Chapter 47
Chapter 47
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 23
Chapter Title: King of the Unemployed (1)
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The court officials' worries weren't entirely off base.
This prohibition decree wasn't aimed at the common folk—it targeted the yangban class.
Truth be told, I hadn't made great use of my knowledge of future history up to now.
And why would I? I only knew the broad strokes, nothing specific enough to exploit. Hate to admit it, but without the status window, I'd probably be dead by now.
But with this prohibition campaign, I pushed forward with real confidence.
I had some intel on this decree from college lectures.
Back in my Korean university days, I remembered the Diary of the Royal Secretariat coming up once as a class example.
We usually tackled private docs like contracts or letters in classical Chinese readings—famous official records like that weren't common.
It was the prof who explained the Joseon civil service system to us. He'd mentioned some AI project on the diaries—guess that's why.
Anyway, the entry itself was a riot.
Yeongjo executes a high-ranking military officer but tastes the booze from a regular commoner and lets him go with a "It's vinegar."
Then he brags for pages about his own fairness in personally reviewing the unjustly accused (even if he had to stage it).
But the part that caught my eye was different.
The officials who honestly reported tasting booze got fired. The ones who arrested him ended up arrested themselves.
The commoner was a former soldier. Yeongjo even goes out of his way to appoint him properly in the military, saying "If he's marked as arrested now, it'll be hard for him to survive later—treat him as fully discharged."
Anyone not an idiot could read the message.
This crackdown isn't about rounding up commoners to offer up. If you're gonna do it, target the yangban—nab only plebs, and you're the one getting canned.
While we're at it, knocking out the key goal of exile in one go takes meticulous prep.
Right now's the time to focus on making money.
Crime investigations are strict enforcement of the law—never a sideshow.
So I set up a temporary Prohibition Investigation Office in one of my secured cheap Seoul spots and brought in the suspects one by one.
"If there's nuruk in here, this is definitely booze."
"Aigoo, sir. Absolutely not. This is just vinegar. This humble one has sold gukbap at Namdaemun for three generations—vinegar's essential for seasoning the pots."
"We'll see if you're telling the truth right now."
I took the stick and carefully stirred the jar.
Hygiene? It'll be fine. Alcohol disinfects. The booze stench is overpowering. Whew. At least pretend to hide it.
Moments later, as expected, a faint metallic clink came from deep inside.
Not my ears—the vibration through the stick and into my hand. Only I noticed.
I pulled it out immediately.
"The nuruk floated up when stirred—this ain't booze."
"Exactly, sir. Who'd lie to a noble like you?"
"We'll inspect this vinegar jar thoroughly again before returning it. Write down your name and address here and go."
"Truly impartial, sir. As expected, one swing of the mighty Dog-Beating Stick reveals all truth."
This punk.
I charged him with "improper conduct drawing suspicion" and had him flogged thirty strokes with a switch—not by Eoji, so in Joseon terms, that's a slap on the wrist and release.
The next guy had booze, but it was the sweet rice wine Yeongjo allowed.
But no matter how much I stirred with the stick, nothing snagged.
I glared like Judge Bao and bellowed.
"You scoundrel! How dare you brew strictly forbidden liquor!"
"B-but I heard sweet rice wine was okay, sir. The court uses it too, so I made some to offer up and scrape by."
"Does this look like sweet rice wine to your eyes? Someone outside! Come in and taste this!"
In came my fully bribed Inspectorate's Prohibition Inspector, plus a few Songpa Naru youth squad hires. They sampled on my order and looked shocked one and all.
"Whoa, this is straight-up potent soju."
"Even I who chug makgeolli—this'd floor me in one sip."
"Nose burned from the booze stink the second he walked in—mystery solved."
With reality thus rewritten, I pointed accusingly and pressed the attack.
"A worm like you deserves immediate arrest and public execution at Donggyo, east of the walls. Flogging first, then remand. Eoji!"
At that cue, Eoji—suddenly my Inspectorate assistant—roared and slammed his staff on the floor. A short, vicious crack rang out; the floor splintered, and the staff shattered.
The audiovisual demo worked wonders. The guy flattened instantly.
"I've committed a capital crime! Mercy, sir—spare my life!"
"Staff's broken—no choice. This soju's confiscated first. When did you brew it?"
Joseon folks were sharp, as expected.
