036 – My Wife Hasn't Visited Her Parents #2
Back when I was still in grad school—
Most of my friends were already full-fledged members of society. For some reason, they were all hooked on mobile games. I didn't know much about it, but just by looking, their levels were sky-high and their gear was insane.
"Hey, when the hell did you guys level up like that? Do you just game all day at home?"
"Nah, I barely play at home. It's mostly at the office!"
Gaming at the office? Was that even possible?
"Iseo, you wouldn't get it since you're still in grad school. But office life has its peak seasons and off-seasons. When it's busy, it's insanely busy—you can't even hit the bathroom. But when it's slow? It's gloriously slow."
Social life wasn't about grinding every single day. If there were busy times, there had to be slow ones too.
Even in this notoriously workload-heavy Happy World, what about the most cutthroat department, Penalty Execution?
"Manager! What do we do with these documents?!"
"Budget reports? Shove 'em somewhere they won't be seen! If the audit team gets a whiff, it'll be a migraine from hell!"
"Sh-should I shred these papers? This Crowzer is just a newbie and doesn't know!"
"Shred 'em all! Shred everything!"
Grindddddd—
The date for the head office audit team's massive sweep—delayed by various incidents—had finally been set. Everyone was battling document boxes left and right to avoid any slip-ups. This must be what "too busy to even use the bathroom" meant.
Skeleton Manager Bones soon handed me a thick stack of papers.
"Jo Iseo! These are the top-priority classified docs we gotta hide! If the audit team finds 'em, it'll be the end for Penalty Execution andHappy World's reputation!"
Why give me something that important? Simple—I was the vice manager right under him. High rank came with heavy responsibility.
"With Vice Manager Jo Iseo here, we'll pull through this big audit too!"
"Vice Manager Jo Iseo! What should we do?!"
"Just give us orders!"
They all stared at me like puppies eyeing treats in their owner's hand, eyes sparkling. Their sky-high expectations were drilling holes right through me.
This won't do. If I don't bail now—!
"Manager, like I mentioned yesterday, I've got some fieldwork to handle. I'll probably clock out there too. You'll have to prep for the audit without me."
"Vice Manager Jo Iseo, fieldwork during audit week? As far as I recall, you weren't assigned any external tasks..."
Fieldwork? Like Manager Bones said, there was no such thing.
"Aaaagh! The shredded docs are backing up!"
"We need more hands! Hands! We're short-staffed!"
In a situation short even one person, I was ditching for "fieldwork." They'd be furious and heartbroken when they found out. But what could I do? Under the CEO's watchful eye, my life was more precarious than a candle in the wind. Self-preservation first.
"Vice Manager! Where are you going?!"
"Viiice Manaaaager Joooo!"
"Vice Manager Jo Iseo! I hope you're not abandoning this Crowzer and fleeing!"
I slipped out of the office building, ignoring their desperate calls.
Blaze—
Daedalus's sun was brutally bright, making me squint.
"Ah, the scent of freedom."
So, where to now? Obviously, the Plant Gallery regular meetup!
"The spot's Happy Flower, right."
Crates's wife, Mrs. Kshalri, ran the flower shop. Familiar turf—easy to find.
Happy Flower. Bursting with blooms and thorny cacti everywhere. One of my rare healing spots.
Coming here always calms my soul.
"Oh my, Manager Jo Iseo—no, wait, Vice Manager now, right? My husband slaved away for ages just to make deputy. And you hit vice manager in a few years? Impressive."
Hohohoho—
Mrs. Kshalri covered her mouth elegantly as she laughed. Crates, snipping cacti, grumbled back.
"Hitting deputy after 50 years was impressive enough. Jo Iseo's just freakishly fast. Only Prince Zagreus is on his level."
[One Watched by the CEO]
[Penalty Execution Dept Vice Manager Jo Iseo]
Crates gawked like he'd seen the floating text over my head, mouth agape in awe.
"Whoa, affiliate vice manager and a title from the CEO? Epic. Epic. But... audit team's doing a massive sweep soon. You sure it's cool for the vice manager to be here?"
"......"
Did I have to hear work talk even in my healing spot, thanks to this jerk Crates? My abandoned staff were already haunting my conscience.
"Crates, there's a vice manager world you deputies can't see. Even this is work-related."
"...Really? Looks like slacking off under 'fieldwork' pretense to me. No way Penalty Execution has external stuff right before audit."
Crates, you bastard...! As expected from the old Team 1 ace—sharp insight. If he'd stayed, he'd have kept nitpicking my screw-ups, tanking my rep and boosting my firing odds. Happy World lost good talent to the Tartarus rebels.
My hatred for rebel Tartarus boiled over.
Of course, Mrs. Kshalri scolded him hard.
"Honey, what kind of talk is that to the busiest man in the world, Vice Manager Jo Iseo? He's surely on some grand mission we can't fathom. Stop dawdling and set the table! Guests are coming today!"
"R-right..."
Plant Gallery meetup was at noon. Time for lunch together—folks should be arriving soon.
