Hide, Audit Department Chief - 5
Time raced by, and my lifespan burned away just as quickly.
This is hell.
I finally understood it today. Hell is not only being steamed by lava deep underground. This world holds many different kinds of hell.
The one I was trapped in was probably the most beautiful hell of all—the sort that quietly dries a sinner out until nothing remains.
Am I even a sinner?
A sudden surge of injustice rose in me. If I had actually done something wrong, I could at least accept it with humility. Instead I had been dropped into this situation without the faintest idea why.
Yes—I had no idea. Why Margeta and the Demon Duke were locked in a contest of wills, and why I was stuck right in the middle of it.
At least things have gone quiet for now.
Unlike earlier, the silence was absolute. Seizing the chance, I rolled my eyes as carefully as I could. Moving my head even a fraction felt like it might shatter the ceasefire.
The moment my gaze landed on the Demon Duke, I knew at once that I had made a terrible mistake.
"My child, what is it? Do you need something?"
The instant our eyes met, the Demon Duke smiled softly and spoke.
"Karl. If you need anything, tell me. We're partners, after all."
Margeta reacted the second the Demon Duke finished. Was it my imagination, or did the word partner come out with extra force?
Damn it.
I shut my eyes in pure despair. I had been careful not to provoke them, yet that very caution had restarted the war.
"Since my child deliberately looked at me, it seems I am the one who is needed."
No. It was pure coincidence.
"Not at all. I couldn't possibly trouble Your Grace. I should be the one to handle it. I am his partner, after all."
Since when had "partner" become a synonym for errand boy?
I needed nothing. I wanted nothing. I had simply been looking for a chance to escape and happened to lock eyes with her.
But the words only circled the tip of my tongue before I swallowed them whole. Once again I was instantly relegated to the background, and the fierce standoff between the two ducal houses began in earnest.
I hate the class system.
I wept inwardly. If I had been a duke's son instead of a mere count's, I might have stood a little taller.
Whoever had reincarnated me here was stingy beyond belief. If you were going to drop me into the nobility, there were dukes and marquises available. You could have been a little more generous.
Wait—generous with grace, or with faith?
Ha. Hilarious.
Damn it all.
I sobbed in my heart…
Oh, they've started again.
"Your Highness."
The second round, with the title of Audit Department Chief as the trophy, had just begun, but the voice calling me forced me to abandon the show.
No matter how delightful the spectacle, I could never ignore the Princess.
"Princess. What about your father-in-law? Why have you come already?"
"I was pained at the thought of Your Highness being alone, so I came."
Her soft laughter made a smile rise to my own lips without effort. Truly, no spectacle, however amusing, could compare to the joy of seeing her.
"But Your Highness—what has you looking so entertained?"
Still smiling faintly, the Princess tilted her head and stepped closer.
It was certainly strange. The Crown Prince, of all people, was not among the other nobles but standing alone on the second floor, looking down.
"There is a rather unique scene, my dear."
I rested a hand on her shoulder and guided her toward the railing. This was the best vantage point.
"The Demon Duke and… Lady Margeta."
Following my lead, the Princess took in the one-of-a-kind sight and spoke calmly.
Dear me. She had missed the most important part.
"The Audit Department Chief is there as well."
"Oh my."
Only then did the Princess spot the Audit Department Chief. Her eyes widened and a soft exclamation escaped her.
"I hadn't noticed him at all."
She murmured as if astonished even by herself. The reaction was so understandable that I allowed myself a small smile.
The Audit Department Chief was a man who stood out even from a distance. Black hair, always dressed in black—he was unmistakable even when he tried to blend into a crowd.
Yet now he was wedged between the two women, his presence almost completely erased. The fact that he stood rigid and unmoving only made it worse.
"What an unusual combination."
"Indeed. One you would never see anywhere else."
The words slipped out and a laugh escaped me unbidden.
Where else could one witness such a sight? The Demon Duke who never left the Magic Tower, a young lady still studying at the Academy, and the Audit Department Chief who by rights should have been buried in his office.
Under any normal circumstances these three could never have gathered, yet miraculously they had come together—for a banquet held in the Princess's honor.
A gift from the gods.
That was the only way to see it. Enen's present to an overworked man, or perhaps the blessing of Great Emperor Eimanka.
Of course, whatever resulted from the union of those three would be no light matter. But what of it? Future problems belonged to my future self.
And it won't happen right away in any case.
From the way things were unfolding, this was a love rivalry that had only just begun. Even among nobles who never casually discussed a duke's private life, if two ducal houses clashed over one man, rumors would inevitably spread.
And yet I had only just learned of it myself? That meant it had never been shown in public before—that it had erupted for the first time right here.
In that case, even at the earliest, years would pass before any marriage took place. More than enough time to prepare countermeasures.
"Your Highness?"
My sudden laughter made the Princess glance at me curiously.
Ah. I had been enjoying myself too much while she stood right beside me.
"Forgive me. Still—is it not an amusing scene?"
"Well… it is unique, but…"
The Princess trailed off and looked back toward the Audit Department Chief. She tilted her head to the right, then to the left.
The adorable gesture almost made me laugh again, but I held it in. When she was serious, laughing at her only made her pout.
"The reason those three have gathered is the interesting part."
I could practically feel her turning the puzzle over in her mind.
Arriving at the answer would be difficult, yet if anyone could manage it, it was the Princess. After all, it was her own words that had first made me notice.
