The Boundary of the Mind
Rain fell. Most students had already gone home by this late hour, and borrowing an umbrella seemed impractical.
Today I had been invited to the student council and arrived late. A send-off party for Shirazumi Lio, who was dropping out of school.
I had never seen the man in person, but I had heard he was famous at school—a good-looking, well-mannered, excellent student, the kind of all-rounder who made people wonder why he was leaving so suddenly.
I had been thinking it was just talk, but Mikiya had invited me, and Mikiya’s logic was simple: the more people at the send-off, the better.
Time was running out, but I had eaten well, so it felt like a worthwhile choice. If only the forecast had mentioned rain, it would have been perfect.
“If I could save time in a bottle~.”
Humming an old American song, I walked down the corridor. The soft patter of rain made a perfect backdrop.
My humming stopped the moment I heard footsteps behind me. Just before the school building’s main entrance, on the upper floor that looked like a bridge—Shirazumi Lio and Ryougi Shiki, who had left the send-off early.
“Are you looking for Akagawa-kun?”
Akagawa. Assuming there was no other person with the same name at school, the speaker was addressing me. But he and Shiki were not close enough for them to speak about me like this, nor were they close to each other. What was this all about?
“I’m on my way home. Akagawa-kun has nothing to do with this.”
“Really? Well… you don’t know anything yet. That’s why you’re restless. You can’t just let your true nature spill out like this.”
The senior paused, then flashed a smile. All I could see was Shirazumi’s face, so I had no idea what Shiki was feeling.
“I get a kick out of messing with people, and it’s become a habit. Ahaha. I don’t think it was too much, four times, was it?”
“…”
A rare flustered voice from Shiki. I opened my eyes. Even though the distance was great, I could hear it if I concentrated just right.
Four times. True nature. Restless. The senior had casually dropped that he knew Shiki’s secret. Did he mean it, or was it just boasting? I had to find out now.
“I wanted to have a proper talk with you one last time. Since I did, then… goodbye.”
I kept my eyes open, but the conversation ended there. All I could learn was that Shirazumi Lio had been satisfied. Nothing more, nothing less.
Shirazumi Lio left without a trace of reluctance, cleanly and neatly. Shiki turned away and headed toward the stairs. Since I was in his direction, I had no choice but to leave first. If he realized I had overheard everything, it would not look good for me.
Standing at the entrance, watching the rain, footsteps sounded from behind. It was Shiki.
Like me, Shiki had no umbrella. Or maybe he simply hadn’t needed one. I had once seen Shiki arrive at school. A expensive foreign car, and a servant opened the door for him.
Maybe he had been waiting for that servant. The thought crossed my mind.
“Hi, Shiki. It’s raining a lot today.”
“No umbrella. Right?”
“Haha. No one around to lend one. And you didn’t bring one either?”
“Someone will pick me up. No problem.”
I see. As I listened to Shiki’s blunt reply, an unexplainable feeling of pity stirred inside me. When he spoke to the senior he had used polite, gentle words—except for the attitude—yet with me he remained as cool as ever.
Rain continued to fall. No one remained at the school. Mikiya had said the student council activity was banned after the fourth murder was reported. Just yesterday or the day before, the fourth killing had occurred. The culprit was still unknown, and the motive even more so. No common thread among the victims; all had died while walking alone at night.
The fourth… murder… No way. That can’t be right.
For a moment I combined what Shirazumi had said with Shiki and the fourth murder, and an ugly answer popped up. Too baseless to accept, so I buried it deep inside.
Rain fell. Shiki stared straight ahead in silence. His profile was almost the same as the one I had seen before, and the background made him look even more beautiful. Black hair, black eyes, bob cut with a side part. Shiki never cared about styling his hair, and I liked that about him. It had always been the same, and that was why I liked it.
“Akagawa-kun!”
“Y-yes!!!”
I startled. Without thinking, I straightened up and locked my neck in place. My eyes wanted to open on their own, but I held them back.
Seconds passed. Sensing something strange, I turned my head. Shiki was staring straight at me. His mouth opened and closed slightly, as if he was about to say something and then changed his mind. His expression looked faintly pained.
“What’s wrong?”
Shiki avoided my gaze. He turned his body away and asked in a small voice.
“…Where have you been until now?”
He was running away again. That wasn’t what he meant to say. Why did he keep hesitating like this? Even if I kept approaching, Shiki would only maintain his ambiguous attitude and never choose one side or the other.
Push me away, or accept me. If I thought we were getting close, he would draw a line and drift a little farther away, like a lonely rabbit. Even if I asked him what kind of existence I was to him, he probably wouldn’t answer.
A foreigner. The word came to mind. I had moved to Mifune City and had almost no one I could call a friend. I still didn’t know this city well, and I had no acquaintances. I had nothing at all for him.
I gritted my teeth. I looked pathetic to myself. I had only clung to him unilaterally. I had fled after being disappointed by someone else, yet here I was again, wanting someone.
What was going on in Shiki’s head with his frustrating attitude? If I wanted to know, I could find out. Using my eyes would take less than a second. But I didn’t. Because I was scared. What if Shiki rejected me? I would definitely fall apart.
Having no abnormality didn’t mean we could understand each other easily. If anything, rejecting each other might be natural. For someone as special as Shiki, maybe he needed someone ordinary, not me.
“…I was at Shirazumi Lio-senpai’s send-off party. He’s a good person, but he’s leaving school this time. I wish Shiki had come.”
My negative feelings could no longer be hidden. My voice dropped, and my expression hardened. The hypocritical tone made me sick.
“…You didn’t think I was serious, did you?”
“Of course I did. Shiki would be welcome anytime.”
Shiki stayed silent. I didn’t feel like speaking either, so I kept quiet.
Before long, the car that had come to pick up Shiki arrived, so I said goodbye to him. I politely refused the servant’s offer to lend an umbrella, turned toward home, and started walking.