Not Alone - 1
I sat alone in the Baking Club room, staring blankly out the window at the sky. Storm after storm of events had come crashing down one after another, leaving my head a throbbing, tangled mess. If I had my way, I would have slept for three solid days straight.
If a person sleeps that long, their body wastes away.
Even worse, the voice that drilled straight into my skull made me feel like I was losing my mind.
I was just thinking out loud. I couldn't sleep that long even if I wanted to.
Really? Well, that's a relief, then.
I let out a quiet sigh at the calm, feminine voice of the Eternal Blue Sky.
Having the Eternal Blue Sky whisper into my head was nothing new. She had done the same right after moving her residence from my body to the World Tree (pending promotion). Of course, after a few days the residual divine power left in me faded, the conversations stopped, and I thought that was the end of our connection.
Until I noticed that my beloved sword had evolved in a very strange way.
I didn't need this kind of evolution.
I looked bitterly at the sword hanging at my waist. A sturdy, familiar blade I had used for years had suddenly evolved into a divine artifact overnight.
Thinking about it carefully, though, the evolution made perfect sense. Even the spear that pierced Jesus's side to confirm his death was treated as a holy relic—the Spear of Longinus or whatever they called it. My sword, however, hadn't merely confirmed a death; it had delivered one. It had cut down an apostle itself and been soaked in his blood. A mad object like that, left sitting for three years with no purification or special treatment, was inevitably going to evolve into a divine artifact linked to the Eternal Blue Sky.
Huh? Wait, wait. What is this? This was here?
The fact that even the goddess herself hadn't known about it was strange. Was this that Schrödinger thing—where you can't know until you observe it?
But you're really giving me the divine artifact, right? You'll hand it over once the business is finished, yes?
I was the one who offered it first. I don't lie.
I gave a half-hearted reply to the Eternal Blue Sky as she repeated the question for what felt like the hundredth time.
Handing over my beloved sword was a little sad, but the thought of keeping a blade steeped in Kagan's blood forever felt even worse. Besides, returning the divine artifact to the Eternal Blue Sky would only speed up the World Tree's promotion. Passing it on was better than clinging to it.
I had attached the condition that she would receive it only after the work was done, but from her perspective—getting a free divine artifact she thought had vanished completely—even that was something to be grateful for.
Heh, sorry. It's been so long since I saw a divine artifact. My heart's pounding.
Having received confirmation of the transfer again, the Eternal Blue Sky spoke in an excited voice. Being a goddess, at least her voice wasn't grating—
Um, there's something I've been wondering about.
Huh? What is it?
Why do you keep talking to me when you're at the World Tree? There are elves and fairies nearby, aren't there?
At the fundamental question I had been nursing for a while, the Eternal Blue Sky suddenly fell silent.
It really was strange, though. She wasn't homeless, so why keep clinging to me? At first I thought she was just sticky because she was greedy for the divine artifact, but she was still talking to me even after I confirmed I would give it to her.
They're exhausting over there.
Excuse me?
The answer that came back was unexpected.
I'm grateful they're worshipping me, but it's too tiring. They check on me almost every hour and keep pruning branches. I can't get a moment's peace.
I quietly bowed my head at the raw exhaustion in her words.
The fairies especially never stop chattering. I have no idea how Constantina managed to raise kids like these...
For a moment the divine being felt less like a goddess and more like an aunt who had fled from her overbearing nieces and nephews.
The atmosphere at the Academy lately had not been good. More precisely, it had been bad ever since the day of the Emperor's summons.
Prince Ainter and the headmaster—who was treated as a department-head-level figure—had both attended the summons, so news of it spread through the entire Academy in no time. When the prince and the headmaster abruptly left during regular class hours, how could anyone fail to notice?
On top of that, the Emperor had thoroughly squeezed the nobles for private troops and war funds, so the noble students inevitably learned of the declaration of war as well. When your own family was already preparing for war, remaining ignorant would have been the stranger thing.
"Brother, do you really have to go? You're already so busy with Academy work. Couldn't someone else... someone else go instead..."
And the Baking Club was no different.
No—it was actually worse. Ainter, who had attended the summons; the Demon Duke; and me, already decided as a participant. With a lineup that grand standing right there, our club was the place most heavily affected by the declaration of war. Even our guest Irina was the daughter of Count Planbel, who was himself under the summons. What a spectacular roster.
As a result, ever since the summons I had been subjected to tearful persuasion. If I went to the president's office, Margeta got to me; if I came to the club room, Luise and Irina took over.
The Demon Duke, at least, knew that my participation was the Emperor's will and kept silent—though even she kept looking at me with those pitiful eyes.
"I told you not to worry. I'm joining as an inspector. I'll be stuck at headquarters most of the time, so there won't be much fighting."
