Chapter 15
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 15
Chapter Title: Paradise Kids Cafe Experience!
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A staff member wearing a puppy costume was walking ahead of me.
The costume resembled a pure white Maltese, sort of. Or maybe a Bichon. Hmm. What name would suit it?
"Whitey!"
Someone might say it's too common, but classics are classics for a reason.
Simple is best. Old school is good.
"Whitey!"
I called out to Whitey again, who hadn't responded. Only then did Whitey turn its head and look at me.
"Friend, were you calling me?"
"Yeah!"
"My name isn't Whitey, though..."
"Doesn't matter! From now on, you're Whitey!"
"What do you..."
"Don't like it? Should I go home then?"
"N-No! It's fine, call me whatever!"
Whitey accepted its new name.
What could it do?
The customer is king! Even in a kids cafe.
"Alright! This is the first spot! Giant ball pit!"
The first place Whitey took me was the ball pit.
Normally, a ball pit is big enough for a dozen kids at most.
But this one looked like it could handle thousands with ease.
"Whoaaa!"
I clapped my hands excitedly. I'd never seen a ball pit like this!
Whitey puffed out its chest proudly.
"And it's not just for kids—adults can have fun here too!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! Regular playing would be boring, so we released some sharks and sea crocs! Total immersion, right?"
Now that it mentioned it, that was spot on.
Shark fins poked out here and there, and balls were churning in spots where something lurked.
The kids already in the pit laughed innocently and dodged around them, chattering away.
The adults, on the other hand, reacted differently.
"Huff... huff!"
"S-Save...!"
They were truly immersed in the ball pit.
Look at them swimming with pale faces like they were about to die any second!
Perfectly lost in the ball pit's world, just like Whitey said.
"So, about the explanation..."
"Whooooaaa!"
Whitey seemed about to say something, but by then I was already diving in.
Shwoooosh!
Think of the ball pit as a massive pool filled with rubber balls.
I jumped high and plunged in, sinking deep into the balls.
But swimming back up was easy enough.
Fun!
This wasn't my first time in a ball pit.
There weren't kids cafes when I was little, but similar spots existed.
Potato stew joints!
They always had a slide or ball pit in one corner.
I mostly played in the ball pit. Tiny compared to this, but still a blast.
Tossing balls, paddling around like "oopsie-doopsie."
Once I got older, I dismissed it as kid stuff and stuck to the arcade machines nearby instead.
"Ahahaha."
But zipping through the balls now, I wondered why I'd ever avoided this.
Maybe I should ask to install one in my room when I get home?
Lost in that thought while splashing around, I suddenly felt bored.
This wasn't enough.
Come to think of it, Whitey mentioned special events here.
Sharks! Sea crocs!
Dangerous, thrilling events!
Focusing now, I spotted those shark fins again.
The churning balls probably hid crocs.
Sploooosh!
So I headed that way.
A shark was swimming toward a guy who looked in his forties.
"Ughhh! S-Save me, save meee!"
The man was desperately swimming away.
But he was slow.
Hogging all the fun alone? Unacceptable.
Sploosh!
I cut off the path between the man and the shark.
Now it'd come for me, right?
Sploooosh!
Just as expected.
The shark burst out of the balls.
It was shockingly lifelike, like a real ocean shark transplanted here.
Except for a few differences.
Four eyes. And between its jaws, teeth far sharper and denser than any shark's.
In short...
Not cute at all.
Boooom!
Excitement killed, I just obliterated the shark.
Immersion and realism are fine, but that grotesque look?
Forgive? No way.
Boom-boom-boom-boom-boom!
Sharks exploded all over the place.
The people fleeing them stared in confusion.
Sorry about that, but oh well. Ruined my mood.
"Crocs!"
But crocs might be different, right?
So I went looking for one.
-Kreeeech!
Boooom!
The crocs were even grosser.
What kind of croc was that? Long snout makes it a croc?
So I sent it to join the sharks.
