Lewd Thoughts in the Depths of Self-Loathing
Eun-hye stared at the wounds carved into Su-ryeon's back and calves, her eyes burning with resentment. Seeing Su-ryeon force a smile to hide her agony and endure the pain made a suffocating mix of pity and rage well up from the depths of her chest, tightening around her throat.
"Cheon Su-ryeon! Why did you lie to me? What are these wounds? Did Baek Kang-ho find out that you gave the Recovery Herb to Hajin?"
Seeing the anger and worry etched onto Eun-hye's face, Su-ryeon fought with all her might not to show any weakness, even as agony coiled tightly around her entire body. She pressed her trembling lips together and forced a faint smile to reassure her friend, but it was a fragile thing, looking as though it might shatter at any moment.
"I'm sorry for lying, sister... But I'm really okay. I can bear this much."
"You stubborn fool! What do you mean you're okay? I can see right through you! I know you're just forcing yourself to endure it!"
Eun-hye cried out, tears pooling in her eyes. Trembling with bitter resentment, she guided Su-ryeon toward the bed. "Lie down, right now!"
Led by Eun-hye's hand, Su-ryeon reluctantly shuffled to the edge of the bed. But the moment her body made contact with the mattress, a sharp, lancing pain flared across her back, sending a shiver of agony through her limbs. Gasping for breath, she struggled to turn over, finally collapsing face down onto the sheets.
"Ah...! Haa!..."
As the wave of pain crashed over her, a trembling groan escaped her lips. Yet, still desperate to hide her suffering, she tried to smile again, but it only formed a strained, awkward twitch at the corners of her mouth.
Seeing Su-ryeon's battered state, Eun-hye could no longer suppress the emotions bursting within her chest. She clenched her fists, her brow furrowing deeply. "You stubborn fool...! You're in this much pain, yet you still try to hold it all in!"
Meanwhile, Hajin stared at the deep, crimson lash marks carved into Su-ryeon's back and calves as she lay prone on the bed. The realization of the agony Su-ryeon had endured on her behalf pierced Hajin's heart. A heavy weight of guilt and remorse pressed down on her chest, and her eyes trembled as she gazed at Su-ryeon's pain-wracked figure.
"Su-ryeon... I'm so, so sorry. This is all because of me."
As Hajin apologized in deep self-reproach, Su-ryeon forced another smile through her pain. It was a poignant, desperate effort to ease the younger girl's guilt. Swallowing the agony written plain across her face, Su-ryeon shook her head weakly. "No. Don't be sorry. It was my choice."
Despite Su-ryeon's comforting words, Hajin's guilt did not fade so easily. Every time Su-ryeon smiled through her suffering, Hajin's heart broke a little more. Desperate to help in any way she could, Hajin looked around the room. Spotting a towel, she quickly grabbed it, soaked it in cold water, and approached the bed. Her hands shook, her face filled with deep sorrow.
"This might sting a bit, sister, but let me apply this so the wounds don't fester."
The moment Hajin gently laid the cold towel onto Su-ryeon's back, Su-ryeon flinched at the icy contact and gasped. She bit her lip hard, her body trembling as she forced down a scream. It was a pitiful, heartbreaking sight. Hoping to alleviate even a fraction of her pain, Hajin adjusted the towel with trembling, ultra-careful fingertips.
"Thank you, Hajin."
Hajin froze for a moment. The warmth and affection in Su-ryeon's voice only made the weight on her heart heavier. Carefully smoothing out the towel, she managed to whisper, "You don't need to thank me. You even gave me the Recovery Herb..."
Su-ryeon wanted to smile at Hajin's words, but the relentless pain held her in its grip, bringing tears to her eyes. In this moment of shared vulnerability, a complex, bittersweet emotion flowed between them.
For a long while, Hajin repeatedly soaked the towel and pressed it against Su-ryeon's back and calves. The soothing chill of the cold compress, combined with Hajin's tender care, gradually dulled the sharpest edges of the pain, offering Su-ryeon a brief respite. Yet as time wore on, the sheer exhaustion weighing down her body took its toll, and the tears she had fought so hard to hold back began to pool in her eyes.
Finally, Su-ryeon let out a soft sigh, trying to signal that the pain had subsided. "Hajin... that's enough now. It's late, you should get some sleep. Your own wounds haven't fully healed yet. And Eun-hye, you should go rest too."
Eun-hye's face remained etched with deep concern as she looked down at Su-ryeon. "But... will you be alright?"
Su-ryeon managed a small, tight smile, but it was so strained that it only made Eun-hye's heart ache more. "I'm fine. The cold compress helped a lot. And I'm really tired... I just want to sleep now."
Though she tried to hide her agony, the tremor in her voice and the tension in her face were too obvious to conceal from Eun-hye and Hajin. However, since Su-ryeon had expressed her desire to rest, the two of them quietly stood up. Eun-hye found it incredibly difficult to turn away, but she had no choice but to respect Su-ryeon's wishes.
"Alright... Get some sleep, then. We'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Su-ryeon."
With heavy hearts, they stepped out of her room—which didn't even have a door. As they walked away, their footsteps sounded incredibly heavy and sorrowful. Still gripped by pain, Su-ryeon watched them leave, tears finally spilling over. Her eyes held a profound depth of suppressed agony and loneliness, but in the end, she could only watch their retreating figures and swallow her sighs.
