Episode 18: Did Choi Si-joon Make Up His Mind?
Episode 18: Did Choi Si-joon Make Up His Mind?
18Has Choi Sijun Made Up His Mind?
I was working through paperwork at my desk when the door alarm chimed.
"Yes, come in."
"Hello! Oppa!"
"Ah, Nara-ssi."
"Not Nara-ssi—just Nara!"
Haru-ssi was the same way. Women really are sensitive about how you address them.
"What do you want to do today?"
This was the girl who had snatched another date ticket by placing first again in the last class—the one I was dragged into against my will. I hadn't even scored anyone that time. All I did was clap, and this was the result.
"Hmm... can we just take it easy today?"
"We can do that."
I was in the mood to take it easy myself. Ever since Sieun-nuna came back, the two of them would gang up and absolutely wreck me during our workouts. Even when I slept, it never actually felt like I'd rested. I wondered if this was what chronic fatigue felt like.
"Want to lie down and rest like Hyeonwoo-ssi did last time?"
"What is this—are you trying to seduce me?"
Cha Nara crossed her arms over her chest in an X, pretending to be scandalized. Though I'm not sure why she was edging closer while doing it.
"No."
I brushed her off and pulled out the sofa to turn it into a bed. I'd slept on it once before, and it was better than I expected.
"Lie down here. Want me to turn the lights off too?"
"Um... yes."
I lowered the blinds and switched off the office lights. When I even dimmed the brightness on my desk monitor, its faint glow gave the room a surprisingly cozy atmosphere.
"Aren't you going to sleep, Oppa?"
"I've got work to do."
I watched Cha Nara shift around rustling on the sofa for a moment, then focused on my monitor.
"Oppa."
"Yeah?"
"Do you maybe have something comfy to wear?"
"Huh?"
"I'm just kind of uncomfortable..."
The outfit Cha Nara had on didn't exactly look uncomfortable, but if she said she was, I wasn't going to argue.
"Hmm... give me a sec."
I flipped the office lights back on and pulled a hoodie out of the wardrobe.
"Will this do?"
"Uh? Yeah."
The look on her face said she hadn't actually expected me to hand one over.
"Go ahead and change, then."
I left her with that and was about to step out of the office when Cha Nara grabbed me.
"You can stay."
"Alright then."
Maybe it was because I'd seen actors changing clothes during plays so many times, but since she said it was fine, I just sat back down and focused on my monitor.
"I'll turn the lights off."
"Okay."
I'd been absorbed in my monitor for a good while when I sensed movement right beside me.
"Oppa."
"Yeah?"
I still wasn't used to being called "Oppa," but I didn't feel like correcting her. I didn't dislike hearing it, either, and I'd already said something once over text—it hadn't changed a thing.
"Sleep with me."
What the hell did that mean? Was she literally just asking to sleep? Or was there something else behind it? Had I gone crazy from not properly relieving my urges lately? The thoughts just kept spiraling.
"Just—ugh, come here, just come on."
Cha Nara tugged me toward the sofa, pushed me down onto it, and lay down herself. It was technically a bed, but it was really just an unfolded sofa, so we had no choice but to press close together.
"Oppa. Take this off."
Cha Nara started undoing the buttons of my shirt one by one, peeling it off me. Thank god I had a short-sleeved cotton t-shirt on underneath; otherwise I would've been in trouble.
"Why are you even..."
"In case my makeup gets on it..."
When I looked down at Nara's fingertips working the buttons, I saw they were trembling ever so faintly. Contrary to the cute excuse about her makeup, it seemed like she was holding onto a mix of fear and anticipation.
I knew Cha Nara liked me.
And so I'd been wrestling with whether to accept this girl's feelings or push her away.
An idol. A kid who had just barely become an adult.
When I'd first turned twenty myself, I'd gotten lost in that vortex of emotions, confused and wandering, and that made me all the more careful around her. I was afraid that my acceptance—or my rejection—might hold too much weight, might scar her.
It was also true that my resolve had weakened after seeing her hands tremble when she spotted that stalker before.
But rendering all those worries moot, this kid named Cha Nara was just incredibly forward.
"Fine. Just a moment."
I made up my mind. I would accept this girl's feelings—so long as we didn't cross the line. I'd guide her carefully, make sure Cha Nara didn't get hurt. And make sure she didn't mistake this sudden, heated emotion for eternal love.
I took off my shirt, tossed it loosely over the coat rack, and lay back down. Only then did she burrow into my arms and nestle against me.
"Oppa."
"Yeah."
"Um... sing me a lullaby..."
"That's a little tough."
"Just once."
She asked so earnestly, but I didn't sing. Instead, I held her gently, stroked her hair, and patted her back.
"That's nice..."
Maybe my steady touch had put her at ease, because Cha Nara answered in a voice that had gone noticeably drowsy.
Hwoo... hwoo... hwoo...
It wasn't long before the girl in my arms began breathing softly and evenly.
"Hah..."
I'd made my decision, but my head was still a mess.
A girl who could walk down any street and find people who adored her—why was she fixated on me of all people...
But as soon as that thought crossed my mind, I remembered: top actresses like Sieun-nuna and Eunhwi-nuna were already losing their minds over me. There was no guarantee Cha Nara wouldn't do the same.
'Am I actually decent-looking?'
