146 – The Cruise Ship Turns into a Theatrical Stage
With a thoroughly impulsive—and thoroughly calculated—heart, I hit the purchase button on the cruise ship. Four days later. More than enough time had passed for word of Executive Director Jo Iseo's extravagant spending to spread far and wide.
I'd been enjoying a self-declared vacation using my executive privileges, skipping work entirely. During that time, I hadn't touched any external media like TV or newspapers. Why? I didn't want to jinx it! So I set out a bowl of water and prayed. Please let this go well. For the record, I wasn't praying to the gods of Soul Society. Blasphemous as it might sound—
—the executives here are all total airheads!
"Executive Director Jo!"
"Executive Director Jo, come out already!"
"Come out and talk to us!"
Bang bang bang.
Anyway, whether my prayers had worked or not, a noisy crowd had gathered in front of my house, shouting their heads off. Just from their voices, I could tell they were furious. But? Charging out right away would be amateur hour. I solemnly unfolded the stack of newspapers that had been delivered over the past few days.
Thump, thump. With bated breath in every way, I opened the first day's paper.
"Ooh!" Someone must have heard my prayers! Great, great! My reputation's tanking hard! Now for the next paper—day two!
Disciplinary action! Already on day two! Awesome! Just a few more steps to go. Day three!
Hold on. Something's off here.
But hey, spending money always fattens someone's pockets somewhere.
Day four. Finally, the last one. With trembling hands, I unfolded the paper.
Damn it all! I hurled the water bowl to the floor.
Splash. The floor got soaked, but who cared. As I stepped outside, reporters swarmed the hallway, thrusting mics in my face.
"Executive Director Jo! Just one word, please!"
"Your thoughts on breathing new life into the dying shipbuilding industry—"
"Egads! Our interview comes first!"
"Some are even calling you the God of Economy—"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
I bolted straight to the Entertainment Division office. Down in the musty basement, Crowzer and Hedone were plastered a massive cruise ship photo on the situation board, chattering away.
"We'll put a theater here, a casino there! Man, just imagining it has my dopamine exploding! I wanna be the casino dealer! As the goddess of pleasure, I can't pass this up!"
"Launching a massive cruise ship on the River of the Low Gods? Even executives couldn't pull this off on a whim. Only my brother, Executive Director Jo Iseo, could do it. Surely inspired by the Argo that this Crowzer sailed alongside..."
Crowzer and Hedone's eyes turned to me. I plugged my ears.
"Executive Director Jo! We were wondering what the heck was up when you used the budget without consulting us! Then suddenly crowds show up, rummaging through the office—it was total chaos!"
"Krkrk, brother! I believed in you from the start! A massive cruise ship is a cruise! My name is Crowzer! They sound alike, so clearly you bought it for me!"
Hedone, chick-shaped with a booming voice that echoed—. Crowzer's projection was something else; even with my ears plugged, it rang through. Pointless.
"Long live Executive Director Jo!"
"Long live my brother Jo!"
Crowzer and Hedone hoisted me up on their shoulders. Ahh, if only they'd lift me straight through the ceiling to the surface! That's when Hedone spoke up.
"But Executive Director Jo, Princess Melinoë stopped by and gave us a stern warning. Said you can't just execute the budget like that on your own. She's so picky about it!"
What? Princess Melinoë warned me? Jackpot! Total jackpot!
###
I headed straight to Princess Melinoë's office. Hoping for a scolding over the impulse cruise buy.
"You wanted to see me, Princess Melinoë?"
"Yes, Jo Iseo. I wanted to talk about this cruise purchase. Others are blabbing about five times the economic impact from 20,000 gold or whatever... But that's not the point of this, is it...?"
No way—. Had she seen right through my deliberate budget waste? Princess Melinoë's insight was razor-sharp, like a shaman possessed by spirits. No wonder they get divine inspiration from ghosts.
"A cruise is the king of luxuries. Even a beautiful, per.fect. god.dess like me couldn't acquire one lightly. Even the royal family would catch flak for excessive extravagance."
Princess Melinoë continued.
"For you to buy such a luxury item, bearing the infamy yourself—that must be for my sake."
"...Pardon?"
"You knew owning a cruise was one of my lifelong dreams. A secret I never told a soul, yet you saw right through it..."
Always so aloof with her cool gaze, but this time, she seemed truly moved.
"I have no choice but to act cold toward you, for the sake of appearances. Yet you always devote yourself to me regardless."
Poof. In that moment, my heart plummeted. Because Princess Melinoë's ears had sharpened like a nymph's.
