Joyful Year-End - 7
I sent the Chef away and stepped right up behind Luise, yet she gave no reaction at all. I hadn't even bothered to quiet my footsteps; she simply kept kneading the dough. She wasn't usually this oblivious.
She wasn't even making the dough properly. She kept working the same spot over and over. That wasn't dough so much as a flour-based slime monster.
"Luise."
"Y-Yes!?"
When I tapped her shoulder she nearly jumped out of her skin and spun around. A little embarrassing. Clap loudly in front of a napping cat and you might get a reaction like that.
Sensing my awkwardness, Luise let out a startled yelp and offered an embarrassed smile. Her breathing was still a touch quick—she had been properly shocked.
"Ah, Brother. You're here?"
"Yeah. Just got back."
I glanced sidelong at the dough abomination. I might not have any real talent for baking, but two full semesters as advisor to the Baking Club had given me some experience.
"That one's unusable."
At the very least I could still tell usable ingredients from ruined ones.
"Ahaha... You're right. What a waste..."
Of course Luise already knew what I knew. She laughed awkwardly and stole a glance at my face.
I knew exactly what she wanted to say. Thankfully the Chef had given me a quiet heads-up earlier. Without it I would only have stood there wondering why she was acting so strange.
Today had to be a happy day for Luise. I had decided it would be.
"I can eat cookies just fine now."
No need to dance around it. I had no desire to leave things unsaid and pile up more misunderstandings. Margarethe had already shown me, through her tears, what poor communication could cost.
When I smiled with that thought, Luise's eyes widened as she watched my face. She clearly hadn't expected the person involved to be so direct.
"Can we talk for a bit?"
I slipped my right arm around her waist. Her face flushed scarlet in an instant, but I paid it no mind. Today had to be a happy day for Luise.
Just as we were about to leave the kitchen, the Chef in the corner gave me a big thumbs-up, as if cheering me on.
Honestly.
I almost laughed at the pure heart inside that rough exterior. A beast's body with a gentleman's soul, as always.
Naturally I returned the thumbs-up. A thumbs-up deserves a thumbs-up in return.
I considered the garden, then abandoned the idea because of the cold wind. The conversation might run long, and making a lady shiver outdoors would simply be cruel.
So we went to the drawing room instead. My memories of ever using the space were hazy, yet it had been diligently kept even in my absence—not a speck of dust in sight. Everyone does their jobs well.
"You should rest properly now that you're back. Aren't you tired?"
I seated Luise first and spoke. After days of hardship in Vulken she had gone straight to the kitchen. Whether that was diligence or pure love of baking, I couldn't say.
"Everyone treated me so kindly. I at least wanted to give them a gift."
Seeing her answer with a little hehe laugh, I closed my mouth. Who could scold someone for wanting to repay kindness? Even the butler had been delighted.
Besides, I had only spoken out of concern for how hard she was working; it wasn't something to blame her for, so I had even less to say.
"So, what were you making?"
Her body flinched at the question.
"Cookies... I was going to, but then just bread..."
Luise carefully opened her mouth while her gaze darted here and there. Looking into those anxious, trembling eyes, I could tell she was counting every cookie she had ever fed me.
There was no need for that. Luise had never forced a single one on me. I had volunteered for all of them.
But she didn't seem to see it that way; her eyes kept rolling this way and that. Leaving her alone any longer would have been disastrous. The Chef had truly saved a life.
"I like cookies. Have I ever eaten them against my will?"
I sat down beside her as I spoke, and she shook her head so vigorously that her swaying pink hair brushed my cheek.
Even so, her face remained a tangle of chaos, guilt, and gloom. The Chef claimed I never touched cookies; I claimed I liked them. One of us had to be lying.
For Luise, who never doubted people, the situation must have been truly complicated. Someone was deceiving her; she was being forced to suspect someone. Alone, she might have shed a few quiet tears.
"Actually, the Chef wasn't wrong. I really hadn't eaten cookies before."
Leaving her like that any longer felt like it might kill someone, so I quickly added the rest.
"It's not that I avoided them because I hated them. If I did, I wouldn't have eaten the ones our club president gave me, right?"
I gently stroked her hair, and her head gradually lowered.
Embarrassment? No. How many times had I already stroked her head for something this small to fluster her? She was simply adjusting her posture—deliberately lowering her head so it would be easier for me to pet her, so she could receive the touch more comfortably.
Capybara.
The name rose unbidden after a long absence. The highly sociable animal, the capybara. At the same time, a creature that thoroughly enjoyed receiving others' touch.
"I'm going to tell a slightly boring story."
Looking at her like that, I spoke again.
The first misunderstanding was cleared. The Chef had not deceived Luise, and I did not hate cookies. We could have left it there.
But the fact that I had never put a cookie to my mouth remained. That question needed answering for the matter to be truly finished.
"Will you listen?"
"Yes."
I smiled faintly at the unhesitating answer.
"Lift your head too."
"Ah, yes."
Unlike her clear reply, her head was still bowed. At the very least we should talk while looking into each other's eyes.
The Brother who had asked me to listen did not open his mouth for a long while.
Still, I did not urge him. If I waited, he would tell me. He was simply deciding where to begin.
"Four years ago... you know the Great Subjugation War, right?"
"Yes. I know."