A baseless surge of confidence welled up, but then I remembered something Sieun-nuna had once said, and the confidence vanished just as quickly.
- Nuna, am I good-looking?
- Bullshit! Did you go somewhere and hear some weird talk? Did Eunhwi say that? Try saying that one more time—just try!
I tried to gently slip my shoulder free and ease myself up, but Cha Nara had her arms locked tight around my waist, so I just gave up and closed my eyes.
---
"I'm back."
"Welcome back."
"Where's Eunhwi-nuna?"
"Shooting."
"Ah, right."
After a quick meal, I trudged to the gym with the heart of a cow being led to the slaughterhouse.
"Let's just do a light run today."
I was a little suspicious, but I didn't know anything about exercise (or more precisely, I didn't want to know), so I just went along with it.
And we really did finish after a twenty-minute run.
I got washed up first and was sitting on the sofa when something felt off.
"I should be collapsing from exhaustion after coming back from working out..."
But because we'd gone a little lighter today, I couldn't fall asleep. My head felt clear.
"What, you're not sleeping? Don't you have work tomorrow?"
"It's Saturday tomorrow, Nuna."
"Ah."
"You've become such a bum that you've lost your sense of what day it is?"
"Yep. Lost it."
She was no fun to tease. If it were Eunhwi-nuna, she would've bristled and jumped on me, but Sieun-nuna never humored me at all.
"Nuna."
"What?"
"Why didn't you become a professor?"
She'd entered Daehanyedae at the top of her class and graduated at the top. By any measure, she was one of the representative actresses of South Korea. Number one in appearance fees per episode, and her debut wasn't exactly late either. Nobody could've said a word if she'd become a professor.
"Too much hassle."
"Huh?"
"Look at Eunhwi. Prepping for class, teaching, school admin work, shooting—the school makes accommodations, sure, but do you have any idea how busy she is?"
Nuna started ticking items off on her fingers, listing every one of Eunhwi-nuna's responsibilities. There were probably even more than that.
She wasn't wrong. With the weather getting warmer, she was gradually cutting back on outside schedules, but Eunhwi-nuna still went out at dawn at least three times a week and came back at dawn. After Sieun-nuna went abroad, she'd force herself to come home because she worried about me being alone, which probably left her even more exhausted.
"And I can't teach. I've got zero talent for teaching anyone else."
"Juniors and child actors sometimes come up to me on set asking for advice, but I can't give it. Even when I explain, they don't get it."
Nuna was what people called a natural-born genius. She absorbed scripts like a sponge and performed them as if she lived inside that world. Not my assessment, by the way—I can't make highbrow evaluations like that. My judgment only stretches as far as "she's good" or "she isn't."
Not that her performances just happened on their own, either. When she played a doctor, she spent the whole shoot shadowing real doctors at a hospital, from pre-production until the very end. When her role worked at a design firm, she actually went on-site to learn design or even did real work there. She put in an enormous amount of effort.
Sometimes people criticized Nuna, saying she got paid way too much, but having watched her effort up close, there were moments when that money honestly looked insufficient.
Even now, she was clinging to a script whose filming had long since wrapped, still studying it. If a similar role or script came in, she wanted to do an even better job—a truly remarkable person in so many ways. If it were me, I would've thrown that script out the second filming ended...
"Sijun-ah."
"Yeah?"
"You're staring a hole through me. Quit it."
"Ah..."
I'd apparently been staring at Nuna without realizing it.
"What, you got something to say?"
"Yeah."
"What is it?"
"You're pretty, Nuna."
"..."
Nuna clapped her script shut with a sharp thump and turned her body away.
"I told you not to do that."
"Not to do what?"
"That! That thing where you just come in out of nowhere with it!"
It was Sieun-nuna's weak point. She had almost no resistance to that kind of thing... no, scratch that. None. Zero.
"Then how did you film all those rom-coms, Choi Sieun?"
"That's work! And since when do you call me 'Choi Sieun'!"
Once again: women are really sensitive about how you address them.
"You son of a—come here!"
I dodged Nuna's swinging cushion, weaving this way and that as I fled.
"Aren't you an actress? Watch your mouth!"
"I only do this to you! Only to you!!!"
I kept dodging pretty well, but eventually I ran out of space to run, so I grabbed Nuna's wrist as she swung the cushion.
"Hoo... enough with the violence... You're the reason Eunhwi-nuna acts like that too..."
"Is Eunhwi a child? She learns by watching me? She was always like that."
I gave a light tug and she let go of the cushion she'd been clutching, then slipped right into my arms.
I stroked Nuna's hair as she nestled against me, and she wrapped her arms around my waist and rubbed her face against my chest in return.
"Sijun-ah."
"Yeah, my pretty Nuna."
I aimed another one of those remarks she had no immunity to at Sieun-nuna gazing up at me, and then I sealed my lips over hers.
"Mwah! Smooch! Mwah! Mwah! Hah... Hah..."
We explored each other's mouths until we ran out of breath, then pulled slightly apart.
"Hah... hah... Our Sijun-ie's all grown up. Good at kissing, too."
"What are you talking about. Anyone hearing you would think we'd been apart for ten years."
"Tee-hee... you're right... Still, I missed you so much that I finished filming early and rushed back. You can let me have this much."
We kept chatting idly, but the moment our eyes met again, we stopped each other's mouths once more.