"Um, Princess Melinoë..."
"Jo Iseo, I promise you. I won't forget this—I’ll treasure it forever—"
"...Your ears..."
"Ears? You want to go home?"
"No, your ears, Princess Melinoë."
I touched my own ears. Catching on, Princess Melinoë felt hers—and suddenly shot up from her seat.
"Mwoong-choo, mwoong-choo!"
She covered her mouth with her palm, sneezing oddly. A sneeze sounding like mwoong-choo!? ...Cute, but. The real shock came next.
"This won't do. It's clearly the Coronoiga flu that's trending among the goddesses. Symptoms include nonstop sneezes and pointed ears. Don't want you catching it, Jo Iseo—out you go!"
A flu trending among goddesses? And symptoms like pointed ears? But Princess Melinoë shoved my back firmly, forcing me out of the office.
What a hectic day all around. But? My meeting with Princess Melinoë wasn't a total bust.
Even the royal family hesitates to greenlight a cruise?
In other words, no matter what the papers crowed about economic booms, my stunt was still boldly outrageous. That was the key.
I rushed back to the office and told Hedone and Crowzer.
"After the cruise christening, let's throw a massive onboard party. True to the Entertainment Division name. A party on the water, on the ship. And we'll invite every executive."
"Every executive?"
"Indeed! Executives are loaded! We could rake in huge ticket fees! Plus, inviting nymphs means this Crowzer gets a windfall of hair clippings!"
"No, we won't charge. Invitations are free."
Everyone went silent at my bombshell. Why? A cruise isn't a one-and-done build. It needs operations. Fuel, maintenance, management—massive costs. So you need constant passengers, and those tickets fetch top gold. Giving them away free? Instant losses.
That was the point.
"Our cruise won't sell tickets from here on out."
Endless deficits! The ship gets sold off! "Executive Director Jo Iseo Sinks with the Ship—." Headline already writes itself. Just imagining it has my heart pounding.
"But brother, one crucial issue remains."
"Crucial issue?"
"The ship's name."
###
The ancient god Charon. An extremely old deity, always mentioned in anything boat-related. He was the head of Charon Distribution, a Soul Society subsidiary. His father was the darkness god Erebos, his mother Nyx. Born of primordial darkness and primordial night—an ancient god with arguably the purest Soul Society bloodline.
Yet he was infamous as a hardcore cheapskate miser. Even after automation from business reforms, he still personally ferried souls to Soul Society as a boatman.
He loved shiny gold and money. At the same time, he was an ascetic who shunned luxury and indulgence.
To him, the gleaming golden invitation was downright bizarre.
To Lord Charon—
Massive Luxury Cruise Party
Charon, Soul Society's top boatman and captain, wasn't thrilled that newbie executive Jo Iseo had snagged a cruise even he’d never owned.
But when else would I get to ride one?
Suspicious as it seemed, Charon attended the christening.
Vrooooom. The colossal super-cruise loomed overwhelmingly. On its hull: "Joey". A name bold beyond measure.
Charon felt a twinge of envy.
How thrilling to own a ship like that.
"Ahem. Here's my invitation."
Charon cleared his throat affectedly and boarded. Glancing back, he saw all the big-shot executives filing on one by one.
"Whoa, this ship's huge."
"Buying it outright like that."
"Guy's got no fear."
They didn't show it, but as a veteran mariner, Charon read the hidden emotions on their faces.
Anticipation.
Soul Society executives prided themselves on frugality, shunning extravagance. But they couldn't resist this behemoth's allure of hedonism.
"Heard there's a casino."
"Five-star restaurants too?"
"Maintenance must cost a fortune, yet inviting all of us for free."
They played it cool, but they were thrilled deep down.
"Entertainment Division lives up to its name."
"After the 'Joey Game', now an onboard party on the 'Joey'."
Even the strictest executives buzzed with excitement. Charon nodded calmly.
Executive Director Jo Iseo—a human who knows how to wield position and tools.
Throwing a party right after promotion. For free, no less.
But it'll backfire. I know how much it costs to run a beast like this.
Could the Entertainment Division, who'd blown their budget on construction, keep it afloat without even ticket sales?
Toot. The horn blared as the Joey steamed toward the heart of the River Styx.
Five hours later.
"Hey, Charon! If you're broke, cough up some shares! You wanna keep gambling with no cash? Your debt's already over 3,000 gold!"
Ancient god Charon quailed under dealer Hedone's threats.
"If you're scared, you should've folded!"
"Hnnngggggggg—."
How the hell did it come to this—.