The Dwarven Urge to Meddle
"What? You want me to build houses and warehouses for the dark elves?"
"Yeah."
"Hah, have you lost your mind? Do you have any idea how much work I already have!?"
Hot shot Albert a look of utter disbelief. Beside him lay hundreds of Iron Ant shells. He'd swung by their habitat for a quick farming run when he had a spare moment.
How confused those ants must be.
Hot suddenly felt a twinge of pity for the Iron Ants. They had ruled as apex predators in Monster Land, only to meet this damned monster. From top-tier hunters to easy steel-farming fodder. He wondered how many had died this time. The Steel Queen Ant was probably seething with rage right about now.
"Got a lot on your plate?"
"Of course I do! You think all I do is extract steel from these things!? I have to forge weapons too, and that damned Aiden keeps pestering me to make more exercise equipment!"
"Can't you just hand it off to someone else? There are other blacksmiths around."
"Haaah……"
At the mention of others, Hot let out a long, weary sigh.
"Those idiots…… I've taught them everything I know, yet they still can't even extract iron properly. And that's not all."
He began venting every grievance he'd been holding in.
It seems the human blacksmiths aren't picking it up well.
In the end, there are limits.
He's just not cut out to be a teacher in the first place.
The human blacksmiths were surely doing their best to keep up with Hot's teachings. They tried and tried again. But it wasn't working out.
Effort only counts when results follow.
Exactly.
Effort without results is just empty.
"So here's the thing."
"Yeah?"
"Let's bring in a few more."
"What?"
"I mean, I don't want to do this cursed work alone, so let's drag some other bastards over here too!"
"Other dwarves?"
"Yeah!"
Sounds like he doesn't want to die alone.
Hot's eyes were sparkling. He wouldn't normally say something like this. If he could manage alone, he would. At first, it had been doable. But as the territory grew and Albert kept starting new projects, the workload had become overwhelming. The tasks piled up, the demands increased, and he was working from dawn to dusk without proper meals. It was starting to piss him off.
Why the hell do I have to do all this alone? While I'm slaving away here, the others are probably lounging around in the village drinking beer.
The other dwarves were probably sipping ale and relaxing right now. The thought made working alone feel unbearably unfair. While everyone else enjoyed their leisure, he was stuck in front of the forge every single day extracting steel, forging weapons, making dumbbells, barbells, and now even requesting iron bars.
He couldn't take it anymore. It was too unfair to suffer alone.
No way I'm dying alone.
Hot made up his mind. He would become the first dwarf to turn into a water ghost instead of a fire ghost. Because suffering alone was just too unfair.
"Let's bring a few more. I've even made a list. Those bastards are definitely sitting around at home drinking beer right now!"
Together in death.
Wow, he even made a list.
The paper was labeled "List," and for some reason Albert thought it looked like a Death Note.
His anger is impressive.
But shouldn't he be angry at Lord Albert instead?
Why is the spark flying in the wrong direction……
Anger always takes the easy path. Even people with anger management issues tend to target the weak when you look closely.
It was true. Just look at what people with anger issues did on the news. When had they ever picked a fight with someone big and strong? Their victims were almost always frail women, elderly people, or skinny men. Anger didn't flow upward; it cascaded downward like lava. Hot was no different. He couldn't possibly lash out at Albert or Gaster, so his fury had turned toward his most convenient targets—his friends.
They'll be furious.
While he was suffering here, his friends were probably drinking and having fun. It was only natural they'd be angry.
"What do you think!"
Albert grinned and gave him a thumbs-up.
"Let's go grab them right now."
* * *
"That damned Hot!"
"You bastard! If you're going to die, die alone! Why'd you drag us into this!?"
"Huuuh……"
Three new dwarves had arrived in Legrian Territory. Their names were Hover, Hawk, and Hoter. All three had Hot by the collar.
"We were just sitting at home drinking beer, and you suddenly kidnapped us!?"
"Out of all the dwarves, why us!? Why drag us here!?"
"Explain yourself!"
The three were furious. Without any proper notice, Hot had shown up, pointed at them, and said:
"I'll take this one first, then the guy next door. While we're at it, let's grab the one on that hill over there too!"