I was a little startled by the unexpectedly weighty beginning, but I showed nothing. If I grew agitated, Brother—who had only just begun to speak—might close up again.
"I met my first love then."
This time I could not help reacting. A woman who showed no response upon hearing of her beloved man's first love would be a woman without feelings.
And the fact that he had met that first love in the middle of a war weighed on me. Brother's first love—yet one I had never seen.
Don't tell me.
A word flashed through my mind, but I forced it away.
"I was lacking, so she left first."
But Brother spoke the words himself. A faint smile rested on his lips, yet his eyes held a sadness he could not hide.
He continued speaking with that same smile.
His bureaucratic life beginning as a team member in the Audit Department, the sudden promotion to team leader, the sudden conscription into the war, and the hardships and bonds that began there.
"I really wonder where people like that all came from."
Especially when he spoke of the other team leaders recorded in the textbooks as the 6 Swords, his smile grew deeper still. As if that time had been the happiest. As if he were reminiscing over a period he could never return to.
"I wasn't normal either, dating in the middle of all that."
Of course, when he spoke of the one among those 6 Swords named Hecate, he went beyond smiling and broke into a wide grin.
Seeing that, I felt a pang of envy. Hecate must have been truly loved. Someone Brother had cherished so deeply. At the same time my heart ached. When he sent off someone he loved that much, what must he have felt?
Yet I said nothing. Pitying Brother while he spoke as if it were nothing would have been a great discourtesy to him.
"...Ah, I forgot to mention something important."
Brother, who had been happily lost in memory, changed the subject as if something had only just occurred to him.
"As I said earlier, until I came to the Academy after the war ended, I didn't eat cookies."
Hearing that, tension seized my body without my meaning it to.
If someone suddenly stops putting a certain thing in their mouth, it means something significant happened. And I—intentionally or not—had offered cookies to that very Brother.
"Desserts were still supplied during the war. You had to eat sweet things for morale, if nothing else."
If all you chew is hard bread, you don't get any energy, right?
I simply nodded at the addition. It wasn't a line that expected an answer either; he immediately moved on.
"There were cookies among them, though it was embarrassing to call them cookies. Just flour dough with sugar poured in and baked."
Instinctively I pictured the cookies he described. A lump with nothing but sugar added to the dough.
Could that... even be called a cookie?
"Still, it was sweet, so we had to eat it. Even that was scarce, so we had to ration them carefully."
Brother chuckled. Though his mouth seemed to complain, his expression looked happy.
"Hecate liked those. Knowing that, the others always yielded theirs to her, and she would share them with me again."
"...Precious cookies."
"Yeah. More precious than anything."
Now I understood. After hearing that much, I could not have failed to understand even if I tried.
To Brother, cookies were not simple snacks. They were food filled with memory, reflecting the love he had shared with his first love. And for the Brother who had sent that first love away, they were a cursed food he could not bring himself to touch.
Idiot.
I bit my lip hard. Heat pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I held it back.
I had made a terrible mistake toward Brother. Hiding behind the shield of ignorance, I had torn open his heart. From the moment I first met him until now—all the way through.
I could not cry in front of him like this. For the perpetrator to cry before the victim who ought to be the one crying—far too cowardly.
"I'm sorr—"
"Don't."
The apology that came far too late was blocked by Brother's finger and could not leave my lips.
His index finger pressed lightly against them. He still wore a smile.
"After that I simply didn't eat them because there was no one left to give them to. No other reason."
"B-But I still unnecessarily..."
"Rather, it was nice eating them after so long. Who else would look after me with cookies and such?"
At the sight of Brother laughing, the tears I had held back finally spilled over.
I shouldn't do this. I shouldn't run away by crying like a coward. I shouldn't gloss over something I need to apologize for like this...
"Thank you, Luise."
And hearing even this only made it worse...
But Brother took my hand and looked straight into my tear-wet eyes.
"I'm not just saying it. I'm really grateful."
I could not meet those eyes.
What right did I have? I had only sprinkled salt on his wound, and under the delusion that I was caring for him I had fed him cookies every single day. Even though that was no different from poison.
"The severed memories continued. I could cover the past and look at the present."
Yet the hand that carefully lifted my chin made our eyes meet again.
"You helped me—someone who might have been trapped in the past for life."
With a warm smile, Brother drew a small case from his breast.
"You might think it was coincidence or a mistake, but to me it was definitely a help."
Then his hand untied the pink ribbon binding the case.
"So now I should give a return gift."
My hands began to tremble. Seeing what he took from the case, I could not calm myself at all.
A ring. Definitely a ring. A strange shape split cleanly in half—yet all the more delightful for it.
Because that was the form of ring the princess wore. A beautiful ring in which the two halves, when worn together, became one.
"Will you accept it?"
Embarrassingly, I burst into open tears.
The tears were brief. Watching Luise happily wearing No. 3 filled me with automatic pride.
And I sensed that this was the perfect moment to say the words I had been holding back. Speak now and it would be flawless.
"Luise. Actually, there was something I wanted to say."
"Yes! Please speak!"
"...You don't have to put weird ingredients in the cookies anymore."
"Ah..."
Luise, who had been caressing the ring, hung her head a little dejectedly.
Sorry. Actually, I've started to taste a little bit of them for a while now. I think I finally understand why the club members couldn't eat them.
Sorry...