More of the Same
I watched him head back to his seat and grabbed the side dishes with both hands, following Si-a back as well.
Si-a pulled out a tissue and wiped the moisture off her hands, letting out a long sigh.
"Huu."
She looked exhausted.
Seeing a high-school girl make that face was just pitiful.
"You'll have a tough time surviving this."
I popped a piece of kimchi into my mouth and told her.
Si-a lifted her head slightly and looked my way.
"Tough? What?"
"Too many people paying attention to you. Even just grabbing lunch near home turns into this."
"... "
"Isn't that tiring? A little. I may not have popularity, but if I did, I'd probably feel the same."
She'd get hunted even by weird uncles.
It's not all good about being the center of attention.
People sometimes just want to spend time alone quietly.
In these ordinary situations, she wouldn't care about what others think.
Si-a does this every day—eating, hanging out with friends, going anywhere.
She experiences this every single day.
"Well... it gets used to, so it's okay. But there are times I don't like it."
She touched her ear awkwardly as if embarrassed and brushed her hair aside.
Then she looked at me with a strange expression and said.
"You don't find it annoying?"
"What?"
"If I say something like that, it sounds like I'm acting arrogant. Like I'm enjoying the popularity or saying it's tough."
"It's not really like that. You're amazing."
I coolly admitted it.
Si-a's mouth snapped shut for a moment, her expression hardening, then she burst into laughter.
"This is the first time someone's taken that in so well."
"You should admit it. Who doesn't know you're pretty? On top of that, you dress well. Makeup too. The only thing lacking is your brain?"
"What's my brain have to do with it. Sorry, but I study better than you. Just not doing it."
She carefully picked up a rice ball and said.
"If everyone just thought like you, it would be easier."
"Huh?"
"It's not usually like that. Especially for girls."
"... "
"So I have to stay humble all the time. Even if I'm tired, I can't say it. I can't show it. Because it would hurt the other person."
Inferiority.
Especially the inferiority about popularity and looks among girls her age is sky-high.
When she started social life, jealousy was a common emotion anyway.
In high school, when she couldn't properly control her own feelings, even if she tried to hide it, it showed.
If there's a pretty girl around, it's natural to notice and compare.
Without a firm standard for yourself, that's how it is.
At such a young age when values are still forming, the resentment goes to those who are blessed.
...So Si-a probably looks envious.
"That must be even tougher."
"Yeah, probably."
"Want me to share some of my looks?"
"If you can."
Whoa, that was seriously unlucky. Admit it.
I frowned.
Si-a giggled and said.
"So that's why it's surprising."
"... "
"Frankly, I've never met someone who actually sympathizes with this. Like, it's tough because of popularity."
"Naturally, geniuses are hard to sympathize with. In any field."
Same goes for face geniuses.
For Si-a, who also has the body, even more so.
Normal people would think their pain is twisted or fake.
And Si-a probably felt it more than others because of her stunning beauty that was hard to ignore.
Her sense of dressing up and the effort as an idol trainee.
Like a peacock that draws eyes even from afar.
She made her beautiful looks stand out to the outside world.
Of course, I couldn't do much about that.
All I could do was sympathize to this extent.
"Keep fighting."
"Huh?"
"You're aiming to be an idol, right? It will get even worse once you become one. Jealousy. Way more than now."
Just browsing the internet tells you that.
Baseless slander, personal attacks, groundless hatred pour out about famous celebrities.
And most of the cause is jealousy.
People hate those who are too obvious and blessed.
"So just enjoy it. Like, because I'm great~ or just become a little more shameless."
"... "
"Isn't the arrogant idol concept kinda cool? Like in variety shows. An idol who thinks she's great or something."
I shrugged and said that.
Si-a chuckled lightly.
"Yeah. I should enjoy it. Talking to you makes me feel stupid sometimes."
And she seemed to like that feeling.
"Enough. No more sad talk. Let's eat."
She smiled and turned her gaze to the chicken galbi approaching from afar.
