The Pedantic Rulebook
The pretentious rulebook.
“Director Jeongchan. You’re on rulebook review duty, correct?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Please refer to the documents for the full details.”
This time, the mission I’d been assigned was to verify that the rulebook contained no errors. The basic rules had already been drafted; my job was to confirm whether the methods were correct and whether civilians could realistically survive by following them. If a better approach existed, I was authorized to adopt it and rewrite the guide entirely.
The anomaly space under review this time was one with a confirmed, stable entrance through the sewer system.
F-12 Back Alley Survival Guide Draft
Author: 9th Grade Ham Chorong. Reviewer: 9th Grade Jeongchan.
Whoever is currently reading this document has entered the F-12 Back Alley for unknown reasons. For your safety, please adhere strictly to the following guidelines.
Note: This guide is valid only in ‘alleys where streetlights exist.’ If you are in an alley swallowed by endless darkness with no streetlights present, this document is meaningless. If this is the correct zone, read it to the end and obey every instruction.
1. Never look behind you.
2. Before moving down any branching alley, you must check the color of the streetlight.
2-1. If the streetlight is white. The alley is in a safe state. You may rest briefly, but staying longer than five minutes is not recommended. Move as quietly as possible.
2-2. If the streetlight is yellow. Do not stop walking. Even if you hear voices calling your name, ignore them and never turn your head.
2-3. If the streetlight is red. The area is dangerous. You will hear something pursuing you, but do not run. And never step on any shadows. I repeat: never step on any shadows.
2-4. If every streetlight in the area is red. It is best not to enter this zone at all. If you have not yet stepped inside, slowly turn your entire body—not just your head—and choose another path. If you have already entered, run. Find a streetlight emitting blue light within ten minutes by any means necessary.
2-5. If the streetlight is off. Do not enter under any circumstances. If you are already inside, close your eyes and walk ten steps straight forward. You will return to your original location. Even if you must pass through an area where all the lights are red, avoid any path that shows footprints.
2-6. If the streetlight is blue. An escape route is open. Enter any iron gate standing open in the alley or any convenience store with its lights on. You should be able to return to your original world.
3. While walking, you may see shadows with no physical source. Do not step on these shadows; avoid them whenever possible. Avoiding shadows is more important than speed.
4. There may be a figure standing in front of you. Do not look at its face. Pass by on either the left or right side.
4-1. If the entity speaks to you, do not answer. You will feel an urge to follow it. Suppress that urge and keep moving.
4-2. Occasionally the entity may follow you. As long as you do not turn around, it will not harm you. Ignore it and continue forward.
We wish you a safe return. If you escape, please contact the Response Bureau immediately.
It was a clean rulebook. As long as one avoided major mistakes, escape appeared perfectly feasible.
Maybe I should test the difficulty level myself.
I entered the anomaly space carrying the guide. A white streetlight greeted me.
I decided to follow the rules exactly as written. The first step was to confirm whether obeying them would actually allow survival.
I moved only through alleys lit by the supposedly safe white streetlights. When none were available, I chose those glowing orange.
Whispers rose behind me, but they were easy enough to ignore.
When the lights turned red, the sound of something tracking me grated on my nerves, yet I never looked back because the rules forbade it.
As time passed, white lights grew scarce. The alleys gradually deepened into red, then murky darkness.
After roughly an hour, I finally located a blue streetlight and escaped the phenomenon.
Escape itself presents no problems.
Now I needed to examine each rule individually and identify any flaws.
But first, I should gather the internal data.
I stared directly at the guide. Information visible only to Response Bureau agents flowed into my vision.
F-12 Back Alley — Response Bureau Staff Manual
Author: 9th Grade Ham Chorong. (Original date: 200X.XX.XX)
1. The space has been confirmed to reject entry by two or more individuals. Rescue operations are therefore impossible.
2. No loss of direction or hallucinatory phenomena have been observed. A real pursuing entity exists. Its appearance suggests a small child, yet it possesses only a mouth filled with shark-like teeth; eyes and a nose are absent. It calls the victim’s name or attempts to lure them. Pistol fire eliminates individuals, but their numbers never decrease. Strength does not increase, suggesting resurrection.
3. A red woman is confirmed to pursue anyone passing under red streetlights. A 9th-grade agent can handle her, but the threat is deemed insurmountable for civilians.
4. Stepping on a shadow causes loss of sensation in the affected body part or results in the limb moving with apparent self-awareness in a non-cooperative manner. Cause unknown. Further research required.
5. An intelligent entity designated ‘Companion’ has been identified. Although highly intelligent, it fails to remember repeated encounters; therefore it cannot utilize the rulebook. Resurrection confirmed.
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After skimming the document, one question rose in my mind.
Why didn’t they make it simpler?
It seemed entirely possible to streamline the instructions far more. After reading the internal data, I realized the guide still contained unnecessary complications and that many containable anomalies remained. I returned to the alley once more.
This time I would act in reverse—capturing every anomaly to simplify the rulebook as much as possible.