With sharks and crocs gone, the adults stood around dazed, no longer fleeing.
Sorry.
You were enjoying it so much.
Seeing that killed my fun too.
So I climbed out.
"I'm done. Let's go to the next one."
"Th-Those... why'd you get rid of the sharks and crocs?"
"They were ugly."
"......"
Whitey's face twisted in complicated emotions.
Who knew a dog costume could pull that off? Somehow, that was funnier.
"......Got it. Next up, somewhere without the gross stuff!"
Whitey soon perked up and guided me to the next area.
"Next! Tag zone!"
"Whooooaaa!"
The new spot was huge—vast, really.
Ceiling a bit low, but bigger than the ball pit.
Colorful sponge walls everywhere. Kid-sized furniture scattered around.
"Rules are simple! Our kids cafe mascot will chase everyone! Just don't get caught!"
The tag zone already had a crowd besides me.
Kids and adults, but the adults looked pale.
Up close, red blood stained their clothes here and there. A few rounds already played?
Then...
Someone asked,
"Wh-When can we leave here?"
"When the tagger changes! Then we rest and let new people in!"
"But...! The mascot's been tagger the whole..."
-Enough.
Suddenly, Whitey dropped its voice low.
-Don't wanna play anymore?
"......"
The questioning adult clamped their mouth shut.
Like they'd heard something terrifying.
Whitey had grown bigger too.
But only for a moment.
"Alright! Rules explained! I'll count to five—run!"
Right after Whitey spoke, everyone scattered.
I waited a beat, then dashed off.
No powers this time, though.
Using abilities in tag would ruin the fun!
-All run away?
Soon, the mascot appeared.
Thankfully, it was adorable. A fluffy stuffed bunny.
Mouth area weirdly red, but still cute.
-Gonna catch ya!
The mascot started hopping after the runners.
Not super fast.
Just a tad quicker than a kid sprinting.
"Ahahaha!"
So I ran around giggling too.
Other kids laughed shrilly as they fled—looked like a blast.
Super fun.
But mid-chase, the bunny targeted me.
Probably closest.
Thinking about it, poor bunny.
From what I heard, it's always it.
Bet it wants to run and play too!
Okay. I'm nice.
I'll be tagger this time!
Hop, hop.
The mascot hopped right up as I slowed.
Grabbed me.
So I turned with a grin...
And there was the mascot with its mouth gaping wide.
Is this how you get tagged?
"Kyaa!"
I faked a scream and hopped right into its mouth.
But weird.
Inside was huge.
Huge, and full of gross stuff.
"Hmm."
I pondered briefly. Then decided.
This costume's not my style.
Time to quit.
Riiiip!
I tore the costume open and stepped out.
Guts sprayed everywhere, and dazed Whitey stood before me.
-Just now... what... what...
"Didn't like the costume, so I came out! Too slimy!"
Looking back, the mascot costume lay split open, belly-up.
Wonder where the person inside went? Vanished quick.
Whatever.
"Anyway, bored! Next corner!"
Whitey's mouth twitched.
But it forced a smile.
"Got it! On to the next!"
It led me elsewhere.
This time, a trap run with boiling lava.
The traps hurt me.
Kabooom!
So I smashed them all.
"Next, mirror maze!"
Then a place with endless mirrors.
My reflection was there.
But it moved on its own. Then suddenly looked terrified...
Crash!
All the mirrors in the maze shattered spontaneously.
Strange.
Similar stuff kept happening after that.
After about ten corners...
"Customer."
Whitey suddenly stopped me politely.
"You don't seem to fit our kids cafe. Would you mind leaving?"
"Suddenly?"
"Not suddenly... I've mentioned it before, way earlier."
True. Still felt unfair.
I came to have fun!
Haven't even done everything yet.
Too bad.
"No."
"But we judge it's hard to satisfy you as a kids cafe..."
"Oh? Then let me tell you the answer!"
"Pardon?"
I smiled.
"From now on, you're the customers."
I'll show you something really, really fun!