Genes Can't Be Fooled #4

There are times when kids who won't listen get called "little treasures." This Kariklo Academy was a specialist re-socialization spot for exactly that kind of treasure.

It wasn't a coincidence that Hedone ended up doing her student teaching practice there. She was the ultimate treasure herself, after all.

"That's whyyy— Mom and Dad's era is totally different from now. Greek myths are ancient history in today's world. Even people on Earth barely know my name!"

This girl, Hedone. Her drinking habits were the absolute worst. One beer can in, and her tongue was slurring as she blabbered nonstop—annoyingly so.

"Can you even call me a goddess in the first place? No one worships me, no temples or anything. On one hand, it's nice being free from that responsibility…."

Ing ing— Hedone started tearing up.

"I don't even know what I want to do. No clue what I should be doing. Am I just gonna live like this forever?"

"Is that why you quit life on Earth and got a job at Soul Society? Life wandering, something like that?"

"Exactly! Chief Jo gets me like no one else!"

"Honestly, I have no idea. I'm not an apprentice goddess."

"Chief Jo's an idiot! Doesn't get my feelings at all! You big dummy!"

Thwack thwack—! Hedone pounded my back with her palms. It hit hard enough that I worried a rib might've cracked.

"Hedone, you're wasted. Time to head back to your room and crash."

"That's so mean! How could you say that?!"

"Say what?"

"You wanna send a drunk girl back alone this late at night?"

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"This academy's full of problem kids already. A pretty girl like me… gororong… uh, zoned out for a sec. A pretty, cute girl wandering alone? Could be dangerous!"

"Dangerous for the good kids, maybe." If she clocked one of them, their head would cave right in. Was there anything more hazardous to the students than this drunk girl rampaging through the dorms? Total chaos waiting to happen. On the other hand, more responsibility for me couldn't hurt.

"Tch, so mean. Really mean. Wow. Chief Jo has no idea how people like me feel, full of mistakes. I wanna do stuff right too—! Why can't I just be happy?!"

"Hey, quiet down! Shh!"

"Gororong—."

I clapped a hand over her mouth, and she passed out right then.

What now? No choice. I tucked her in with a blanket and slipped out of the room.

Messing around with Lady Melinoë was bad enough—my hair's gonna fall out. If something happens with Hedone, escaping Soul Society won't even be the issue anymore.

Huurup—. I gazed up at the crescent moon hanging high and chugged the rest of the beer cans.

"Kyaaak!"

A piercing scream jolted me awake. There was some girl clutching the blanket to her body—what?

"Oh, it's just Hedone. Quit yelling…."

"Chief Jo! This isn't the time to be chill! Why are you lying here under the same blanket as me?!"

"Huh?"

The hangover crushing me like a steel beam vanished in a snap. My senses sharpened instantly.

"Did we, last night—?"

Hedone's blue eyes trembled. All the blood drained from my body.

What happened last night? What the hell happened?!

I racked my brain desperately. I remembered tucking in the passed-out Hedone, then drinking the rest of the beer alone under the moonlight…. After that? Total blackout. Nothing.

This can't be happening! One beer and my film's cut? Impossible.

My tolerance, honed under Professor Zeusoo the booze hound, couldn't fail like this. Just to check, I scanned the room for rolling cans.

Whatever it was, the ingredients looked suspicious as hell. And this wasn't even Soul Society beer.

Tension spiked. Hedone patted herself down.

"Anyway, seems like nothing happened. My clothes are all neat."

"Right?"

See? I trusted myself! We just slept. I came back drunk, crashed properly. That's it.

"But Chief Jo, sharing a blanket could still be a problem."

"What?"

"If word gets out, I'll never get married. A girl who shared a bed with a guy and nothing happened? Who'd believe that?"

—Couldn't argue with that. The problem was Hedone saying it. Where was her usual clumsiness? Why was she dropping truth bombs? The Hedone in my head would've gone, "Hehehe, shit happens in life!" while knuckle-cracking herself.

A thought struck me.

"Hedone, you didn't plan all this…."

"Wh-what're you talking about?"

"Do it first, deal with consequences later—that's your family motto, right? Bringing beer on a hot day was all part of your scheme—!? You were plotting to make a move!"

The cold, frosty beer on a sweltering day! Global warming! Rising electric bills! All Hedone's master plan maybe!

"…Chief Jo, you're sharp as ever."

"What?"

I'd hoped she'd deny it! Hedone puffed out her chest proudly.