Let’s clean this up quickly.
I spun around and began capturing the entities that attacked from behind. Their teeth were sharp, but that was all. I swept through them until I no longer felt any gazes fixed on my back.
Next, the shadows.
Beneath the streetlights I noticed one shadow that was darker than the rest. Was this the one that caused problems when stepped on?
Upon closer inspection, it was not a shadow at all—it was an anomaly.
Unable to exist alone, it parasitizes hosts. It begins by mimicking a shadow, then attempts to devour the original form entirely.
I swung my scythe and drove it into the shadow.
“—!”
The stabbed shadow convulsed, then went limp.
Once the anomaly was contained, the shadow vanished. It appeared the streetlights no longer cast shadows at all. After I contained several more formless shadows, they stopped causing any further trouble.
A red streetlight appeared.
I recalled what was supposed to happen here. A red woman would begin pursuit.
I waited roughly ten minutes. Soft footsteps approached and a woman emerged. Her excessively long fingernails were rather charming.
Next I encountered the entity known as the Companion.
I stared at it intently. Its face twisted and folded like over-fermented pizza dough—an intriguing sight.
“Why aren’t you speaking?”
Unlike the rulebook described, it did not speak at all. Instead it seemed to be trying to slip away from me.
This part will need revision.
I located a blue streetlight, escaped, and returned to the alley. I visited the unlit streetlight and contained the suspicious entity that had been following me there as well.
After repeating the process dozens of times, I was finally able to reorganize the rulebook.
F-12 Back Alley Survival Guide — Revised Draft
Author: 9th Grade Jeongchan. Reviewer: TBD (Reason: pending request to 9th Grade Ham Chorong.)
1. Before moving down any branching alley, you must check the color of the streetlight. If it is blue, an escape route is open.
Enter any iron gate standing open in the alley or any convenience store with its lights on. You should be able to return to your original world.
We wish you a safe return. If you escape, please contact the Response Bureau immediately.
“Now this feels clean.”
A proper rulebook should provide only the information that is absolutely necessary. When there was too much information, it was an agent’s job to trim and remove the excess.
I submitted the neatly revised guide. My rulebook was rejected by the Response Bureau before it even reached a reviewer.
“May I ask why?”
“It’s too clean. A truly good rulebook looks like this.”
“……”
What I received in return was not a small, easy-to-memorize booklet but something that resembled a novella.
You are currently inside Amurotica Amusement Park, which was closed in 20XX.
This is an amusement park built for anomalies. From festivals to carnivals, a wide variety of attractions and food can be found… (omitted)
For your safety, please follow the guidelines below.
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12. If you encounter a clown while walking, we are sorry. We hope you find eternal joy within Amurotica Amusement Park.
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175. Never order the emerald crystal pickles. That dish is sold by a vicious merchant who demands half a heart and half a brain as payment.
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253. If you ride the roller coaster, avoid sitting in the very last row. You will be entered into a special event. As everyone knows, a special event means… (omitted)
I gave up reading. There was simply too much useless information for short-term memorization, and the behavioral instructions were bizarre. The guide felt completely different from every other rulebook or manual I had seen.
The twelfth rule in particular was so strange I wondered why it had been included. In a situation where a civilian would inevitably face unavoidable death, it might have been kinder not to mention it at all.
At least tell them an easier way to die.
That was not the only problem. The lower sections were equally pointless, serving only to waste the reader’s memory.
Rule 175 forced people to think about the very thing they were told to avoid. A human brain cannot simply “not think” of something. Telling someone “Do not think of an elephant” guarantees they will picture an elephant.
The information in clause 175 was something a victim never needed to know. It was the exact kind of knowledge they should never have been given.
“……What is this?”
“It is a rulebook. A correct rulebook. Is there a problem?”
I was about to speak when the gallery ghosts began to chatter.
The Response Bureau was not an organization with the luxury of reading the room. Everyone was already overwhelmed with their own duties.
Yet today, although everyone appeared busy, I could feel their attention focused on me. Agents chatting over coffee in the distance kept their hands hidden behind their backs, gripping weapons. The employee smiling at me had his finger resting on the emergency switch.
“……”
In times like these, only one possibility existed.
They were preparing to respond the instant I revealed myself as an anomaly or caused an anomalous event.
In other words, I was currently being treated as a potential anomaly.
“Are you leaving?”
“Yes… It seems I haven’t fully recovered from the mental contamination. I’ll rest and return with a revised rulebook.”
“Very well. The first draft was mediocre, but your revisions were the worst I’ve seen. Please fix it and bring it back, Director Jeongchan.”
I tucked the rejected rulebook into my coat and left the Response Bureau.
Something was happening.
Had I gone mad?
Or was I trapped inside a strange dream?
Seeing the gallery ghosts spouting their usual nonsense, I still seemed relatively sane.
Perception inhibition.
It referred to the phenomenon that made the abnormal feel normal by clouding judgment, senses, and memory.