Screeeech—
A carriage halted in front of Happy Flower. After getting my Ghost Carpet, I'd grown interested in Soul Society vehicles. This one—decked in gems, gold, and creepy skulls—was impressive, rivaling mine.
But the beast pulling it was next-level. A three-headed hellhound, eyes blazing, breathing flames.
Kerrr...
Berrr...
Its massive size evoked mythic monsters. Maybe it was one. Chills ran down my spine—
"Gah, th-that thing—gyaa! Honey! Big trouble! Huge trouble! Get out! N-no, run! We gotta run! Get outta here!"
Crates, carrying drinks for the table, spotted the beast and collapsed in shock.
Clunk—
The carriage door opened. A foot in floral shoes stepped out, followed by a woman in a black dress adorned with skulls and flames.
[Plant Gallery Administrator - Chicoreta]
[Goddess of Lush Greenery - Persephone]
My heart stopped. I hit the deck flat. In this situation, any ordinary guy like me could only prostrate and pray for survival—like pheasants hearing gunshots.
"Looks like I made it on time."
# # #
Crates felt his gut twist. If he weren't already dead, the shock and tension would've burst his heart.
That terrifying Lady Persephone visiting our flower shop?!
The CEO's wife. Mistress of head office—formerly Pluto's Palace. A mere deputy like Crates could never dream of her, yet here she was, hauling boxes of side dishes.
"You there, don't just stand there—help with these boxes. I made tons of kimchi. Still 100 more to go, so keep moving, no breaks."
"Y-yes ma'am!"
Hauling heavy boxes, Crates eyed Vice Manager Jo Iseo. Why was a key figure like him here right before the head office audit? Maybe he'd foreseen it all.
Of course he did! A guy who rocketed past an ace like me to vice manager? A workaholic demon like him wouldn't miss this!
Hell, Jo Iseo might've ditched everything to host the queen of the underworld.
Indeed, Jo Iseo sat rigid, face corpse-pale. He knew better than anyone how crucial this was.
"Jo Iseo, you sneaky bastard. If you knew this was coming, a heads-up would've been nice. Just looking at that Cerberus makes me wanna die again."
The massive hellhound pulling the carriage—even heroes feared it being gulpedable in one bite. Yet the woman gently stroked its forehead.
"Spotty, you can head home now. But come back for dinner to pick me up, okay?"
Kerrr...!
Berrr...!
Kyang kyang...!
Whoosh—
The hellhound Cerberus vanished swiftly. Thus began the Plant Gallery meetup.
But the Lady of Soul Society tsked at the empty table.
"Made kimchi for all the participants today. But it's just me, you two gentlemen, and Miss Kshalri. I thought the plant-growing boom was real—"
She smiled, but shadows on her face made it look like fury. Crates, undead though he was, felt suffocated, head spinning.
Should I round up everyone I know to fill seats...!?
Then, long-silent Vice Manager Jo Iseo pulled out his communicator.
Calling in reinforcements? "What? Gotta head back to the office now? Got it! Knew you couldn't do without me! On my way! Sigh, sorry to cut the rare meetup short like this."
Whoosh—
Jo Iseo stood.
"Penalty Execution is swamped prepping for the head office audit, so I gotta go. Really sorry. Can't ignore my team's suffering..."
Crates couldn't fathom it. Bailing and shrinking the group further?!
You wanna die, Jo Iseo?!
But that gutsiness was admirable.
"You're Vice Manager Jo Iseo, right? We're here to discuss the effects of the Hell Cactusyou discovered. Can't have the star leave. Hold on."
Whoosh—
The fearsome goddess pulled out her communicator and called someone.
It connected quick. "Hey, son. Mom here. Can you patch me to Nix at head office? Yeah. Audit team's hitting Happy World. Can they skip Penalty Execution?"
What brazen call to Soul Society's top dog, Prince Zagreus! Like a mom phoning her boy!
(They actually are mom and son!)
And "Nix" from head office? The primordial nightmare even Zeus feared!
Crates wanted to plug his ears.
"Oh, can't fully skip, but can halve the audit team? That'll do. Thanks. I'll send kimchi to your place soon."
Halving the audit team. They'd "audit" per rules, but half-ass it.
"Vice Manager Jo Iseo, no worries on the audit now. We can enjoy the meetup guilt-free, right?"
Crates looked at Jo Iseo in awe at this wild turn.
This guy knew and came here...? No way a fast-track vice manager misses this. He orchestrated it!
Jo Iseo's foresight was unreal—even the dreaded Lady's moves calculated for his career.
But even for him, placating the unpredictable Lady would be tough—even the CEO struggled.
Still, Crates owed Jo Iseo.
Jo Iseo, I'll back you up hard today! That squares us!
Meanwhile, back at Penalty Execution—
"Just got word from head office: audit team's halved! Who could pull that off...?"
"Vice Manager Jo Iseo! Long live Vice Manager Jo Iseo!"
Crowzer raised his hand high; all staff followed.
"Long live!"
"From now on, this Hedone's bond with Vice Manager Jo Iseo goes beyond support—we're one!"
"Hedone, you simp, why're you and Vice Manager Jo Iseo one?!"
"Kyaaah!"
It was total chaos.