Unwanted Gathering of the Main Cast - 4
Making cookies took longer than I expected. I had figured it would just be a matter of roughly mixing the dough, shaping it, and sticking it in the oven, but apparently there was more to it than that. Waiting around seemed to take up most of the time.
"All done!"
So while I was staring blankly into space, they were suddenly finished. At the long-awaited news of completion, Erich and Ainter sidled over.
Those two just stood there watching the whole time while the club president did all the work, even though they were supposedly members. No matter how much their real reason for joining had nothing to do with baking, that was a little too blatant. Fortunately for them, Luise seemed to simply enjoy the act of baking itself and showed no irritation at her freeloading members.
Useless idiot.
Looking at Erich, who had reduced himself to Freeloader Number One, I couldn't help thinking it. He was already stuck handling the weakest position in this mess; he needed every scrap of contact he could get if he wanted any chance at all. Even just pretending to help out beside a girl who was crazy about baking would have given him the advantage of a shared hobby. And yet he didn't even do that.
It was astonishing. I had only seen Luise a handful of times and I already understood this much, but the guy who actually liked her was acting like that. Ainter was exactly the same. Did falling in love make your intelligence regress? If both of them were in a state of intellectual decay, I should at least quietly tip Erich off. You moron, this is the kind of thing you have to do if you want any competitive edge.
"Here, everyone try some."
At Luise's expectant words, I shifted my gaze from Erich to the cookies. We had gone to the trouble of making them, so I might as well eat.
When I reached for one, Luise picked one up first and held it out to me. Age before beauty, was it? In this bizarre romance-fantasy world where everything was mixed together, seeing Eastern etiquette like that was genuinely touching. Behind the smiling Luise, I could see the other two shooting me searing looks. Don't try to drag me into your competition. And if you're going to get jealous, at least do the work first, you freeloaders.
"Thanks."
I took the cookie Luise offered and bit into it. In works like this, the heroine's cooking was usually either heavenly or hellish, but thankfully it was just plain good.
"Ah."
"Mm..."
But the reactions of the two who ate after me were anything but ordinary. The moment they chewed, they let out little groans and started watching Luise's expression. What was wrong with them?
"It's good. You could sell these."
Weird reactions or not, I ignored them and delivered my taste evaluation. She had made the whole thing herself with careful little motions; the least I could do was give her that much. It really was tasty, so I didn't even feel guilty about it. Delighted by the words, Luise beamed and turned to look at the two behind her. They flinched and hastily managed their faces.
"Yeah, I like it too. You did great."
"It is delicious, Lady Luise."
But their eyes, unlike their mouths, were honest. The trembling would have been obvious even to Luise if she hadn't been so happy about the praise. It tasted fine, so why were those two reacting like that? Were their palates just too refined, or was mine as crude as a dog's? I took another bite. Still good.
At the very least, the problem wasn't my taste buds. Unless the cookies were some kind of Russian roulette of hits and misses. But come on—even if someone ordered her to do that on purpose, she couldn't pull it off.
A couple of overfed brats.
And that was how the first club meeting ended.
I never imagined that yesterday's cookies would turn out to be travel money for my sanity on its way to the underworld.
"Oh, good day to you. I've come to apply for club membership."
At the cheerful voice, I wordlessly looked at its owner. Somehow he had known I was holed up in the club room and had come looking for me to inquire about joining—the third prince of the Armein Kingdom, Ryutis Lovens. He had deliberately shown up first thing in the morning and shattered the quiet of the Baking Club room I had been using as my private hideout.
"I run the Baking Club."
"Then I've come to the right place!"
The guy who looked like he could casually topple a building pillar with a punch answered with a laugh to the question I had thrown out just in case. Fine, I get it. You really are Sacrifice Number Three. I had already heard that this was Club Selection Week, so I had expected the foreign trio to start gathering soon. With the resigned feeling of something that was bound to happen finally arriving, I accepted Ryutis's membership application.
"I was told that applications for the Baking Club go through you."
About two hours after a satisfied Ryutis left, Later Ostia, second prince of the Uven Alliance, came looking for me.
"……."
Did these bastards coordinate this?
Two of them showing up in a line on the same day. What was the two-hour gap for? A tip so I could prepare myself emotionally? What strangely considerate bastards. In any case, unlike Ryutis he had a lean build; this was definitely Later. I nodded at the cold-eyed Later and welcomed Sacrifice Number Four, the one already under the spell of the capybara.
"A pleasure to meet you, Brother. I heard you serve as advisor to the Baking Club, so I came to find you."
Another two hours or so later, Number Five arrived. The uneasy thought I had when I saw Later had become reality. I still couldn't understand why every optimistic prediction of mine turned out wrong while every ominous one hit the mark.
"Here for club membership?"