Picking them at random had been fun. Hot had simply pointed at whichever dwarves caught his eye, like drawing lots. If there had been some thought or reason behind his choices, they might have understood. But he'd just picked them. That made it even more infuriating.
"Why? Want to go back?"
"Of course we do!"
"Then go ahead. But you know……"
Hot flashed a nasty grin.
"Do you even know the way back to the village from here? Think you can make it? You know how far it is, right?"
The three dwarves gritted their teeth. He was right. And even if they returned, would that dragon actually let them go?
"Damn it!"
"Selling out your own friends!?"
"If you're going to die, die alone! Don't drag us into it!!"
Hot shouted back.
"You call yourselves friends!? Friends are supposed to help when someone's struggling!! Our friendship—"
"Friendship my ass!"
"We're done!"
"We're cutting ties!!"
The three dwarves stormed out of the forge. Albert, who had been hiding in the corner suppressing his presence, stepped forward.
"How'd it go?"
"Doesn't matter! I know those idiots inside and out. You did what I asked, right?"
"Yeah, it's done."
Hot chuckled, the corner of his mouth twisting upward.
"I've cast the bait. Now we just wait for them to bite."
* * *
"That bastard Hot sold us out!?"
"A dwarf using the water ghost strategy? What a piece of shit."
"Huu…… Anyway……"
The three dwarves walked through the streets, feeling something was off. Usually, when dwarves walked through human territories, they drew curious stares. None of them had visited human villages or territories often, but that was what they'd heard. Here, it was different.
"They're not really paying attention to us."
People merely glanced over casually before looking away, as if they were used to it.
Must be because of Hot.
It's kind of nice.
Not bad at all.
The three continued walking while complaining about Hot.
"He clearly dragged us here because he didn't want to die alone."
"Hmph, we have dwarven pride! Did he really think we'd just work obediently!?"
"We're high-class talent! And you think we'd help with human work!?"
They had dwarven pride. Even if a blade were pressed to their throats, they swore they would never help. As they walked, they spotted humans building a house nearby.
Thud! Thud!
"Alright, set the center post here."
"Huh? Isn't the position a bit off? Should we drive it in like this?"
"It's the main pillar…… A little tilt shouldn't matter, right?"
"Someone bring more planks over here!"
The humans were bustling about, moving materials, raising posts, and hammering planks. But everything looked sloppy. The posts were crooked, the planks weren't aligned straight, and the nails were bending because the hammers weren't striking properly.
"……No, that's not how you do it……"
"Huuuh…… They're setting the post like that? Are they insane? Humans?"
"Whoa!? Look at that nail! That bastard's just hammering it in like that and calling it done!?"
The three dwarves watching felt their chests tighten with frustration. It was like gym rats watching a newbie flail around with terrible form on their first day at the gym.
"Hey, you idiot, hold the hammer properly. Put some strength into it—huuuh…… That's not it……"
"Aigoo! These frustrating bastards!! That guy is trying to kill us! Look at that! Look!! How are you supposed to build a house with planks attached like that! Can't you see the gaps!?"
"……That guy's definitely an assassin. Aaaagh!! I can't take it anymore!!"
After watching for two hours, the dwarves couldn't hold back any longer. They had tried to ignore it, but the shoddy work was driving them mad.
"You damned idiots!"
"Hek! W-what!? You're not Hot!"
"N-new dwarves!? What the—!? Ack! That's my hammer!"
"Hand it over!!"
"Give me the hammer! You damned human! That's not how you hammer! Like this!"
Thud! Thud! Thud!!!
"When you drive a nail in, do it properly! And swing with gusto! Hit it dead center! That way the nail won't bend!!"
"Look here, you idiot. Is this how you set a post? It's tilted 0.5mm to the side. What do you think will happen? What? You don't know!? Then learn!!"
"A solid foundation makes a fine house. Watch closely. Attach the plank here, and the hammer……"
"You pathetic excuses! How dare you call yourselves carpenters!!"
The human blacksmiths protested indignantly.
"We're blacksmiths, not carpenters!"
