With a New Heart - 5
Though I shared an awkward silence with the Emperor, he mercifully asked nothing further once he heard it was a gift from the Retired Emperor. All he showed was an intense determination to make our conversation revolve around one single topic: what, exactly, I had discussed with the Retired Emperor.
It was pure question and answer—no subtle digs, no dumping of work onto me. I had known the Emperor for years, yet a conversation this ordinary felt like something I had not had in ages. Or perhaps this was the first time ever.
That was why, the moment I left the Imperial Palace after finishing our talk, I found myself absently stroking Injeolmi nestled in my arms. Simply having this little one with me had plummeted the difficulty of speaking with the Emperor.
Defensive totem.
The thought struck me unbidden. This bright, tiny Injeolmi was the Retired Emperor’s mercy upon me, the man being grilled by the Emperor. With this child at my side, I feared nothing.
Let’s stay together for life.
I made the vow while watching Injeolmi, who seemed to like my petting so much that she was already licking my face.
I would see to it that our Injeolmi—no, our little bundle of fortune—lived a dog’s life that even the wealthiest households would envy.
When the man who had left early in the morning returned with a puppy in tow, the lovers and servants at the mansion looked thoroughly flustered. I would have been just as startled in their place, so I understood.
Fortunately, the bewilderment blanketing the mansion faded almost at once. Whatever the process, they now had an adorable pet. Unless someone hated animals or was allergic to dog fur, there was no reason to object.
“The Retired Emperor bestowed her upon you?”
“Mm. He said she seemed to take to me well, so I should take her. Apparently she’ll live at least ten years.”
I answered Mar calmly while watching the little fortune bundle strut proudly around the room.
Mar tilted her head, looking even more confused.
“Then… was that child already there when you went to see the Retired Emperor?”
I lowered my gaze a little at that. I simply could not bring myself to explain that the Retired Emperor was running a Bremen Town Musicians act in a corner of the Imperial Palace.
Anyone who came and went from the palace already knew, but that also meant it was a top-secret matter to those without access. I lacked the courage to be the one who revealed it.
“Horses and such are presented to the Imperial Family from time to time. She must have come along then.”
Mar nodded as if accepting the excuse I had wrung out of nowhere. More precisely, she seemed to decide it was close enough and let it go.
— Wang!
A bright bark from the little fortune bundle drew my eyes. She had climbed onto Trixie’s hair, which was scattered across the floor, and was rolling around on it.
Oh, for heaven’s sake.
My blood ran cold. However mild Trixie’s temperament might be, a furry beast playing with her hair was another matter entirely. Even someone who loved dogs would not enjoy one slurping on their hair.
“Heh… what an energetic little one.”
Yet Trixie only smiled faintly at the sight. I had fretted she might be displeased, so the relief was welcome.
“But Oppa. What’s her name?”
“Huh?”
While the little fortune bundle monopolized every gaze in the room, Irina’s casual question pulled every eye toward me.
Only then did I realize: I had been calling her the little fortune bundle as a temporary label, but I had never given her an official name.
A name, huh.
I rubbed my chin and sank into thought. Of course, as a dog the Retired Emperor had raised, she already had a name he had given her—
“For convenience I simply called her Number Three, but now that the Minister will raise the child, the Minister should bestow a new name.”
Even so, Number Three was out of the question. It was such a wretched name that I would have renamed her even if the Retired Emperor had never told me to.
I looked down at the little fortune bundle with a bitter feeling. How could a dog’s name be Number Three? The man who freely handed out ducal titles suddenly turned cold-hearted toward the dog he raised himself.
“How about Beatitudo?”
After a moment’s deliberation I spoke the official name.
Beatitudo—a beautiful Latin word meaning happiness. A fitting name for the defensive totem who had let my conversation with the Emperor end without incident. With her at my side, even visits to the Imperial Palace might feel happy.
“…How about Titi?”
“Mm, that works.”
Strange. I had clearly offered my opinion, yet it was ignored as naturally as breathing.
The sight summoned the nightmare of “Lu.” The name I had thought was fine must have been nothing special to everyone else.
What’s wrong with Beatitudo?
I quietly closed my eyes against the unfairness. If only they had known the name the Retired Emperor gave her, they would have realized how fairy-like mine was.
If forced to choose between Number Three and Beatitudo, they would have picked the latter without hesitation.
Not many days after my audience with His Majesty the Emperor, I was summoned again.
Moreover, he said it concerned the title bestowal he had mentioned last time, so I hurried my steps. Moving sluggishly and giving the impression I objected to receiving a title would only cause trouble.
Yet the moment I arrived at His Majesty’s office, I heard something entirely different from a title.
“I hear the young lady of Marquis Barandiga is a rare talent possessed of both valor and wisdom. She happens to be of an age with you as well, so I hope a fine connection may form.”
He had phrased it as a “fine connection,” yet I understood at once that he was effectively recommending her as a marriage partner.
No—calling it “phrased indirectly” was itself embarrassing; the expression was that direct. If I had failed to notice even this much, I would have been dead three years ago.
