Audience with the CEO
“……”
I wondered if I was seeing things. As I stepped out the door to head to work, there lay a cockroach the size of my torso right in front of my house.
─Zzjiieeeek!!!
Its exoskeleton gleamed platinum, with long Y-shaped horns sprouting from its head like a stag beetle's. If not for that bizarre cry, I might not have even recognized it as a Hell Cockroach.
“At this point, isn't it just a giant stag beetle?”
─Zzjiieeeek!!!
Look at that temper. I'd seen plenty of recent “section chief-level” ones, which were scary enough. But this one's size and shape were so impressive they almost inspired awe.
“So this must be a “deputy manager-level” one.”
This Hell Cockroach “deputy manager” seemed to have collapsed flat after failing to breach the cactus field I'd traded for with a massive haul of Hell Clovers not long ago. More cacti really were better.
That aside—
I really, really didn't want to go to work.
“Vice Manager Jo! Congratulations on the promotion!”
“Hiya, I, the great Marquius, hereby acknowledge you!”
I dragged my unusually heavy feet into the office, and bang bang— fireworks exploded noisily. Soon, a crowd of employees thrust bouquets into my arms, nearly bringing tears to my eyes.
Not from joy. From sorrow that this was reality.
For a fleeting moment, I'd hoped the “promotion exam” from before had all been a dream I'd had overnight—
But reality can be stranger than dreams. Me, already a vice manager?
“Vice Manager Jo! Thanks to betting on you, moving into a new Elysium apartment isn't just a pipe dream anymore! I knew I was right to trust you!”
“Even I, Crowzer, am one step closer to that instrument I had my eye on! If I'd known, I'd have taken out more loans and guarantees to up my bet!”
Everyone seemed thrilled with their big wins. While I was suffering!
I regretted it. If I'd known, I never should've won that vice manager promotion exam.
As that thought crossed my mind, Mr. Admetus burst into the office, arms loaded with large boxes.
“Jo, congrats on the promotion! This is a gift from our transport team. They all heard your story from me and Alcestis and recognized how amazing you are.”
“I-isn't this a mango?!”
“These are peaches! First I've seen in a century!”
“Brings back memories of my living days… We ate all sorts of fruits back then. Good times…”
These were earthly fruits, rare as hen's teeth in Soul Society.
Mr. Admetus, the transport section chief, rubbed his nose.
“Working for Charon's Transport, you get to eat plenty of earthly fruits. Share 'em with everyone. And Jo, if you ever need anything from the surface, just let me know!”
Bang bang—! Mr. Admetus thumped his chest. Small stature, but what ambition, what guts.
Then Marquius, from the transport team, piped up.
“Mr. Admetus, didn't we agree not to casually fetch earthly goods? That's smuggling. Get caught, and your career's toast.”
“Ha! I'm already a 'perpetual section chief' passed over for promotion! That's my fate, and I've accepted it. So, Jo, anything earthly you want?”
Something I wanted? Not really. The vice manager salary—unintended as the promotion was—paid well enough to get most things in Soul Society easily.
That's when Crowzer asked.
“Can you take underworld goods to the surface too?”
“To the surface? Anything that clears customs easy, sure. At my level, I could even sneak a “dud thunderbolt”!”
Why send a dud thunderbolt to the surface? I didn't want to imagine such horrors.
Still, a tempting offer. Maybe send Mom a letter. What to write? Hell Cockroaches crawling everywhere. Sulfur rain from the ceiling. Suffering in Happy World amid skeletons and ghosts?
'That'd be worse than no letter at all.'
For the record, we shared Mr. Admetus's earthly fruits with the whole office. Everyone missed the surface. Especially Manager Bones, whose bare skull streamed tears.
“Ah, the good old days!”
The “headquarters” was in the lowest, deepest part of Soul Society. The building resembled the Parthenon scaled up massively, its exterior plastered with gold, marble, and ivory. The floor was carpeted in mythic-era velvet so luxurious I couldn't afford a scrap with my salary, embroidered with gold thread.
Clack! Clack! Skeletons in grand armor and spears stood vigilant everywhere. Security worthy of Soul Society's pinnacle.
Whoosh—
Entering required complex procedures, but—
─Huff, huff…!
─Huff…!
The “ghost rug” I rode seemed like a free pass to the fearsome skeleton guards. They opened the gates without inspection, letting me enter headquarters easily.
Which was the problem.
'I didn't want to come here!'
Why was I here? Finishing first in the betting odds had landed me a meeting with the CEO.
I wanted to turn and run!
A meeting with the CEO even executives feared. A normal guy like me wouldn't last a minute—my heart would stop.
“Ha! Jo, what brings you here?!”
Thud thud thud—
Someone charged at me, slapping my shoulders hard. Ow.
Looking down, I saw horns on their head.
“I get it! You came for that contract I tore up? I prepared a new one! Just sign here, and you're a Hell Company employee!”
“Ms. Astaroth, I'd never go there, even dead.”