Every time the persuasion came around, I soothed them with the same words.
I heard it every day—sometimes multiple times a day—but it never felt bothersome. How could I be annoyed by people worrying about me? I was only grateful and a little sorry.
"I'm not going as combat personnel. When a large force gathers, all sorts of things happen, so my job is just to go check on them."
Of course, it was a lie. An Emperor who had given me a title and a territory just to send me to war would never want me in a purely non-combat role. He wasn't ordering me to the front lines, but he definitely expected me to serve as a joker card ready for emergency deployment. I wanted that myself.
But I couldn't tell them the truth. Just the fact that I was going to the battlefield already had them pale and on the verge of tears. If I added that I might have to fight myself? They would either faint or break down sobbing. The future was obvious.
A white lie.
There shouldn't be secrets between lovers, but this was an act of kindness for my lovers' mental health. A little lying is necessary to get through life.
That was what I believed.
"But... just going to the North is the problem..."
I gently stroked Luise's hair as she muttered in a voice thick with tears.
The reason Luise and the others tried to stop me wasn't simply because war was dangerous. They knew what I had gone through in the last Great Subjugation War. That was why they were like this.
But what could I do? The very reason Luise was trying to hold me back was the reason I wanted to return to the North. I couldn't say that either, so I kept it to myself.
"I'm really fine now, so stop worrying. If I didn't want to go, would I have agreed so easily?"
It was a statement that reeked of treason when spoken in the presence of a prince, but if it would soothe Luise—and Irina and the Demon Duke, who were listening quietly—then I had to say at least this much.
Ainter himself seemed to understand Luise's feelings and remained silent, and it wasn't as if I had meant I was actually refusing to go.
"Besides, I even received a title. That's one more thing I can pass down to my children—"
"Brother!"
Luise shrieked, and Irina's eyes sharpened.
Damn it. That had been an unnecessary addition. I had almost gotten them to calm down, and then I scored an own goal.
But wasn't having more titles to pass down a good thing?
Only after club hours ended, when Erich pointed it out, did I finally understand my mistake.
"In that situation, talking about 'passing things down' makes it sound like you're going to die in the war."
"Ah."
I understood at once. A death flag was definitely something worth getting angry over.
"And just in case, don't say anything like 'Let's get married after the war ends,' either. Luise and Irina have been incredibly sensitive lately."
I nodded solemnly at the sincere advice. The marriage talk I had planned to bring up with Margeta tomorrow or the day after was hereby cancelled. If the treasure of Valenti started wailing, I would first have to spar with the Iron Blood Duke.
"And, hyung."
Just as I was about to thank Erich—who had completely failed at his own romance yet somehow delivered precious advice to his older brother—he opened his mouth again.
"I also wish you wouldn't join the war, but if you absolutely have to go... you should stop by the territory."
I patted Erich's shoulder.
Yes, of course I would. It was only proper to greet the family head and Mother before leaving.
"I'll definitely go before the war. Thanks for telling me."
At my answer, Erich's expression turned strangely complicated.
"Um... I think you need to go as soon as possible."
"Hm?"
That was an odd reply. Hadn't he simply meant I should pay my respects before the war?
"...Mother collapsed."
The hand patting his shoulder froze solid.
I paced in front of the bedroom door, sighing again and again.
I knew it was undignified behavior for a noble and a lord, but I simply could not stay still. What husband could remain calm when his wife had collapsed?
The shock must have been too great.
During the previous war, my wife had already fainted from the news that Karl and I would both be going to the front. Before the trauma and nightmares from that time had even faded, war news had returned after only three years. Of course she would collapse.
If only—if only I could have kept Karl out of it. Then my wife might have been sad, but she would have endured somehow. She had long since prepared herself for the fact that I, as an Imperial Count, would go to war. But the idea of a son who had only just begun to find happiness marching back into the jaws of death was something no amount of denial could make her accept.
I sighed once more. The bedroom door opened and the head maid stepped out.
"Head maid. How is my wife?"
I hurried over and asked about her condition. The head maid shook her head with a dark expression.
"She woke up a short while ago, but she collapsed again while crying."
"Haa..."
A sigh escaped on its own. She would cry herself into exhaustion and collapse, then the moment she managed to rise she would think of her husband and son heading to war and start crying again. I was terrified that something might happen to her if this continued.
For a fleeting moment I even wondered whether I should have hidden the war news, but it was a meaningless thought. How could anyone hide a war that would decide the fate of the Empire? And if she found out later that I had hidden it, she would have felt betrayal on top of grief. Her condition would have been even worse than it was now.
"Also... my lady begged me to bring Young Master Karl to her. She said she must see him, no matter what."
I did not even want to imagine how many tears had been poured into that single word—"begged."