No Fighting—Let's Sort Out the Situation First
"Don't fight. Um, let's just get the situation straightened out first."
Right in front of me, two students were on their knees. As soon as Riley locked eyes with me, she'd snapped into position, and the girl who'd nearly gotten speared by her spear had glanced around nervously before cautiously kneeling as well. I stood atop the desk, gripping my cane in one hand and Riley's spear in the other, looking down at them. The deep cleavage I was peering at from almost straight above was impressive, but I knew full well this wasn't the time to get distracted by that.
"My apologies for the intrusion." I first apologized to the nearby students before stepping down from the desk. I'd been careful not to step on anything, but climbing onto someone else's desk without permission was still rude. I propped the cane and spear against the wall for a moment, then wiped down the spot on the desk where my feet had been with a handkerchief. My gaze shifted back to the two students.
"You can stand up now."
"No...!"
"We can't...!"
"...My heart won't feel right if you don't."
They were blatantly terrified. I let out an involuntary sigh at the sight. If they really wanted to get beaten up, they should've just said so to me—but no, they'd taken it as "let's throw down right now." Of course, there was no way an academy freshman could beat a serving soldier like me... so it must've sounded like "beat me half to death." Good grief. If they'd at least reflected with something like "how could we hit a teacher," I might've felt a little proud...
"So, are you not going to hit us?"
"No, I'm not!"
"We won't do it—eeek...!"
I turned my back to them and asked again, but the answers were the same. I hadn't expected them to accept it at this point anyway. Still, wasn't it kind of thrilling in itself to stick out your ass and beg female college students to spank you? You have to seize these opportunities boldly when they arise.
"...That's fine, then. But aren't you apologizing to the wrong person?"
I spun halfway around to face them again. From the start, I wasn't the one who deserved an apology in this situation. Sure, if you wanted to get technical about teacher authority being violated or rudeness, I could've demanded one... but priorities were priorities.
"......"
But the girl who'd provoked Riley immediately made a sullen face at my words. Just as she'd said, she was a smooth talker—or rather, someone who got smoothed by words—and apologizing to a barbarian for her rudeness clearly bruised her pride. It seemed a bit much to take it that hard, but... come to think of it, she was nineteen, so back in Korea, they'd be fresh college kids. Not quite "kids," but young enough that adults would often say "they're still green."
Still, I had no intention of letting it slide entirely, so I stared straight into her eyes to apply a little pressure. Why just glare at her and not Riley? Because telling a brute like Riley to apologize for her rough behavior was pointless. Publicly insulting a Groomha warrior and getting stabbed was suicide, not murder. It was just like pressing a button next to her and getting the appropriate output—nothing particularly wrong there. Sure, by common sense standards, that aggressive response needed fixing... but what could you do when she didn't even realize it was wrong? At least, it wasn't something I could correct right here and now.
"Do you have no intention of apologizing for your words?"
"......I'm sorry."
I kept staring at her face, and eventually, the words crawled out past her throat. They even sounded like she was holding back resentment. It was exactly the reaction you'd expect if someone held a knife to your neck and forced a humiliating declaration. ...Now that I think about it, that's even more infuriating. Why are you in that position instead of me?
"Riley."
"Yeah. Apology accepted! Just watch it next time!"
I turned my gaze to Riley, and she nodded briskly. She looked oddly eager, like she'd been desperate for any excuse to back off. No, surely Riley wouldn't... I pondered for a second before handing her spear back. If she were the type to make rational judgments like that, she wouldn't have thrown the spear in anger to begin with.
"Refrain from attacking when there's no physical threat."
"I'll reflect on it!"
"Yes. Do so."
Of course, I knew it'd go in one ear and out the other, but given my position, I had to say it.
"I'm sorry too."
"...Your Highness?"
But I never expected another voice to chime in right after. I jumped in surprise and whipped my head around at the sound from behind.
"If you think about it, this all happened because I overreacted. I'm sorry for showing such an immature attitude, Ms. Kuntak."
"Huh? Oh, uh... no. I get told I'm noisy all the time anyway."
Why are you suddenly like this? Where did that venomous seed from earlier go? Why turn the mood all heartwarming now? 'Well, she might feel some self-loathing...' She'd lashed out in the heat of the moment, but watching her subordinate go off the rails in response and ruin everything might cool her down. She'd probably realize she came off a bit pathetic. Oh well, nothing to be done. It was a shame the cheap Stein lieutenant dream was gone, but I didn't need to ruin a perfectly nice girl's personality and mood to force it. Besides, if I intervened to create it, it wouldn't qualify as an "ideal mistress" anymore. ...Even I thought I was a hassle of a masochist, but what could I do? This was how I was born.
"I'd been looking forward to hearing Your Lieutenantship's tales of valor, but when that fell through, I took it out on you unfairly."
"Ah... yeah, sorry about that. But it was a story you really wanted to hear. Anyway, I figured asking about your own experiences would be better than hearing secondhand from someone else later."
While I was lost in those weird thoughts, Riley and Saki were already chatting amiably. The other girl just stood there awkwardly, looking tense. It was the natural reaction, really. When things turned out like this, the culprit who'd escalated a fixable verbal spat into a near-brawl was unmistakably her. She'd probably tried to bond with the princess by trash-talking her together, but it'd backfired spectacularly.
