Crushed by an Uninvited Calamity - 3
Family. An ordinary word, yet one that had never once been bound up with my life. No—more precisely, it was a shackle and a brand that had done me far more harm than good.
To me, family meant only a cold, mechanical father-emperor; a mother who held the Aesselon house dearer than the imperial family or the empire itself; and a full older brother who, simply by being the legitimate eldest son, enjoyed more than his ability or temperament had ever deserved. Even if I had tried to feel affection for them, I could not. From the beginning I had stood so far from the line of succession that those who called themselves my family never so much as looked my way.
But then the succession, which had been flowing around my full brother—the Second Prince—shifted without warning, and everything went to hell. The First Prince had the Duke of Victory at his back, and the Duke of Victory himself had just risen as a war hero after quieting the northern unrest. Naturally the Second Prince, who had nothing to offer beyond the fact of his legitimacy, collapsed—and the First Prince, long ground down by the Second Prince's faction, swung the blade of revenge.
"Whose child are you supposed to be? Were you that bitch Seleden's spawn as well?"
When the purge drew near and Mother and my full brother reached even for me, the sight went past dismay into pure absurdity. With the contest already decided, what could a mere Third Prince possibly do? Had I been raised with any real family affection, I might have risked death to help them—but to me they were family in name alone.
And so they spat their rage and hatred, driving at me as if I had been born of the empress. If only that had been true, I would at least have been free of the fear of dying.
"Your Highness's choice to remain silent to the end rather than stand with the Second Prince was a wise one."
Fortunately, turning my back on that name-only family and holding my breath brought its own reward. The Audit Department Chief, who had been leading the purge as the newly made Crown Prince's right hand—my half-brother—approached me after disposing of Mother and my brother. Keep quiet, he said, and your life will be spared.
I was glad to have kept my head, and yet the situation itself was bitterly sad. Because of a family that was no family at all, I had nearly been beheaded. I spent the years that followed never knowing when my half-brother might turn and come for my throat.
That is why family, to me, is a shackle heavier than anything else—an indelible brand.
"We're the only brothers left now, aren't we. Just the two of us, and we've been far too distant."
Until the moment His Highness the Crown Prince suddenly said those words, that had certainly been the case.
Strange. By attending this year's New Year's Audience I had been restored as a proper member of the imperial family—but that was all, I thought. My existence could no longer threaten the Crown Prince's position, so he had granted me the bare minimum of recognition for the prosperity of the imperial house. That was how I saw it.
But summoning me in person for a private conversation was another matter entirely. It would have been enough to treat me as a prince rather than a younger brother, yet His Highness the Crown Prince spoke of brothers and of a younger sibling.
As if he truly regarded me as family. As if he meant to clear away the awkwardness that had stood between us all this time.
"Your Highness is destined to become the sun one day. I know how you devote yourself always to the empire—how could I presume upon fraternal affection and become a burden at Your Highness's feet?"
The words of humility left my mouth at once, faster even than the whitening of my hair—instinct, forged by years of reading every room. Was this a trap as well? If I treated His Highness as a brother rather than the Crown Prince here, would that give him the pretext for a purge?
"Don't say such things. Even the great Emperor Eimanka founded the empire with his younger brothers' help—how could I, who am less than he was, stand alone?"
His Highness the Crown Prince gently shook his head and continued in a soft voice. Unfamiliar. Was this man capable of such warm words?
"Your Highness, Young Master—please speak while you drink."
"Thank you, my lady."
"Th-thank you, Your Highness."
As I sat frozen in bewilderment, the follow-up strike landed. Her Highness the Crown Princess herself brought the tea, and she called me Young Master rather than Third Prince. Just as His Highness the Crown Prince had named me a younger brother, Her Highness too was declaring she would treat me as family.
The unbroken chain of unimaginable events made my head spin. Was I dreaming?
"The Crown Princess has been accomplished in the tea ceremony since our Academy days. It should suit your palate."
"Y-yes. I will drink it gratefully."
His Highness the Crown Prince, who had already taken a sip, spoke quietly toward me.
First...
He had tasted the shared food first. Was he proving with his own body that there was no threat of poison?
"How has Academy life been treating you?"
"By His Majesty's grace, which extends across the entire empire, I am spending my days without discomfort and in good spirits."
"I'm glad to hear it."
The answer sprang from instinct at the abrupt question. And of all possible topics, the Academy—I felt as if I were sitting on a bed of thorns.
An interrogation?
Cold sweat seemed to bead on my skin. If he was pressing me over the Academy, there was plenty to seize on. Friendship with major foreign figures; contact with the heirs of the empire's frontier margraves; and—though I hadn't known it at the time—sharing a club with the Demon Duke's sole disciple. Each alone was enough to invite suspicion—
"I hear the Demon Duke is going to the Academy this year as a visiting lecturer. You'll have a rare experience."
