66
My Villains Chapter 66
18. Erenar Radakalin (2)
•••Why me?
Ha! It's one thing to be unreasonable, but to suddenly...
•••Alright. Is that a promise?
Hmm, for now...
I'm Erenar Radakalin from the mysterious island, 'Tirin Mel'.
Ellen? That's a nickname my master gave me. His accent was so strong that Eren became Ellen.
To add about my hometown, the 'La-Palais Palace' in Tirin Mel is my home. This should be enough for you to know that I'm different from your run-of-the-mill magicians, right?
You don't know the Radakalin family? Not even 'Archmage Radakalin'?
...You really don't know anything. Radakalin was the ancient archmage who built the La-Palais Palace, and the Radakalin family are his descendants. In short, it means the blood of an archmage flows through my veins.
Despite being born with such an impressive lineage, it doesn't mean my life has always been happy.
Well, to be precise, it was almost always unhappy. The happy memories are so few I can count them on my fingers.
Don't look at me like that. Despite appearances, I've long since passed puberty. Children who grow up without parents tend to mature faster.
Actually, although I didn't have parents, it's a bit much to say I grew up as an orphan. I had quite a few relatives, though they weren't much help in life. And there was my master who cared for me like his own child...
So, not having parents is just one of the many misfortunes in my life. No more, no less.
Other misfortunes? Well... That's a long story.
The La-Palais Palace is the cradle, training ground, and university for the 'Elemental School' magicians.
Yes, that's right, the Elemental School. It's the oldest magical school in the Middle World. And also the best.
Naturally, the children of the Radakalin family also live in the palace, accumulating knowledge and learning magic. Usually, they hone their outstanding talents to become representative magicians of their generation.
I'm a more special case. I'm a direct descendant among the Radakalin descendants, with particularly strong bloodline.
Around the time I started walking, the highest-ranking magicians in the palace, including my great-uncle and uncles, began to teach me.
Everyone was shocked by my talent. I was born with exceptional learning ability, formidable concentration, and crucially, unprecedented magical power. It's not strange to be surprised by a seven-year-old kid with more magic than a certified magician.
The entire palace was buzzing every day. They made a fuss about the birth of an archmage who would succeed Radakalin. My cousins and peers all regarded me as an object of envy. Looking back, I think that was the peak of my life.
Yeah, I find it funny too. To think that seven years old was the peak of my life.
Anyway, strange signs started to appear around... Nine? Ten years old? Something like that.
Of course, even then, my magical language, spell pronunciation and intonation, formula conversion, hand seals, magic guidance and concentration... Well, everything was the best among my peers. That was natural considering my talent.
But - while everything else was perfected, strangely, I couldn't inscribe spells. In other words, I couldn't use magic.
Of course, at that time, it wasn't a big problem. It's rare for someone to inscribe spells before ten years old.
Because of my high talent, people's expectations were ahead of themselves, but not being able to inscribe spells at nine or ten years old wasn't strange.
But when I still couldn't inscribe spells at thirteen or fourteen, that's when it became a problem.
People's expectations and attention turned into mockery and contempt. My cousins and peers who used to envy me started gossiping behind my back.
- Not a direct descendant of the archmage, but an illegitimate child.
- I heard she's been cursed by the gods?
- I knew it from how arrogantly she acted. She's being punished by heaven.
- What's the use of having a lot of magical power and being smart? If you can't use magic, how are you any different from a peasant's daughter?
They said all sorts of nonsense, especially 'Olide', that girl, I wanted to rip her mouth- Ahem, anyway.
And when I turned fifteen, I became completely alone. The last idiot, 'Lampi', succeeded in inscribing a spell, making it all thirty of my peers.
Then they held a celebration party in the courtyard to commemorate it. I guess they wanted to confirm their skill, so to speak. They wanted to stamp me as a failure.
•••Actually, I thought one or two of them were real friends. But it turns out they had been secretly nurturing feelings of inferiority and hostility towards me since childhood. They comforted me with smiles on their faces- it was quite a joyous party.
That look, if it's out of pity, could you remove it right now? I want to gouge out those eyes.
Anyway, it wasn't just the kids. Even the adults who were aiming for the honor of being the archmage's teacher started to avoid me one by one. They all treated me like a failure. If I had been a dullard from the beginning, I wouldn't have received such treatment.
