Joyful Year's End - 4
A strangely trembling voice drifted from beyond the door, but I deliberately paid it no mind.
Well, of course.
Ever since the Demon Duke fled after my masterstroke of calling her by her real name, I hadn't so much as contacted her, let alone met her. Naturally her panic would still be going strong. The person standing beyond that door right now was less the Demon Duke and more simply Beatrix.
Besides, there were far too many ways to rattle the Demon Duke for me to waste time pouncing on a mere stammer. And if I was going to shake her, it ought to be happily—needling her over something embarrassing simply wouldn't be right.
"You may enter."
Once the Demon Duke's permission came back, the secretary who had guided me all the way to the Tower Master's office stepped aside.
Honestly, it wasn't as if this was my first or second visit to the Tower Master's office, so a secretary wasn't strictly necessary. But the stares from the mages had been so piercing I hadn't dared say I would go alone.
If the Magic Tower kept a blacklist, my name was surely written at the very top. Reason: the bastard who made the Tower Master cry.
"Your Grace. I'm coming in."
I thanked the secretary and took hold of the doorknob.
Giving her fair warning to brace herself beforehand was just a little extra.
"W-w-welcome."
Unfortunately, the warning had done almost nothing.
Her voice was still trembling, her ears quivering faintly. Her face was oddly flushed—nothing like someone who had composed herself.
Still, it was a relief. At least the other mages weren't seeing her like this.
"I came to pay my respects before the year ended. Am I interrupting something busy?"
"Ah, I have plenty of time to see you, baby. You may come whenever you like."
I offered a light greeting, and the Demon Duke shook her head as she answered.
Wow.
I nearly burst out laughing at the sight.
Those vibrating ears of hers had already settled. The eyes that had been rolling every which way, unable to look at my face properly, were now stealing quick glances at me. It was as if she was too embarrassed to say what she wanted out loud and hoped I would notice first.
Feeling this way toward someone so much older than me was a little improper, but honestly? She was adorable. Especially once I realized why she was dithering like that.
"Thank you, Beatrix."
So I gave her exactly what she wanted.
"Hhk...!"
The effect was outstanding.
The Demon Duke's already-red face evolved into a tomato. That saying about something looking ready to burst if you so much as poked it—this had to be what it described.
On top of that, her ears started flapping at a BPM I had never seen before. Embarrassed, yes, but clearly also pleased.
"I'll have to come by without any reservations from now on. It really is fine to drop in anytime, right?"
As I spoke and started walking toward her, the Demon Duke nodded over and over.
"Y-yes. A-a-anytime..."
"Your words and actions are saying opposite things."
At that, the Demon Duke—who had been slowly edging backward—flinched and froze. Apparently her feet had moved without her even realizing it.
And with my observation, she fell into a dilemma: too embarrassed to keep retreating, too embarrassed to simply stand still.
Watching her, a mischievous urge welled up from deep in my chest. This was a duke I would normally have to bow and scrape before, not tease. The fact that I was one-sidedly playing with her like this even gave me courage I didn't usually have.
"Nowhere to run this time, is there?"
I smiled faintly and reached out a hand.
Yes—right now I had courage to spare. Right now I could do anything.
So I touched those ears that had gone stiff and upright, no longer able even to flutter. Honestly, I had wondered about this for a long time. What did an elf's ears feel like?
"……."
Surprisingly, the Demon Duke whose ear I had caught gave no reaction at all.
No—more precisely, she couldn't.
"Beatrix?"
I checked her condition and gently took my hand away from her ear.
That body which had been intermittently trembling went limp, strength draining out of it. Even her eyes lost their light and turned hazy.
...Ah.
She had died on her feet.
Fortunately the Demon Duke's mind returned quickly. It seemed less that she had fainted and more that the sheer shock had briefly blanked her head out white.
Still, once she came to and realized she had been teased, the Demon Duke opened her mouth in the most composed voice she could manage.
"Baby. I am a duke and the Tower Master. Even you, baby, should show the minimum of respec—"
"Did you hate it?"
"……."
Of course it had no effect. She hadn't blanked out because she hated it; she had blanked out because she was happy, so there was nothing she could say.
I let out a small laugh at the Demon Duke fallen silent, then spoke again.
"If Your Grace dislikes it, I'll speak as I used to."
"I-I never said I disliked it..."
"Then you'll just have to get used to it little by little."
At that the Demon Duke carefully nodded as well. She knew better than anyone that she would have to grow accustomed to this pattern.
But I could feel a dejected note in that nod. As if she was glad to be called by name and to receive the touch, yet lamenting that she could not fully enjoy that joy. If I had to put it into words, it was more like she was resenting her own pitiful defenses.
The Demon Duke's defenses truly were in critical condition. Worse, even, than Margeta's had been in the days when her defenses had been scraping the floor.
Is it all right to give it to her now?
The more I felt the case tucked against my chest, the deeper my hesitation grew. She was already like this from just her name—if I gave her the ring as well, wouldn't she actually faint?
Still, the hesitation was brief. If I kept putting it off with one excuse after another, the future in which I never gave it to her at all was all too easy to see.
