The Capital's Groom of the Year - 4
Mother, how have you been? This devoted son of yours has committed an unfilial crime for the ages—I no-showed the family introductions. You must have been so pleased to hear that the heir who'd been tap-dancing at the very edge of marriageable age was finally getting married. I am truly sorry for serving you such a creative form of heartbreak.
But no matter how I turn it over, I really don't think this was my fault.
"The chef put special effort into today's meal. I only hope it will suit your taste."
"I am most humbled, Your Majesty."
When someone that high up says, Come eat, how exactly are you supposed to refuse?
Of course you can't make any excuse when the invitation comes from the Emperor. Maybe if I'd had a prior engagement with the Pope—but there was never going to be anything of the sort. So the family introductions, and everything else, went straight out the window. I had no choice but to sprint over like a dog and slam my forehead to the floor.
"Be at ease. This gathering is to honor the Audit Department Chief's labors."
I was still rigid from the sudden calamity of an imperial summons when the Emperor waved a hand and said that. Be at ease. As if anyone could be at ease in your shoes.
Still, when the Emperor tells you to be at ease, you smile even in the pits of hell. Honestly, Your Majesty, this feels just like home, and the food tastes just like home cooking… I'm so comfortable I might ascend straight to paradise…
"Yes, Your Majesty. I shall do so."
The Emperor nodded at my tearful compliance and took a bite of bread. At that, I—and the Crown Prince and Crown Princess seated with us—began to eat as well.
I felt like I was going to choke. The silver lining, if you could call it one, was that this really did seem to be a meal of pure commendation. Had it been an interrogation or a briefing session, I wouldn't have merely choked—I might have died sitting upright in my chair.
Just give me money instead.
I chewed my salad in silence and kept the thought locked behind my teeth. Commendation didn't need a banquet like this. A pile of glittering gold coins would have done just fine. If only the exalted people of this world would understand that.
From a noble's perspective, dining with the Emperor is the kind of achievement you put on your résumé in thirty-point font. But once is enough, isn't it? Being dragged into these seats over and over is just depressing.
"Audit Department Chief. Have you found any inconvenience in your life at the Academy?"
Shit.
I hastily swallowed my salad at the ambush of a question. He'd said to be at ease. Since when was talking shop over a meal "being at ease"?
Or, from this workaholic Emperor's point of view, did this kind of conversation not even count as work? That was disturbingly plausible.
"Your Majesty's grace reaches even the Academy. How could there be any inconvenience?"
"I am well aware of your efforts. With the Third Prince and such distinguished guests in residence, how could it be easy?"
For a split second, Then send them somewhere else surged all the way up to the tip of my tongue. I swallowed it.
"The guests, in particular, concern me. Life in the Empire will be unfamiliar to them. I worry they may wander alone and lose their way."
"Please set your mind at ease. This servant will see that they want for nothing."
"Hearing you say so puts me at ease. Attend to the guests wholeheartedly, together with the Third Prince."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
With that, the Emperor closed his mouth again. On the surface he sounded like a warm-hearted host fretting over his guests—
Still the same.
But under it all was a generous helping of the Emperor's chronic suspicion.
Worried they might wander alone because life was unfamiliar? That was code for I'm worried those royals will go poking around imperial secrets for no good reason. They were already hard enough to handle as royalty; having them park themselves in the Empire under the perfectly legal cover of "students" clearly grated on him.
So, in the usual roundabout way, he was telling me—the man already at the Academy—to keep a close eye on them. He always had, and he always would.
Well. It's only normal, I suppose.
I felt a little sorry for him. Suspicion or not, from a statesman's standpoint the guess was reasonable. If foreign royalty suddenly enrolled at the imperial Academy, wouldn't anyone react like this?
But he was wrong. Those people had zero interest in anything as grand as state secrets. They were pure casual players. If the Emperor had a sin, it was looking at abnormal specimens through a normal person's eyes—trying to rationally understand a pack of eccentrics who simply could not be understood.
Of course I had no intention of telling him the truth. If I said to the Emperor, They were only interested in romance, got rejected as a group, and are just out having fun now, my skull would crack open. He'd probably suspect I'd taken a bribe and was speaking kindly on purpose. Honestly, I'd suspect the same in his place.
Right. Better keep my mouth shut. It was a pity the Emperor was nursing a pointless suspicion, but in the middle of it he'd told me to look after the guests together with Ainter. Coming after the New Year's address, this was the Emperor acknowledging Ainter as a full member of the imperial family. I decided to take it as a win.
"Heh heh. The Audit Department Chief enjoys His Majesty's trust as well."
Just as I carefully set about cutting my steak, the Crown Princess spoke up this time.
At least my heart didn't seize the way it had a moment ago. The Crown Princess was famous for rigorously avoiding political remarks and rarely meddling in official business. Of everyone gathered here, she was the gentlest, most comfortable person in the room.
"Thinking of how that same Audit Department Chief's house will flourish fills even me with delight."
"You praise me too highly."
My hand trembled for a second. Hearing, to my face, the subtext of You've got so many lovers, you're bound to have plenty of children made my head spin.
The most comfortable person… was she? No—yes. Definitely yes. Compared to the Emperor and the Crown Prince, she was an absolute fairy.
"His Highness and I intend to share a love that will not lose to the Audit Department Chief's."
I couldn't manage a single reply to the smiling Crown Princess. A happy marriage between the Crown Prince and his wife was something to celebrate, sure—but why tell me?
