Even So, the Days Pass - 3
After answering the Minister's summons, I had been spending a peaceful and uneventful end of the year. Truth be told, Dorgon's whereabouts still nagged at me, but heading north in the dead of winter was out of the question. Besides, it would have been strange for someone from the Ministry of Finance to go north in the first place.
At any rate, the Audit Department's year-end comprehensive report had been finished by the Deputy Chief, who had worked tirelessly as Acting Head, and I had even written the personnel evaluations as a hymn of praise to the Minister. Everything I needed to handle was done.
The only remaining concern was auditing whether the other departments had properly spent their annual budgets, but the Deputy Chief had already taken care of that while I was away.
Having one good subordinate makes life this easy.
I took a sip of tea and skimmed the documents the Deputy Chief had submitted. Without him, the Audit Department would have collapsed long ago. The best decision of my entire civil-service career had been promoting that mere team leader to Deputy Chief.
If I ever got promoted, I was definitely taking the Deputy Chief with me as the Minister's secretary. I had become a man who could no longer live without him.
As for how to fill the vacancies if both Head and Deputy became empty at the same time—
They'll figure it out.
Honestly, not my problem. A real man does not look back at the place he has left.
Besides, wasn't the Crown Prince famous for surprise personnel appointments that were essentially backstabs? I trusted he would handle it fine. If necessary, he could always promote the Third or Fifth Department Head.
...The Third Department Head as Chief.
For a moment I pictured that bald giant sitting in the Chief's seat. A look that would make anyone believe he ran a mafia rather than the Audit Department. An unbearable future.
On second thought, anything but the Third Department Head. Even now, walking around with him made me feel like a boss with his enforcer in tow. A Minister parading a mafia-style department head?
Anyone looking would think I was the shadow mastermind.
I let out a hollow laugh and unconsciously rubbed the corner of my eye. If I had narrow eyes, I would have been the perfect evil mastermind.
— Knock knock
While I was having these idle thoughts, a knock came at the door and I looked up.
"Chief. It's the Deputy."
"Deputy?"
"Yes, Chief."
The Deputy's voice from outside the door. It was such an unexpected visitor that I asked again even though he had already identified himself.
No, how long had it been since he submitted the documents and left for him to come back already? Did he have more papers to submit?
"Come in."
Of course it would have been strange to send away the Deputy who had come all this way, so I told him to enter. If he had returned, there had to be a reason.
As soon as permission was given, the Deputy carefully opened the door and stepped inside. Empty-handed for now. So no additional documents.
And his expression doesn't look bad either.
Seeing his calm face, it was not an emergency either.
That was a relief. Well, if something had suddenly blown up, my communication orb would have been flashing long before the Deputy arrived.
"So. What's up?"
Since it did not seem serious, I asked lightly. Better to hear it quickly and send him off. The Deputy was busier than I was, after all.
"You have a visitor, sir."
"A visitor?"
I tilted my head at the unexpected words. A year-end visitor?
Anyone important enough to seek me out would be the type to attend the New Year's Audience. It was rare for them to make early contact at year-end when there was an easier time to meet.
"Who is it?"
"The Fourth Department Head."
"Ah."
I nodded at that. Welcome news that filled the emptiness of a leisurely year-end.
Penelia coming of her own accord. So the Dark Light Squad's struggles had borne fruit.
I did not want to learn about the Fourth Department's unity this way. When one disappeared, another appeared, and when morning came, a different person from yesterday came to find me.
"Oh, Captain. You're up?"
The moment I left my room, the Second Team Leader greeted me as if he had been waiting.
"Good morning. Wow, the weather's nice too."
Even though a blizzard was raging, he was talking about good weather.
It was dizzying. Ever since the Vice-Captain submitted that so-called consensus, every single member I met acted like this. Simple greetings were natural among family—
"These days, cozy dates walking the streets while white snow falls are all the rage."
The problem was that they did not end with greetings and somehow continued in bizarre directions.
How on earth did a morning greeting lead to dating? Did they just force things without thinking about sentence connectivity, resulting in these terrible conversations?
"...What a peculiar trend."
"Haha, that's how trends are. We call them trends because they're not ordinary, right?"
I forced a nod at the Second Team Leader's beaming face.
It was not just him muddling my head. Everyone went crazy at the sight of me, so there was no point getting snippy with just the Second Team Leader.
"Right. How about you enjoy a trend too, Captain? There's a perfect partner available."
When I showed no particular reaction, the Second Team Leader clapped exaggeratedly and continued.
"......"
"Aww, no! After I went to the trouble of giving advice!"
Of course it was an obvious ploy, so I quickly walked on, ignoring him. I heard him yelling noisily behind me but did not react.
Too blatant. Until a few days ago they at least had some logic and grounds for persuasion, but now the moment our eyes met they just forced it.
"The weather's cold. Seeing someone in love would warm me up."
"The stew's salty. Looking at something sweet might give my tongue some vicarious satisfaction, don't you think?"
"I can't spend my salary these days so it's just piling up. If someone got married I could at least give a congratulatory gift."
"You're all just a bunch who can't date! I'm quitting the Dark Light Squad!"