Of course, even without those spells, I was still an exceptional person. Instead of wasting time crying about how hard it was, I focused on training and meditation. I didn't stop studying either. The palace had an infinite amount of knowledge worth learning, even if it wasn't magic.
...What? How do you know that?
No, feeling depressed when alone is common for anyone!
Everyone knew? How?
•••You could tell from my sucking on the pillowcase and my swollen eyes? Ah, I get it, stop it. I want to die.
I don't like this. I want to stop.
•••Sigh, fine.
As I grew older, many people left me, but not everyone. My true master, 'Jemar', didn't. No matter what anyone said, he believed I would become an archmage.
I mentioned earlier, right? That the happy memories in my life could be counted on one hand. The person who gave me those countable moments was my master.
On the outside, he looked like a stubborn and eccentric old man, but his heart was warmer than anyone else's. On my birthday, he would make a sauté with horned chicken and lemon. He also made a cake with lots of sugar...
•••S-sorry. Where was I?
Ah- um. It's okay.
Although it's hard to say I was happy, life in the palace was fairly fulfilling in its own way. I guess it suited my nature to empty my mind through meditation and learn new knowledge.
But my life in the palace came to a complete end when I turned seventeen.
My master had been researching my problem. He was studying cases where someone couldn't inscribe spells despite meeting all the conditions.
But he struggled to make progress. While he was the best in alchemy and herbology in the Middle World, in other fields... He wasn't particularly outstanding.
And because he didn't have a wide network of relationships, he had no one to ask for help. So at some point, he started to dabble in forbidden books.
Ah, of course, he didn't do anything bad. My master was an elder of the palace, and he could freely use the palace's forbidden books. He had studied with my great-grandfather, so his status was among the highest.
And finally, my birthday came.
As he had done every year, my master prepared a meal. We were sharing the meal in his research lab when a thief suddenly broke in.
Of course, it wasn't an ordinary petty thief. What madman would think of infiltrating a palace crawling with magicians?
The guy's name was 'Saits', a cruel battle magician and notorious thief. He was also vile enough to ambush an old man in his eighties.
My master desperately fought against him, but it was futile. The guy inflicted a fatal wound on my master and fled with the palace's forbidden books.
What's even more outrageous is what happened next.
As if they had been waiting, my uncle and his followers appeared and accused me of being the thief. They said I stole the forbidden books to break the curse on my body.
Of course, it was nonsense. My uncle wanted to kill my master and me. If he killed me, the only direct descendant of Radakalin, he would become the direct descendant instead. Maybe he was even the one who brought in Saits.
But my master wasn't so easily defeated. He couldn't react properly to Saits' ambush, but an elderly magician is an extremely dangerous being.
My master activated the 'Banishment Magic Circle' hanging in the laboratory. He teleported everyone except me and himself outside the island.
Then, just before he passed away, he pushed me into the 'Escape Magic Circle'. Telling me to cross the straits...
Phew, that's the end. Is that enough?
Oh, up to there?
•••Hmm, I see.
As my master said, I decided to cross the straits.
Unlike Tirin Mel, Ayland is quite a rough place. Finding a reliable ship wasn't an easy task. That's why it took three months just to board a ship.
And... Actually, it was my first time leaving the palace, so it took time to adjust. It wasn't easy to overcome the mental shock either...
After many twists and turns, I managed to board a ship headed to South Harbor. Yes, that's where I first met Phoenix.
First impression? He was just an idiot.
It was an eyesore to see such a giant guy trembling after taking a few arrows. It also seemed stupid how he got angry after losing his potion.
•••When did I, when did I say such things? I just, uh, thought he was tolerable.
...What, taste? Even taste has its limits, I don't think that's it.
No, I'm not angry, it's just the truth, right? If I said Phoenix was ugly, that would be a lie. Even though he looks a bit ill-mannered, he's a rare handsome guy. Especially when he smiles...
Anyway, after getting off the ship... Yes, I received help from Phoenix.
Unlike his appearance, Phoenix acted like a merchant or a jester and saved me from the soldiers. Of course, I should have been grateful... But I didn't have the luxury. I was extremely, extremely... Angry at the time.
It wasn't just because of being stabbed with a spear and trampled. Of course, that was a very unpleasant experience, but... I was more angry about losing my wand. It was the most precious item among those given to me by my master.
I remember all of them - the one who stabbed me, the one who trampled on my hand, the one who smashed my wand, the one who was wagging his dirty tongue. If I get the chance, I will definitely take revenge. Definitely.
