Chapter 19
Chapter 19
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 19
Chapter Title: Sniper Elite (3)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Did the Inspector General Yi Ilje swagger into the county office with his entourage and take his seat?
No.
How nice that would be.
As I've said several times, the Inspector General is a high official among high officials.
A frugal visit with a few aides for inspection duties? That never happens.
This bastard brought a full Inspector General procession of over a hundred regular horses, counting just the mounts.
Ah, so that's why it took time.
During the Manchu and Qing invasions, why did you get utterly crushed without putting up a fight? With one word from the Inspector General, you could muster such fine cavalry in no time.
You might find it odd that I hate this so much.
All 21st-century local governments are eager for visits to our town, promoting nonstop.
An elderly mayor filming TV or YouTube ads, dancing and singing—it's just part of the job. Face? Dignity? Embarrassment is fleeting; achievements last forever.
So why don't Joseon folk have signs like modern restaurants' "Groups Welcome"?
Because they don't pay.
Right now, the town was in chaos.
Soldiers were harvesting barley at will, beating people, looting goods, and even dragging off women.
Is there a war on?
Looking at them now, no one could stand against the Joseon army. It was like watching a full Mongol cavalry charge.
Should I "Salitai" this Inspector General bastard?
Pretend to go to the outhouse, hide far away, and snipe him—easy enough.
Sniping is the perfect cure for Mongol genetic disorders (prescribed by Kim Yunhu).
But I decided to hold back.
Even if I wasn't caught, the central army would descend and raze everything.
Above all, I'd lose my head for failing to prevent such an unprecedented disaster in the Joseon dynasty.
For the same reason, I'd sent Eoji off on an errand far away earlier. Who knows what he'd do.
I really don't want to see my servant's hands smashing the Inspector General's head. Well, with this many men, even Eoji couldn't manage, but smashing soldiers' heads would be only slightly less serious.
Right now, Eoji's probably mooching a meal at the Yeon family home near Mt. Chwiam.
He was staring at me hard back at the tavern—good luck with that.
Rumors about me should die down a bit too. Still, I need him, so no making him the shrine's pillar husband.
But as magistrate, I had to greet the Inspector General here. Damn it.
I spoke as if his soldiers had entered in perfect order and strict discipline—like they weren't Joseon troops.
"We received the official notice and prepared with utmost care, but I fear this poor little county cannot accommodate the Inspector General's procession. Please overlook any shortcomings."
Yi Ilje flashed a sharp smile beneath his white beard.
He looked older than I'd thought—an old man.
Yeah, I heard he's almost seventy.
Even modern Koreans wouldn't be active at that age. In Joseon, forget it.
Considering the physically grueling duties of an Inspector General, he was remarkably healthy.
Must've gobbled up plenty of tonics.
Instead of replying, Yi Ilje barked orders at the military officers to stop their antics.
A few who hadn't read the room got whipped standing up, and things quieted down.
Did he understand my words? As expected of a survivor from King Gyeongjong and early Yeongjo's "crab feast game."
Yi Ilje had no grudge against Mokcheon county folk. This uproar was just to break my spirit.
So I said "enough already," and he graciously accepted.
Only then did Yi Ilje speak to me.
"Are you Kim Unhaeng, the cruel Mokcheon magistrate who tyrannizes the people, beats them at will, and indulges in debauchery without morals?"
I clasped my sleeves over my face and bowed politely. Just in case my expression turned Kim Yunhu-like.
"My talents are lacking and virtues thin; I regret troubling Your Excellency."
"You know it well enough. What are you doing? Planning to keep this old provincial governor standing? Even if young and ignorant of etiquette, you wait for me to speak first before inviting inside? How obtuse."
My college convenience store night shift was a huge help. Seriously.
Just fancier words, but same as those drunk old men stumbling in at 2 a.m. in stretched running shorts.
So instead of throttling him, I apologized again for my failings and escorted Yi Ilje inside courteously.
One positive note.
This guy doesn't ask specifics about Shin Manheung, Shin Jiheung, or Yeoni.
Well, even if he did, I'm prepared.
The Shin brothers are with Eoji at Mt. Chwiam, receiving Yeoni's "exorcism prayer" (for convulsions and depression). All three couldn't come.
They won't return till it's done. Did I send Eoji just for fun?
It served two purposes: blocking Eoji's rampage and hiding the three.
But he doesn't even ask, so despite the high-handed attitude, Yi Ilje's completely bought it.
Mouth says no, body is honest.
Seated across from the Inspector General, I politely presented the box.
Oh, upfront: no gold or jewels.
I'd love to bribe for an easy out, but nothing like that exists—even if I wanted to die eating it. Hong Daeyong's gift? Spent as operating funds.
Besides, Yi Ilje has plenty of gold and jewels. After atomizing half the fortress at Cheolsan, who wouldn't?
Giving real treasure would just anger him.
Bribery's all about packaging.