"Ah."
Just as expected, she found the answer herself.
"Well? Is it not entertaining?"
Satisfaction rising, I drew her into my arms from behind as I spoke.
Until now the pleasure had been mixed with frustration. The joy of watching a century-defining love battle, tempered by the inability to speak of it freely.
But now I could share the delight with her. How could I not be—
"Hnnngh."
"…Princess?"
Her soft nasal sound froze me solid.
Why?
That was the sound she made when her mood soured.
Her hand came to rest atop the arms that held her. The gentle caress felt, in this moment, terrifying.
"Your Highness."
"Speak, Princess."
"Are you enjoying yourself?"
My mind went blank.
Given the rank of the banquet, dinner was served as a rather lavish buffet.
"Karl. Try this as well."
"Thank you…"
"My child. This is good for your health."
"Thank you…"
Yet I could not tell whether I was eating with my mouth, my nose, or my eyes. I was fairly certain nothing had actually gone into my mouth.
Margeta on my left, the Demon Duke on my right—an impregnable formation. They kindly filled my plate for me. And even while eating they continued their rivalry, providing constant thrills.
Whenever the urge to choke rose in me, a water glass appeared before my eyes as if by magic. Two of them, of course.
I'm going to die.
Never before had I prayed so fervently for a banquet to end quickly. Honestly, the desire to simply flee midway had flickered more than once.
But a noble bolting from the Crown Princess's birthday banquet? The aftermath would be terrifying. And it would make things awkward with the Duke of Victory as well.
The moment I get home, I'm going straight to bed.
Thankfully tomorrow was still a day off. If I had been forced to go to work in this mental state, I might have lost my mind.
Yes. Exhausted as I was, I only needed to endure a little longer. Not much of the schedule remained.
Enen, it seemed, was a virulent xenophobe.
Oh, for the love of—
I could hear it all. Soft music swelling through the hall. The murmur of conversation that even music could not drown out.
I had let my guard down, thinking the remaining schedule was trivial. I never imagined that tiny fragment of an agenda would return as a dagger.
What is this?
I stared blankly at the hand extended before me.
With stiff, mechanical movements I forced my neck to lift my gaze little by little—past the white hand, along the slender arm, toward the face.
There stood the smiling Demon Duke, and Margeta, who glared at her yet still looked at me with desperate eyes.
"My child. Will you keep a lady waiting?"
When I only stood there gaping, the Demon Duke spoke.
"Karl…"
Margeta did not say much. She simply called my name in a trembling voice.
This was hell. What I had endured earlier was not hell at all—mere purgatory. This was the real thing.
Fuck.
I had walked straight into a trap. At the final event of the night, my ankle had been seized completely.
The dance that closed the banquet—the final program meant to celebrate harmony and friendship among host and guests.
I had naturally planned to dance with Margeta. She was my partner; there was no one else I would dance with.
"My child. If you do not mind, will you dance with me?"
Amazingly, there was someone else. Someone I had never even considered.
At the Demon Duke's sudden invitation, silence fell over the entire hall. Nobles who had been about to dance with their spouses, those seeking partners of similar age, even those who only meant to watch—every mouth closed and every eye turned toward us.
…I deliberately ignored the Iron Blood Duke's murderous glare.
"K-Karl! Why don't you—why don't you dance with me?"
Margeta, who had been momentarily stunned, rushed forward, but the fact that the Demon Duke had asked first remained unchanged.
Regrettably, choosing Margeta was difficult. The Demon Duke had spoken first, her rank was higher, and she was the elder. Firmly refusing such a person was no easy feat.
Choosing the Demon Duke was equally impossible. Even if she had moved first, Margeta was still my partner. And dancing with another woman right in front of my future wife would be… extremely strange.
If we had already been formally engaged, I could have used that as grounds for refusal. But Margeta and I still had no official relationship whatsoever. It was too weak a pretext.
…Should I just bite my tongue off?
No—biting it would hurt like hell and still not kill me.
Should I cut my hand off?
That idea had merit. If I could not take a lady's hand, then neither of them would be chosen—a beautiful, decisive ending.
Not bad. If I just gave up one hand for a little while—
"Fortunately, it has not yet begun."
At that moment the Crown Prince's voice rang out across the hall.
He had vanished somewhere earlier, and now his voice pulled every scrap of attention that had been fixed on me straight onto himself.
Where the hell did he go?
The situation was such a disaster that even the smallest things grated. That bastard—the Crown Prince of the Empire—was off wandering strange places.
Yet regardless of my irritation, the Crown Prince looked thoroughly satisfied once every gaze had settled on him. He nodded once.
"This banquet is for the Princess. I am grateful to all of you who have brightened the occasion, but I would like the Princess to close the final dance."
With those words he took the Crown Princess's hand and walked toward the center of the floor.
"We shall have the honor of the last dance."
…What?
For a second I doubted my ears.
"So everyone else, please save yourselves for the next opportunity. The New Year's Audience is nearly upon us, is it not?"
Having said that, the Crown Prince glanced at me for the briefest instant before looking away again.
It lasted only a fraction of a second, yet I understood perfectly.
Your Highness…
That man was my savior.
While they danced under every eye in the hall, the Princess whispered softly.
"Well done, Your Highness."
"I am glad you are satisfied, Princess."
"Hehe. Your Highness has always known how to satisfy me."
Watching her gentle smile, I smiled back.
I was saved.