I felt like I was going crazy. Where had the people gone who said you could not repay a favor with a favor, that repayment should be for the other person and not for self-satisfaction?
The ones who had choked me with irrefutable words had vanished, leaving only monsters who forced things. Monsters who would make others too embarrassed to lift their heads if seen.
I knew why they were like this. They were frustrated because I was still not moving and holding out. Since reason did not work, they were appealing to emotion—or madness.
...It's not like I want to be like this either.
A bitter feeling rose. What captain would hold out knowing why their subordinates were going mad? What person would know their family's wishes and pretend not to?
It was just that I was scared and could not move. Their merciless offensive had found the path in my head, but I could not bring myself to take a step and just dithered.
With what face can I do it now?
I had already kicked away the chance. When Master asked if I had something to say, when he gently embraced me. I should have said everything then.
Not the twisted worship I kept alone, but the proper repayment and loyalty I was thinking of now. That I wanted to spend my whole life with Master, not just protect him from afar but receive his gaze and touch.
But I had deceived myself. I had dared to draw a line between Master and me. I, who should follow Master's will, had turned my back—I who actually wanted to express affection like Erzebet.
So I had no right. No matter how much the members pushed my back, I could not go forward. A person with any shame could not dare.
...Or so I thought.
"Love has no use for shame or face."
"What do you mean?"
Until Erzebet made that bombshell declaration.
When Erzebet called under the pretext of a greeting, I thought it was fortunate. Someone who already had a connection with the Chief could give helpful advice, right?
So I carefully asked. What should I do, exactly?
"I really clung to the Chief crying and wailing. If I'd fretted over shame I couldn't have done that."
At Erzebet's somewhat enlightened expression as she spoke, I could not even open my mouth. That Erzebet crying and clinging? What on earth had happened while she was in the North?
"Penelia. Listen carefully. Shame is momentary, but love is eternal."
Even so, a firm conviction was visible in that enlightenment. An unyielding conviction she would not yield.
"So don't regret it and charge in. Will you be embarrassed for a moment, or live your whole life in regret?"
"But with what right do I—"
"No, so stop worrying about rights and whatever. Did you even hear me?"
When her voice rose in frustration, I quietly lowered my gaze.
"...Still, brief embarrassment is best."
Seeing me like that seemed to cool her anger, and she continued in a slightly softer voice.
And at Erzebet's following advice, my hands began to tremble.
"Then the embarrassment is brief, and the rest the Chief will take care of for you."
"E-Erzebet!"
My voice rose on its own. It seemed like it would definitely be effective, but still, wasn't that too much?
No, if it went wrong I might not even get the effect and just be recognized by Master as a weirdo. Just imagining it made me want to die.
"If you don't like it, do it all alone then."
But when she put it that way, I had nothing to say.
...Fine. Let's think positively. It was advice from Erzebet who had gone ahead of me.
Momentary shame... lifelong love... if I was embarrassed once, the rest Master would...
Okay. Let's do it.
I told the Deputy to send the Fourth Department Head to the Chief's office.
In my heart the Fourth Department Head was still a member of the Audit Department. Meeting in the reception room without warmth was less comfortable than seeing her in the Chief's office.
"Welcome, Penelia."
"Y-Yes, C-Chief. I greet you."
And I had called her here also so no one else would see the Fourth Department Head flustering.
Seeing she had come herself, she would not run away like last time, but she would not be able to suppress trembling like she was on vibrate mode. Even the Magic Lord had never achieved that feat.
"It's pretty cold out, right? Want some tea?"
"I'll gratefully accept..."
When I offered to the Fourth Department Head who had come in wearing a scarf, she nodded repeatedly.
A bit unexpected. The Fourth Department Head usually showed no reaction to heat or cold. I had not known she would wear something cute like a scarf for cold protection.
I let out a small laugh at the novel sight and headed for the shelf. Come to think of it, until recently she had tasted the otherworldly cold of the North. The aftereffects might still be lingering.
"Yuris has been pestering me about when you'd come."
I casually spoke with my back turned.
Clearly when the Fourth Department Head escaped my embrace she had used Yuris's name. But Yuris herself said she had never seen the Fourth Department Head, so how sad was that?
"I-I'm sorry. Something urgent... came up..."
"It did seem urgent."
When I said that, the Fourth Department Head who had been stammering closed her mouth tightly.
A pity. If I looked at her now I would see her fidgeting. Maybe I should just put the tea set on the table instead of the shelf going forward.
"Well, next time you se... e..."
As I gathered the tea set and turned around, this time my own mouth closed.
What is this?
I doubted my eyes. There was a delay in recognizing the scene before me.
At some point the Fourth Department Head had undone her scarf. But something was still around her neck. Something made of black leather. If I thought positively it was like a choker, that monster of an object.
But it was not a choker. Chokers do not have strings attached.
...A collar?
What the fuck is this? Is this a dream?
Or a protest that she'll never become lovers?
"M-Master."
In the midst of that, the Fourth Department Head held out the handle of the collar with hands trembling violently.
What.
What is this.
No, why are you giving that to me.
When I looked at her with confused eyes, the Fourth Department Head took a deep breath and slowly opened her mouth.
"I entrust everything of mine to Master."
Don't suddenly say something so serious.
Why at this timing.