Recipients don't want to be cheap vending machines dispensing favors for cash.
That's low-tier corruption.
"Amateur level" for our clerks' pay grade.
Real pros prioritize honor over money.
A scholar merely "shows full propriety" to superiors. To petty folk, it looks like flattery [Serving one's lord with full rites, others call it flattery, Analects]. Same thing.
And superiors duly reward such underlings generously.
Why did Xiang Yu fail? Hesitating to give seals even when edges wore off, until defeat [Carving seals till worn, yet withholding; thus courting failure, Analects Collected Commentaries]. Stinginess.
If it's ultimately goods and favors, sure.
But how you phrase it changes everything.
That's the difference between yangban and commoners.
Clerks get beaten; I don't.
In that sense, my box was better than any gold or jewels.
Yi Ilje, weathered with age and experience, couldn't fail to grasp this philosophy.
His eyebrows rose at the box's contents—worthless materially.
"Indeed, no doubt."
"Yes. With His Highness's flourishing virtue and Your Excellency's brilliance shining over Chungcheong Province, no better proof exists. Undoubtedly auspicious barley harvested from our fields days ago."
What is auspicious barley?
Auspicious [瑞] barley [麥]—that's it.
Specifically, barley with multiple tillers per stalk.
Said to appear in Song Emperor Zhenzong's prosperous era; still seen as a good omen.
Curious how groveling to Khitans was "prosperity," but reframing: financial therapy for Khitans. Whatever.
Struggling to buy premodern superstition about multi-tiller barley being lucky?
Modern equivalent: four-leaf clovers. Same cause, perception.
Just a natural mutation. Rare enough, pretty. Perfect.
Best: "tangible proof exists."
Ancient kirins or phoenixes? Too grand a lie. Ancients probably didn't believe either but couldn't call bullshit—sacrifice to some god otherwise.
This scale's right. That's human civilization.
To hype its value, I added more bait. Yi Ilje rushed here knowing, but just in case.
"This year marks the first joint enshrinement of Grand Progenitor Emperor (Hongwu Emperor Zhu Yuanzhang) at the Great Altar of Gratitude. Amid Golden Sweat (Qing Emperor) threats, how resolute is His Majesty's will to uphold the rightful path?"
Yi Ilje's face showed astonishment again.
This time at me.
How does a wretch like you grasp such intricate politics?
Post-vassalage to Qing, Joseon still sacrificed to Ming.
Ignoring Qing's tantrums. "What can you do but kill us?"—scholars' grit scaled nationally.
Kings hated it, though.
Mess up, and it's King Injo redux: cat pose under the altar (good for back, unfamiliar).
Ministers too?
Who do folks recall as Samjeondo yoga masters: Injo or ministers?
Few name ministers; all know Valiant King Yi Jong.
Kings swallowed tears and did it.
Abolish Ming rites? Swear to Jurchens?
Forget Wanli Emperor's graces?
Betraying grace yet demanding loyalty?
To barbarians with that hairstyle, no less?
Impudent. Mencius targeted such "commoners" for execution.
Everyone rises: cue Gwanghaegun ousting.
This is moral Joseon. No army, money, nothing—but endured 300 years.
Why? Morality.
Ditch morals, nation falls.
Kings felt constant dread: Ming rites, altars, shrines. Ministers cheered loyalty.
Yeongjo merged Zhu Yuanzhang at Great Altar this year for regime stability.
Auspicious barley: Song Zhenzong's omen.
I.e., same as resisting barbarians.
Hong Daeyong confirmed: Hongwu 3rd year, Shaanxi multi-tiller barley. Perfect match for the merger event.
Offering this, Yeongjo must notice and reward amid ministers' hype.
Truth: not thrilled. Didn't want the merger either.
Already irritable, four-leaf clover feels like unwanted sobbing.
But ministers frenzy: anti-Qing symbolism. Literati must support.
Can Yeongjo purge? Tough.
Crab Feast King knows the merit.
Yi Ilje: Noron from Yeongjo's enemy faction.
Success: promotion tool. Fail: safety net.
Better bribe now?
Truly auspicious—for me.
Yi Ilje confirmed.
"Did this truly come from Mokcheon fields? Hard to believe given the magistrate's virtue."
The conversation flowed as predicted; I nearly laughed.
Yes. Bribery means "giving." Ownership transfers: no rights for me.
I gave his desired reply.
"When revealing Heaven's will, why quibble over mundane borders like Mokcheon or Cheongju?
As Your Excellency says, my virtue lacks, but I follow your guidance. Properly, say it came from Chungcheong Province, not Mokcheon."
Mentioning Cheongju was clear.
Now it's from Yi Ilje's Cheongju office.
We stay mum—who knows?
Modern forensics can't distinguish Cheongju from nearby Cheonan botanically.
Cheongju governor cooperates—shares credit.
Team up, gift clover to king. Bookmark it.
