044 – That Man's Fishing Spot #2
The headquarters building was massive and imposing. The grand auditorium inside was especially enormous, and standing before the packed crowd filling it to the brim made my stomach churn.
"Employee Jo I has successfully recovered the lost divine relic Quyne, greatly contributing to the restoration of Soul Society's honor. In recognition of this achievement, we hereby promote him to deputy manager and award him accordingly."
She slid the commendation toward me.
"Chairman Hades. Executive Director Melinoë reading."
Taking this would make me a deputy manager at headquarters. In subsidiary terms, that was department head level. Department head—the pinnacle of middle management. Me, reaching that rank?
My gut's twisting!
What if I refused the commendation? Would they discipline or fire me for insolence? The thought crossed my mind for a second, but it was idiotic. With executives in the audience, rejecting the CEO's award would be seen as defying divine authority—likely leading to punishment worse than firing.
—Everyone, beat that insolent bastard senseless!
—Turn into a cockroach, ya punk!
I might even end up as one of those horrific hell cockroaches. Reality was bitterly harsh.
"Jo I, what are you waiting for? Take it."
"…Thank you."
Clap clap clap clap clap—
Amid applause and cheers, the ceremony ended triumphantly under the blessings of the crowd.
Back at the audit team's office, I hesitated at the firmly shut door, dreading what lay inside. Then someone shoved my back.
"What's the star of the day being shy about, dawdling like this? Get in there."
It was Executive Director Alecto.
Under irresistible pressure, I was pushed inside. Soon, burdensome stares and cheers rained down from all sides.
"Incredible, newbie!"
"Quyne is one of the chairman's most treasured relics!"
"Finding and returning that?!"
"Heard you exploited a loophole in a ghost company, raided them with a surprise audit, and exposed their corruption?"
What the hell are they talking about? My head spun dizzily.
Alecto spoke up.
"Jo I, it's been four days since you joined the audit team, right? You're probably the only one to go from regular employee to deputy in that time. Even I, who parachuted in with noble blood, didn't manage that."
She nodded toward Deputy Manager Narcissus.
"Deputy Narcissus. Clear out your desk for Deputy Jo."
"Pardon? Me? B-but this window seat is the prime spot I fought for! It took me a full 300 years to climb from that crap spot by the door to this sweet deal!"
Headquarters had a strict hierarchy. Below deputy level, no personal desks. Even deputies started at seats near the entrance, where drafts whistled through every time the door opened. But I was skipping all that.
Alecto seemed intent on taking Narcissus's honey spot and giving it to me, the newly promoted deputy. Naturally, Narcissus felt robbed of his hard-won perch.
"I still don't get what's going on. Didn't Jo I head out yesterday to audit an illegal passage to the surface? And suddenly Quyne shows up…"
Of course he didn't get it. Neither did I. But Alecto was pissed.
"Daring to talk back to an executive's order? Want a taste of punishment? I could turn you into a hell cockroach."
"Deputy Jo! This is your spot from now on! I'll take that drafty one by the door—what's the big deal? I love the breeze anyway! Haha!"
Narcissus clapped a hand on my shoulder. His squinting eyes smiled, but his gaze stung oddly.
"Deputy Jo, mind filling in your colleagues on what went down yesterday?"
Rewind to last night. I was prostrating before the chairman.
"It's all my fault for finding the secret passage and not reporting it to the safety team! Punish me, please! I'll take responsibility and resign!"
Checkmate! I hadn't made it to the surface via the passage, but confessing my bold crime to the chairman should get me fired.
"…Hold on!"
But he interrupted.
"Whether that passage threatens Soul Society's safety is for me, the chairman, to judge personally."
He strode ahead with his massive frame. Stopping at a puddle, he stepped in—and miraculously, instead of wetting his shoes, his leg sank deep like into water.
"A Chaos Rift! Primordial god Chaos scattered miracle shares while creating the world, and they sometimes form these rifts across Soul Society. Where does it lead?"
Whoosh—he entered the rift. I followed.
A lake under the night sky, brimming with moonlight and stars. A cool breeze rustled—surface air, scented with the outside world. Seeing the surface after years, tears nearly welled up. Fresh surface air was on another level from the underground stuff. And moonlight? No fake underground sun could match its gentle warmth.
But the chairman slyly kicked away a fishing rod by the lakeshore.
A fishing rod? Where?
"Just an ordinary spot. No real danger. No need to report to safety management—the chairman can handle this."
"……."
"What's that look? Exactly as you guessed! This is my secret fishing spot I found recently! A man's haven free from his wife! You knew and didn't report it, right?"