In the dead of night, Su-ryeon lay awake, still locked in a brutal battle with her pain. The horrific events of her first day as a Sex Slave replayed in her mind like a grotesque slideshow, weighing heavily on her soul. Finally, the tears she had held back all day began to silently trace paths down her cheeks. As she thought of her executed father and mother, a wave of intense longing and sorrow crashed over her, squeezing her heart.
'Father... Mother...'
The night deepened, but the throbbing agony radiating from her wounds refused to subside. The pain felt endless, as if time itself had ground to a halt.
'How can I ease this pain, even just a little?'
As she wrestled with the torment, a sudden thought flashed through her mind. A look of startled realization briefly crossed her face.
'...An... an orgasm...'
She remembered the explosive climax she had reached under Baek Kang-ho's brutal touch in the Punishment Room. That transcendent sensation had been a bizarre miracle, transforming even the most agonizing pain into pure, intoxicating pleasure. Before she could stop herself, she found her mind drifting into depraved, lewd fantasies.
The moment she realized the direction of her thoughts, a hot blush rushed to her cheeks. Shocked by her own mind, a wave of intense shame and self-loathing washed over her. The sheer humiliation of it coiled deep within her chest, spreading like wildfire through her veins and leaving her utterly bewildered.
'How... how could I think of something so monstrously depraved? I am so utterly shameful...! I'm disgusting...!'
Drowning in self-loathing over her own thoughts, Su-ryeon clenched her fists and bit her lip until it nearly bled. The crushing weight of regret and humiliation wrapped around her, tormenting her far more than any physical lash ever could.
As the night wore on, exhausted by the endless cycle of pain and shameful thoughts, Su-ryeon finally began to drift off. Surrendering to the overwhelming fatigue and mental chaos, she let herself sink defenselessly into sleep.
The next morning, a shaft of sunlight filtering through the cracks of the small window tickled Su-ryeon's eyelids. Opening her eyes to the warm light, she realized morning had arrived. Though the wounds on her back and calves still throbbed, the pain felt slightly more manageable, likely thanks to the cold compress Hajin had diligently applied the night before.
Stepping out of her cramped room, Su-ryeon stood before a large window. The gentle warmth of the sun brushed against her face, and the sight of blooming flowers swaying on the trees and birds gliding gracefully through the air brought a fleeting moment of peace to her troubled mind. She took a deep breath, drinking in the serene view.
But the peace was short-lived. The sudden realization that she had to return to the Punishment Room and be bound to the rack at four o'clock this afternoon sent a cold spike of dread through her chest. Anxiety clawed deep into her heart, tightening until she could barely breathe. The icy terror spread through her limbs, leaving her trembling.
Just as the panic began to consume her, Eun-hye's soft, concerned voice drifted from behind. "Su-ryeon, did you sleep well? How is the pain?"
Of course, severe wounds could not heal overnight, but she felt slightly more mobile than the day before. Despite the lingering agony, she forced a bright expression to mask her suffering. "It's much better than yesterday. I think it's thanks to Hajin's cold compress."
Knowing full well that Su-ryeon was far from fine, Eun-hye could only offer a bitter, helpless smile. The crushing realization that she could do absolutely nothing to help her friend left her chest tight with sorrow.
"Is Hajin still asleep?" Su-ryeon asked softly, noticing the younger girl's absence.
"Yes. You know how she loves her morning sleep... Thanks to the Recovery Herb you gave her, she's sleeping soundly."
Although she had been brutally punished for it, knowing that the Recovery Herb had saved Hajin brought a small spark of comfort to Su-ryeon's heart, and she let out a quiet sigh of relief.
Just then, the door swung open, and Ok-hui entered, carrying their morning rations. "Breakfast is here, girls! Time to eat!"
At the sound of her voice, Hajin bolted upright as if she had never been asleep, practically flying to the table with a bright, excited cry. "Food!!"
Su-ryeon couldn't help but chuckle at the sight, while Eun-hye, long accustomed to Hajin's antics, naturally took her seat. "Come sit, Su-ryeon." At Eun-hye's invitation, Su-ryeon smiled and carefully lowered herself into a chair.
Once everyone was seated, Ok-hui began deftly dishing out bread and soup. "Eat up, everyone. Especially you, Su-ryeon..."
Ok-hui knew that Su-ryeon had been subjected to severe punishment by Baek Kang-ho in the Punishment Room until late last night, so she made sure to give her a slightly larger portion. Though she didn't ask about it out of respect, Ok-hui's face was filled with deep pity, knowing the immense suffering the poor girl must be enduring.
"Thank you, Lady Ok-hui."
Once the food was served, Ok-hui gently laid out the day's schedule as they began to eat. "We have to clean out the Underground Warehouse this morning, and wash the curtains in the afternoon. Get ready once you've finished eating."
"Yes, ma'am!"
With their collective reply, another grueling day began, but Su-ryeon's mind was far from peaceful. The looming shadow of her 4:00 PM punishment refused to leave her thoughts, suffocating her with every passing second. As the hours ticked away, her anxiety grew, and she shrank inward, terrified of the torment that awaited her.