"...Pardon?"
My mind stopped. I even committed the rudeness of questioning His Highness the Crown Prince outright.
Yet as if he understood that fatal discourtesy and mistake, His Highness the Crown Prince merely nodded.
"The Demon Duke seems to dote on her disciple. Once Lady Luise graduates, it will be a miracle never to be repeated."
And then he sipped his tea as if nothing were amiss, and I felt only wonder. At the Crown Prince's level, could one react so calmly even to events that defied common sense?
"But this will be the first time a duke has taken up residence at the Academy, will it not? With honored guests from other nations present as well, I am concerned that the Demon Duke's stay might cause... inconvenience."
At those words my head cleared at once. The sudden mention of the Academy; the Demon Duke visiting it; the worry that something might go wrong while the strength of three nations resided there.
Setting aside the talk of brothers and younger siblings, combining only the rest yielded a swift conclusion. Through this New Year's Audience he had restored my rights as a member of the imperial family—now I was to fulfill an imperial family's duty and prevent any incident at the Academy.
This is better.
The tension drained away at high speed. Better this than some unfathomable summons and conversation. At least it was the Crown Prince giving an order to a member of the imperial house.
A meeting I could fully understand; a conversation that made sense. That first talk of brothers and so on must have been ceremonial words to soothe a prince performing his duty for the first time.
"Please set your mind at ease, Your Highness. Though I am lacking, I am still a Livnoman—I will do my utmost so that the Demon Duke and the guests of honor suffer no discomfort."
"Good. Knowing you are at the Academy puts my mind somewhat at rest."
His Highness the Crown Prince nodded as if he had been waiting for those words.
As expected—it really had been a work conversation.
After Ainter left, I remained seated and drank what was left of the tea.
"Your Highness."
At the Crown Princess's voice I turned my head gently. The wry smile on her face the moment I looked made my mood anything but pleasant.
"Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. I'm more worried about Ainter."
A sigh escaped on its own. After much deliberation I had arranged this meeting, and it had ended without the slightest progress. At this rate, wouldn't a letter have been better than a face-to-face?
"A man who once sought his life is suddenly acting familiar—his stomach must have turned."
Another sigh. Right after winning the succession struggle and dealing with Dorgos, my eyes had truly flipped, and I had meant to dispose of Ainter as well.
What if the Second Prince's faction regrouped around Ainter as their focal point? What if the sole legitimate son became a drag on my heels? Of course one could call it an overreaction. But if I acted soft, the damage would spread to the Crown Princess and my father-in-law as well. Thinking that way, I could not let even the slightest possibility pass.
Yet no matter how hard I looked, Ainter offered no pretext for a purge, and in the end I had been forced to settle for stripping him of his rights as an imperial family member. Looking back now, it was fortunate it ended that way.
"Coming around this late is hypocrisy too."
"Your Highness."
Even against the Crown Princess's voice full of worry, that thought did not change.
Yes—hypocrisy. I had resented a father-emperor who had no family affection, and yet I myself had tried to kill my younger brother and was now belatedly playing the older brother. Wasn't all of it hypocrisy and pretense?
Worse, I had only attempted this hypocrisy once my position was secure and the abdication was nearly upon us. I had known long ago that Ainter was innocent—yet only after my own safety was assured, only after I had room to breathe, had I performed this hypocrisy as if bestowing charity.
No wonder talk of work felt easier.
Ainter had been rigid throughout our conversation, and only after I brought up official business did the tension seem to ease and his mouth open naturally.
Bitter. A boy who could not imagine speaking privately as brothers, who only felt safe discussing official matters. But whom could I blame? I was the one who made him that way.
"My lady."
"Yes, Your Highness."
"Do you think it's too late?"
The words were directed at the Crown Princess, but they were also for myself.
An older brother who once tried to kill his younger sibling; a younger brother who has lived watching that older brother's every mood. Was it already far too late for these two to become ordinary brothers?
"It may not have been early—but it is not yet too late, either."
At the Crown Princess's gentle words I quietly lifted the corner of my mouth. Well—was it truly not too late?
"The Young Master will have understood Your Highness's heart as well. Until now he could not approach any official duty, but now, as a rightful member of the imperial family, he can serve the empire."
At that I nodded without thinking. Attendance at the New Year's Audience, followed by the assignment of work—this was unmistakably treatment as a proper imperial.
Not an imperial in name only, but one who performed his duties; an imperial who received rightful recognition. That boy was no fool—he would have noticed long ago.
"It may be too much for now, but someday he will realize that what Your Highness offered was a hand of reconciliation."
Yes. I hope so.
Goddamn it.
"Excuse me, Your Excellency—forgive me, but could you say that again?"
"The number of foreign enrollees has increased. The largest scale on record, in fact."
At the Minister of Foreign Affairs's words I clutched my head.
Students... can be copied...?