Watching me flounder, she only smiled more deeply and raised her left hand.
…
?
What the hell.
The moment my eyes found her left hand—more precisely, her ring finger—I felt my pupils lurch.
"I had it made the moment I heard the rumor. Rings that become one—isn't that the most romantic thing?"
The voice was soft. The content was pure atrocity. Something that should not have existed was sitting proudly on the Crown Princess's ring finger: a half-ring.
Of course, the Crown Princess was close with the First Division Chief, and the Demon Duke had been wearing one around as well, so it wasn't strange that word of the Bar/ji had reached her ears. But copying it was another matter entirely.
With trembling eyes I glanced at the Crown Prince. He showed me his left hand with a perfectly bland expression. Naturally, a half-ring sat on his finger too.
Damn it.
I thought I was going to lose my mind. Had I poisoned the entire social season of the Empire?
Crushing the urge to bite my own tongue, I somehow finished the meal. From the middle onward I genuinely had no idea what I was eating.
"A great many ladies are already taking an interest. The young ladies, of course, need no mention."
"I—I see."
"I expect the fashion will be in full swing before the year is out."
With every lengthening sentence from the Crown Princess, my guilt grew like a weed. My casual little gesture had left a scar on imperial high society that would never wash clean.
Soon everyone, me included, would be walking around in half a ring. Who could refuse a trend led by the Crown Princess, a duke, and a duke's daughter?
"Count Flannel is already making preparations, I hear."
"I see."
When I poured that bitter feeling out to the Iron Blood Duke, an even bitterer answer came back.
One of my fathers-in-law had already moved fast. And he'd resolved to do it after seeing me wearing the ring, no less. Truly, my own karma.
"Congratulations. Few men your age have ever led a fashion in high society."
The Iron Blood Duke said it so flatly I couldn't open my mouth at all. I was too dizzy to tell whether he was sincere or mocking me.
If a minister had said it instead of the Iron Blood Duke, I would have assumed the latter without a second thought.
"Come along now. Everyone is waiting."
"Yes, Your Grace."
He gave my blankly standing back a light shove and strode ahead.
The family introductions that should have taken place today—five houses in attendance—had nearly collapsed under the Emperor's summons. Fortunately, while I was away, the Iron Blood Duke had taken the lead and seen them through. It was only a luncheon, not an all-day affair, and having the parents meet among themselves first wasn't a bad thing, apparently.
So the moment the imperial meal ended, the Iron Blood Duke, who had been standing by, snagged me. The back-to-back schedule was mentally exhausting, but at least I'd avoided the unfilial crime of no-showing the introductions. I would just have to endure.
"……"
"Your Grace, is there something you wish to say…?"
As we made our way toward the private parlor he had reserved, I felt a prickling gaze and carefully asked. Had something displeased him?
"I was thinking that both the co-father-in-law and his wife are people of proper bearing—so why did the son turn out like this."
I laughed awkwardly at the answer that came back. It was a question I had no real way to refute. What good was it if the body was the son, when the contents inside belonged to someone else entirely?
…Though, wait. Erich wasn't exactly the "proper and demure" type either, was he? Between lively and demure, he was clearly the former no matter how you looked at it.
Where did the personality go?
He'd inherited the black hair of House Crassius and Mother's blue eyes, so the blood ran thick enough—yet he hadn't taken after anyone in temperament at all. Had there been a delivery error somewhere along the genetic pipeline?
Still, if even Erich had been taciturn and quiet, the family would have been far too bleak. Better that there had been an error.
"And I believe I told you to call me Father-in-law in private."
As I was privately relieving myself of that thought, the Iron Blood Duke spoke gruffly.
Come to think of it, he had. The title just wouldn't sit right on my tongue, so I kept defaulting to "Your Grace."
"My apologies, Father-in-law."
"So long as you know."
The Iron Blood Duke snorted once and walked on without another word.
The meeting of the families had nearly run aground when Karl was summoned by His Majesty the Emperor. Fortunately, the Iron Blood Duke had taken the lead, and the gathering proceeded without delay.
As people gathered one by one in the private parlor he had prepared, a happiness filled his chest to the brim. It felt as though every joy he had never been allowed to taste until now was arriving all at once.
Karl's lovers.
The children who greeted him with soft smiles, or with nerves stretched tight… and one more lady among them. Bonds who would walk beside that boy who had always stood alone.
In-laws.
People who shook Billy's hand, who bowed face-to-face with him and made their acquaintance. Bonds who would become a new family for a boy who had never properly known a family's love.
He was happy. Too happy. Happy that such bonds had come into Karl's life, and that he could exchange greetings with those precious people himself.
Only—
There are so many.
Far too many. He had never imagined he would meet five daughters-in-law and four sets of in-laws in a single sitting.
And there was supposedly one more daughter-in-law still. She served in the Ministry of Special Affairs and had simply been unable to attend the New Year's Audience.
…So long as he's happy, that's enough.
The situation felt a little grotesque, but he shook the thought off at once.
Yes. If Karl was happy, that was all that mattered. If Karl wished it, he could smile and welcome however many there were.
Six or so should be fine.
Besides, the Golden Duke had met fully twice that number—twelve. Six was practically endearing, wasn't it?
Of course, he carefully chose not to recall that even the Golden Duke had taken those meetings one by one, and had never been linked to several at the same time.