The Irreversible River
Dorothy kicked me in the shin and vanished. Not from the village, though. The bakery lady said she'd seen her, and the kids by the well claimed the same. I'd even caught a glimpse of her black hair whipping around the corner of the alley near my house. But she never showed herself to me.
"She starts the fight and then hides?" I muttered, spinning my wooden sword in the middle of the training ground. It felt unfair. Dorothy was the one who'd said something weird in front of everyone, kicked my shin, cursed at me, and run off. So why was I the one left feeling unsettled?
Training ended without anyone picking a fight with me. That should have been nice. No voice calling out, "Hey, you actually seem human today." No hand stealing meat off my plate at dinner. No one scolding me for tossing my sweaty training clothes on the floor. Even when my wrist throbbed, no Cold Magic came to soothe it. I rotated my left wrist for no reason. It ached. I'd thought it was just a minor everyday spell, but without it, everything felt off.
A few girls passing by the training ground stopped to stare. I ignored them. Sweat dripped from my chin, and my shirt clung to my back. "Kyle looks kinda scary today." "No, he's cool, right?" Their whispers drifted on the wind. I pretended not to hear. If Dorothy had been there, she would've listened in, then flashed that bright smile everyone called the prettiest in the village and elbowed me in the side. "Must be nice being so popular." I probably would've answered something like, "If you know, then do something about it." And she would've kicked my shin. For real, this time.
I lowered the wooden sword and rubbed my wrist. A little Cold Magic would've been nice right now. The thought made my face twist. "She only ever bothered with convenient little spells like that."
After training, Luna's group called out to me. "Kyle, want to come to Broomhel with us?" Luna held a small bundle of cookies against her chest. Her friends stood beside her. It wasn't just the two of us. I couldn't find a reason to refuse. Training was over, and there was nothing waiting for me at home. Dorothy definitely wasn't coming to find me.
"Sure." Luna's face brightened a little.
+++
"Kyle, look at this!" Broomhel was a small city a short distance from our village. The market was far livelier than back home. The smell of roasted nuts, warm bread, the rumble of carriage wheels pressing into mud, and merchants calling out to customers all hit me at once. I stopped in front of a snack stall. Strawberry sugar skewers. The clear, hardened sugar coating the fruit sparkled in the sunlight. Dorothy always used to steal mine whenever I bought two. Without thinking, I said, "Two of these, please."
……Why did I buy these?
Luna asked from beside me, "Do you like them?"
"No."
"Then why?"
I couldn't answer.
+++
Dorothy decided to practice living without Kyle. More precisely, she felt like she'd go insane if she didn't. Kyle's words kept echoing in her head. She rolled around under her blanket for a long time before suddenly sitting up.
"Fine." Even though she was alone in her room, she spoke clearly on purpose. "I'll use this chance to practice living without Kyle."
Once she said it, it sounded reasonable. Losing one person didn't kill you. He was just a childhood friend. A childhood friend who'd stuck to her since they were little, had a nasty personality, no tact, threw his training clothes wherever, and left wet underwear on the floor like shed skin. Life would go on without a guy like that.
The first practice was breakfast. Grilled meat sat on the table. Dorothy picked up her chopsticks and, like always, set aside the best piece on the edge of her plate.
"Ah." Her hand stopped. That was the cut she always gave to Kyle. She poked at the meat with her chopsticks. "It's just a habit." The words sounded too much like an excuse even to her. She brought the meat to her own mouth, but somehow it didn't taste good. In the end, she put it back on the edge of the plate.
The second practice was going outside. Dorothy brushed her hair longer than usual. The more she combed, the more her black hair shone. She looked beautiful in the mirror. She knew why the villagers kept calling her pretty. Her slightly below-average height, her dark brown eyes, the dimples that appeared when she smiled—she understood that people found them cute. So she deliberately chose a bright ribbon. It stood out against her black hair. She layered a faint Light Magic over it as well. The glow shimmered subtly only at the edges of her hair, never too much. Dorothy smiled at her reflection. Brightly. Casually. Like a girl who was perfectly fine without someone like Kyle.
"Perfect." Even after saying it, a corner of her chest felt empty. What would Kyle have said if he'd seen her? That he thought a bug had landed on her head? Or would he have just looked away without a word? Or maybe…… Dorothy pressed her lips together. "Don't think about it."
