What Are You Doing?
"Ugh... my head hurts. That's enough. Break time. Let's take a break."
Han Si-ah flopped face-down onto the table.
Whatever "concepts" Nam Yu-ri had been hammering into her must have been pure torture, because she tapped out before a full hour had even passed.
"Yeah. We've been at it for about an hour. Let's rest a bit."
"Mm-hmm."
When Yu-ri and I agreed, Si-ah turned her head to look at me.
"Seon Woo-hyun."
"What."
"Do you actually understand that stuff? All those weird things Yu-ri keeps spitting out?"
"They're not weird things. They're what's in the textbook, dude."
"Exactly. The weird stuff that's in the textbook."
"More or less?"
I'd been getting full-subject tutoring from Nam Yu-ri through Cluster sessions for a while now, and my pure study time plus review hours every day were pretty long. I didn't get everything, but a lot of it made sense.
"Traitor."
"How am I a traitor?"
"I thought we were comrades... When did you pull so far ahead? Ugh."
Apparently the fact that I was better at studying than her was eating at her. She stayed face-down, grumbling under her breath.
"That's obvious, isn't it? While you're singing and practicing dance all day, I'm studying."
"...You didn't used to."
"That was before."
"Haa. I feel left out because I'm the only one who doesn't get what you're talking about. Anyway, I'm gonna run to the convenience store."
"Why the convenience store?"
"I want to clear my head a little. Grab some coffee or a drink. I'm sleepy."
"Go for it."
She gathered up her cardigan and stood. Earlier I'd noticed her eyes drooping shut every few seconds. She'd probably practiced late the night before, so of course she was tired. At this hour back at school she'd be nodding off at her desk.
"Have fun~"
"Yeah. Yu-ri, I'll be right back, okay?"
The way she treated Yu-ri and me was completely different, but whatever.
After receiving Yu-ri's gentle goodbye, she walked out. That left just the two of us in the room with nothing to do during break time.
"Nam Yu-ri, aren't you sleepy?"
"Hm? Me?"
"You studied late last night too, right?"
"...I did, but I don't sleep much to begin with. And I had black tea this morning."
Yu-ri was tough, sure, but she really did seem to be the type who needed less sleep. Even when we all stayed up late, Seo Da-eun and Han Si-ah still dozed off way more at school.
"Black tea in the morning. You sound like some noble young lady."
"My father likes it. One of his friends runs a tea business in England, so he always gets some from there."
Every time she said things like that I was reminded how rich she was. Her father was upper-class, so of course his friends were all high-flyers too.
Then the conversation just... stopped.
"Suddenly it's just the two of us."
"Yeah."
She looked around the room like she had no idea what to say now that we were alone, awkwardness written all over her face. She hadn't been like this the last time we ran into each other outside. Maybe it was the space itself. Being alone together in my house was creating this weird tension.
...Should I say something?
I was considering forcing a conversation about novels when Yu-ri broke the awkward silence first.
"Since we're resting, can I look around your room a little?"
"My room? There's not really anything to see."
"Just curious. This is the first time I've ever been over at a friend's house. Especially a guy's."
Fair enough. I'd never been in a girl's room either, so I had no idea what was in one. I understood why her curiosity was kicking in, so I nodded.
"Sure. Look around as much as you want."
"Okay. Thanks."
I'd cleaned up anything that might be a problem while tidying. Not that there was anything problematic in my room to begin with.
She slowly walked around. The place was only about four or five pyeong—tiny, with basically nothing interesting—yet she examined everything like it was fascinating.
"What's this? This blue box."
"Oh, that? Razor blades. If you don't change them the edge gets dull and you cut yourself shaving."
"I see. That's interesting."
Unlike a normal household, she probably had her own bathroom separate from her father's. Maybe she'd never actually seen a razor before.
Her gaze moved past the bed to the desk, where she spotted the neatly stacked notebooks and a few novels.
"Can I open this?"
"Huh? Sure."