“You're a true demon in my book. I'll drag you to Hell Company yet. Just wait—your Happy World is in for a mega-audit soon! Fuhat!”
“Team leader! Lunchtime!”
“Team leader's treating again today, right?”
“Eh? O-of course! I'm off!”
Astaroth, once an outsider, seemed chummy with her colleagues now. Details would require deeper digging, but I had no interest.
No spare energy to mind others. I was mentally and physically drained.
Why? The “chairman's office” near the first-floor lobby stood wide open.
Peeking in, a fierce-looking man sat in the center, scowling even fiercer, like a guardian deity. His long black hair draped like a cape, his eyes blazed, and his suit strained against bulging muscles—an overwhelming presence.
【Cronus's Eldest Son】
【One Pillar of the Three Sovereign Gods】
【CEO】
【Soul Society's God – Hades】
Talk to that? I'd stuck my neck out in dangers galore just to get fired. But this? No way.
I'd die before getting fired.
“Stop dawdling and come in!”
A thunderous voice boomed from within. My ears rang like a bomb had gone off.
Startled, I entered. Piles of paperwork towered like temple pillars—my vice manager workload was huge, but the CEO's must be unimaginable.
“Sit anywhere.”
The CEO up close was massive. Inheriting thick Titan Cronus blood as the eldest, or maybe just muscle—twice my size. His pen looked like a club.
He wouldn't club me to death with it, right?
─Dare touch my daughter?
Heavenly thunder wrath! I'd be dust.
Trembling silent, a nymph shouted behind me.
“If you've invited a guest, you should at least serve drinks, nyarat…! This Melinoë knows that fridge is stocked with drinks…! Of course, this Melinoë is just a new hire with no connection to the CEO, nyarat…!”
“What!?”
I panicked. Sud. Den. Nymph. Appearance!
“Wha—!!!”
The CEO seemed equally shocked. His voice was an earthquake right in my face—ears ringing.
“────!”
“──!”
What were they saying? Couldn't hear a thing.
Ah, vision darkening… Heart attack…!?
The last thing I saw: the CEO pulling a bag of candies from a drawer.
…….
…..
“Gah! Nymph! Candy!”
I jolted awake. Had I dozed off on this unusually plush sofa?
Scratch scratch—
The CEO was signing papers in the same pose as before. And right across from me, Lady Melinoë sipped tea gracefully, leisurely—as if nothing had happened.
“Vice Manager Jo, a nymph? What nonsense. No nymphs in headquarters. No nymph-favorite candies either. Must've dreamed of one. Heh heh heh…”
Lady Melinoë's beautiful smile faded to calm.
“Of course, no one dreams of nymphs. You hate them, after all. Dreaming of what you hate? Impossible.”
“—What? Dares hate nymphs?”
The CEO halted his pen.
Ruuuumble—
Groooowl—
Headquarters itself shook.
“You nymph hater!”
Hating nymphs was taboo?! He looked furious!
My survival instincts screamed—I flattened to the floor.
“…Not hate, just personal reasons making it uncomfortable! I don't hate them! Actually like 'em! My first thesis was on nymphs!”
“—Whaaat!!! Dareslike nymphs!!!?!”
Kaboooom—
Crack craaaack—
Cracks spiderwebbed the building; gold dust rained from the ceiling.
“Gyaah! Th-that's… Conqueror's Haki!”
“Prince Zagreus snuck to the surface again…!?”
“Typhon must be resurrecting!”
Typhon-revival level rage? Seemed angrier than when I said I hated nymphs.
…This was… a chance!
“I apologize for enraging the CEO! This grave sin demands punishment—I'll gladly accept!”
The CEO, maximally enraged by me. To vent it and get fired, I prostrated deeper.
“Please fire me!”
A man's heartfelt prostration.
Lady Melinoë chuckled.
“Jo, you won't get fired over this. Liking or hating nymphs—Soul Society isn't so reckless as to fire over preferences.”
“'This'? I'm furious. First time this mad since your brother Zagreus grabbed my collar threatening to run away!”
Runaway? Collar? What story was that? Didn't want to know. Faint again?
Lady Melinoë's smile vanished too.
“Dad, enough joking. Zagreus running away? Never happened. We've always been a 'harmonious family.'”
A brief silence followed.
Lady Melinoë rose smoothly.
“I'll fetch drinks for our guest. You two talk.”
Shooosh—
She ghosted through the wall, vanishing.
Alone with the chairman. Awkwardness choked me, but he spoke first, candidly.
“As you see, our family is ordinary. Like any ordinary family, we have minor issues. But we're all too busy to resolve them.”
Hardly minor or ordinary. But I couldn't say that.
“Thus, Vice Manager Jo—renowned lately for excellence—I'd like to entrust you with a personal task. Unrelated to the company. Family-related. About one of us.”
One of them… Lady Melinoë? Or flashy runaway Prince Zagreus?
“It's about my wife.”
Ah, way off.
Bringing up his wife here?
“My wife hasn't returned to her parents' home in years.”
This was seriously serious.