Cactus Fruits and Two Tickets #3
There was only one ticket to the surface world. And it was already in Deputy Narcissus's hands.
"No time to hesitate!"
Before the winner was fully decided, I figured I had to make my move. This wasn't the time to play it safe!
"Hey! You! Do you know where you are, barging in like this?!"
"These damn Audit Team bastards!"
Clatter-crash, thud-bang! I pushed through the people blocking me and reached my destination. I flung open the door marked Safety Management, and in an instant, a swarm of eyes and glares locked onto me.
The atmosphere nearly overwhelmed me, making me shrink back a little. But based on everything I'd been through so far, sometimes in situations like this, it was better to stand tall and push hard instead of cowering.
The reasons my surface trips had failed before? Maybe I'd been too cautious.
"I'm Deputy Jo Iseo from Audit Team 1. I need to speak to someone high up here! Paranoy! Chief Marquius! Prince Zagreus! Are you in theeeere?!"
As I was causing this noisy ruckus, burly security guards who looked like Spartan soldiers grabbed me to drag me out—
"Stop nipni-dat...! Who dares call this Paranoy by name so casually? When addressing Prince Zagreus, always add 'nim,' and call this Paranoy 'ssi' nipni-dat...!"
Thud-thud. A nymph about half my height appeared. People around us bowed their heads.
"To think Paranoy-ssi herself would step out."
"Poor Deputy Jo."
"No more fussing—follow this Paranoy to her office nipni-dat...!"
I followed Paranoy into her private office. It was ridiculously spacious and grand. There was even a small fountain installed, with honey flowing from it in the most tantalizing way.
"So, what brings you to find this Paranoy...?"
"Paranoy-ssi, let's make a deal. I hear your Safety Management Team has been sweating over our digging into the nymph flu and ruining that charity event."
"Hoo, you know we're in a bind and still want to deal...? First, a correction nipni-dat...! It's not nymph flu—Coronoi is the proper term nipni-dat...!"
"Coronoi?"
"The term 'nymph flu' could incite hatred toward the nymph race...! From now on, use the official name Coronoi nipni-dat...!"
What difference did it make? Anyway, the key point was that this Paranoy was a big shot in Safety Management. As Prince Zagreus's secretary, it made sense.
"Your team demanded the demotion of one of our team members just to save face, right?"
"Muhuhu, that's right nipni-dat...! It was this Paranoy's idea...! We have no intention of backing down, so go home nipni-dat...! Or else it's war nipni-dat...!"
"No, I'm not here begging you to back off. I just thought your handling of it was too sloppy."
"What the nymph...! Are you saying this Paranoy's work is as soft and mushy as honey candy nipni-dat...? This is an unprecedented insult nipni-dat...! My fist is howling nipni-dat...!"
Paranoy clenched her cotton-candy-round fist and trembled. If that fist—which had gone toe-to-toe with Melinoë—hit me, my body would flatten like a pancake.
To avoid that, I hurriedly added, "One person won't cut it. If it were me, I'd have demanded at least two. Hand over one more ticket to the surface."
Damn, it was my idea, but it sounded pretty cool. By demanding an extra ticket, I was flipping the rules of the game where they were fighting over just one.
But the quirky nymph Paranoy frowned at my words.
"What's your real game here...? Demanding something that puts you at a disadvantage—you must think this Paranoy is a pushover nipni-dat...! It reeks of something disgusting and suspicious nipni-dat...!"
This reaction was expected. Of course she'd find it suspicious. That's why I had a plausible excuse ready.
"I'm proposing a temporary truce. With the rebels lurking around, having HQ's two pillars—Audit and Safety Management—fight would just lead to pointless attrition."
Would Safety Management's tarnished reputation really be salvaged by sacrificing just one Audit Team member? No, it would take two to ease the grudge even a bit.
"And I'm not asking empty-handed. Next time Audit Team has a secret inspection, I'll tip off Safety Management first. So you have fewer openings to exploit."
It was a sweet deal for Safety Management. Sure enough, the quirky nymph Paranoy's fist slowly unclenched.
# # #
The pink-haired nymph Echo. Lately, she had a lot on her mind. She couldn't focus on work and kept making mistakes.
Crash! When Echo shattered a bowl of tteokbokki—
The owner of Happy Snack House, Bones, couldn't hold back his anger.
"Echo! How many bowls is that today? You're trying to ruin my business! Nymphs like you who don't listen need a good knuckle-rapping!"
He raised his bone fist high. Thinking it would strike her, Echo squeezed her eyes shut.
Then someone—snap—grabbed Bones the skeleton boss's wrist.
"Hey now, don't hit the nymphs."
"You? The clown who orders one serving of fish cake and refills the broth ten times a day! Take it for her! Take the hit!"
Thwack! Bones's fist smashed into Crowzer's head.
"Gwah!"