You report: no Mokcheon issues, magistrate merits top marks. True, sans you.
Yi Ilje: seasoned politician.
Restrained, he pocketed the barley, lectured pointlessly, then rallied his procession.
Leaving me standing, he haughtily declared.
"Fus are great counties, guns medium, hyeons small. As magistrate said, small counties suffer from grand processions; custom limits stays to two days max.
Hearing only underlings' complaints, no magistrate faults, nothing more to see—so I depart early."
"Your Excellency's keen wisdom and swift judgment outshine any minister ancient or modern."
I bowed; Yi Ilje vanished like wind.
I muttered perfunctory "No, at least eat first" at the dust cloud, then turned refreshed.
Busy, sure.
Needs timing to present "Cheongju barley": "Wandering praising His Majesty's virtue, this odd barley caught my eye?" For Seoul.
But Yi Ilje, you misjudge Yeongjo?
Would he "reasonably" accept?
Kim Unhaeng's machinations went unrecorded.
Yeongjo 25th year (1749), 5th moon, 2nd day: Inspector Yi Ilje and Cheongju Governor Kim Wontak offered auspicious barley—same as original Annals of Yeongjo.
King Yi Geum rejected it [yet thereof].
Yi Ilje was reasonable.
Anti-Qing pro-Ming was Joseon orthodoxy; Yeongjo should've accepted regardless of feelings.
Original: ministers said "Unsuitable for our sage enlightened era"—i.e., "Crazy, live in BC alone?" Not mere anachronism.
"Defensive Injo" and "Mobile Seonjo"—war god duo—used barley propaganda.
Legendary item out: "No need even to say crush Japanese"—Seonjo's aura crushed all.
Annotation-loving historians left his famous line untouched.
But Yi Geum thought differently.
Kim Unhaeng's Seoul assessment held.
Sometimes rewards straight talk; sometimes smashes flatterers' heads.
That's Yeongjo. Smart judgments often right.
Unfortunately, Yi Ilje fell into the latter.
Regency stress from idiot son's antics; provincial governor brings clover "Did good?"—unbearable.
Censors disliked Yi Ilje too.
They urged dismissal; original Yeongjo refused.
Yi Ilje just returned barley, wrote apology.
This time differed.
Yi Ilje's corruption—due next year—was already a sharpened blade.
Preparing Seoul intrigue, Judicial Vice Minister and hopeful next Inspector Hong Gyehui got Kim Unhaeng's letter with the barley news, clapped.
"Nephew so sharp and wise—family's fortune!"
Kim Unhaeng's advice: If Yeongjo pleased, sow doubt via corruption; if angry, strike fully.
Unaware of real event, prepared both.
Hong Gyehui matched perfectly.
Via court network, leaked Yi Ilje-Kim Unhaeng conflict and Kim's gains from Yi's ousting to Crown Prince's eunuch aides—subtly, as rumor.
Reached Prince.
Easy talk; beyond newbie Kim Unhaeng's reach.
King suspects political intent in Prince's approvals? Straight to doghouse.
Master craftsman timing; Kim lacks experience.
Even top graduate like Kim needs Hong Gyehui's seniority, faction. Not for nothing Schrödinger's Prince Experiment assistant instructor.
Next, Hong moved censors.
Censors snobby, but he's Vice Minister. Unlike Kim beating seniors, Hong has censor service as top grad.
Office life: old bosses' influence lingers.
Thus, Censorate Junior Scholar Lee Subong accused Yi Ilje's corruption to regent Prince, urged dismissal.
That's pure censor duty.
Prince eyed father, eventually—as original, but one year early—"decided himself."
"So be it."
Inspector Yi Ilje sacked that day.
But till end, governor's a governor. His report praising Mokcheon magistrate's good governance surely filed.
Joseon runs strict paperwork.
Sharpshooter Kim Unhaeng's bullet pierced two targets at once.
1. As described: barley incident, Yi Ilje corruption, dismissal—all real history. Yeongjo and court knew intent; Annals note "offered to flatter."
Differences: Likely real Cheongju origin, dismissal one year post-barley, no Kim Unhaeng plots.
But barley-corruption overlap caused dismissal—true. Next year, Lee Subong cited prior barley, urged "should've sacked then"; regent Prince approved.
Annals explicitly state Prince's approval; others deferred to king.
2. Golden Sweat: court slur for Qing Emperor, used openly in policy debates.
3. Original Lee Subong urging Prince: then Expositor. Here, one year early as Junior Scholar, so described thus.
4. Though one year later, Hong Gyehui did become next Inspector. No behind-scenes scheming, though.
5. Late Joseon Inspector processions that size—real. Early smaller (still ~100 horses vs. dozens), grew later.
Sequential tours burdened elderly Inspectors physically. Late 16thc. Jeolla Inspector Yu Heichun's diary: fell ill mid-tour, altered schedule, dosed for recovery.