"Wow. It looks delicious. The cheese is stretching."
Si-a lifted a piece of chicken galbi and showed the stretching cheese to Woo-hyun.
The spicy sauce and the scent of mozzarella cheese stimulated his nose.
...Should I take a photo?
I stopped fiddling with my phone at that thought.
For girls, maybe.
But in front of boys, no need to take photos.
Yoon Tae-jun didn't seem to like taking photos much either.
"Let's eat. Quickly."
"Yeah. Eat."
"Mmm~ My sir~"
The happiness hit the moment it entered my mouth.
The perfect harmony of protein and cheese stimulated my tongue.
My tongue, which always ate only salad and tasteless chicken breast, felt happiness with dopamine.
'Here I am, pretending to apologize, but enjoying it to the max.'
Suddenly, after eating the food deliciously, this thought came to mind.
At first it felt a bit awkward, but somehow with Seon Woo-hyun, my heart felt at ease.
Even when choosing the menu, he would accommodate my situation.
He helped shake off the hunters, and in addition, he sympathized with my troubles that were usually hard to understand.
Moreover, thinking back, he even put his arm around me in the alley earlier...
Everything was his consideration.
When we entered the restaurant, he even set up the chopsticks and spoon himself.
When I went to the bathroom, he brought all the side dishes.
Without thinking, I stayed still, but I actually felt like I was being waited on by him.
"Oh. Really? It's insanely delicious."
And seeing him innocently push meat into his mouth while saying that, I couldn't help but smile.
I had no choice but to know why he felt at ease.
He always thought about the other person but didn't show it off, and he was honest.
He didn't assign meaning to every action like girls do.
So I didn't have to worry about his eyes.
I knew my looks were great, but I didn't feel inferiority because of it.
He didn't treat me specially.
It felt like he was treating me as an equal person.
So naturally, it was easy for me to treat him that way too.
'Boy, is this normal?'
Actually, most guys who approached me had ulterior motives.
I didn't really get close to guys.
Only Yoon Tae-jun and Seon Woo-hyun.
But when I met them in private spaces to play, I got it.
...It was more fun than I thought. Playing with boys.
I didn't know if it was because he was Seon Woo-hyun.
Meeting a boy with no selfish motives and playing with him.
It was something that could be enjoyed purely.
I hadn't realized it because I'd only played with girls so far.
'If that's the case, I should suggest we meet often and play together.'
How long had it been since I last had such memories of playing without caring about others' eyes?
Watching him put chicken galbi on rice and eat it deliciously, I thought that.
Looking at him like that, I felt my own thoughts also simplify.
No complicated calculations, just enjoying this moment.
When I was staring blankly at him, he stopped eating and looked at me.
"What? Not eating. If you eat late, I'll eat it all?"
"Ah? No. I'm eating."
And Si-a put another piece of chicken galbi on her rice.
Just like him, she lifted a spoonful of happiness and brought it to her mouth.
"Frankly, you picked the menu well. The spicy chicken galbi with sweet potato cheese rice cake is insane?"
"Yeah? I know good taste."
And that meaningless praise made me feel better than the endless "you're pretty" I usually heard.
Maybe that's why.
Si-a seemed to have more courage than usual.
When talking to him, somehow I felt like I wouldn't be rejected.
"Hey. Seon Woo-hyun."
"Yeah. What? Ugh, it's a bit spicy."
It's too spicy. Can't even eat this.
Watching him sweat over something so ordinary, I thought it was kinda cute.
She extended her hand.
"Gimme your phone number. We only have MyaTalk friends. We don't know each other's numbers."
"My number? Why?"
"Just give it to me."
As if it was absolutely necessary.
I asked him with a strange face.
I received his phone, entered my number, and called to hang up.
That way, we easily exchanged numbers.
...I had to say that to know it. Seriously.
"Since it's my number, save it."
"Yeah. Saved it."
"... Then we're friends."
"Yeah."
"... Next time, if you're bored, you can call me again?"
...I never thought I'd say something like this to anyone.