A Hawk Unfurls Its Wings - 2
When sudden silence drops over a noisy place, it always sends a chill down your spine. It feels as though you've been flung into an entirely different space. Even when the silence has nothing to do with you, that feeling creeps in.
And if it isn't about you, what must it feel like when you are the cause? I hadn't especially wanted to find out — but today, it seemed, I would.
"Young Lady Luise."
"Ah, Senior?"
The moment the Lady appeared, the classroom fell silent in an instant. Wow. So a classroom could actually get this quiet. How strange.
Like a hawk crashing into a flock of sparrows, a single presence crushed the entire room under its weight. Honestly, for someone of the Lady's standing, even a hawk felt a little insufficient.
What could she want?
And I still couldn't understand why someone who transcended even a hawk would go out of her way to come all the way to our classroom looking for me. We had grown fairly close over the break, but this wasn't club time — there was no reason for her to come now.
As the Student Council Vice President, she rarely moved unless something was truly important. So what on earth—
Ah.
The moment I realized what could make the Lady set everything else aside and walk into a first-year classroom, cold sweat trickled down my back. There it was. There was a reason she would come all the way here.
If it concerned my older brother, neither Student Council duties nor the gap in our school years could ever stand as an obstacle to her. And if someone had appeared who was eyeing a place at his side — all the more so.
She found out...?
I clenched my jaw and held myself still. Until the Lady became my older brother's official fiancée, I had meant to keep my feelings carefully hidden. If I rushed and she suspected I was aiming for first place, I would only earn her fury and her hatred.
But somehow, it seemed she had discovered how I felt about him. I had no idea how she could have known — yet if this wasn't about my older brother, her presence here simply didn't make sense.
No — maybe not. There could be some other reason I simply hadn't thought of yet.
"There's something I'd like to ask you for a moment. Could you spare the time?"
"Y-Yes... of course."
"Thank you."
The look in the Lady's eyes made the words tangle in my throat on their own.
Other reason? No. What I had feared was almost certainly right. She wore a gentle smile, but her eyes glittered with a keen, sharp light.
Honestly, she was terrifying. It was enough to remind me of the first time I ever saw her. No — the pressure now was incomparable to then.
"This isn't a conversation for others to overhear, so let's step outside for a moment."
She turned her back with those words, and I carefully followed after her.
Thank goodness.
Irina and Erich had both stepped out on their own business. At least I wouldn't be worrying them. That was something...
And a faint hope stirred as well. If the Lady had been truly furious, she would have branded me a thieving cat in front of everyone. But she had chosen a quiet conversation over public condemnation — so she couldn't be in a rage. Not yet.
Then it's all right.
I tried hard to soothe myself. If she wasn't angry, I would be fine. I wasn't after her place. How could I ever dare? I would be more than satisfied with second. She would understand that.
...Would she?
A problem I had carefully avoided thinking about rose to the surface. What if the Lady refused to tolerate any other wives at all? What if she wanted not first place, but the only place?
Behind that fragile hope, a vast terror came crashing in. No — then I would never even get to confess to my older brother. I would be cut off at the Lady's hand before I ever began.
I felt the corner of my mouth tremble, but there was nothing I could do. If she wanted him alone, what was I supposed to do about it? Did I have any right to demand a concession from the woman who loved him more than anyone, who had loved him longer than I had?
O Enen...
I'll go to church diligently from now on. Whenever Tanian says he's going, I'll go with him without fail.
So please — please let the Lady allow other wives as well.
While I poured out an entire year's worth of prayer in a single breath, the Lady's steps came to a halt. A secluded spot where no eyes could reach us.
"This should do."
The words sounded for all the world like, This is your funeral pyre.
"Young Lady Luise."
"Yes, Senior."
"I dislike people who covet what is mine."
The Lady smiled as she said it, and my mind went pure white.
What did she mean by "mine"? First place? Or my older brother himself? If it was the former, there was still hope. If the latter — it was over. After a warning this direct, if I continued to ruffle her feathers, I had no idea what kind of retribution would come flying at me.
"My firsts have always belonged to Karl."
Still smiling, the Lady took a step toward me.
"The first talk of marriage I ever had was with Karl."
Another step.
"The first person I ever loved was Karl."
A final step. Before I knew it, the distance between us was close enough to touch if either of us reached out.
"And the first person to give me a gift this precious was Karl as well."
She gazed at the red fan she always carried with eyes full of affection.
So that fan had been a gift from my older brother. I hadn't known.
"Karl took so many of my firsts. So it's only right that I take his first as well — that I take first place."
As she spoke those words, the warmth of affection vanished from her eyes, replaced by some unidentifiable emotion that burned hot and fierce.
Terrifying. The impulse to run away right then and there lifted its head. But at the same time, a hope that had been fading lifted its head alongside it.
