
"Well... who knows—"
The way she deliberately trailed off suggested she'd made some progress. Though curious, I didn't press further.
After a quick wash, I changed clothes. As I steeled myself for another day before leaving the room, I felt a prickling gaze on my back. Turning around, I saw Alicia—now fully dressed—staring vacantly at me.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"It's nothing."
Alicia shrugged her shoulders. Then she slipped out ahead of me. Though puzzled by her behavior, I followed after her.