“However, ability and character aside, the young lady has spent long years living as a nomad, so there is a high chance she may feel somewhat awkward with you.”
At the words that I should speak up if I found the idea distasteful, I quietly bowed my head. Whether those words were sincere or merely ceremonial, I could not tell.
One thing alone was certain. The fact that His Majesty himself had brought up the young lady of Marquis Barandiga meant—that my marrying her would benefit the Imperial Family and the Empire.
“Whatever the past may have been, we are now members of the same Empire; how could there be awkwardness? I shall follow Your Majesty’s words with a glad heart.”
“I am grateful you say so.”
Pleased by my answer, His Majesty replied in a gentle voice.
Yes, this was the correct choice. Even if His Majesty had been willing to withdraw the marriage, this decision was right for everyone.
And it is good for me as well.
Indeed—this was not a case of everyone becoming happy through my sacrifice. It was a case of everyone, myself included, becoming happy.
Had I heard these words back when my heart still belonged to Luise, I would have despaired. I would have been forced to marry another while holding someone else in my heart, and refusing would have risked not only my own life but harm to Luise as well.
But that was no longer the case. Whether I should call it fortunate I did not know, yet Luise and I had become people who shared mutual friendship rather than one-sided love. With my personal desire gone, I could properly fulfill my duty as a member of the Imperial Family.
If there is no desire left to pursue, then one must follow duty.
And that duty was not even a duty that led into hellfire. Marquis Barandiga was the sole marquis of the North; His Majesty would never slight him or use him lightly and cast him aside.
Moreover, considering the faction to which Marquis Barandiga belonged, the chances of him being heavily employed were high. Linking me to the daughter of such a noble meant not only that he valued Marquis Barandiga, but that he intended to treat me well as well.
Therefore it was a marriage that made everyone happy. I was not walking into an unreasonable crisis; I was advancing toward a peaceful future. Being born into the Imperial Family meant political marriage was something one prepared for, and since I had once loved someone with all my heart, I had no regrets.
Imperial Family, is it.
Still with my head bowed, I allowed a faint smile.
The imperial prince who had lived as if dead to avoid his half-brother’s gaze, who had fled into the Academy, no longer existed. In this place remained only a member of the Imperial Family who would devote himself to the Imperial House as the Emperor’s blood kin.
I had to admit it. From now on there was no need to carry excessive tension before His Majesty. I had to move forward with a new heart, different from before.
Only when twenty was right before my eyes did I become a true member of the Imperial Family.
A hollow laugh threatened to escape. While my full brother still lived, every interest and gaze had focused solely on him and I had lived quietly; after my half-brother’s victory I had kept silent simply because I was a half-sibling. That bleak life was now transforming into a new one through marriage.
I will fulfill my duties.
So whether it was the duty of the Imperial Family or the duty of a husband, I would not neglect them. That would be the least courtesy I could show the future wife who had become the turning point of my life.
…Yet what sort of person would that wife be? I remembered every child of high nobility of any note, but she was a newly risen noble and I had no information on her.
My fist trembled. Had it not been for Father, I would already have struck him once.
This underhanded—
My teeth ground together. Underhanded and calculating as he was—Father had waited until we reached the Imperial Capital before revealing the true reason he had dragged me here. Now that I could neither return alone to the territory nor hide somewhere, he spoke openly.
“Calm yourself. A woman soon to become the wife of an imperial prince cannot show such a ferocious face.”
“Father!”
“My ears are perfectly fine, so speak more quietly.”
Father’s indifferent answer made my teeth chatter even harder. Just one hit, please, just one…!
And of all places, there are so many eyes watching!
I bit my lip. This was the Imperial Capital, and more specifically the mansion of Count Tailglehen—no, of the Count of Tailglehen, with whom Father shared deep ties. A residence the Count had provided as lodging for the great northern lords who still lacked mansions of their own in the capital.
I could not create a scandal here as “the daughter who assaulted her father.” With every noble concentrated in the capital, such an incident would pour contempt not only upon Father but upon all of us from the North.
“…I told you I had no intention of marrying.”
Thus I forced myself to calm down and opened my mouth, only for Father to scowl and raise his voice instead.
“When did you ever say that! You only strung together a long list of conditions; you never declared you would remain unmarried!”
“No, if I set conditions that strict, you should have taken the hint! I have no intention of marrying!”
Father staggered, clutching the back of his neck with a trembling hand.
I felt a little sorry for the reaction, but this time Father was clearly in the wrong. Dragging someone who had no such thoughts all the way to the capital just to set a board from which she could not refuse?
Absolutely not.
I refuse. I refuse with everything I have. I have no interest in men weaker than myself, I dislike settled people whose thoughts do not match mine even more, and I dislike an imperial prince raised like a flower in a garden even more, more, more.
“When I received the marquisate! How much I wept before our ancestors’ graves! That we had become high nobility counted among the Empire’s finest, that we could offer glory to our ancestors for generation after generation—I prayed—”
I ignored whatever Father was shouting.
Now that I was already in the capital I could not avoid meeting that so-called imperial prince, but I had no intention of simply nodding along. I would thrash and struggle with everything I had to escape the marriage.
Without fail!