She said "first."
That made it clear. The line the Lady would never yield was first place — not my older brother himself. So as long as I didn't cross that line, I would be fine.
Then what I needed to say was already decided.
"I think so too."
I nodded quickly and spoke in the brightest voice I could manage.
"Giving each other your firsts... I think that's truly beautiful!"
The corners of the Lady's eyes softened just a little.
There. I was alive.
"Giving each other your firsts... I think that's truly beautiful!"
Hmm.
"If he took that many of yours, then of course my older brother should give you his as well!"
Hmmmm.
"In the first place, is there anyone who could possibly suit my older brother besides someone of your caliber, Senior?"
Hmmmmmm.
"The two of you look wonderful together."
Mm.
Passed.
How could she say nothing but such pretty, perfectly correct things?
I was thoroughly pleased. Young Lady Luise really was a fine junior. So wise, and so kindhearted. And her judgment was excellent, which only made her better.
Of course, the most satisfying part was—
Her greed isn't excessive.
That she knew how to keep the line.
Having desire itself was something I could overlook. Wanting to become Karl's wife was, in a sense, greed — but that much was an adorable sort of greed. If you spent any real time near Karl and never felt that way, that would be the stranger thing.
A cute, modest little greed that never overstepped its bounds. I could smile and accept that easily enough. As Karl's first wife, the one who would have to look after the servants of House Crassius and the people of Tailglehen — would I truly lack that much generosity?
Of course not. To a dear junior who never tried to take my place, I could always extend my grace.
Good.
Once I settled my heart, I found myself thinking that Young Lady Luise would do rather nicely.
She was sincere enough about Karl to clean up the area around him even while bracing herself for the grudges of princes and royal heirs. Her greed wasn't excessive. And the moment she grasped the situation, her response had been decisive.
Yes. Even thinking it over again — she passed. She was someone who could be allowed near Karl.
"Young Lady Luise. I told you I dislike people who covet what is mine, didn't I?"
"Ah, yes."
"But people I respect — those, I like very much."
At that, Young Lady Luise's face brightened. She would understand perfectly well what I meant.
"I'll be rooting for you. Do your best."
"S-Senior..."
Seeing her look so moved filled me with a quiet pride.
I, too, had once been the one who could only stamp my feet, praying my feelings would reach Karl. Looking at a junior walking the same path, I simply couldn't turn away.
Of course, what truly mattered was Karl's heart. If Karl said he didn't want Young Lady Luise, there would be nothing for it.
The Lady left with a gentle expression. Where she had arrived like a hawk among the classroom, the figure she cut as she departed was that of an elegant swan.
I lost count of how many times I bowed toward the Lady as she glided away like a swan.
She said she'd be rooting for me.
I had imagined the worst. That she might mistake me for aiming at first place and fly into a rage — or that she might refuse to tolerate the existence of any other wife at all.
But instead of the worst, the very best had arrived. Beyond mere tacit acceptance or tolerance — the word that had come out of her mouth was support.
And more than that—
"Do your best."
She had told me to try hard. She had given me permission to do something.
Does that mean I'm allowed to move now?
My heart pounded. I barely managed to keep the corners of my mouth from twitching upward.
Originally, I had planned to hold my breath until my older brother and the Lady were formally engaged. I couldn't risk being misunderstood by her.
But after today, there was no longer any danger of that misunderstanding — and I had even been told to do my best. Meaning there was no need to stay still.
Then I can...
I can show my older brother how I feel? I can draw close to him?
The Lady had allowed it. She had said it was fine as long as I wasn't aiming for first place.
"Ahaha."
A laugh slipped out before I could stop it, and I startled myself.
I quietly covered my mouth with my hand. No one was nearby, but this was still the Academy. I couldn't go around making embarrassing little laughs.
"Hahuh..."
Strange. I was clearly covering my mouth, and yet it wouldn't stop.
No — no, it wasn't strange at all. How could I possibly not laugh?
Thank you, Lady.
Thank you for giving me a chance.
Thank you, Irina.
Thank you for letting me know a chance even existed.
Wait for me, Older Brother.
For the first time, I found myself looking forward to club time the way I did today.
I had briefly forgotten that I was a fool, and a coward.
"Luise, is something wrong?"
"Ah, no. Nothing happened at all."
I brushed off my older brother's words with an awkward smile.
What was this? After all that trouble getting the Lady's permission — what was I even doing? I couldn't get a single word out.
How do I say it...?
I was embarrassed. I wanted to speak, but I was too embarrassed.
Why was I like this? The chance was right here — why couldn't I say anything?
When I had been holding it in, I thought I would be able to speak anytime. I had been so sure I could confess on the spot.
You idiot.
They spoon-feed it to you, and you still can't eat.