Back to Those Days
"Mr. Yoon-su is really a good person. I don't think he'll suit me."
"…"
"I'm sure you'll find someone much better. Then I'll be going."
Five minutes ago.
That was the line I heard after getting rejected on a blind date.
What good would a "much better" guy even be?
If I really thought he was good, he would have already caught him.
One day of social life.
But I'd already had enough. I'd been working a regular job for nine years now.
It meant there was no room left for my intuition.
I knew the girl had only turned me down out of kindness.
"Tch. At first I thought the vibe was good."
I couldn't stop the curse from slipping out.
Just moments ago I'd been acting all gentle in front of her, and now this was what my pathetic self looked like.
The guy who set up the blind date had said:
'Hyun-ya, your build is solid. Why haven't you ever dated? If it were me with those looks and height, I'd just—'
My looks were decent enough, he said.
Tall, broad shoulders even though I didn't work out much, and a face that wasn't too bad for a man.
Probably the reason the vibe was good from the start was because of that.
I must have hooked her from the beginning with my appearance.
But.
"…What now. Sigh."
A sigh escaped me.
The girl's expression darkened the moment my job came up.
I looked down at my own hands without realizing it.
Calluses from years of work, thick and worn.
They didn't look like a hand that should be admired.
"Just a factory for a few years."
I worked at a production plant in Seoul.
My salary was barely three hundred thousand won.
I started working the day I graduated high school, putting in honest effort and learning a few skills from the boss.
I was an uneducated guy who had done his best, and I could honestly say I was satisfied with a salary like that.
But apparently people saw things differently.
When she heard I worked at a factory and heard my salary and the money I'd saved, she got up from the table before ten minutes had passed.
"I really should have studied harder in school."
I looked up at the sky, filled with regret that was pointless.
I knew.
It was impossible.
Even if I'd studied, I wouldn't have been able to go to university.
My father's business had collapsed early, and by high school I'd been too busy with part-time jobs after class to have time for anything else.
With my sick mother unable to work and no one to pay my registration fees, I wouldn't have been able to afford college even if I'd wanted to.
Since I couldn't go to university, the only job I could do was a menial one.
I sent out resumes everywhere the day I graduated high school.
Luckily, the only place that accepted me was this factory, so I quickly started working and began paying off my family's debts.
Nine years had passed like that.
Now at twenty-nine, I had finally paid off my father's debts last year.
'Finally paid off. It's liberation.'
I had thought that day.
Up to that point, I hadn't had the chance to think about anything other than repaying the debt.
But when I sent the final payment to my father and came home to open a bottle of soju alone to celebrate in my tiny studio, I found myself crying without knowing why.
I should have been happy.
Now that the debt was gone, I should have been happy.
But I wasn't as relieved or happy as I thought I would be.
After that one glass of soju, I cried and said one thing out loud.
"What am I supposed to do now?"
Nothing remained.
I looked around my five-pyeong underground studio.
The only thing left to me was five million won in deposit.
While others happily graduated high school and university, enjoyed their youth, and built up their education and qualifications, I had worked my bones to the marrow just to repay the debt.
My age had passed the late twenties, and I had nothing to show for it.
On top of that, I didn't even have a single friend, let alone a girlfriend.
The only connection I had was the one friend I'd made at work with the boss.
The only advantage he had was that his head was in the right place.
After getting drunk that night, I made up my mind the next day that I would try to live as well as possible from then on.
'Okay. From now on, my life starts. Up to now, it hadn't been my life. Now I can do everything—date, make friends, go on trips, whatever I want.'
With that resolve, I went on the first blind date arranged by my friend.
That blind date ended in rejection after less than thirty minutes, leaving only emptiness in my chest.
It felt like reality was telling me something.
No matter how I thought about it hopefully, I had used up the best years of my life—teenage and early twenties, which others called their golden age—entirely on repaying debt.
The feeling of being a filial son to my parents was nothing compared to the despair that came with that thought.
"Hah. Me? A blind date?"
A bitter smile escaped.
I deleted the woman's number that my friend had given me.
I wouldn't be receiving any more blind dates.
I had made a pointless wish.
I had heard from people around me what my position was in society, especially now that I was in my thirties.
In a dating market where conditions mattered far more than love, what was my place?
I had simply turned my happiness dial up a bit while thinking maybe I was different, and had tasted the bitterness of reality.
To women, I was just a late-twenties second-generation son-in-law who had no money and an unstable job, with no qualifications.
