I Became a Magical Girl's Mascot
Magical girls.
Dantalion knew a little about them himself.
Wasn't the whole premise of magical girls about luring some clueless kid with sweet talk and then dumping them straight into danger?
I hear some countries even treat magical girls as national military assets these days.
He didn't know the details, but Sitri had told him, so it carried some weight. The girl paid attention to worldly trends; on topics like this she was surprisingly reliable.
But… why would the Archangel be looking for one of those?
"Having a rough time? I never took you for someone whose tastes ran that way."
"I won't deny the rough part. But I am perfectly normal right now."
Could a guy who drank black tea straight from plastic bottles really call himself normal?
Michael pulled a bottle of tea from the mini-fridge, filled a cup to the brim, and said,
"Magical girls actually exist."
"I see."
"…I'm not joking. They really exist."
Dantalion looked at him with open pity, and Michael gulped down the tea in one go. One cup wasn't enough; he drained two more before pulling a document from his desk drawer.
"Read it."
"……"
Had the entire angelic host gone collectively insane?
After a moment of serious consideration, Dantalion opened the file.
The first page was packed with photographs of girls sporting animal ears, their star-shaped eyes sparkling…
"The project lead's personal tastes got mixed in, so the paperwork looks ridiculous. The later pages are normal—just flip through quickly."
"I see."
"You bastard."
He'd only been agreeing. Why the attitude?
Having thoroughly needled Michael, Dantalion turned the pages and read.
The contents could be summarized as follows:
First, dispatch a guardian angel to a world that has no means of preventing its own destruction.
Second, select the most morally upright girl—or boy?—by angelic standards and grant her power.
Third, once the destruction is averted, reclaim the power and bestow ample compensation.
Wow. Happy ending!
"……"
"The reason we target children is that they accept an angel's power more readily… Wait, why am I explaining this to you?"
Michael sighed and stuffed the documents back into the drawer. Composing himself, he pushed his glasses up with one finger.
"Think whatever you like, but the Magical Girl Project has a fairly high success rate."
"I read the file, so I know. What does any of that have to do with me?"
"Because I intend to put you on a similar assignment."
"You're telling me… to become a magical girl?"
Dantalion recoiled a full step. If you're going to lose your mind, at least do it gracefully. What kind of tyranny was this?
Fighting angels in Heaven was pure madness. But with the Creator asleep, even angelic power had limits—so an escape attempt might just—
Crack.
"Are you mocking me right now?"
An aura thick with rage shattered the lenses of Michael's glasses.
Even the angels who had planned the Magical Girl Project would have found Michael's current state incomprehensible. And of all people, a workplace colleague as a magical girl? If anyone ever saw that, Michael's blood pressure would explode and kill him on the spot.
"Then what else could it be?"
"Mascot! Familiar! Talking doll! Every single one of those is listed in the documents!"
Ah. So that was what he meant.
Dantalion nodded in understanding.
A kind of living amplifier that followed a magical girl around and assisted her—helping with magic, sometimes stepping in personally to solve problems.
"And you're fine entrusting something like that to me?"
"When you have no teeth, you use your gums. Whatever the reason, I have no intention of standing by while morality on the surface world collapses."
Demon or angel—if it could stop the corruption of the earth, all was well.
Michael swapped in a fresh pair of glasses and tossed something clay-like at Dantalion.
"A vessel designed so you can use power in the surface world."
"You want me to shape it myself? No pre-made vessels?"
"…If this is your taste, feel free to take one."
Michael summoned the vessels other angels had already molded. Every last one was an adorable little creature based on cute animals…
"I'll make my own."
He had zero confidence he could speak with a face like that.
Storing the clay vessel in his internal storage space, Dantalion asked out of curiosity,
"Why me, though? Plenty of other demons could handle this."
"I don't particularly want to entrust it to a Great Demon either, of all people…"
With a sour expression, Michael flicked his fingers and opened a filing cabinet against the wall. Hundreds of documents were crammed inside—every one of them a record of something demons had done.
Michael pointed at the cabinet.
"Are you seriously suggesting I hand this job to those psychopaths?"
"Ahem."
By contrast, Dantalion had spent long years as Chief Justice without ever causing major trouble. There was a reason the Creator had forged a Great Demon from a human soul.
Praising the Creator's foresight, Michael held out another document.
"This is the Magical Girl Project manual. Take it with you. The vessel can break, so try to minimize personal intervention."
"You could have given me the manual when you handed over the vessel."
"I should have just not given it to you at all. Take it and get out."
Would joking that his hair was already white so he couldn't grow any more gray hairs make Michael angry?
After a brief moment of thought, Dantalion pocketed the manual and left the room.
Back in Hell, Dantalion's first priority was shaping the vessel.
He poured a little power and mental image into the clay sitting on his office desk and gave it a tap.