"How's liquor made overnight? Brewed it before the decree. I'm ignorant—didn't know the law was this strict. Forgive me just once!"
"Brewed pre-decree? Mitigating factor. Get signatures from three witnesses before I fix this staff, and you'll skip the flogging. Then I'll return the jar—dump this soju down the latrine and reflect."
"S-such leniency, sir. I'll obey at once."
Merchant like him's got rich buddies aplenty.
And like scholars speak through writing, merchants speak through cash. How fancy that "signature" is will sway my ruling.
After shaking down about twenty like that, the "fines" piled up nicely.
Smart Joseonites knew copper coins from many hands taint liquor, ruining the taste.
So mostly silver or other nobles—non-reactive for food too. Citizens of a scientific monarchy, living scientifically.
The total idiots who didn't get it? Just confiscated the booze. Save it to sell later.
No beatings or executions. We're all just trying to eat—push 'em to the brink, and backlash bites.
I left "wiggle room" everywhere.
First, my investigation zone was just a slice of Hanseong overall.
Not enough manpower, power, or time to vacuum the whole city. Plus, leave scraps for other offices' Prohibition squads, or petitions fly immediately.
"Inspectorate's Kim Unhaeng abuses prohibition inspections to harass commoners and take bribes—market folk's resentment pierces the heavens."
Horrifying to imagine.
Not my crime—that's Yeongjo's rage at early sabotage of his pet law.
So I stuck to the "territory" of my Dog-Beating Stick faction, secured via Training Bureau ties.
That's why we infiltrated the markets pre-decree.
Bribes, given or taken, can't stay 100% hidden. So build the "base" to keep it off public radar first.
Here, our seized market turf from the Gangs of Seoul was recognized as ours.
Plus, restraint on punishment was long-term play.
Other groups are brute-forcing now—beating, smashing, extorting.
Nothing but slaughtering the golden goose, plucking feathers, burning the nest.
Now, those "forgiven" by me will come for voluntary "inspections" regularly.
If word spreads of my mercy, territory expands. Who'd refuse Dog-Beating Stick protection?
Like in Jiksan and Mokcheon, truth's eternal.
Exhaust extremes, restore rites—the realm submits itself.
I split some of that hard-earned cash and kept investing in the ranch.
Placed it between the capital and Songpa Naru for easy access amid other business.
No modern map, so no exact spot.
But Joseon-wise, I knew.
Jeon-got Ranch. Aka Salgoti Ranch. Tiny bridge by that name near Wangsimni, I think.
Yeonam Park Jiwon said "Joseon's only big ranch is Jeju," but smaller ones dotted the mainland.
Problem: like most, this one belonged to the Royal Stables Office—royal property.
The ranch overseers wielded power even over magistrates.
Ranch vs. office clashes? Plenty.
Fences and facilities guzzle materials and funds. King's not footing it—extort locals.
Labor too. Folks even for the tiger-like guards who treat royal ranch like a convenience store kimbap spot.
For self-sufficiency, overseers expanded arbitrarily, encircling royal land with private plots.
Tobacco, peppers, livestock. Fiefdom logic—even herdsboys grasp feudalism.
And the land I bought via Pyo Cheolju for Crown Prince Guard's Jo Giming? Exactly that.
By mid-May, my enforcement method spread to the Inspectorate guys and Dog-Beating Stick crew.
So I finally squeezed in a ranch visit. Second time in person.
Our pony—living his best sire life—recognized me after ages and charged over.
"Wha—hey! Whoa!"
"No, Eoji. Back off. Don't hit the horse. Pricey one."
I calmed Pony with a gesture, then mounted as he knelt gladly (You a camel?). Toured the ranch.
Not huge, but solid. Sturdy fences, tough hired herdsmen.
"Sorry for dumping it all on you without frequent checks. Going well?"
Pyo Cheolju, my guide, bowed.
"A scholar's beard tells your burdens—no need to fret. Since your last visit, even the scrawny ones perked up. Smooth sailing."
Horse social dynamics? Way more complex than I thought. Didn't know till I got the skill.
Assumed alpha stallion leads all—not quite.
I isolated misfits and ordered proper care for the sick/injured—even vets miss visual cues.
Horses don't pop pups like rats.
But warrior Pyo Cheolju spotted changes.