Which one was that again? I had so many notebooks I couldn't remember what I'd left on the desk.
While she carefully opened a notebook and checked the contents, I stepped closer to look over her shoulder.
"Ah. This one."
"...Isn't this the stuff I taught you? Right?"
"Yeah. After Cluster ends I review the textbook and write down the things you said while we study."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You explain things more carefully than the teachers, and you say a lot of stuff that actually helps when I'm studying."
Explaining something from a student's perspective versus preparing materials and teaching as an instructor were completely different. That was why her explanations were so much easier for me to understand, and why I made sure to write them down so I wouldn't forget.
...But of all things, this one? Kind of embarrassing to show her.
If it had been Si-ah I wouldn't have cared, but showing the actual person involved made me feel awkward no matter what.
She looked up at me with eyes sparkling so brightly they almost looked teary.
"...Wow. I'm touched. I never thought you'd treasure it this much."
"Come on. It's not something to get emotional over."
"No. It means you tried to remember every single thing I said. Do you know how thoughtful that is?"
"...Is it?"
"Yeah! Even if a teacher taught them, most kids wouldn't do this. And for my lessons of all things..."
"..."
"I need to prepare my lessons even harder from now on. So Woo-hyun can organize them more easily."
She nodded firmly to herself, making the resolution. Getting so purely moved by something like this was so very Nam Yu-ri. It wasn't even something worth being touched over—I'd just done it to help my own studying. But if it made her happy, that was enough for me. I decided to let it go.
"Did you buy these novels recently?"
"Ah, those. Yeah. Talking with you made me want to read more, so I picked some up lately."
"Are they good?"
"30 Days Without a Cat. That one was really fun. I'm planning to only recommend the ones I actually enjoy after I finish them."
"For me?"
"You're busy. You don't have time to go through books one by one and pick them out. So I'm doing the taste-testing for you."
Of course it wasn't only for her. I was looking for good works for myself too. Reading novels was still one of my long-time hobbies. Not that I read this many even back then—I'd always preferred web novels over regular literature.
"It's definitely more fun reading them with someone. For me too. Thinking about talking with you about the same book while I read makes it even better."
"..."
"I wonder how Nam Yu-ri would react here. She probably cried her eyes out at this scene. Maybe even wailed. Like this."
"..."
"So I've been reading a lot more lately, I guess?"
Yu-ri looked at me with a strange expression. There was something soft and warm in that gaze that made me want to look away without meaning to.
She stared quietly at my face, then smiled a little and said,
"I like it too."
"Huh?"
For a second I panicked thinking it was a confession, then realized a confession couldn't possibly come at a timing like this and forced my racing heart to calm down.
Her clear, pure eyes smiled at me.
"Talking about books with you, Woo-hyun. It's become the part of my day I look forward to the most."
The way she delivered her goodwill so straightforwardly made my face burn bright red before I could stop it.
...She's seriously honest.
Most people would be too embarrassed to say something like that. She just told me everything, completely unbothered by the fact that we were a guy and a girl. Of course it wasn't romantic interest. Still, the fact that a cute girl like her looked forward to talking with me was pretty nice—both as a guy and as a friend.
"That so. Glad to hear it."
"Yeah. So keep talking with me a lot from now on. Let's read more fun stuff together."
"...Yeah. We should."
Childlike, maybe. Once you got even a little older, saying something that pure wasn't easy. It was like kids at the playground telling each other "Today was fun, let's play again tomorrow." I even found it a little impressive.
Once the conversation ended, both our faces went red again. Embarrassment filled the room.
"...This is kind of embarrassing. Saying stuff like that."
"You're the one who said it. Why are you getting shy now?"
"I don't know. I already said it, so what am I supposed to do?"
Wanting to change the subject fast, she turned her gaze to my bookshelf. She'd spent her whole life with books, so of course she was interested. Books were how she and I had gotten close in the first place, after all.
"Besides these, can I look at the books you usually read too?"
"Sure, of course."