"Kyaaaaaaak!!!"
"Whoa—it's a twisted eel from the Yellow Springs!"
"This is…"
The vessel, charged with power, had twisted into the shape of a pretzel dunked in sewage.
Dantalion withdrew the power, kneaded the clay back together, and pondered.
Exactly how was he supposed to shape this thing so it looked halfway decent?
Whether in my past life or this one, my artistic sense was always hopeless.
Even so, a lack of artistic sense shouldn't produce a twisted eel from the Yellow Springs. Normally the best move would be to consult the manual…
Prepare sugar and spice and everything nice! Sprinkle them around the clay, imagine something adorable, and pour in power—done!
There is no way this was written seriously.
After checking the manual, Dantalion sighed inwardly. Michael must have been getting even for the earlier teasing. Handing over garbage like this as a "manual" proved the man had been thoroughly needled.
"Petty bastard."
"Why not just try it? How hard could it be?"
"Does that look like something a sane person wrote?"
"Come on, I'm joking."
Right. Michael had definitely sent a fake manual just to mess with him.
A canned coffee restored Dantalion's composure, and he organized his thoughts.
First, abandon any hope of making it look good.
Only Yoanna would see it anyway. Cute or ordinary—what did it matter?
He erased every cute and adorable image from his mind and pictured the simplest possible form. Something neither too scary, nor too cute, nor too complicated…
Pop-pop-pop!
"…What are you drinking?"
"Bubble tea. Coming down from Heaven made me hot."
The chewy popping sounds shattered his concentration. Dantalion looked at Sitri. She was savoring the pearls rising one after another with complete serenity…
"A slime?"
"Huh? This isn't slime—it's tapioca."
Tapioca or slime, what difference did it make?
Inspiration struck. Dantalion pictured a slime and poured power into the vessel.
The clay twisted and folded over and over, emitting strange noises as it gradually coalesced into a single lump…
"That's not a slime—that's a wad of chewing gum."
Exactly as she said, the finished slime vessel looked more like a stuck piece of gum.
Dantalion picked up the vessel that resembled cooled lava and focused, attempting a connection. The vessel, now housing a fragment of his mind, flushed red as if coming to life.
A warmth like swimming through molten rock(?).
Certain the link was established, Dantalion concentrated in earnest. Start with the head, then the body and arms, then the legs…
Do I even need legs?
He skipped the bothersome parts and focused on forming an upper body. The vessel wriggled and swelled until it successfully took on a torso that resembled Dantalion himself.
"Wow, it's actually kind of cute."
"Hmm… success."
With his vision suddenly doubled, Dantalion laid his main body back in the chair and focused on the vessel. The world had become dizzyingly large, but not so large that movement was impossible.
Fwoosh!
As a test he called up hellfire with his authority and nodded in satisfaction.
"Authority works fine too."
"Whoa! Fire fist!"
Ignoring Sitri's latest incomprehensible outburst, Dantalion headed for the mirror.
By coincidence, Noir was sleeping on the windowsill of Yoanna's room. In this state he could meet her immediately.
…Noir will have a rough time of it.
Still, easier to spit out than a scroll. Young creatures were supposed to seek out hardship on purpose.
"Cack! Caaaaack?!"
"Mmm… Noir? Did you steal snacks again and get something stuck in your throat?"
"Caaaaack!!"
Do I look like a crow that stole snacks right now?!
Noir screeched something to that effect and coughed up saliva.
Yoanna rose with a sleep-mussed face and, as if long accustomed to this, stuck her fingers into Noir's beak. Clearly the bird had stolen more of Messela's snacks and come begging for help again…
Squish.
"Huh? Noir, what on earth did you eat?"
"Cyaaaaack?!"
Outrage flooded Noir; the crow flapped its wings in a full-blown fit. If it had actually stolen food it would have deserved the trouble—but this time it was a pure victim.
Yoanna gripped Noir firmly and yanked hard on whatever her fingers had caught.
Pop!!!
A satisfyingly elastic extraction sound that cleared the ears.
She returned the exhausted Noir to its perch and set the thing in her hand on the desk.
A baby slime? Do slimes even have babies?
The reddish lump wriggled as if alive. If it really was a baby slime, the right thing was to release it into nature. They ate filth and enriched the soil—good creatures.
She opened the window and was about to drop the lump outside when—
"Yoanna, it's been a while since we met in person—"
Having successfully formed a body, Dantalion was immediately seized by gravity and plummeted.
Watching him fall, Yoanna thought blankly: It came out of Noir's mouth… and just now, while falling, it looked and sounded just like Lord Dantalion…
"Kyaaaaaaak?!"
Realizing this was something important, Yoanna leapt out the window after him.
Dantalion looked up at Yoanna dropping toward him and thought,
Wouldn't the stairs have been better?
That thought, and then Yoanna's backside crushed his vessel flat.