•••Yeah, enough about that.
Although I received help, I couldn't trust Phoenix. In the three months since leaving the palace, I had met all sorts of trashy people.
Of course, such people weren't much of a threat. They were stupid enough not to recognize a magician. If I waved my wand and cut off their arms and legs, they would either beg with tears and snot or run away.
I thought Phoenix was one of those guys. I thought he was approaching me because he wanted something.
In fact, if someone who doesn't know him well looks at him... Phoenix's impression isn't that warm, is it? I suspected he might be after my magical abilities, or the things I had, or, um, my body.
Yeah, Phoenix wasn't that kind of person.
Of course, it was annoying how he acted like we were close when we had just met, how he nagged and scolded me all the time, and how he treated me like a child even though there wasn't much age difference.
But still... The way he pulled me close without hesitation, held me tight so I couldn't run away, and protected me as if it was natural... It gave me a kind of, um, sense of stability. The kind of feeling I used to have in the palace, or rather, in my master's laboratory.
It's really strange. To feel this way about someone I barely know.
It's not wrong, is it? Phoenix hardly talks about himself. Of course, I have some guesses.
Anyone who isn't a fool would quickly notice that Phoenix is definitely not an ordinary mercenary.
Phoenix knows how to read and write. His handwriting is stiff but elegant, and his speech is subtly tinged with the accent of the 'Razil' region. I noticed recently that he seems to speak Gelan fluently too. He must have received considerable education.
Moreover, he has a physique far above average and his body is extremely well-trained. He handles horses like his own body and naturally uses blood techniques in fights. He's not intimidated when dealing with nobles, and always takes the lead in battle.
Yes. It's clear that blue blood flows in Phoenix's veins. Judging by how he doesn't reveal his surname and doesn't pray, I think he might be an apostate or a fugitive who committed a crime?
Of course, I didn't ask Phoenix directly. Phoenix must be curious about me too, but he never asks such questions. It's probably out of consideration for me. I decided to do the same.
In fact, it doesn't really matter anymore. Whatever his identity is, Phoenix is... Phoenix is to me...
•••Phoenix still seems like an idiot.
He shows his back to others without any caution. And how he says embarrassing things like 'Hide behind me' without a second thought.
He's always hanging around even when I don't want to do anything. He sticks to me annoyingly, asking if I'm hungry, if anything hurts, if I'm bored, prying into every little detail.
No matter how much I get irritated, curse, and push him away, he somehow appears with trivial gifts and a proud expression. And he's so stupid, jumping into fire without any plan.
•••Yeah. I don't really know what this is either. Even when I meditate and try to observe myself whenever I have time, I don't know why I'm like this.
You're right, it's a lie. I know myself best.
And how could I not like him?
He protects me without expecting anything in return, even risking his life, treating me like the most precious person in the world, sometimes looking at me with eyes that seem about to overflow with something, coming to me in the darkest moments of my life to be my light... How, how could I not like him?
So... So I was unbearably angry.
Because Phoenix didn't come back until late at night, until the dark dawn, until morning, because no matter how much I covered my ears, disgusting sounds kept coming endlessly, because Phoenix, who always put up with my irritation, was frowning as if he was about to vomit, because that dirty whore was smiling while showing off a cheap ring, because I was ridiculous for not being able to throw off even a blade of grass after seeing that. That's why I was angry.
•••Yeah, I'm not in my right mind.
How crazy must I have been to think that I'd rather die together when Phoenix came to rescue me?
When Phoenix hugged me. I was happier that Phoenix was crying because of me than the warmth of his embrace that was almost hot. Even though I regret not seeing it with my own eyes, I was happy because it seemed like Phoenix would live the rest of his life regretting because of me, that he would remember me forever. Is this being in my right mind?
•••I don't know, I can't figure it out. Why have I become like this? I, I... I don't want to end it like this.
I want to walk side by side and talk. I want to ride horses together and gallop on an open beach, walk through autumn wheat fields and watch the sunset. I want to show off the growing spells day by day, teach how to read constellations, ask what his favorite flower is. I wish he would brush my hair, I want to receive pretty flower rings, I want to fall asleep in his broad embrace and kiss his lips when I wake up in the morning. I, I promised, didn't I? Let me see Phoeni.
Even if it's just for a moment, for the last time, just once, let me see him. Please, please...
What?
•••So, now?
W-wait a minute. That's different from what we talked about! Wait, I'm not ready yet.