When she stepped out into the street, people's gazes followed her. "Dorothy, you dressed up today?" "The ribbon suits you." Dorothy smiled with her usual expression. "Just going for a walk." Her voice was bright. Her black hair swayed lightly over her shoulders with each step. A few young men from the village turned to look. Dorothy knew those stares. She knew she was pretty. But she wasn't sure if that prettiness was enough to hold onto Kyle. She was certain of one thing: Kyle would eventually leave for a bigger world. At least, the silver-haired noblewoman from her prophetic dreams looked far more elegant, refined, and beautiful than Dorothy. That woman had smiled as if Kyle's seat beside her had always been hers. Dorothy clenched her fingertips. The faint Light Magic on the ribbon's end flickered once.
Just then, two men blocked her path. They were young men whose faces she vaguely recognized from the village. "Dorothy, you got all dressed up. Who are you going to see?" Their eyes didn't stay on her face. They slid down from her hair to her neck, shoulders, and waist. Dorothy's expression hardened. The other one laughed. "Why so cold? Want to grab a drink with us?"
"No thanks."
"Come on, don't be like that." He took a step closer. Dorothy backed up half a step, but the man didn't stop. In that moment, she thought of Kyle. Kyle never acted like this even when he got close. His mouth was rough and his personality wasn't exactly kind, but Kyle knew where the line was. Even when he grabbed her wrist as a joke, he'd let go if she pulled away. When he held her hand in his pocket, he never forced her closer. He was careless, but never rude. These men were different.
"You're the girl who's always stuck to Kyle, right?" one of them said. "Haven't seen him around lately. Did you two fight?" Dorothy's eyebrow twitched. "That's none of your business."
"None of our business? Then you can hang out with us now, can't you?" The amusement drained from Dorothy's dark brown eyes. Magic gathered at her fingertips. A small spark of fire tried to flare at the tips of her nails before dying out. Dorothy took a slow breath. Then she stomped down hard on the man's foot.
"Agh!" He screamed. Dorothy didn't smile. "Move." Her voice was cold. The two men started to curse but shut their mouths after meeting her eyes. Dorothy walked between them. She felt filthy. And even filthier was the fact that, in that moment, she found herself missing Kyle.
As she walked, she somehow ended up near Kyle's house. She hadn't come here on purpose. Really. Dorothy stood in front of his door. Inside was the cup that was only ever used by her. There was also the small blanket. In the past, she would've opened the door and walked right in. "Auntie, is Kyle home?" She would've gone up to his room without waiting for an answer. Kyle would've definitely complained. "Don't you know how to knock?" And she would've answered, "Did your room have any manners?" But now her hand didn't reach the doorknob. She hadn't apologized. For kicking his shin, for running away, for saying something strange in front of Luna. More than anything, she was afraid that seeing Kyle's face would make her fall apart.
Just then, she heard the neighbors chatting nearby. "That Kyle kid went to Broomhel with Luna's group earlier, apparently." Dorothy froze. "Really? Luna's got herself a catch." "They looked good together." They looked good together. The words lodged themselves in her mind. Kyle and Luna. Kyle and the silver-haired noblewoman from her dreams. Everything overlapped at once. Luna wasn't silver-haired or a noble. But to Dorothy, it was the same. A woman stepping into her place. A woman approaching Kyle while Dorothy hesitated. An easy woman who might say the things Dorothy couldn't. Dorothy returned to her room and opened a drawer. Inside was a small Communication Orb. A magic tool connected to Kyle. She stared at it for a while. Then she gripped it tightly.
'But Kyle was the one who messed up first.' The rationalization began quietly. 'He made me anxious.' 'He went to Broomhel with Luna.' 'So I have to check.' She wanted to check. Whether Kyle would come. Whether he would choose her. Whether he would return at the sound of her voice, no matter who he was with. Dorothy let a faint Cold Magic flow to her fingertips. She cooled her cheeks slightly. She rubbed her lips with the back of her hand to dull their color. She deliberately tousled her hair. "I can't help it." Her finger touched the connection sigil. A small light flickered inside the Communication Orb. A brief static. Then a familiar voice.
"Dorothy?"
The moment she heard that voice, Dorothy's throat closed up. Her breathing trembled like she was truly sick. She could hang up now. She could say it was a mistake. But Dorothy opened her mouth. "Cough…… Kyle……" Kyle's voice on the other end dropped immediately. "What's wrong?" Dorothy clutched her blanket. Her fingertips turned white. Her heart pounded. Guilt. Anxiety. Expectation. And something deeper, stickier. In a weak voice, Dorothy said, "I…… I'm burning up with fever……" She swallowed once. The lie had already left her lips. "It hurts so much…… I think I'm going to throw up……" In that moment, Dorothy knew. There was no going back now.