From Now On
It had only been a few days since I asked the Minister to become Pedi’s godfather, yet the rumor had spread with astonishing speed.
Strange. I hadn’t deliberately leaked the news, nor had I clamped down on it. How had something that happened in a room with only four people—myself, Mar, the Minister, and his wife—gotten out so quickly?
“The Minister of Finance let it slip to the other ministers, you see.”
I learned the reason during a conversation with the Duke of Victory. Starting the day after I made the offer, the Minister had been cornering every fellow minister he ran into and boasting about it in exhaustive detail.
“He’s probably still at it. He’s not usually one to run his mouth, so he must be looking forward to this more than usual.”
I offered an awkward smile at the Duke’s quiet chuckle.
It really was unexpected. Around me the Minister never filtered a single word, but he was still a count and the head of the Ministry of Finance—a heavyweight in the political world. Setting my personal opinion aside, he was considered a man who knew how to keep secrets.
And that man had turned himself into a high-powered loudspeaker?
Is he trying to lock it in so I can’t back out?
I had no intention of backing out anyway, yet he was going to absurd lengths.
Honestly, the Minister’s personality still made me flinch now and then, but there was no one else I would entrust with the role of godfather. We had made a promise years ago, we were close, and there simply wasn’t anyone else I trusted enough.
Besides, I couldn’t even picture my child having anyone but the Minister as godfather. It was almost enough to make me wonder whether he had brainwashed me without my noticing.
“Still, it’s a bit of a shame. If you weren’t already the Crown Princess’s godfather, I would have taken your son as my own godson.”
“You honor me far too much.”
“Don’t call it an honor when I’m only saying what I want to say.”
Thanks to the Duke’s words, the awkward smile from a moment ago melted into a genuine one.
The man who was already a second father to me certainly had a greedy streak.
The venue for Pedi’s baptism was decided: St. Paronas Cathedral.
Originally I had planned a simple ceremony with a priest from the Dawn Church invited to the mansion. But once the Ausen Archdiocese heard my request, they were the ones who first suggested using St. Paronas Cathedral.
“What could be more meaningful than the first child of two Apostles receiving baptism in the very place where their wedding was held?”
Just listening to the proposal made my chest swell with grandeur—and left me dizzy.
Yes, meaningful. Far too meaningful, that was the problem. Holding a mere noble’s wedding in the cathedral where emperors were crowned had already been enough to drive me insane; now the child’s baptism as well? It was loading far too much honor and authority onto the Crassius name and the title of Count of Tailglehen.
“That sounds excellent. The Lord bestowed His blessing at the Minister’s wedding, and the child arrived right after that ceremony, did he not? A place to commemorate the birth of a child given by God should of course be used.”
Even the Emperor, who ought to have been the first to stop me, voiced his support in the same calm tone he might use to choose tonight’s dinner menu.
That was when I became certain the world had gone mad. No—I had known it already, but now I felt it with painful clarity. An emperor who, instead of checking a subject already burdened with excessive honor and power, actively encouraged him. Keep that up and you’ll get yourself overthrown, you bastard.
Of course I had no intention of leading any revolution. What kind of lunatic would volunteer to become emperor?
Life, honestly.
And so I found myself returning to St. Paronas Cathedral, a place I hadn’t so much as approached since the wedding. I couldn’t very well be the worthless father who no-showed his own son’s baptism.
“I’ve never in my life seen a man hold a family event here. Are you a traitor?”
“Please be quiet.”
I answered with a sigh as the Minister approached, smirking. I hadn’t expected a Crassius family ceremony to take place in the cathedral either.
Besides, if I were a traitor, you would be my fellow conspirator. When they wipe out the ninth degree of kinship, you’ll get swept up right along with me.
At least I won’t die alone.
The thought suddenly put me at ease. There was no way I would die before that man.
“Aww—”
Just as the Minister opened his mouth, taking in my suddenly peaceful expression, Pedi—who had been sleeping in my arms—let out a short babble toward him.
“Oh, you’re awake.”
The surprise babble instantly softened the Minister’s face.
I knew that feeling well. It was the same emotion I felt looking at the Crown Princess, the same one I felt looking at Pedi. The pure voices and tiny gestures of babies made every worldly feeling seem hollow.
“Hmm.”
A smile already on his lips, the Minister bent one knee slightly in front of me and looked at Pedi.
“Thank goodness he doesn’t take after his father.”
Along with a remark that made me question whether his eyesight was failing.
Everyone else said the boy was the spitting image of me. If the godfather’s eyes were this bad, I had no idea what to do about it.
Since we were already at the cathedral, maybe I should recommend he get a healing from a priest?
Ever since receiving the offer to become godfather, I had visited Karl’s mansion whenever I had a free moment. All for the sake of seeing Ferdinand Crassius—Pedi—the boy who would soon be my godson.