...Actually, she'd already gotten negative attention, hadn't she? As I thought that, I belatedly realized something. Oh right, this is the girl who got caught mid-lesbian kiss with me earlier. No wonder she'd gone all-in with the risky moves—to recover the points she'd lost. I felt a twinge of pity, but I couldn't take responsibility for her bad choices.
"So, is there a particular story you'd like to hear? I'm not much of a storyteller, but if you wish, I'll do my best."
I cleared my throat lightly and changed the subject. With her opening up like that and the mood warming, I had no choice but to spin a yarn as the princess wanted. I wasn't so oblivious that I'd ignore her saying she was bummed about missing an entertaining tale. Though honestly, part of it was probably frustration at Beni stealing the spotlight... but pointing that out would've just been picking a fight.
At my words, Princess Saki's eyes widened, and she pondered briefly.
"As an imperial soldier, what was your most memorable moment?"
That was the question after her short deliberation. I'd expected her to pick some famous incident and ask for that story—unexpected. Maybe Riley's comment had influenced her.
"Most memorable moment, you say."
I mulled it over as I slowly started walking. We couldn't just loiter in this awkward spot forever. As I headed to the podium, I racked my brain.
'Riding Lieutenant Stein while she swings the carrot riding crop and we crawl the training grounds on all fours.'
...No way I could say that. I mean, I could, but my life would be over. As a masochist pursuing sustainable torment, I knew better than to make that foolish choice.
"I'm not sure if it's the most, but one thing comes to mind. It's from a recent mission, too."
I came to a decision and tapped the blackboard with my cane.
"Not quite three years ago— a little over two. Frostwood Citadel in Yugten was attacked."
It was the work of radical republicans. Frostwood was unassuming, but its deep history—and being seen as the emperor's treasure—likely factored in. A symbol of tradition and imperial authority. Plus, as a military supply hub, it was perfect for revolutionaries to target.
"There are many reasons why those republicans waving the banner of the Water Returner are dangerous... but the biggest issue is that they secretly pass down methods for making red jade."
Red jade. Essential resource for certain chants or abilities. Mined in three types—amber, gallstone, and relic—but the first two aren't relevant here.
"Relic. Red jade made from humans. Within that group, they share various forbidden techniques, including relic production."
Obviously, members are branded witches for defying church taboos... but as republican revolutionaries, they're already doomed criminals. What's the difference between one beheading and two? Nations like the empire hunt them relentlessly, but unlike that famous Pasteur uncle's words, reds, witches, and heretics don't just spawn from thin air. In this world, they even mutate between each other. The discontented reach for taboos routinely, and taboo-breakers upend society to survive. You eradicate them, but they never vanish completely—sometimes a talented one emerges probabilistically... In a world where personal peaks far outstrip Earth's "geniuses," one can even beat an army. Fail to suppress early, and they snowball around that core. Especially threatening is how they absorb civilians at breakneck speed. Sway them, agitate them, make them limbs—or if they resist, turn them into relics. Perfect.
It was similar almost three years ago. A genius emerged from the cockroach-like survivors, "harvested" an entire city for manpower and jade, then dispersed it for simultaneous terror attacks across the empire.
"My military band had to split into two and deploy. So... Yugten was where I first took the lead percussion role."
How could it not stick in my memory?
"Of course, I just pounded drums, while Dean Myurvel, deployed with us, handled most of it."
A few students reacted to the mention. Purely in spellcasting, she was the top across both continents. A dark elf with three circles? Even my master, with decades under her belt, hadn't reached that. Magic debates were rarer than endless warrior tourneys partly because warriors always win one-on-ones... but anyway.
"With hand seals aiding her saintly arts, she unleashed spells nonstop for hours without a single chant error. She treated massacred civilians in real-time while suppressing countless rebels with prolonged inducement spells..."
Honestly, up to then, I'd thought I was hot stuff—cheat skills, reincarnator perks, all that. But seeing a true genius humbled me instantly. Watching her AOE the city solo left me in awe. A true one-woman show by Dean Myurvel. I wondered if I could even call it joint ops. Minus band conducting, I just swatted spell-disrupting flies—and even botched that, letting some escape and marring the op.
"Barring the few we missed, all captured alive. Not a single kill—an overwhelming display worthy of a model magic knight."
Lots of magic academy students idolized Dean Myurvel. She embodied the ideal mage.
"Yugten looked much the same on my recent visit—untouched since she defended it. Seeing that ravaged city thriving gave me a real sense of fulfillment."
Proof her efforts weren't wasted. ...Minus the pickpockets and terrorists ruining the vibe—no time to soak it in. I'd visit again sometime. Not that far.
"...Hm, guess it wasn't that exciting after all. Summarizing it like this makes it sound pretty mundane."
Separately, I couldn't shake the thought that just grabbing a newspaper from that era would've been better. Sorry, students—I lack the flair to spin yarns entertainingly. I'd laid the groundwork by warning them upfront, so at least I'd met minimal duty. Probably. They couldn't do anything about it anyway—no need to──
"Oh, speaking of which, I recall Riley here barging into the dean's office a while back, begging for stories on how Ms. Konstantia ran her ops."
"Eh?!"
...Days later, hearing Riley had stormed the three-circle's office left me dumbfounded.