"Yes, that's correct."
"Name?"
"Tanian Enes of the Holy Kingdom."
I know. I only asked out of courtesy.
I quietly scribbled Tanian's name at the very bottom of the membership roster. The club's numbers had doubled in a single day. Luise would be thrilled when she found out…
After confirming that the faintly smiling Tanian had left the club room, I sank into the chair and stared at the membership list. On only the second day of the club's existence, the entire six-person watchlist had assembled. An impressive achievement. Now I had to monitor all six of them by myself. A nightmarish future.
Strange. In some games, collecting five pieces meant you won. I had gathered six—an overachievement. So why did that mean I had to suffer even more?
Feeling helpless, I looked up at the ceiling and dragged both hands down my face. I had let my guard down because there was still some time left in the week, and then I had been hit with a miraculous three-in-a-row combo that felt like a lie. It really did feel like a lie.
She charmed all three of them in a single day?
How? Was that even physically possible? Was this that "plot convenience" thing people talked about? I had spent my whole life attracting only lunatics and zero romantic partners, so why did she…
The resentment that had nearly gone toward Luise abruptly changed direction and aimed itself at the three kingdoms' embassies. Thinking about it, those bastards were the real problem. If one of their key figures looked like they were about to fall for a noble lady from another country, they should have cut it off themselves. What were they even doing?
But it was already too late. The three kingdoms had failed to stop their key personnel's eccentricities, and I had no choice but to go along with the original plot. In a few hours the whole six of them would come pouring into the club room.
I quietly closed my eyes. Hoping that when I opened them again, I would open them in the Audit Department. The absurdity of fleeing one den of demons only to end up in another.
"As you can see, we have three new members. Get along with each other. Don't fight."
Please.
When I spoke to the six members who had all gathered for club time with the weary heart of someone addressing kindergarteners, Ryutis burst out laughing, whether he understood my feelings or not. This bastard… laughing…?
"You worry far too much! Everyone here can take care of themselves, so put your mind at ease!"
I just nodded once at Ryutis, who was spouting the most worrying words possible, and looked away. I could trust a royal's self-control, but the moment the original plot got tangled up in it, that reliability plummeted. My heart pounded wondering when the original story's punch was going to slam me right in the solar plexus.
"We meet again. So you were in this club as well."
While I was involuntarily stuck holding Ryutis's attention, Later approached Luise and greeted her. He had clearly known she was here when he walked in and was still pretending otherwise. Pathetic, Your Highness.
"Hello! Um, you're Lord Later… right?"
"You may call me Later freely."
Later's cold expression melted by the slightest degree.
Fuck.
I had no hobby of staring at that kind of expression on a man's face, so I looked away—only for the faces of the other guys to enter my field of vision instead. With more people around, no matter where I looked at least one of them was in sight. Horrifying. Maybe I should just walk around with my eyes closed.
Anyway, because Later had made the first move, the other members also gradually drifted toward Luise. The existing members who had been wary of the newcomers and the new members who hadn't expected anyone else to join on the same day all engaged in a silent staring contest before becoming of one mind.
This somehow looks familiar.
The sight of Luise surrounded by five men looked exactly like a politician campaigning in a marketplace. The only difference was whether it was voluntary or forced. I offered a silent prayer of condolence to Luise, who was flustered at being suddenly hemmed in. Sometimes I resented her as the root cause of my suffering, but when I remembered she had no malice, I also felt sorry for her.
While I was thinking that, someone flickered past the hallway window. It was the vice principal.
When our eyes met, he bowed in greeting and then showed me the letter he was holding. What? Was there someone who would send me a letter? The six of them still seemed busy exchanging greetings, so I quietly slipped out into the hallway and approached the vice principal.
"What brings you all the way here?"
The vice principal, who was evolving into my personal messenger thanks to the crime of having no classes of his own, handed me the letter he had shown earlier. Then he quietly added one more line.
"It's correspondence from the three kingdoms."
That one sentence was enough. The embassies of the three kingdoms stationed at the Academy had clearly noticed the anomaly of having their key personnel snatched right under their noses. After thanking the vice principal for delivering it, I checked the contents. Stripping away the greetings, the flowery language, and all the other minor flourishes left the actual business reducible to a single sentence.
We would like to meet with the Auditor at the earliest opportunity.
Auditor, not advisor.
The nuance suggested they suspected this anomaly wasn't simply something that had occurred at the Academy, but something the Empire had deliberately engineered. It was easy to imagine just how flustered the three kingdoms must have been.
I glanced through the window at the six people in the club room. The Empire had gathered that on purpose…? I would have to meet them just to clear up the misunderstanding if nothing else. Because the six of them had assembled earlier than planned, the probing skirmish with the three kingdoms had also arrived a little sooner than expected.