The Constellations' Game [Laika]

The moment I laid eyes on the summon I'd gained after completing my second advancement, if I had to sum up my feelings in a single line, it would be exactly this:

How is it possible that not a single one of my summons turns out to be a normal one?

After an absurdly arrogant, gluttonous youth dragon, now a nihilistic chuunibyou slacker of a stuffed rabbit.

You could argue I was being too negative, but there wasn't a shred of falsehood in those catastrophic descriptors.

What do I mean by that?

Just watch for a moment… and you'd understand soon enough.

Keyeeeeeh—!

Lumen Ghosts tore through the darkness of the abandoned mine and came surging in with savage momentum.

A normal summon would try to protect its master, or at the very least put up some pretense of entering combat.

But the pitch-black rabbit doll summoned before me gave its master nothing more than a single sideways glance with its mismatched button eyes.

- Ah… existence… is suffering….

Like some limp puddle of liquid, Barney flopped straight down onto the ground.

"…What did you do, and why are you lying down again?"

- Barney, breathes. Barney, worked.

"So what are you planning to do now, then?"

- Barney, sleeps. Further labor is refused.

"……"

To make matters worse, the thing covered its own eyes with ears that had clumps of stuffing poking out of them.

Its loyalty was only 50, sure, but that alone clearly couldn't explain this behavior.

"Hyung-nim! You're okay, right?"

Even Leo was starting to worry about my mental state, asking with anxious eyes.

"Haah."

All I could manage after a short sigh was delivering a solid kick to that lazy summon's rear end.

"Fine. Go sleep forever."

Thwack—

And this trash-tier rabbit went flying, weak and limp, crash-landing right in the middle of the monster horde.

- My stuffing…! My precious internal organs…!

But the reason I was fuming wasn't simply because the thing was a problem child who wouldn't listen—that is to say, it wasn't that it was 'useless'.

Despite being an absurd creature that did nothing but act like a broken excuse for a summon…

Amazingly enough, this thing was actually a pretty big help in combat.

Which meant Barney's position was essentially that of a 'tank' with a rather high-performance area debuff.

And the reason I got so worked up over this creature…

'If it would just move a little more on its own, its innate ability is straight-up S-tier….'

…was that the ability itself was too precious to waste, paired as it was with that soul-crushing, deflated little voice.

'I mean, look at the defense boost, look at the debuff numbers. How does it make any sense that this is all it can do?'

If there was one upside to this temperament, it was the fact that the mana consumed upon summoning was absurdly tiny.

But watching the rabbit carry on like that even in the middle of battle was enough to drain whatever motivation I had left.

Shaaaak—!

- Hit it…? Counterattacking is too much effort….

So instead, I found myself getting downright stubborn about it.

'I'll figure out how to make use of this thing, one way or another.'

I felt a genuine sense of duty to fix the terrible work habits of this deadbeat underling who lay around loafing on the job at a workplace with a divine boss.

- If I die and return, I'll get to rest.

Why, you little—?

Not like it was even going to die in the first place.

What do I mean by "not going to die"?

Summons don't die.

They simply get de-summoned, that's all.

- Barney requires rest….

So you could say that was quite a provocative statement, loaded with subversive intent.

It amounted to nothing more than "I'm clocking out and going home," after all.

Screeeech—!

That was the very reason I was now, unusually for me, holding the weapon I rarely used—the bow.

Peeng— pipipiping—!

And the arrival of my new party members couldn't have been more welcome.

"Dave, back then… you said you were a… tanker… didn't you?"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"Whoa! A bunny! So cute!!"

The high-tier healer Seila Novin, and the unhinged demolition maniac Alicia Lowell.

If these two joined the party…

- Dying is also hard work. This too is a curse….

…then maybe, just maybe, we could cure this problem child summon of its lazy habits.

The reason I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠wanted to recruit Novin and Lowell into the party was, of course, because our hunting ground was the Rumentis Abandoned Mine.

With a fire mage who could definitely deliver on damage, plus a capable healer in the mix…

…hunting efficiency in the Rumentis Abandoned Mine specifically would multiply severalfold.

And on top of that, if we got to freeloader-farm the Crite Wyrm as a sweet bonus… leveling up to the late 30s would be like driving down a freshly paved highway.

Honestly, though, I hadn't expected both of them to agree to the invitation this readily.

Lowell was one thing, but with Seila Novin, I'd clearly sensed her watching me with suspicious eyes ever since our very first meeting.

And one more thing.

'I can't be certain yet… but she's definitely not an ordinary healer.'

It came down to the 'true skill' of Seila Novin that I'd glimpsed near the end of our last party hunt.

'I'd assumed she was a Saint Keeper just from her skill set… but she might actually be a 2nd-class Saint Guardian.'

To be fair, this was pure speculation, and the odds were far higher that I was wrong.

A Saint Guardian who'd completed the 2nd Class Advancement was talent so precious they'd receive noble treatment even in ranker parties…

There was no reason at all for someone as seemingly nice as Velik hyung-nim to come to the Rumentis Abandoned Mine.

Even so, one fact was undeniable: Novin's specs far, far exceeded the level 40 range.

And for my current party, that was more than enough—it was actually surplus.

"Ooh! One's a mage, and one's a healer?"

"Yes, that's right."

"I'd say so, yes."

"Wow, this is actually my first time partying with a healer like her!"

"So, from now on, let's really get grinding for real! My goal is to hit level 33 within this week."

"Um, excuse me? Could you all refrain from the brutal truth bombs, please?"

But seriously, how on earth did these Constellations know so much about Earth variety shows?

Maybe it was because even the hunter variety show participants ended up filming with their Laika streams switched on the whole time anyway…

In any case, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠while I was chatting briefly with the Constellations, our completed four-person party was steadily finishing its battle preparations.

"Alright then, shall we head down?"

One close-range dealer, two long-range dealers.

And finally, a healer specialized in shield support.

'At this point, it's honestly a party composition perfectly optimized for squeezing the absolute most out of that infuriating little rabbit….'

But whether we could actually whip Barney's habits(?) into shape today…

…that, I supposed, was something we'd have to see to know.