Stars exploded before Crowzer's eyes in an instant. As he crumpled to the floor, Echo reached out a hand to him.
"...Nngh, I'm fine. More importantly, miss, you've seemed troubled these past few days. I have a knack for spotting nymphs' worries. What's going on?"
"......"
Echo didn't speak. She just burst into tears. Seeing that, Crowzer nodded.
"Must be love and parting. What else could make a fully grown nymph like you cry? Can't be helped. This Crowzer will help you."
"......!"
Echo was shocked. Someone offering to help her?
Soon, Echo wrote out how her dear friend was leaving on a long journey—unsure when they'd meet again. And how she couldn't do anything for that friend.
Crowzer's expression turned serious as he read. It felt personal, somehow.
"When is your friend leaving?"
Echo answered in sign language: Tomorrow morning. In 4 hours.
Of course, Crowzer couldn't understand sign language. But sometimes, words didn't matter.
"If you can't stop the parting, at least make some happy memories for the last time. What did your friend like?"
Echo recalled what Narcissus liked. He loved himself. And the one other thing... cactus fruit.
She signed a round fruit. Crowzer got it.
"Cactus fruit? That's rare and expensive—hard to get. I heard even Deputy Jo couldn't snag it easily."
Sag. Echo deflated, losing her drive. But Crowzer wasn't done.
"But I know where to get it. I recently found a field full of cacti blooming with flowers and fruits. Guarded by a ferocious hellhound, though."
Crowzer's plan? Steal the cactus fruits.
"I'll handle the hellhound guard. This Crowzer once rocked the era with his songs. Taming one dog with song is a breeze."
Of course, Echo hesitated. Stealing was wrong. But Crowzer was relentless.
"Miss, if you might never see her again, you'll regret it forever! I'll lead—follow me! The man who cares for you most, Deputy Jo, would surely do the same!"
Deputy Jo. Suddenly, Echo remembered Narcissus talking about him. An annoying guy. But also incredibly capable and ambitious.
Would that man really do it?
"Trust this Crowzer alone! I'm Deputy Jo's closest friend! He'd steal for his friend, no doubt!"
Convinced by Crowzer's claim of being Jo's best friend, Echo made up her mind. They headed to a field near the thorny forest in Happy World.
Cacti bristled with spines everywhere—a menacing place.
—Kerrr.
—Berrr.
—Kyang kyang...!
A three-headed hellhound guarded the entrance. Echo was terrified, but Crowzer was confident.
"Cerberus, huh. No problem. I've tamed that one with my song before. Even looking that fierce, it'll turn lamb-like. Hm-hm, ah—."
Crowzer cleared his throat. Then Cerberus leaped—pouncing straight at him.
"Wait! Give me time to sing! Aaaah!"
—Kyang kyang...!
Crowzer was savagely mauled by the three-headed dog. As Echo reached to help, the clown yelled,
"Aaaah! Actually, perfect! I planned for this! While I keep the dog busy, grab the fruits quick! Hurry! That's what Deputy Jo would say!"
Echo hesitated. Then her friend's face flashed in her mind. Narcissus, boarding the surface ship, receiving fruits from her.
—These are my favorite. Thanks, Echo.
He'd be thrilled. She couldn't follow him, but the fruit's sweetness would keep her with him a few days longer.
So Echo entered the cactus field and reached out. She picked a ton of fruits. But the spines were too prickly—a problem.
"......"
Echo's limbs were riddled with thorns. When she came to, the sun was shining far off. Morning. Time for her friend to leave for the surface.
Echo clutched the cactus fruits and ran as hard as she could.
"Haa...! Haa...!"
Her breath burned her throat, her head spun, but fearing she'd miss his last sight, she ran till she thought she'd die.
Finally, the surface dock came into view. But pierced by thorns everywhere, Echo lost her strength and tumbled.
"...Ah...!"
Thud! Roll-crash!
Fruits scattered everywhere.
"...Ahh...."
Tears welled in Echo's eyes. She scooped them up frantically with her scratched, thorn-pierced palms, but most were squished or broken—only one intact.
Vroooom.
The surface ship blared its departure horn. It began pulling away from the dock.
"...Ah...."
Echo couldn't give the fruit to her friend or see him off. If only she could shout a loud farewell. But cursed mute, she couldn't even cry out.
"Echo!"
From the ship, Narcissus watched her run toward him, trip, and gather the fruits. He wanted to grab her hand and help her up. But he'd miss the ship.
Unable to touch, they bid tearful farewell with eyes alone.
Right then—
"Stop the ship! I'm Deputy Jo Iseo from Audit Team 1!"
A man waved from afar.
"There's an illegal passenger on the surface-bound ship! Stop it now!"
"Illegal passenger? You mean... a terrorist on board?!"
"Stop the ship!"
"Stop! Terrorist's on the ship!"
Chaos erupted in seconds. Many jumped from the ship into the river. In the end, the ship halted.