Was the Break Really This Long? - 3
Come to think of it, I only possessed this body five years ago, so wouldn't it be more accurate to count me as six rather than twenty-one? In that case the eldest son isn't me at all—it's Erich. This marriage pressure is something Erich ought to be facing in a properly ordered universe.
Of course that's complete nonsense. If I ever said something like that out loud, I'd be hauled straight off to the mental ward tucked away in some corner of the temple.
"An engagement, you mean?"
"Yes. You're past twenty already. Any later and people will start inventing all sorts of unpleasant rumors."
That much was true. For a noble, leaving an heir was basic common sense and the single greatest duty. If one passed the proper age without even an engagement announcement, outsiders would assume the family simply couldn't afford a marriage—unless the circumstances were truly extraordinary, and those were almost never acknowledged.
Unfortunately, even grinding myself down in the Audit Department didn't qualify as one of those extraordinary cases. Noble marriage talks were something close to sacred and inviolable.
I had only just turned twenty, so things were still quiet. Give it a few more years and people would start questioning my preferences. A truly horrifying prospect.
What am I supposed to do about this?
This was a mother's legitimate worry. Even if I was a counterfeit son rather than the genuine article, I had never formally cut ties with her. Coldly dismissing a concern like this would simply be strange.
Then again, meekly accepting an engagement on the spot would be equally ridiculous. I had already refused the match with Margeta once because I wasn't ready. Turning around and accepting an engagement now would look like I was toying with everyone.
The real problem was that refusing was even more impossible. Reject Margeta a second time? What kind of human being does that? I'd have no right to complain even if the Iron Blood Duke beat me to death on the roadside—and I'd bite my own tongue long before it ever came to that.
And though the odds were low, if I refused Margeta again Mother might simply go looking for some other young lady. That would be its own brand of trouble.
Ah.
A convenient excuse had just presented itself. Perfect timing.
"A few more years and that might very well happen."
"It certainly will. There are always people eager to soil something pure."
I made a show of mild agreement, and Mother pressed on without hesitation. Her assessment of her son was so generous it was almost embarrassing.
"But forcing my own circumstances onto the other party wouldn't be proper."
Even Mother, who had been growing increasingly militant, hesitated at that.
She clearly liked Margeta. I had no idea what had happened in such a short time to win her over so thoroughly, but the moment I implied Margeta might have circumstances of her own, Mother grew cautious.
Perhaps those circumstances were the reason Margeta and I still had no relationship at all. Perhaps Mother herself was the one being premature. Something along those lines was probably running through her mind.
Of course none of that was true. I had only just invented the excuse.
"Mar is on the Academy Student Council, isn't she?"
Mother was already thinking of Margeta as my match; I knew it, Mother knew it, and the head lady-in-waiting knew it. No need for metaphors. Straight to the point.
"I've heard she works very hard. But an engagement can be arranged simply during the break. It has nothing to do with Student Council duties, does it?"
"The problem is what comes after graduation."
I kept my mouth moving. The Academy Student Council was generally a gathering of students who intended to enter government service. If Margeta wanted a civil post, an engagement or marriage talk with me would only be a burden.
"If someone's goal is the bureaucracy, they usually avoid marrying right after graduation. A wedding doesn't end the day of the ceremony, and afterward you need time to adjust to the other family."
"I-is that so?"
"Yes. And by the time you finish that adjustment period and return, the juniors who used to be on the Student Council have already graduated. Having more competitors is hardly ideal, is it?"
Mother had spent her life far removed from both the Academy Student Council and the administrative bureaucracy. She quietly lowered her gaze. She lacked the knowledge to argue, and the person speaking was, after all, a department chief within that very administration.
When an expert says so, you tend to believe it. Inside the ministries I might be shoved this way and that like any other civil servant, but outside them I was a high-ranking official.
"An engagement and a marriage are separate things, of course, but even an engagement could pressure Mar if she has bureaucratic ambitions. She might even give up her dreams because of me."
"That would be unforgivable."
"Exactly. So let's wait a few years until Mar has secured her position as an official."
Mother nodded as though convinced, and the head lady-in-waiting let out a small, resigned sigh.
It actually worked.
In truth I had no idea whether people avoided marrying right after graduation or waited until they were established. My own civil-service career had never been normal; how would I know? I had simply remembered a junior subordinate taking leave for his wedding years ago and fabricated the rest on the spot.
Anyone familiar with the actual bureaucracy would have seen through the flimsy excuse at once, but Mother knew nothing of that world. And I was a department chief. How many people would dare contradict a department chief when he said so?