Flabbergasting. This lakeside was the chairman's secret fishing hole. And he thought I already knew, so I'd skipped reporting to safety.
"You punk Jo I, trying to blackmail me for a reward? A mere mortal daring to deal with Soul Society's chairman? Insolent!"
"No, I have no intention of dealing with you, Chairman!"
"What? No deal with me—then who? If you're thinking of telling my wife about my secret spot, stop! You cruel bastard!"
He only heard what he wanted, said what he wanted. Who did he take after? Melinoë. She took after him.
"Fine, Jo I. I'll promote you at headquarters. No mortal's ever risen to deputy in four days. An unprecedented feat. Yours."
"No, I don't need feats like that!"
"What? Not enough?"
His eyes flashed with ire. Instinct screamed: refuse, and I'd become a hell cockroach. As I shut my mouth, he plunged his arm into thin air and pulled something out.
"This is Quyne. My son Zagreus used it to sneak out past surveillance. Soul Society's relic that makes the wearer invisible."
He produced a helmet shaped like a crown.
Quyne—the mythic symbol of the CEO? Seeing the real thing sparked interest, even here.
Manager Bones, trembling nearby, gasped.
"Quyne…? The one Prince Zagreus lost during his last runaway, somewhere in Soul Society?"
"That's the story. But I found it again. It has GPS, so I always knew where it was. I created the ghost company and hid it there."
"Wh-why would you…?"
"Men sometimes need to vanish secretly. You're married, Bones—you get it. Say Jo I recovered it."
"Me?"
"Yeah. Most expenses from my ghost company were electricity to charge Quyne. Those manipulated ledgers? Yours now."
He pulled a stack of papers from thin air. So, the chairman donned the invisible helmet nightly for fishing. Who'd suspect him using Zagreus's "lost" Quyne for night fishing? He even set up a shell company to charge it.
Thinking I'd discovered it, he offered me the glory of recovery in exchange for silence on his fishing spot. How did this happen?
Of course, it all stayed secret. I was the hero who audited a paper company's shady expenses, traced excessive power use, and recovered Quyne.
"Who'd hide the chairman's treasure Quyne in a ghost company, and why?"
"Rebels, right? Up to no good."
"Quyne was what Prince Zagreus lost. Deputy Jo I recovered it for our audit team. In a way, we wiped his ass—and slapped his face!"
"Feels damn good!"
Day four at headquarters. I'd been an outsider in the audit team—this was enemy territory from the start. Being hated was natural. Aside from my mentor Narcissus, no one spoke to me.
—Ace or not, he's just a subsidiary deputy manager.
—Plenty crash after transferring from subsidiaries.
—Shh, he'll hear.
—Let him.
I'd overheard plenty of whispers behind my back. But now? Their gazes held respect and admiration.
"Worthy of the chairman's notice."
"Happy World folks are always thorough."
"Saw safety management's faces in the auditorium? Like they ate shit!"
"Deputy Jo I! I misjudged you. Let's get along as family from now on!"
How'd it come to this? And why was Manager Bones popping up to the surface? Not for lake fishing, surely.
Manager Bones was watering the flower beds at Happy World headquarters. As I approached, his glowing eye sockets lit faintly.
"Deputy Jo I, congrats on the promotion. Headquarters deputy puts you on par with or above me, a subsidiary head. Knew you'd make it. Never seen a man as excellent as you."
"Manager Bones. Did you know the chairman fishes there?"
"I swear on the Styx River, no. Found the rift recently— the day you brought cactus kimchi."
"That day?"
"When you exuded deputy manager vibes, scattering the hell cockroaches everywhere."
His sockets dimmed in reminiscence. His story: The day I found the massive gold vein out front. Digging hit a tunnel swarming with hell cockroaches—too many to approach, so ignored. But after I gorged on cactus kimchi, the bugs fled. Curious, he revisited: water filled the tunnel instead.
"Knew it linked to the surface. Planned to enter, confirm, and report to safety. But…."
He headed to the rift. I followed.
Lakeside with beautiful trees. Blinding sun overhead. Where was this? How far from home? Closer than deep Soul Society, at least.
Bones touched a tree.
"These laurel trees are my wife Bonny and daughter Libby. A random surface rift connecting to their lakeside… What are the odds?"
Trees as wife and daughter? Bones had a tree-loving fetish? Shocking confession!
I quietly withdrew my hand from stroking the smooth bark. Hoping I hadn't groped the lady of the house. Or was it the daughter? Still weird either way.
Ahem. Embarrassed, I turned away and spoke.
"You're not married to trees, Manager. Explain what happened."