"How dare you talk back!?"
"Do you want to die by hammer!? Want me to nail you instead!?"
"You think that excuse will work!! If you took the job, see it through to the end!!"
In the end, the three dwarves who had sworn on their pride never to help crumbled after just two hours. Even the firmest resolve crumbled before the urge to give advice.
"Move the wood, now!! Hey! Is that how you use a saw!? Cut it properly!"
"Hey, you idiot! Who hammers a nail like that…… Like this! Do it like this! That's it!"
"Hey, don't start complaining about being tired already. Once you pick up the hammer, you finish the job! No breaks! You bastard!!"
Under the dwarves' commanding lead, the humans began moving frantically. Watching from afar, Hot burst into laughter.
"Kuhahaha! I knew they'd be like this!! Those idiots! Meddling busybodies like them could never just walk past that! Mwahahaha!"
"……"
"Stupid bastards! Getting caught by something so simple! It's over now! Once they start, there's no getting out. Foolish idiots, no matter how much pride you flaunt!"
Hot roared with laughter. Albert stared at him with a look of pity. Hadn't Hot himself been caught by the same thing? The first meddler was now mocking other meddlers. The more he talked, the more he was spitting on his own face—did he truly not realize it?
Is meddling a dwarven racial trait?
They're all going crazy because they can't give advice.
Well…… still……
Albert watched the dwarves working diligently. Dwarves who could endure anything except unsolicited advice. No matter what, new labor was always welcome.
* * *
With the addition of new slaves—no, dwarves—the area for the dark elves was quickly organized and buildings were erected. As expected of dwarves. In just one week, over thirty houses had been built, along with a facility for making soap.
"This is…… our house……?"
"They're fast."
"Hoo…… As expected of dwarves. Their aesthetic sense isn't bad."
"Alright, then we should work just as hard in return."
The dark elves quickly settled in and created a large garden nearby. The seeds they planted sprouted quickly and bloomed into flowers. The flowers, it turned out, were a key ingredient in soap-making.
"This is soap."
Ivy held out a bar. The square soap gave off a pleasant floral scent. Though slightly inferior to soap from the other world, it was clearly high quality.
How is it?
Analyzing.
I think I roughly understand the manufacturing method. Probably……
No, there's no need to know the method, is there? I'm not the one making it.
Then I'll skip it.
The lather is good, and the scent is nice.
The cleaning power is excellent too. Using this soap should definitely prevent food poisoning.
Plus, since it's made with only natural ingredients—or maybe because of the dark elves' secret recipe—environmental pollution shouldn't be much of a concern.
"Good."
Albert smiled with satisfaction. At this level, selling through the Flower Merchant Group shouldn't be a problem.
"How many can you make per day?"
"Hmm, soap-making isn't that difficult. It's a bit tedious, but…… we could probably make about five each."
"Five. That's a bit low. What about materials?"
"We have plenty. And we can source more anytime through self-sufficiency."
The materials were even free. This soap could be sold for 100 silver with guaranteed profit. Of course, they'd have to pay the elves a wage, but that was easily covered.
If I put thirty of them in the workshop and keep them working……
He'd be sitting on a goldmine in no time.
But isn't soap production restricted by the Alchemy Guild?
If this gets out, the Alchemy Guild might not stay quiet.
Patent issues were quite troublesome in the other world too.
They were.
The other world had seen plenty of patent-related uproars. Especially when Yeseul tried to patent something she'd made, the Chinese would somehow find out, create a similar version, and file first to monopolize it. They used plenty of underhanded tactics like that.
Of course.
They all failed in the end. Touching an SSS-rank hunter's work gets you crushed.
They had eventually crumbled before Yeseul. Unlike Albert, she had lived up to her name and artistically destroyed China.
Anyway, for the same reason, if the Alchemy Guild learned that Legrian Territory was making and selling soap, they wouldn't stay silent. Their response would be obvious.
What do you plan to do?
There's only one thing to do.
Albert smiled. There was always one clear course of action, a principle he had always upheld.
"If they interfere, they all die."
My money, my rules. I protect what's mine.