At any rate, this bought me a few years. Whatever pressure arrived after that could be left to the Karl of the future.
It's not like I'm just kicking the can down the road.
I knew perfectly well this method was no fundamental solution. Solving it properly, though, would mean bringing up Hecate, and I had no desire to parade that story around simply because I didn't want to marry.
They say shared pain is halved, but what sin have the people who would suddenly be forced to share a burden I can carry alone? Did Mother, who was only worried about her eldest son's future spouse in pure good faith, deserve that kind of pain?
And I couldn't bear the pitying looks I would receive. The more of those I got, the more impossible it would become to ever shake the matter off. The Minister and the Duke of Victory already provided more than enough of that.
"At this rate Erich might end up marrying before I do."
"No matter what, the eldest son comes first."
Mother shook her head firmly at the remark I had made to change the subject, and I found myself smiling bitterly. Well, who knows when that eldest son will finally make up his mind.
It was fortunate the family head wasn't the one applying marriage pressure. Mother could still be persuaded to this extent, but if the family head set his mind to it, would persuasion even work?
For a moment I pictured him, expressionless, simply repeating, "So, about the marriage?" Over and over. Yeah… no good answers there.
From that day on Mother never again raised the subject of marriage talks.
Of course she continued inviting Margeta to tea and seating her front and center. She had only stopped the verbal pressure, nothing more.
And the look she gave Margeta grew even more wistful—like a child told she must wait a little longer even though a ripe, tempting fruit hung right before her eyes, close enough to pluck with an outstretched hand.
"Mother? Is there something you wished to say?"
"No, nothing at all."
As a bonus, Mother's growing frustration seemed to increase her affection for Margeta as well. Before long the formal speech she had been using softened into ordinary address.
Naturally Margeta was delighted. Someone who could find happiness in such small things was surely living a happy life.
"Excuse me for a moment."
A vibration in my breast pocket made me rise quietly from my seat. I had asked the deputy chief to look into Count Horfelt; perhaps the investigation was already finished.
Of course I couldn't return to the Imperial Capital immediately, so the order had been given remotely. The results would be brief at best; anything thorough would have to wait until I could examine them in person.
I asked Mother and Margeta to excuse me and headed for a quiet corner of the rear garden.
A faint vibration sounded, and Karl rose from his seat. Something work-related, no doubt. As Chief of the Audit Department, Karl never truly had a day of rest.
It always pained me to see. Someday I hoped he would step down from office and live in peace. Someday I hoped we could quietly spend our days together in the Tailglehen countship.
Someday.
Someday it would happen. Yes, it certainly would.
"A bureaucrat's life is never easy, I suppose."
"No. It doesn't seem so."
I nodded repeatedly at Mother's words. From her perspective as well, the sight of Karl living far away in the capital must have been hard to bear.
After watching his retreating back for a moment, Mother turned to me and smiled gently.
"And yet you chose that path. How admirable."
I blinked several times at the strange remark. It was rude of me not to answer at once, but Mother only gave a small nod as if it were perfectly fine.
"Karl told me. He said you intend to enter government service."
"Ah… well… yes."
The Student Council was generally a gathering of students who dreamed of civil posts, so her words were correct. And before Karl had come to the Academy I had even considered joining the Audit Department myself.
Of course, once Karl arrived that career path lost all meaning.
"Entering the bureaucracy makes marriage difficult for several years, but since you chose the path yourself, we must support you."
"Pardon?"
Pardon?
The incomprehensible words from Mother's mouth turned my mind completely blank. Entering the bureaucracy makes marriage difficult? For several years? Really?
I didn't know. I never knew that. If I had, I would never have looked twice at a government post. Why would I choose something that only got in the way of being with Karl?
Oh no…!
Mother said she would support me. In her heart I had already become the future daughter-in-law who would spend years after graduation living as a civil servant.
No, absolutely not! I have no intention of waiting years…! I want to do it right after graduation—no, if Karl were willing, I'd do it today!
"It can't have been an easy choice for a duke's daughter, yet you chose to serve the Empire. Billy will be impressed as well."
But Mother continued speaking with that warm smile, and I couldn't bring myself to open my mouth. If I said "That's not true" in this situation, I was certain I would see her expression turn cold.
She seemed so pleased that I would become an official and serve the Empire. If that premise suddenly collapsed, her present satisfaction and contentment might turn into a sense of betrayal.
No…
Why did I do it? Why last year?