"What'd I do? Just petted a few. Coincidence. Old Man Song from home helped more."
Old Man Song, the estate manager Se Hwa mentioned? Our house steward.
Free servant, not slave. Unlike lowborn kid Jangbok, suited for outside dealings.
So I dispatched him as proxy often.
Unlike body servant Jangbok, house steward Song needed Dad's okay—but he'd clocked me as de facto head.
Veteran Song blended elder authority (unbeatable for Joseonites) with my instructions.
"Horses hate hot feed. Overheats, they drop dead. Boil bran and fodder, cool it, fresh water often. Sent our house pony mare as broodmare end of March—foal taking?"
Pyo Cheolju initially blew off the servant but straightened post my letter.
"Yes. Prime stud—vitality's strong."
"Partly, but old books too. Rites of Zhou: one stallion per four mares. Book of Rites, Monthly Ordinances: release stallions in third month."
"...Jangdong Kim clan has literate stewards too?"
"Nah. All from our second young master—er, master's learning. Served since birth, never saw him ranch—but books teach all, huh. Ah, those two look stunted and mean—geld 'em before trouble."
Roughly that process, and by prohibition time, initial investments stabilized.
But ranch success benefits more than me.
Jo Giming invested heavier, gains bigger.
I handle horses; he networks military—fruits showing. Most bought horses pre-contracted for loans.
Here, a sly thought hit.
"Too chummy with Jo Giming's trouble."
He's Soron with clanmates Jo Hyeonmyeong, Jo Jaeho, etc.
Not an Im In-gon plotting Soron doom for Noron, but risks Noron ire. History favors Noron till Regency era.
Less Crown Prince Academy time now, but his business visit drops burden our house.
Send him elsewhere?
Far from Seoul.
Core goal needs doing anyway—two birds, one stone.
Park him on some island, manage his funds myself—monopolize ranch. Noron chills, knowing I'm not his sidekick.
But even as Inspectorate field agent, impeachment ain't easy—why Special Branches get leeway.
Flimsy grounds on Pungyang Jo? I'd get wrecked. Like Yi Taejung impeaching Soron boss Yi Gwangjo, ending up "Three Years in Mt. Geumgang Vlog."
Mid-thought, Pyo Cheolju muttered low.
"Old Song's wise, but more—these horses know a good master. Guard Captain Jo's duties keep him away; beasts don't care. They follow who shows face and pets."
Tone over words screamed intent. I barely resisted whipping around.
"Oh ho, this punk?"
Bureaucrat-wise, Jo Giming's stance natural. Scholar meddling in business details? Scandalous—delegate to hires normally.
But Pyo likened himself to the horses.
Hothead leaning Soron, but he knows Noron's the tide.
Don't bite yet. Betray Yeongjo, then Soron—why not me next?
Trusting him vs. Pungyang Jo? Spear vs. tank.
He dropped more hints after.
Easy to dupe absent Jo Giming, skew profits our way, etc.
Haha, sure. And he'd pitch the same to Jo Giming situationally.
I just fed him some awed lines like I'd bought it and bounced.
Too soon. Wait for Pony IIIs, ranch routine locked—then use Pyo.
But unlike my dreams of love and peace, Soron clash came quick.
1. The early commoner tale's the famous Yu Se-gyo anecdote. His unit, Gajeonbyeolcho, was one of the king's guards—not inner circle, but central army.
Couldn't fit it all here, but Yeongjo pulls funny stuff that day. One bit:
Yu released post-flogging. Prime Minister Kim Sang-ro pipes up.
"Vinegar, but why flog?"
"A gentleman reveals the petty man; liquor reveals vinegar."
Real booze sellers caught too, tasted it—basically admits Yu's was booze-adjacent vinegar.
Then brags on reviewing the wronged, blasts officials. Kim Sang-ro, sighing-ish:
"Sun's set—how about some 'tea'?"
Record: "Majesty partook of tea [上進御]." No fuss.
Tea post-sunset weird; later drug talk hints "tea" might be pine liquor Yeongjo sipped as "medicine" during prohibition—Songjeolcha.
2. Copper's antibacterial, used in food/booze (clean only). Silver too—cowboys dropped silver dollars in milk.
Lit grad Kim Unhaeng's "science" often wrong. Can't judge vinegar vs. booze by nuruk float (no need anyway).