"But what now? Can't undo what's done! We shared a blanket!"

Like when Crowzer, that hopeless slacker, suddenly got competent and shattered expectations. Hedone too? This girl was a schemer deep down.

"Don't worry, though. I won't spread rumors. Not into old-school god talk about chastity or responsibility. Love's supposed to be free, right?"

"……."

"Plus, if Princess Melinoë finds out, it'd be trouble for both of us."

"Princess Melinoë? Why's her name coming up here?"

Felt like my secret diary, hidden from everyone, just got exposed.

Hedone scowled mischievously, grinning like a imp.

"Hehehe, whose daughter do you think I am? Thinking you can hide weird romance vibes? Big mistake!"

Hedone was the daughter of Eros, herald of love. That bloodline didn't lie. Genes can't be fooled.

"Spotting secret workplace romances—120 hits? Not just anyone pulls that off. I've known you and Princess Melinoë weren't ordinary for ages!"

…Hedone. This terrifying girl. All that airheadedness an act? Even an apprentice goddess is still a goddess.

As I tensed up,

"Chief Jo's trying hard with Princess Melinoë for that executive promotion, right? Nothing climbs higher than aiming for the princess."

Ah—.

Completely off-base. Hedone was Hedone after all. The klutz.

Think I'd let you take control that easy?!

"You said it yourself—I am after advancing things with Lady Melinoë. Sorry, no room for you to wedge in."

"H-how…? Even after sharing a blanket?"

"That's all it was. We both keep quiet, no one knows."

—Damn, even I sounded like a total sleaze. How could anyone be this irresponsible?

Hedone teared up like she'd been gutted. Ing ing—.

"So mean. You jerk!"

You're one to talk—bringing booze that could knock out a horse. But seeing her cry softened me up.

If I hadn't caved to the heat and let beer-holding Hedone into my room—.

—If I hadn't blacked out, none of this happens. Kinda my fault too.

So yeah, time to fix this mess.

"Hedone, I'm gonna be the biggest deal in Soul Society. No time for romance or affection."

"Then Chief, what if I get amazing enough to help you? Rack up promotions, climb high here. Then?"

"Then what…."

Hedone reaching HQ high ranks? Coldly, impossible. This underworld's brutal—good blood only gets you so far.

"I. I know exactly what to do now. Thought I just wandered into this underworld life, but nah. This is fate!"

"Fate!?"

"I wanna be huge in this world too. Watch me, Chief. You'll regret not grabbing me now! You'll be the one crying ing ing!"

Padadadot—! Hedone spat her piece and bolted.

Crisis averted, for now.

No more booze from here on.

Back home, exhaustion melted my bones. Just three days, but everything happened.

Still, results.

Click. Sent to the chairman's private inbox.

"Sticking as his secretary's poison for me."

Better line up a replacement and bounce. L. Junior from the academy seemed perfect.

Perfect after-action reports on the chairman's boring management books? Irreplaceable talent.

"Competitor CEO's son? Bonus points."

Could even saddle rival Hell Company with debt. Chairman has no reason to refuse.

If L. Junior flops? My fault as recommender—no loss.

Win-win. Especially for me—pure profit no matter what. Some poison clause hire.

I'm pretty capable myself. While at it, add more.

Mass-hire problem kids—? Insane, right? I marveled at myself.

Knock knock.

Door knock. Opened to Lady Melinoë.

"Jo, figured you'd be home by now, so I came. Heard you shone at Kariklo Academy? Newspapers raving about your feats."

Ugh—straight to the gut punch.

"Lady Melinoë, meditation done?"

"Yes."

A billboard popped up before Lady Melinoë. Goddess of New Moon and Ghosts. Impressive title.

"Tomorrow, full-on succession war with that Zagreus punk. I'll be busy. Rare meditation done, but might see you less. Don't take it personally."

Going all-in on the faction fight. Less attention on me then. Perfect gap to escape Soul ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Society.

Just thinking about it cheers me up.

As I inwardly cheered, Lady Melinoë's slender eyes slid open.

"While I'm busy, other women might swarm you, Jo. Of course, you're so smitten with me, you won't glance their way—but I won't nag about cheating."

"…Pardon?"

"I'm a generous goddess. Be honest, and I'll overlook a few flings. So?"

"So… what?"

"Any fooling around while I was away? Confess, and I'll forgive. I hate secrets more."

Of all days, the Hedone fiasco! Felt like she was saying, "I know everything. Fess up."

The god of opportunity dangled two choices.

"I…."