"Then shall we take a look? What kind of books does our mentee normally read?"
With a strangely sly little smile, she examined my bookshelf. Something interesting must have caught her eye, because she asked,
"Oh. The Basics of Running? You read stuff like this too?"
"I go running every morning."
"Nice. That's cool."
That one had actually been recommended by Seo Da-eun. She'd said it helped her a lot, that it wasn't too hard and would be useful, so I should try it.
More than that, this girl was way too natural at praising me. Maybe because she was always in teacher mode. Everything that came out of her mouth was a compliment.
"Hmm. What's that one?"
"What? Which?"
"Hold on. Can I pull it out?"
It was higher than she expected. She went up on her tiptoes and poked at the book. The pressure from the surrounding volumes had it wedged in tight, so it wouldn't come free easily.
...Should I just get it for her?
I was a lot taller, so there was no reason to make her struggle.
"If it won't come out, move. I'll get it."
I started toward her, worried she'd hurt herself, when—
"Wait, Nam Yu-ri, if you hang on it like that—!"
"Ugh. Got it! Uweh? Eeh?!"
Yu-ri put her full weight into it on tiptoe, hanging off the stuck book. She grunted and yanked until she finally pulled it free—but she lost her balance and toppled backward at the same time the bookshelf, under too much force, started to tip.
...I should've warned her earlier. Damn it.
My room used to be a storage space, so the floor wasn't perfectly level. Furniture would tip if you pulled too hard. I'd figured a girl couldn't put that much force into it, so I'd left her alone.
I never expected her to grab the shelf and haul with her whole body weight. Especially since that particular bookshelf was propped up with hwatu cards and paper underneath and had always been a little unstable.
I lunged forward to keep her from getting hurt because of me. The one lucky thing was that I'd already been moving toward her to pull the book out myself. I caught Yu-ri as she fell backward and braced the bookshelf with one hand at the same time.
Crash-thud-thud.
Thankfully the shelf wasn't solid wood and was only a little bigger than an adult man, so even with the rushed reaction I managed to keep it from falling. I caught Yu-ri safely too so she didn't hit the floor.
The problem was that every book raining down from the shelf decided to beat the hell out of me.
"Kyaah! Oh no. Woo-hyun, are you okay?"
She'd squeezed her eyes shut and buried herself against me. When she carefully opened them and saw me holding her while getting pelted by books, she screamed.
There weren't that many volumes, so they all hit the floor pretty quickly. Since I'd wrapped my arms around her to protect her and the shelf hadn't fully toppled, most of the middle books stayed put. Only the ones up top fell, so I was the only one who got scraped. Small mercies.
She came to her senses, quickly pulled free of my arms, and stood on her own.
"I-I'm sorry! I should've just asked you to get it. I was being stubborn for no reason..."
"It's fine. You don't have to apologize. I didn't explain that the balance here is off."
"No. It's my fault. I..."
"I said it's fine. More importantly, are you hurt? You?"
"...Mm. It grazed me a little, but I'm okay. More than that, Woo-hyun, your face..."
Looking worried, she carefully examined my face from beside the pile of books. The moment she said it I felt a stinging heat on my right cheek. A book must have clipped me and left a cut.
"You're... bleeding. What do we do..."
"It's fine. I'll just put some ointment on it later."
"But... you got hurt because of me. What if it leaves a scar..."
She made a soft, guilt-filled sound. Still fretting, she leaned in close, cupped my cheek with her hand, and stared at my face. That look was seriously hard to handle right now. Our bodies and faces were so close I could feel her breath and body heat.
I was about to tell her to back up a little when—
"I'm baaack~ Hey, you two~"
The door flew open and Han Si-ah walked straight in. She immediately dropped the convenience-store bag she was holding with a pathetic thud. Then she took in the pose the two of us were in, her face turning bright red as she said,
"...What are you two doing?"
I knew exactly what she was thinking, but it was a misunderstanding.
A real misunderstanding.