Even the purest infants grow shy around strangers. In fact, babies who know nothing of the world are often the most bashful of all. To prevent the disaster of my godson bursting into tears at the sight of his godfather during the baptism, it was only right that I gradually let him grow used to my face.
Fortunately Karl possessed enough intelligence to recognize the necessity, so he neither shunned nor drove me out when I kept dropping by the newlywed mansion.
And so I spent my time watching Pedi sleep, letting him grip my finger, soothing him when he cried, and meeting his eyes—right up until today, the day of the baptism.
Karl’s child.
I listened to the cardinal’s blessing with one ear and let it out the other while gazing at Pedi.
At the tiny boy Karl had handed into my arms the moment the blessing began.
My godson.
Living proof that a promise long buried in the past had resurfaced into the world.
…Still doesn’t take after his father.
I stared blankly at Pedi and felt the corner of my mouth lift. Before I arrived he had been sleeping quietly in Karl’s arms; even after settling into mine he remained utterly still, not a single little kick.
I could never be certain about the looks, but the temperament clearly came from the mother, not the father. A genuine relief.
The world doesn’t need another one of that bastard.
One was already enough to make my head spin. Two of them? That would be a catastrophe for the Empire and the continent alike.
“My name is Karl Crassius! I will devote myself body and soul to the Imperial Family and the Empire!”
While everyone else wore gloomy faces and ground themselves down under the workload, there had been that oblivious fool bellowing his greeting as if life were wonderful.
“Team Leader, is there anything I can help with?”
A strange fellow who, despite being the heir of an Imperial Count, had shown consistent respect to a superior from a far humbler house.
“What the fuck! My department!”
When the entire leadership of Audit Department Section 4, Team 4 was wiped out, he had floundered yet still stubbornly tried to hold the team together.
“Is it even possible for a single team to handle this workload? Not a whole section?”
“Look at this bastard. Gets promoted to team leader and starts talking like he’s full. If this were a section-level job it would be ten times bigger.”
“Life is fucking—”
No matter how you looked at it, he had only entered the department to pad his résumé with family influence. Yet even when everything went wrong he refused to leave and simply endured—an incomprehensible man.
“Deployment? What are you talking about! Team 4 has only just learned to walk! Ordinary missions are already dangerous enough—sending them to war is no different from telling them to die!”
“Section Chief… if I had done a little better, could more of them have lived?”
“…Somehow, even knowing it’s a lie, it still puts my heart at ease.”
A man overflowing with sentiment who had shown genuine care for every disposable low-ranking auditor, treating them not as subordinates but as colleagues.
“Where the hell did they dig up these idiots?”
“Says the chief idiot.”
“If everyone’s an idiot, isn’t the senior one the biggest problem?”
“You damn bastards.”
And yet he had formed friendships with the other team leaders of commoner origin—a peculiar man.
Truly an indescribable oddball. He had pulled off stunts that matched neither his age, his station, nor his experience. When he dueled Sarey Dobra Talla and Myeolse one-on-one, I really had wondered what kind of creature he was.
Still, I hadn’t disliked him. A man who could have escaped the Audit Department at any time yet stubbornly stayed; a young man who advanced by ability rather than connections; someone who paid no mind to another’s rank. It left an impression.
That was probably why I kept an eye on him. Looking at him was never boring. Watching him bicker with the other team leaders felt as though I had suddenly gained seven childish sons.
“I don’t understand why only I was left behind. What does God intend to use me for, taking everyone else and leaving only me!”
But that joy had not lasted long. Of those seven honorary sons, six were gone.
“How did this happen! We were certain the matter had been properly resolved!”
When he learned the Audit Department Chief was connected to Hecate’s death, the man had lost his mind and charged the Chief head-on while still only a team leader.
After that, Karl never returned to the Karl of the past. He had taken his revenge, gained honor, seized power—yet he never went back to those days.
That same man, after long wandering, had finally found new happiness. Only now could he acknowledge the past without drowning in it.
…Please take after your mother.
That was why Pedi did not resemble Karl. He must not.
This child had no need to wander through darkness before finding the light the way Karl had. He could simply walk forward in brilliance from the very beginning. Even if that made for a dull story with not a single crisis, as far as novels were concerned.
I would make it so. As the incompetent honorary father who had lost six children, as the man who had failed even to properly embrace the one who remained. Without fail.
Because you are my grandson.
This world will call our relationship that of godfather and godson.
Even so, I think of you as my grandson. You are the child of the man who is as good as a son to me.
You are the sole fruit of a promise I once carried alone that has now stepped out into the world.
It is different from the first promise.
I had believed you would appear as Hecate’s child. Instead you are the child of another woman entirely—if a promise can go wrong, this one went spectacularly wrong.
But it does not matter. As Karl said, there is no one left who can scold us for a broken promise. Finding even the traces of a collapsed vow and rebuilding it is something that deserves praise.
So I will regard you as my promise.
No matter what anyone says. Even if the six who left before me click their tongues at me.
From now on—without fail.