"If I were a woman, I wouldn't date someone like me."
I was already at the age where marriage came to mind more than romance.
There was no woman on this earth who would want to date a man this rootless.
The pure age when love alone could create romance was limited to the teens.
Even then, the advantage of a solid build only lasted until early twenties, and even that wasn't anything special.
Just a little better than average.
Once my self-awareness faded, my body felt weak and the soju I had drunk was calling me.
On days like this, I couldn't sleep without soju, so I headed to the convenience store.
"Welcome."
An apathetic greeting came from the K-convenience store.
As I headed to the beverage corner to pick out soju, I spotted a boy and a girl in school uniforms.
"Peeps Zero Lime. Zero Cola is Quark Zero~"
"Wow, Seo-yoon-ah. You're really clueless about taste. You don't know Peeps Zero sells way more?"
They were arguing with words, but drawing heart eyes with their gazes.
Tapping each other's arms playfully, they looked like a perfect couple.
Next to them, I opened the fridge and took out soju, staring at them enviously.
…How nice.
I envied the youth they were experiencing right in front of me.
When I stared at them too hard, the girl noticed my gaze and asked in a slightly frightened voice.
"U-um… sir. Is there something you want to say?"
"What?"
"No, you kept staring at us. Should we move?"
"Ah, no."
I heard the high-school girl's words and headed to the carbonated drinks section.
I picked up a Peeps Zero Lime I had no intention of buying, just to avoid causing any misunderstanding, and left the store casually.
"I want to try this."
"What?"
"Try it. I don't eat it."
"Oh, thank you."
The part-timer, who had been staring blankly at her phone, accepted the cola and smiled brightly.
It was probably early twenties.
Seeing a college student like me, envy came first.
That day, everything except me seemed like youth.
I finished the transaction and left the convenience store, walking quickly toward home because I didn't want to run into anyone.
I slipped out of the street and headed home, closing the door behind me.
The sound of the studio door shutting gave me a strange sense of relief.
…What was I running away from?
Still not sure what I meant by that, I took off my shoes, washed up briefly, and pulled out some snacks from a few days ago.
"Khuh."
Sweet.
The only thing that could comfort me was alcohol.
With everyone around gone, my heart felt strangely peaceful.
I turned on my phone and connected to my favorite web novel platform.
Fantasy, martial arts, modern fantasy—everything.
My only hobby was reading novels, so I had pre-registered many works.
But what caught my eye today was a love comedy.
Probably because of the teenage couple I had seen earlier.
I was drawn to a love comedy that depicted teenage youth.
[Our Love Comedy - Latest Update Registered!]
The message about the latest chapter had me hurrying to read today's update.
It was a work I loved.
I knew the story by heart, and I had already reread the last two chapters several times.
[Tae-jun-ah. Actually… I like you.]
And today's highlight was the scene where Seo Da-eun, the last heroine of 'Our Romcom', confessed to the protagonist Tae-jun.
"Kh."
Seeing the final scene, a sigh escaped me without realizing it.
All the heroines had given their hearts to Tae-jun.
The feeling of that excitement passed through me, and I unconsciously clenched my fist.
I was the one who couldn't enjoy that youthful sensation, while the novel's protagonist, Yoon Tae-jun, was fully experiencing it.
I just envied him.
After drinking, the hiccups started coming more frequently.
"…I wish I could go back to that time just once."
Just empty words.
A mumble I said because I knew it was impossible.
When I woke up, the cold reality would greet me again.
Maybe the alcohol in my stomach made my eyes heavy and my head dizzy.
The phone screen in my hand spun around.
As I slowly closed my eyes like I was falling.
And when I opened my eyes again—
"Hey. Seon Woo-hyun~"
"Seon Woo-hyun~! Wake up. Let's stop playing."
Someone touched my body. The sensation of my shoulder being shaken made my stomach churn.
I barely opened my eyes while holding back the urge to vomit.
A handsome man with round glasses was staring down at me.
His face was soft enough to be soothing, with long eyelashes.
The kind of face that would work well for the male leads in shoujo manga.
Fan art, official illustrations, covers—everything.
I had seen his face countless times in illustrations.
I knew who he was.
"…Yoon Tae-jun?"
"Yeah. What, did you have a bad dream? Suddenly calling my name. If we keep this up, we'll miss lunch. Let's go. Wake up."
That was definitely the protagonist of the novel I had been reading, 'Our Love Comedy'—Yoon Tae-jun.