"Beatrix."
Half-ring unit two, launching.
I had never felt an emotion like this before. Happy and yet sad; regretful and yet fulfilled.
Baby had always taken my firsts. Love was a first. An embrace was a first. Setting aside my pride was a first. Everything with baby had been a first. And as if that weren't enough, now he was making me feel even this.
And look at the state I'm in.
It was pitiful. Unlike baby, who kept giving me countless firsts, I couldn't even move properly.
Baby showed his feelings without hesitation. He called me by name and spoke casually without a scrap of reluctance. Of course I didn't dislike it. I liked it far too much. I was so happy I could have listened to nothing but my name all day long.
But I myself could do nothing. When baby called my name I was too embarrassed to open my mouth; when he approached I only stepped backward.
This won't do.
How could I call it love when I couldn't even communicate properly?
I, too, had to call baby with affection, and willingly accept his approaches. Love was something given and received on both sides, not one-sided, was it not?
So I had to try harder. First of all, shouldn't I start calling him by a different form of address, the way baby had done? Not "baby," but something like "my husband," or... h-husband-nim...
"We have plenty of time, so take it at your ease."
For a moment the memory of baby pretending not to hear me say "my husband" surfaced, but I forcibly pushed it to the back of my mind.
In any case, I had to grow used to expressions of affection. Only then would incidents like the one just now stop happening.
If I had held on...
An embarrassing, ticklish thought rose unbidden. If—if I hadn't lost my mind when baby caught my ear—wouldn't things have gone further?
An embrace, a hand stroking my hair, perhaps even a ki—
"Beatrix."
While I was lost in happy imaginings, baby's voice made my body flinch. For a second I wondered if he had read my thoughts.
"Actually, I didn't come just to say hello."
At those words I blinked.
Did that matter? Greeting or not, the important thing was that baby had come. Even if baby had come to borrow money from me, I was confident I could welcome him with a smile.
"It's about time I gave you an answer."
As he spoke and began taking something out, my body stiffened again.
...Time to give an answer?
My mind turned far more slowly than usual. What answer was he talking about? Surely not the one I was thinking of?
My heart began to hammer. Instinct shouted that it was exactly that, while reason shouted not to get my hopes up too high. Nothing was uglier than getting excited alone only to be disappointed.
But when what baby took out was a small case; when the white ribbon binding that case came undone; when he drew a single ring from inside it—my anxiety vanished, and an inexpressible happiness settled in my chest.
"Compared to everything I've received, it's a modest thing, but this is about all I can give you."
I hurriedly shook my head at baby, who was smiling as if sheepish. Even if the words came from him, I could not agree with that much.
Modest? What was modest were the things I had given baby. The ring baby meant to give me was more precious and beautiful than anything else in this world.
"Um, baby..."
And the moment I saw the ring, something I had been trying not to think about surfaced.
"Is that one... also a ring that becomes one when the two halves join?"
I asked carefully, looking at the ring on baby's finger. I had thought it far too good for me and never dared to covet it, but the truth was I had wanted it so badly I could go mad.
I had known for some time that baby had given Lady Margeta a unique ring. I had heard of it through a mage dispatched to the Academy, and I had been able to confirm it with my own eyes looking at baby's finger.
Not an ordinary couple ring, but a single ring divided into two to be shared—a distinctive and beautiful ring. How could I not have longed for one?
"...Of course it is."
Baby closed his mouth for a moment at my question. But not long after he smiled, then scraped a fingernail across the ring he was holding.
And the ring split perfectly in half. Looking at those two pieces, I felt tears about to spill.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to give you an answer. I fretted a great deal over what words would please you most."
Baby took my left hand and slipped onto it the ring that held half the world.
"One action would have been better than a hundred words. I was too late, wasn't I?"
"No."
I shook my head again at baby's words.
Then I looked at the ring on my hand, turned my gaze to baby, and looked back at the ring. How heavy this small thing felt.
"...It wasn't late."
And so I answered with a smile.
If I had heard the answer in this life of mine, then it was not late.
Watching the Demon Duke rejoice with the second half-ring on her finger, I lowered my gaze with a bitter smile.
And there, alone in the case, a single remaining ring caught my eye.
I'm sorry.
Apologizing to an inanimate object was ridiculous, but this was something that deserved an apology. I was truly sorry.
A thing that should have been slipped onto someone's finger and become someone's happiness. That thing would now sleep forever without ever seeing the light of day.
No—who could have guessed the Demon Duke would want a half-ring too?
Of all things, I had to fasten the first button wrong.
It was melancholy, but there was nothing for it. I couldn't very well give the impression of discriminating with rings when we weren't even married yet.
And I instinctively knew. The moment the second half-ring was born, there would be no stopping the birth of a third, a fourth, a fifth. From now on I was fated to keep splitting rings.
With a complicated heart I closed my eyes, then opened them again. That lonely-looking ring filled my vision once more.
...There'll be a use for it someday, I'm sure.
Or was that just my imagination?
It almost sounded as if the ring was cursing me out, calling me a fucking bastard.